Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › It seems hard to be a better man
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This topic contains 34 replies, has 27 voices, and was last updated by 
Chase Pesos 2 years, 7 months ago.
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There were times in the past when, after I was being registered in a forum or an online group, I would think that I was already a part of that community. For example, I once joined a group on facebook which was about guitar lessons and I thought “Ok, learning the guitar is very easy from now on”, but it wasn’t. I had to learn how to play it, learning the chords, the position of my hands etc. Eventually, I quit it.
That’s how I feel now. For years I wanted to be an “alpha male”, a strong, confident, smart man. I discovered MGTOW and wanted to be a member of it. I have come across many men here who are confident, intelligent, and who have self knowledge. But with loggin in, it doesn’t mean I am like them, like you guys. What it takes for a man to be all that, is it so difficult? Could every man be like this?
There are members here who have a very nice job, their life seems to be very cool, as they’ve mentioned. There is even a guy who is only 21 and is about to invest the money he has made from past jobs, in buying a house.
I am 24. I don’t have or had a job. I’m still living with my parents, though in my country is a normal thing. Never had a real relationship. I don’t know how to drive yet, I have social anxiety, I’m a bit overweight (but not too much), and have no friends. I had one but turned out he’s a person that can’t be trusted. There were two times when things were pretty bad and I considered giving an end to my life, but I thought “It’s a shame, I am too young”. (Naive thinking, there is never a right age for that. Never do it).
How can I, after all these, be an alpha male, when it’s feels like being a “beta” one? It’s like climbing mount Everest. Is it possible now on, or I’ll be like that forever? How did you do it?
Throw OUT the ALPHA, and BETA Bull S~~~ Labels for starters.
YOU are YOUNG and FREE, GO OUT and DO what YOU want !!
It’s UP TO YOU to MAKE YOUR LIFE WHAT YOU WANT IT !!
I SUGGEST getting a job, and start MAKING MONEY, and taking RESPONSIBILITY for YOURSELF / YOUR LIFE !!
YOU are 24, LIFE is GOING ON NOW, I Think it’s YOUR TIME to START PARTICIPATING !
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Dude… Cut it ok.
Alpha male? Wtf is that?
Do you get the degree at university?How about a NFG MALE.
Do you wanna know how to be a real men? YOU ALREADY ARE. See that thing on between your legs?
That’s a dick. That makes you a men.Now if you wanna be an autosuficient and better person, f~~~ing do it.
Can’t get out from your parents house? Who cares?
Do you carry your own weight?
Get a degree in something usefull. Or learn a skill, something you can work in.
And social anxiety isn’t real… for it to be real society must exist, and this s~~~hole can’t be called society.
Soo avoiding this Dirt we live in is not anxious, it is f~~~ing common sense.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Anonymous6Plus you’re young. Give life time. Keep your nose to the grind. Keep your head in the books. Keep your mind off the chicks. Hard work and faith are powerful instruments. POWERFUL!! You would be surprised how far you can go with just those two things. If you don’t pick up anything else from here, pick up this: The crown is not given to the swift nor the strong, but the one who holds out till the very end.
You’ll go through life, you’ll get knocked down sometimes, and you’ll get back up. You’ll get back up because you have a goal in mind, and you’ll be damned if anything is gonna stop you from getting there. You live with your folks right now, SO!! This is your time to put in that hard work that I said. Work hard now, and play later. Work hard now, and retire early. You’re the same age as me. I’m in grad school right now. I wish I was done and working right now, but i’m not. It’s a slow process. You’ll get to where you need to be, when you need to be there.
Do me a favor. I want you to write down your goals. Every one of them. I want you to write them in big bold letters, and I want you to put it by your bed or over the door of your bedroom. And every day you get up and look at that list of goals. When times get hard, and you think things won’t get better, look at that list and remember what you’re fighting for. Look at that list for your motivation. Look at that list for your inspiration. And when you do that, you’ll notice things start to get crossed off the list. And when you finish that list, make another one and repeat the process.
Remember old Venom told you to hold on, relax and push forward. Everything will work out. And remember, any time you need advice you know 24000 people to ask advice of. Be cool man
Whether or not you realize it:
You have your answer within your own question.
From reading your post, it is beyond obvious that you need to spend less time comparing your life to the lives of others. And devote more time, effort and energy into creating your own life and defining your purpose in this world.
No external forces or factors determine your self worth. Ever.
But nothing will happen as long as you are only dwelling on the negative aspects of your life and simply wishing it was better.
You need to actively and passionately want more out of life. Be willing to fight for it and commit with tenacity and perseverance.
