Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › It's not in me to want to hurt someone
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narwhal 3 years, 2 months ago.
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A brief history. My ex-wife left me with little explanation around the same time I was being medically separated from the military. Aside from legal matters we haven’t attempted to contact one another. Some friends of her’s contacted me to say she had gone missing and they were worried. I passed that information along to my ex’s mother (who still loves me to death). Today, about 2 months later, I receive an olive branch via email in the form of a movie recommendation that I had actually never heard of and would probably enjoy. It’s not like her to swallow pride and I know it took a lot for her to send that to me.
My conundrum is that I have grown so much emotionally to the point where I am proud of who I am without the need for obligatory social norms. I do not wish to focus on the past as it’s unforgiving. But, I feel if I disregard this gesture I’m acknowledging it as still part of my life.
Brothers I turn to you. Do I do my best to ignore and hope it doesn’t eat away at me knowing it will hurt her. Do I request she never contact me again? I don’t want her to be part of my life, but I don’t want to make a decision that shoulders a greater burden.
Anonymous54Sorry Im the curious type, so they found her? Where had she been?
I receive an olive branch via email
Only detail left out is …. did you receive it from “her” or the mother?
If the mother, a polite “thank you for thinking of me” will suffice.But lets assume it’s from “her”, then it’s quite bizzare to receive a “movie recommendation” which is a poke to see your response. There shouldn’t be a response from you at all, because she’s not being direct.
She left you with little explanation – means there are too many things left unsaid. To ignore those things and send you a “movie recommendation” is LAZY, passive aggressive, and underhanded.
Trust your manstincts.
Look at the email, and she doesn’t make it compelling, don’t bother.
You’re not obligated to reply.Some friends of her’s contacted me to say she had gone missing and they were worried.
Another very interesting test of your devotion – and to see if you still have any.
She left you with little explanation. So who cares if she “goes missing”?
I’m not even saying that to be cruel.It’s not like her to swallow pride and I know it took a lot for her to send that to me.
No it didn’t. Its’ LAZY.
Before you waste any more thought on this, look at her effort.
It’s actually quite thoughtless.Do I do my best to ignore and hope it doesn’t eat away at me knowing it will hurt her.
No need to try and defeat your conscience. You don’t need to “work hard” to ignore. It takes less effort than composing a reply!
Do I request she never contact me again?
I have been in this situation before and gave it all I had. We even went out and had a terrific evening and ended it
as friendsamicably and closed the place. We were the last people there. I felt like s~~~tt.The following morning, I sent an email “Never contact me again under any circumstances”. As soon as I clicked “send”, I felt like a million bucks. After taxes. I finally ejected the emotional vampire who was sucking my thoughts even though she wasn’t around. Suddenly, they stopped. Instantly. She was no longer in my head.
But if you decide to do this… you absolutely CAN NOT CAVE.
That’s it. She’s dead to you. If you cave on it, she’ll see you as a weakling.She will probably hate you, but she WILL respect you.
Have the b~~~~ to let a woman hate you.
It’s f~~~ing spectacular.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.
Anonymous54Hhmmm….
Sorry Im the curious type, so they found her? Where had she been?
I bet that was a 3rd party s~~~ test and she didn’t “go missing” at all. Friends of an Ex wife contact an ex-husband as if he should still give a s~~~ about her whereabouts. Even if she IS missing it’s totally out of line.
“I’m leaving you …. but I still want you to care about my whereabouts”.
Please.
It’s not in me to want to hurt someone
Me either, but trust me… women are far more resilient than you think. She’ll get over it. As easily as wives get over their husbands the day after the wedding when they start planning the divorce. Sometimes even before the wedding.
It may not be in you to hurt someone but she probably knows that too.
Surprise her this once.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.One chance per person per lifetime. She had her chance and now it is time for you to move on to better things.
Sorry Im the curious type, so they found her? Where had she been?
I bet that was a 3rd party s~~~ test and she didn’t “go missing” at all.
It’s not in me to want to hurt someone
Me either, but trust me… women are far more resilient than you think. She’ll get over it. As easily as wives get over their husbands the day after the wedding when they start planning the divorce.
I couldn’t tell you if she was ever found by those who were looking. I dropped it after I did what I felt was right in contacting her mother.
As much as I don’t want to hurt anyone, resilient or not, I just can’t think of any good that can come from this. I’ve moved on, it’s just new territory for me to have to say tough s~~~ in exactly two fewer words. We were friends long before we were involved. It’s like part of me is reaching to regain that friendship but lets be honest whom ever she was, whom ever we were….all dead.
I dropped it after I did what I felt was right in contacting her mother.
So if you dropped it and she’s “all dead” to you, what struggle are you having with this?
