Is she playing me for a fool?

[sl00tMonkeyParticipant 16]

Hi, i read this forum for a while but now I decided to sign up. English is not my 1st language so sorry for bad language!

Here is the situation. Me and my gf are both 26 years old. It’s a new relationship – 5 months. She is my 1st gf (Im not ugly or anything, just very picky and was very busy before). She is great and I love her apart from some stuff I have been noticing for the last couple of weeks.
What bothers me the most is that I feel Im not a priority in her life most of the time. We live 20 min driving away and we see each other like 3 times a week. Its almost always me the one who drove to her town to see her (80 % of the time if not more).

So on Wednesday she called me and asked me if I wanted to come to pub that is in her town. She went there after work with some of her friends. I said id like her to come to my place since I m the one who is driving most of the time. She said I ll let you know and then I got the message that she got stuck with friends and that she knows she canceled on me but she can come to my place on Friday, Saturday and Sunday if I will want her to. I wasn’t happy but said ‘Ok, have a good time…’ the other thing that also bothers me is that she is not eager to have sex and never initiate it. We both live with parents but im always alone for weekends so that’s when she can come to my place to have sex/sleep over. I invite her often but she comes like once every 3 or 4 weeks. She always finds something more appealing/important then come to me and spend the night together. Its almost like she is avoiding sex… As I siad I have no previous relationship experiences but I have always thought she would have similar wishes regarding the amount of sex (take every chance we get to do it) because it’s the beginning of the new relationship…

So last Saturday I was invited to her sister’s bday party. She lives with her bf in a different town cca 40 min away from my town. I m not a fan of events like this (especially when I do not know so many people there) and my gf is very aware of that. But I went because I know that means a lot to my gf and is a normal thing to do for someone you love/in relationship. So I picked up my gf (drove to her town – 20 min in opposite direction) then drove to another city 40 min, spent 5 hours with her sister, family and other folks who were invited. We were there till the end, and drove back. I was certain we are going to my place to sleep over. We talked about it one day before… When we were driving back home she got a call from her girlfriend who is also her neighbour saying they have some kind of little party at her place and that we should come. I said I really don’t feel like it (I had enough sitting,eating and drinking for one day) plus I d have to drive her back home (40 min – her town is in the middle of my town and the town her sister lives) and then drive back to my place (another 20 min in opposite direction). She insisted saying she doesnt have toothbrush, pijama and BC pills with her so we have to go there anyway. I was kinda angry saying why didnt she took it before or go back home with her parents instead with me and she said that she forgot and her brains doesnt work at weekends. Also one time before it was something similar but she slept in my t shirt, and used my toothbrush with no problem. And she ahd her BC pills in her purse. But this time it was a problem!? I told her I can drive her to her town but I wont stay for a party and that its her decision – to pick stuff up and go home with me or stay for the party. She asked if I WANT HER TONIGHT. I repplied its your decision… I was irritated by the question since its normal that I want her and it would be normal if she wanted me too – we havent had sex for 2 weeks at that time and it s a new relationship for gods sake. She said we can go there for half an hour and then go back to my place. I said Im really not up for it. The whole time she had her hand resting on my leg while I was driving.

So I drove her back home, she went out and said see you tomorrow and kissed me. I was upset and disappointed but didnt say a word… She felt something is not right so she stayed in the car and talking about some irrelevant things – something like small talk… She knew Im not happy and that I wish her to spent the night in my place but choose to go to the party anyway. She chose friends over me AGAIN, twice in the same week. After that I texted her that she suprised me and i didnt expect somethnig like that from her.The next day we went for a drink where i explained ho i felt and that it wasnt fair from her to ditch me like that after i jsut spent the whole Saturday for her (for a bday party that doest mean anything to me). I also said that the lack off sex and her lack of eagerness bothers me… i told her that ppl in new relationships grab every chance they get to do it and she replied ‘I know’…

So only one week after that (3 weeks of no sex) its weekend again and she went out for a drink with her girlfriends (ladies night out so bfs stayed at home) and I said to her she is invited to come to my place after and she replied I ll let you know – after 2 hours she texted me that they still have plenty to talk about so she wont come and see you tomorrow. Do I expect too much from her? I wish to have sex at least one day for weekends since im alone in the house. I don’t feel like much of priority in her live because of this. Is this normal behaviour for fresh relationship? To be honest sometimes I feel like a fool! maybe im bad at sex or she is just not into me?? BTW she is very hot… not just by my standards…

[SMADParticipant 651]

Not really sure how much “relationship” advice can be given by the community here as many of us actively “stay clear” of relationships and women because, quite frankly, we have better things to do with our time and energy then chase women and trying to appease them.

But my intuition that the general response you will get from others here is:

“Get out and run away and focus on yourself.  Don’t waste your time, etc.”

Or

“It’s a trap!”

Or

“Here are some magic vitamins, they come in the form of little red pills.  Your daily dose is as much as you can handle.”

 

 

Marriage?  No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.

[LonerBonerParticipant 358]

Welcome

Dude! Shes using you. I bet she has male friends aswell.
Grow the f~~~ up, man the f~~~ up, move the f~~~ out of your parents house, dump the f~~~ out of that ego bitch! She dosent have time for you anyway.

 

Keep clam i'm dyslexic.

