It's not in me to want to hurt someone

[Savage WillParticipant 181]

If it were me brother, I wouldn’t give her the benefit of the doubt. It would mean I would be giving that person another chance to screw me. as far as relationships are considered, once they f~~~ you up thats it. Its going to happen again.
Unless the woman goes on a pilgrimage for three years on foot and actually find God and confess thoroughly, it aint gonna happen. Maybe not even after that. she knows you and she left you. Be aware of that and I would suggest you be careful she doesnt play on ur soft side.
Don’t say anything.
Speak well to her mom if she reaches out to you and tell her you dont know anything about whats going on with your ex. you are free of your obligations towards her.
don’t give her the benefit of the doubt. hope you found it helpful

Don't fucking tell me it's nighttime when the sun is clearly shining in the sky.

[IRememberLightsParticipant 53]

Savage Will wrote:

If it were me brother, I wouldn’t give her the benefit of the doubt. It would mean I would be giving that person another chance to screw me. as far as relationships are considered, once they f~~~ you up thats it. Its going to happen again.
Unless the woman goes on a pilgrimage for three years on foot and actually find God and confess thoroughly, it aint gonna happen. Maybe not even after that. she knows you and she left you. Be aware of that and I would suggest you be careful she doesnt play on ur soft side.
Don’t say anything.
Speak well to her mom if she reaches out to you and tell her you dont know anything about whats going on with your ex. you are free of your obligations towards her.
don’t give her the benefit of the doubt. hope you found it helpful

I appreciate it man. I’m struggling with wanting to reply but you guys and the knifes the the chest and kick in the b~~~~. That said not one was underhanded or in my back. Brothers, they kick your ass but damn it they look out for one another. Thank you.

[experiencedParticipant]

IRememberLights wrote:

A brief history. My ex-wife left me with little explanation around the same time I was being medically separated from the military. Aside from legal matters we haven’t attempted to contact one another. Some friends of her’s contacted me to say she had gone missing and they were worried. I passed that information along to my ex’s mother (who still loves me to death). Today, about 2 months later, I receive an olive branch via email in the form of a movie recommendation that I had actually never heard of and would probably enjoy. It’s not like her to swallow pride and I know it took a lot for her to send that to me.

My conundrum is that I have grown so much emotionally to the point where I am proud of who I am without the need for obligatory social norms. I do not wish to focus on the past as it’s unforgiving. But, I feel if I disregard this gesture I’m acknowledging it as still part of my life.

Brothers I turn to you. Do I do my best to ignore and hope it doesn’t eat away at me knowing it will hurt her. Do I request she never contact me again? I don’t want her to be part of my life, but I don’t want to make a decision that shoulders a greater burden.

Without having read any other replies yet, I must say, “F~~~ NO”.
The, “You’re not going to be an asshole are you? card” is ALWAYS being played by women to most men’s demise.
Upon closer examination though, THEY are the ones who set up the situation, ergo the proper male response is, “You’re damn right I am.”
Do not fall for their “All In” betting ploy for a single nanosecond.
They are bluffing and SETTING IT UP SO THE GUY’S THE APPARENT ASSHOLE!”
Tell the laydeez “sorry, I’m NOT your moron wallet equipped life support system for a living dido… so you can ruck no not ruck, f~~~ off.
Go f~~~ Chad you c~~~ you. 🙂

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[OldBillParticipant]

Radio silence, brother, radio silence.

You don’t want to hurt anyone? How about not hurting yourself for a change?

This woman left you during one of the darkest parts of your life, pulled a “She’s missing” s~~~ test on you, her family, and her friends, and now after treating you as badly as she has she contacts you with a movie recommendation? Really?

Block her emails, block her numbers, don’t respond to her even through third parties. Don’t offer yourself up for more of her games. She left you and you’re better for it.

One chance, per person, per lifetime. She’s had hers.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[experiencedParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

IRememberLights wrote:

I receive an olive branch via email

Only detail left out is …. did you receive it from “her” or the mother?
If the mother, a polite “thank you for thinking of me” will suffice.

But lets assume it’s from “her”, then it’s quite bizzare to receive a “movie recommendation” which is a poke to see your response. There shouldn’t be a response from you at all, because she’s not being direct.