Just to share part of my own story: In high school, I never played any sports. I didn’t think I was good enough, had low self worth and retreated into music. Playing guitar, studying everything I could about the instrument and doing so because I could do it while alone. If I had compared myself at the time to some of my guitar heroes like Yngwie Malmsteen, Alex Skolnick and George Lynch, I would have stopped, put my guitar in the closet and never played again.
To conclude – Back to not playing sports in high school. At the age of 30, I spent an entire summer learning how to jump out of planes. Had a couple of close calls, learned from them. Struggled and kept getting back up each time I hit a learning curve. Never surrendered and kept fighting against all odds.
At one point that first summer, an instructor sat down with me and said [exact quote] ‘Maybe skydiving is not for you. . . . .’
And I told him that there was only one of two possible ways out. 01: I either finish learning how to skydive or 02: I die at some point while still trying to learn.
Ten years later, I am light years beyond anything I could have imagined. Rocked 22 jumps in the previous four days and have no fear. It was an evolutionary process that could have only originated from blood, sweat & tears. And that is why it has all been worth it.
Gotta go now. Have to post a few more pics on Facebook from 12,000 feet yesterday so the jocks that I went to high school with on my friend list have something new to choke on.
How did you do it?
How did I do it?
I stopped measuring myself by other people’s labels.
That’s how I did it.
Read you post again and this time pretend you didn’t write it. Pretty f~~~ing pathetic, right? Nothing but the usual list of excuses and failures. You don’t have a job? Get one. You live with your parents? Move out. You don’t know how to drive? Then learn. You’re fat? Lose weight. You have “social anxiety”? So does everyone else.
You’re so fixated on all these labels and how you aren’t one thing or another that you are not living.
Stop trying to fit in. Stop worrying about labels. Decide to do something and then do it.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
I think you’re focusing too much on labels, the whole point of both MGTOW and being a batter person is self sovereignty and self improvement.
If you’re serious about changing your situation let’s start with the job, you don’t mention any qualifications but you do say you’ve never worked, is that because you can’t be bothered (serious question) or because you can’t find work that matches your skillset?
Whichever it is, fix it. If you can’t be bothered, get bothered, glib I know but only you can fix that. If it’s a skillset mismatch you have two options, either retrain your skills to match the job you want or take a job that matches your skillset, I would personally recommend the former as working a job you enjoy makes it much more more likely you will be able to stick with it and progress further. But make no bones about it either way you will have to start from the bottom and work your way up.
The old adage holds true, it’s easier to get a job when you have a job so even if you start by flipping burgers establishing and demonstrating a work ethic will make it easier as you go. cycling to work will also do wonders for your fitness if it’s an option.
Once you’ve got the job sorted and your own money coming in get out of your parents place and find somewhere of your own to call home, if you haven’t already by this point learn to drive (or ride) and get yourself a cheap motor as well. will improve employment prospects further afield if needed.
Your own money, your own pad and your own wheels, sort those basics and the rest is up to you.
The others here are right ^^.
For years I wanted to be an “alpha male”, a strong, confident, smart man.
Before you start counting your inadequacies, you need to first understand what unit of measure you’re using and what you’re speaking about. “Alpha” and ‘beta’ are thrown out here as meaningless except to easily encapsulate certain BEHAVIORS.
But even Altas shrugged, and every “alpha” male will too.
The world also HATES a “strong, confident, smart man”. Haven’t you noticed? It’s a wonder you would even care to aspire to it – unless you think it will get you more ass – because a “strong, confident, smart man” drives bitter bitches crazy with hatelust.
Is that the reason you wish to be an “alpha male”? Because that’s a stifling worthless expenditure of your vitality, and there are already too many PUAs who think they are the dark maned lions – but never will be.
They compete with each other for access to women, female approval, and measure their worth and self-esteem against how it relates to women . . . . desperately trying to look like “the better man” to other men (and women) based on notch counts, and the hotness level of the woman standing next to them.
It’s pathetic.
Godzilla is an “alpha male” and just wants to be left alone to “go his own way”. The perceived “betas” and “alphas” are not what they pretend to be. I have known outwardly “alpha males” who are the weakest characters I have ever come across.
Really wanna be an “alpha male”?
LESSON NUMBER ONE: Don’t look to other people for social cues.How can I, after all these, be an alpha male, when it’s feels like being a “beta” one? It’s like climbing mount Everest. Is it possible now on, or I’ll be like that forever? How did you do it?