Brothers I turn to you. Do I do my best to ignore and hope it doesn’t eat away at me knowing it will hurt her. Do I request she never contact me again? I don’t want her to be part of my life, but I don’t want to make a decision that shoulders a greater burden.
You answered it yourself……
I don’t want her to be part of my life.
Best way to find the answer, is really on your own like that ^.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.I dropped it after I did what I felt was right in contacting her mother.
So if you dropped it and she’s “all dead” to you, what struggle are you having with this?
Brothers I turn to you. Do I do my best to ignore and hope it doesn’t eat away at me knowing it will hurt her. Do I request she never contact me again? I don’t want her to be part of my life, but I don’t want to make a decision that shoulders a greater burden.
You answered it yourself……
I don’t want her to be part of my life.
Best way to find the answer, is really on your own like that ^.
Keymaster you’re so awesome. Cut straight through the bulls~~~. Rock on man.
But if you decide to do this… you absolutely CAN NOT CAVE.
That’s it. She’s dead to you. If you cave on it, she’ll see you as a weakling.^^That is one of the many mistakes I have made in the course of my life. It IS so true!
But if you decide to do this… you absolutely CAN NOT CAVE.
That’s it. She’s dead to you. If you cave on it, she’ll see you as a weakling.^^That is one of the many mistakes I have made in the course of my life. It IS so true!
I need something like Trunk Monkey to come and knee cap me every time I even begin to flirt with the tiniest notion.
I need something like Trunk Monkey to come and knee cap me every time I even begin to flirt with the tiniest notion.
But that would require you getting hurt, conflict of interest in regards to your thread title 😛
Welcome to MGTOW
to ya
She had here chance my friend. Who says she hasn’t played the market and has come up empty handed. Back to you makes you the bottom of the barrel. Stand your ground ,say not interested if you chose to respond and move on. If that hurts her, that’s life. Did she care when she you ? Stay strong brother!!
Peace is > piece.
Who says she hasn’t played the market and has come up empty handed. Back to you makes you the bottom of the barrel.
It may be hard to accept, but I think JVB is exactly right. I’ve seen it over and over again.
Stay strong. You know what you have to do.
Keymaster was giving astronomical input into the insight of how lazy and validation seeking this bitch was and I would follow his advise and spurn this s~~~ out of her while you still have time. Hint you were being used as she knew your thoughts would go wild with intrigue with her email, but absolutely gives no f~~~s about you, probably, heh. Rid yourself of the bluepill and get your payback. It is a bitch like she is, not judging though. Grab the higher ground, it is there for the taking.
Anonymous5She had here chance my friend. Who says she hasn’t played the market and has come up empty handed. Back to you makes you the bottom of the barrel.
Correct.
You’re being monkey branched not olive branched.
Women don’t suddenly go off on their own,,, she had some exciting Chad Thunderc~~~ pounding her and thought the relationship was real.
She’s already been alpha widowed and she’s decided you’re the safest consolation prize she can fall back on (for now)As a Blue Piller it’s always an ego boost to have some woman come back with their story of regret about how they didn’t realise how wonderful you were. It’s remarkably common.
As a Red Piller, brick wall it or she’ll just keep on f~~~ing you over.Feeling guilty for not responding in this situation is like feeling guilty for not accepting a present box containing hand grenades, anthrax, cobra and few monkeys.
The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny
@irememberlights
Ignore it and move on. It will take time but Once you get the hang of it, you’ll have a whole new perspective. All the talks about the s~~~ testing is real. Do yourself a favor, think for yourself.btw
Women don’t suddenly go off on their own,,, she had some exciting Chad Thunderc~~~ pounding her and thought the relationship was real.
ahahahaahahaha
Don't fucking tell me it's nighttime when the sun is clearly shining in the sky.
So then, what is the consensus? Radio silence? A resounding go F*** yourself?
finally ejected the emotional vampire who was sucking my thoughts even though she wasn’t around.
One chance per person per lifetime. She had her chance and now it is time for you to move on to better things.
Stand your ground ,say not interested if you chose to respond and move on. If that hurts her, that’s life. Did she care when she you ? Stay strong brother!!
Live a c~~~ free life.
Grab the higher ground, it is there for the taking.
As a Red Piller, brick wall it or she’ll just keep on f~~~ing you over.
Feeling guilty for not responding in this situation is like feeling guilty for not accepting a present box containing hand grenades, anthrax, cobra and few monkeys.
I agree and want nothing to do with her at this point. But grasping at the wisdom of my peers is it even worth responding to and just deleting that s~~~ and moving on?
Trail428 wrote:
Women don’t suddenly go off on their own,,, she had some exciting Chad Thunderc~~~ pounding her and thought the relationship was real.
ahahahaahahahaExcept it was a Jill ThunderC~~~! Yeah she went full libtard.
edit: spelling
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