She left you with little explanation – means there are too many things left unsaid. To ignore those things and send you a “movie recommendation” is LAZY, passive aggressive, and underhanded.

Trust your manstincts.

Look at the email, and she doesn’t make it compelling, don’t bother.
You’re not obligated to reply.

IRememberLights wrote:

Some friends of her’s contacted me to say she had gone missing and they were worried.

Another very interesting test of your devotion – and to see if you still have any.

She left you with little explanation. So who cares if she “goes missing”?
I’m not even saying that to be cruel.

IRememberLights wrote:

It’s not like her to swallow pride and I know it took a lot for her to send that to me.

No it didn’t. Its’ LAZY.

Before you waste any more thought on this, look at her effort.
It’s actually quite thoughtless.

IRememberLights wrote:

Do I do my best to ignore and hope it doesn’t eat away at me knowing it will hurt her.

No need to try and defeat your conscience. You don’t need to “work hard” to ignore. It takes less effort than composing a reply!

IRememberLights wrote:

Do I request she never contact me again?

I have been in this situation before and gave it all I had. We even went out and had a terrific evening and ended it as friends amicably and closed the place. We were the last people there. I felt like s~~~tt.

The following morning, I sent an email “Never contact me again under any circumstances”. As soon as I clicked “send”, I felt like a million bucks. After taxes. I finally ejected the emotional vampire who was sucking my thoughts even though she wasn’t around. Suddenly, they stopped. Instantly. She was no longer in my head.

But if you decide to do this… you absolutely CAN NOT CAVE.

That’s it. She’s dead to you. If you cave on it, she’ll see you as a weakling.

She will probably hate you, but she WILL respect you.

Have the b~~~~ to let a woman hate you.
It’s f~~~ing spectacular.

Anonymous wrote:

JVB wrote:

She had here chance my friend. Who says she hasn’t played the market and has come up empty handed. Back to you makes you the bottom of the barrel.

Correct.
You’re being monkey branched not olive branched.

Women don’t suddenly go off on their own,,, she had some exciting Chad Thunderc~~~ pounding her and thought the relationship was real.
She’s already been alpha widowed and she’s decided you’re the safest consolation prize she can fall back on (for now)

As a Blue Piller it’s always an ego boost to have some woman come back with their story of regret about how they didn’t realise how wonderful you were. It’s remarkably common.
As a Red Piller, brick wall it or she’ll just keep on f~~~ing you over.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[experiencedParticipant]

OldBill wrote:

You don’t want to hurt anyone? How about not hurting yourself for a change?
Block her emails, block her numbers, don’t respond to her even through third parties. Don’t offer yourself up for more of her games. She left you and you’re better for it.
One chance, per person, per lifetime. She’s had hers.

Bill’s correct.
DNE
DNE
She: Does Not Exist

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[OgreParticipant 5863]

She ghosted you, and then added “Oh, but she may be in danger”.

You’ve slayed the white knight inside of you. Compassion is a manly condition, but when women misuse it they should get none from you.

Your apathy won’t hurt her, it just won’t continue to help her.

If someone drives their car off of a bridge into freezing water, the car is going under and their seatbelt or damage prevents their escape and you don’t help, did you kill them? No, you just didn’t risk your life as well. It may seem like a weird analogy, but think it over for a bit and you’ll see how it works for your situation.

She chose for you whether you got to maintain your blissful previous existence, everything after that becomes your choices that most benefit you.

Cheers, and welcome.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

IRememberLights wrote:

Willie wrote:
Trail428 wrote:
Women don’t suddenly go off on their own,,, she had some exciting Chad Thunderc~~~ pounding her and thought the relationship was real.
ahahahaahahaha
Except it was a Jill ThunderC~~~! Yeah she went full libtard.

edit: spelling

Late to the game. For clarification she hooked up with a yeast infected dyke?? DUDE!!! How is this even a struggle for you?? She has just shown you that she prefers the dysfunctional, infected, demented mindset of a female. LET HER GO.