Before you ask those questions, you need to first understand what you’re speaking out.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.It would be hard to improve on what the brothers above have said. All I can say is that labels are the device of the enemy–that is their game, not ours. They use labels as a weapon to undermine your identity. I urge you to reject their paradigm. MGTOW is all about doing what is right for you–no one else. Do what brings you satisfaction and you WILL become something powerful and important. I recommend obedience to your conscious, your values and your principles. A “man” is simple someone who has values, ethics and principals and defends them against all comers—period. We call that integrity, and fortunately you are well on the road to this goal or you wouldn’t be here.
Many of the brothers—(i.e. Tower) follow the bushido code. Familiarize yourself with it, live it and the world be damned.
Anonymous54Forget the alpha crap.
To me the alpha guy is the guy in my presence that can kick my ass. So I dont f~~~ with him.
Now, with that out of the way.Just be the best you can be.
Realistic goals, and self discipline.
Anonymous7Sigh, ^ is a lot of great info. Now my .02.
I have been were you are. In fact I was were you are until
about 32. Correction, until about 29. I had finally gotten a refrigeration gig that allowed me to move out.
32 was I hit my stride.I had reinvented myself several times.
Thought I was gaining valuable work experience in the military. And I did it was just civilian companies don’t give a s~~~.Tried HVAC and construction. Did alright but dayum I was still broke as f~~~ and living at home.
Then I reinvented myself again. I don’t want to tell you as what as you have to find your own way, not mine.
Anyway, last reinvention was hard as f~~~. It was a lot of work with more than my share of rejection…..
The point is, hang in there kid, it gets better. But like all things you only get out what you put in.
In all seriousness a tour in your Countries Military is a good spring board.
First of all, thank you for your replies.
Labels are everywhere. Everyone is using them, even people who disagree with “putting labels”, use them. You’re right when you say not to care about it, but it is kind of hard.
When we do some things for others, we usually fail. In the past I wanted to get fit and to be in a good shape just to be attractive to women. I see now that this might be the reason why I wasn’t making it. It’s preferable to do it for myself. Everyone to do it for themselves.
I don’t care how i stand in relation to other men. I do what I want to do and follow my passions.
As for being an ‘alpha’ male; just go to the gym and get in shape and as long as you are decent looking you can be an ‘alpha’ male. Once you’ve gotten over that you’ll realise that women arent as good as you thought they were. Consequently you will stop defining yourself based on what other people want.
In the cesspool that is Western society, the ‘alpha’ is usually a criminal psychopath.
It is not a label that I would wish for.
Anonymous54I notice this alot with tjhe younger guys.
Every one has labels assigined to them.Useless and non productive.
Limiting.Thanks for posting. It sounds like you are looking for answers.
My first question: what is a better man? Maybe don’t worry about being a better man and just be the man you want to be. And you may find that the man you want to be will be different at different times.
In life, I’ve played both an alpha male and a beta male. Both behaviors were simply tools to get me to a certain goal I wanted to achieve at the time.
Figure out where you want to be and what goals you want to achieve. The rest is easy.
Have fun with the journey.And social anxiety isn’t real… for it to be real society must exist, and this s~~~hole can’t be called society.
Oh my God, if you think deeper and philosophize what you just wrote, this might be the solution for social anxiety. I mean, if you think about the degeneracy of modern society, then it lowers your standards and you can face it without any anxiety at all…
I agree with all of the above posts.
Just like with the guitar, whatever it is you want will take work. Probably lots of work.
Will you do it, or just quit?When you do the work instead of quitting, is when you begin your journey towards being a better man.
Of course it is hard. You aspire to become the top 50% or top 10% of men. If a better man is easy that everyone can become, it become the average / mediocre man.
You have to sacrifice and work harder then 50% or 90% of other men. People always envy the result of these 50-90% men but did not see the sacrifice these men made to get where they are.
If you want to be like them, sacrifice in unavoidable. You have to decide is it worth it? Are you happy with your current state can have no regrets in the future? Or you are willing to pay the price to be the top 10%? Or you think the price is too steep and a balance between the two give you the best result that you will not regret?
That is the path you choose, every man path is unique as every man balance is different.
If you are happy not working and can survive living off grid then go for it. But if you think you need modern comfort and your passive income is not enough to sustain them then work for it.
If you think you sweat, blood, time will reward you with a payout that you are happy with then go for it.Whatever decision you make, the world does not understand wishful thinking or feeling of a man. The world only understand intelligence, sweat, sacrifice of a man. If you want the world to respond, speak if a language that the world understand.
There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.
but it is kind of hard.
It’s hard because it’s worth doing.
You’ve been labeled by your parents, teachers, and others because labeling you is easier than raising, teaching, or socializing you.
The sad part is that you’re too beaten down to even question the lazy labels applied to you.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
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