In fact, letting her go is the ONLY loving thing you can do. Seriously, think about it. Are you planning to hold a gun to her head and demand that she reciprocate love?? Please. GIVE HER UP TO HER CHOICES, and live well. It’s better than revenge.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Anonymous 54]

IRememberLights wrote:

Willie wrote:

Trail428 wrote:
Women don’t suddenly go off on their own,,, she had some exciting Chad Thunderc~~~ pounding her and thought the relationship was real.
ahahahaahahaha

Except it was a Jill ThunderC~~~! Yeah she went full libtard.

edit: spelling

Is this why you were vauge about the part of her being missing?.

Brother some bridges are meant to be burned. Never live life in reverse. Move forward.

[Anonymous 0]

SHE DELETED YOU
Delete your email. Change your email address. Change your physical address. Don’t talk to the ex mom-in-law. Do you think she will side with you over her own daughter? She is probably telling your ex wife everything you say. If you don’t believe that, try an experiment. Tell your MIL and only her something designed to get a reaction from your ex wife and see how long it takes her to find out or contact you. Something like you won the lottery would probably do it.
You are treating her logically, honourably, and respectfully. Are you getting that in return?
Ghost her. She is dead. NFG

[JVBParticipant]

Radio silence to both mom and her spawn. Take the advice of your brothers on here and DON’T buckle !! You will thank yourself here shortly down the line. Nothing gives a bitch the message more than the cold shoulder. She will hate it and start to gain some respect for you. She may even try harder…..if that’s the case, refer to the above. Stay strong, your almost there brother.

Peace is > piece.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

There’s some great wisdom in this thread brother.

She left to go jump on the alpha c~~~. A little while later Chad dropped her ass.

She’s hurt, vulnerable, needs validation after he dumped her. She sees you as stable, “good enough”, etc.

How could you possibly benefit from communicating with her?

Focus on yourself for once, not her. She doesn’t deserve your attention or concern or energy. You do.

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

The decision by the MGTOW Supreme Court of Advice is unanimous — GO YOUR OWN WAY.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

IRememberLights wrote:

So then, what is the consensus? Radio silence? A resounding go F*** yourself?

NOT “go f~~~ yourself”.

And if you don’t know how to respond, don’t.

What you don’t say… is just as important as what you DO say.
What you don’t do… is just as important as what you do.

The MGTOW response is no response.

Perhaps you think ignoring “hurst worse”. And you’re right!
But YOU didn’t need to do it. She will do that to herself.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Savage WillParticipant 181]

bro, stick around. im new myself here but i can tell you this, this site has got something real. something guys like us yearn for but dont find it in today’s media dominated world.
“fill yourself with all the things you need when you’re hungry”
–Oasis
this site is an oasis inn in the middle of the desert
ciao

Don't fucking tell me it's nighttime when the sun is clearly shining in the sky.

[IRememberLightsParticipant 53]

Update:

After holding onto the message for a couple days the significance it had rapidly diminished. With the encouragement I have received from this community, I no longer care. It’s gone and I have no interest in hearing whatever she may have to say.

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

Let me put this delicately.

To HELL with her. She left and didn’t give a s~~~ about you. Too late for some lame ass attempt to make up for that.

Don’t be a pussy. Man up. Don’t answer. Block her email/phone/etc.

Move on and live the life you deserve.

[Anonymous 1]

good to hear you went silent.

Make sure you add her to your spam list so you’re not tempted to read any further emails from her.. then this conundrum won’t crop up again.

I must say – I am learning so much here. When I read your story I was on the fence, but various posters have cut to the quick and sorted my mind out, too.

[narwhalParticipant]

I didn’t see this, but I assume no kids are involved, correct?

I agree with everyone else, but I wanted to comment on the ‘not wanting to hurt her’ part. That mindset needs to end. She’s done ALL the hurting to you and herself. She herself hurtling towards the edge of a cliff, and you wisely chose not put yourself in harm by getting between her and the cliff. You aren’t hurting her, you simply aren’t rescuing her.

And why should you? Even if you act altruistically, are you really helping her by deny the consequences her actions deserve? I’d actually argue that you are actually looking out for her best interests by not letting her use you as a crutch, attention, or guilt relief, whatever her reason is.

Ok. Then do it.

[Author]

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