[MOWsince95Participant 1446]

Let’s see, five months in she

1. doesn’t want to f~~~ you
2. doesn’t want to be with you much unless it’s on her terms
3. doesn’t want to visit you
4. isn’t taking birth control regularly
5. uses promises of sex to try to get you to obey
6. makes you drive her around
7. doesn’t give a s~~~ what you want

No no, I don’t think she is playing you for a fool at all.  She straight up treats you like a fool, and her pet bitch too.
Honestly, reread points 1 thru 7, and then ask yourself why you are bothering with her at all.

 

If you are MGTOW when you are young you have no heart.
If you're not MGTOW when you are 20 you have no brain.

[SMADParticipant 651]

MOWsince95 wrote:

Let’s see, 5 months in she doesn’t want to f~~~ you doesn’t want to be with you much unless it’s on her terms doesn’t want to visit you isn’t taking birth control regularly uses promises of sex to try to get you to obey makes you driver her around doesn’t give a s~~~ what you want No no, I don’t think she is playing you for a fool at all.  She straight up thinks you are a fool, and her pet bitch too.  Honestly, reread points 1 thru 7, and then ask yourself why you are bothering with her at all.

MOWsince95 made such excellent points, I simply had to quote them as they deserve repeating for emphasis.

Marriage?  No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.

[Big Viking Chef BVCParticipant 1286]

Looks pretty bad, Sloot.  U sure that you two aren’t already married?  She’s a cold fish – at least to you.  Even if this is a s~~~-test, you are failing it.  Any way you slice it, you are SUPPOSED to start ignoring her.  When or if she smartens up, then YOU decide if you are still interested in her after she exposes herself like this…the truth is that she is not in love with you.  People who are “in love” don’t behave in that way, so follow your instincts and walk away.  She has given you a snapshot of your future misery if she can tie you down.  You are in danger of permanent incarceration in the friend zone.

Good luck.

BVC

 

Swallow this RED PILL ===> Men will lay down their lives for their brothers, their women and their children. This makes Men useful as slaves. Women will lay down their lives for ONLY their children. To expect more from women is just a FANTASY created by society and reinforced by the unconditional love that we experienced from our Mothers. The key to freedom is the understanding that the woman you meet is not going to fantastically love you like your Mother did. If you buy into the fantasy, then she is your new master. If you do not buy into the fantasy, then she is nothing, and you retain your freedom.

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

Its a combination of her pulling away and s~~~ testing you to see if you will chase her. If you continue to appease her, it devalues yourself in her eyes. Backwards as hell, but thats women for you. At this point you should cut her loose. If she trys to come back around, she will be much closer to your terms. But for gods sake don’t move in with her or even think about marriage.

[Anonymous 42]

sl00tMonkey wrote:

Its almost always me the one who drove to her town to see her (80 % of the time if not more).

She tells her friends it’s Monkey’s Taxi service….

Take her deep sea fishing with an engine block!

sl00tMonkey wrote:

she is not eager to have sex and never initiate it.

That’s cold fish! Cut loose, loose the tuna…

you’ll need it!

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

If she is treating you like this 5 months in, it’s not a good sign.  usually things get worse, not better.  it sounds like she’s using sex to control you, which is a form of abuse.  She also makes you starve so that when you do get it, it seems better than it really is.  My advice is a preemptive breakup or just ghost her.  stop contacting her.  if she contacts you, don’t think everything is fine now and go back to being a slave.  continue to not contact her.  you’re making it way too easy for her to use you.  Is this how you want to be treated for the rest of your life?  No.  So stop wasting your life with her.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[RoyDalParticipant]

Q: Is any woman playing any man for a fool?
A: Yes. Yes, it is what they do. Some might be worse than others, but they all do it.

Ditto, what he said — all of it.

SMAD wrote:

But my intuition that the general response you will get from others here is:

“Get out and run away and focus on yourself.  Don’t waste your time, etc.”

Or

“It’s a trap!”

Or

“Here are some magic vitamins, they come in the form of little red pills.  Your daily dose is as much as you can handle.”

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[nerowolfeParticipant 13]

At this point in an honest relationship with a female, YOU should be her primary concern. Anything else is unacceptable. You are a fool if you stay with this thing.

Cut off all contact. Stay far away from it, dont give it any legal way to mess you up. Stay out of any “relationships” with females, as you are not an equal partner in them from a legal standpoint. Use them for sex, but nothing else. If you need companionship from the opposite sex, you better develop an incredible method for sifting out the bitches, gold-diggers, whores, and psychos long before you let them into your life.

Good Luck!

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Yes she is …. and all the other stuff above.

[VoidraitheParticipant 477]

sl00tMonkey wrote:

BTW she is very hot… not just by my standards…

Typical attitude from attractive women who know it. They assume their appearance is enough to keep you and put no effort into an actual relationship. Also I feel strongly that the “hanging out with her friends” probably involves another guy or guys. If she is very attractive and you aren’t getting any someone else is.

sl00tMonkey wrote:

girlfriends (ladies night out so bfs stayed at home)

She values her girlfriends more than you its very clear.

sl00tMonkey wrote:

English is not my 1st language so sorry for bad language!

Your English is fine. I understood it all.

 

One last thing, as someone who lives in the Canadian prairies add 1 hour to all your diving times and that’s what I was doing when I was 24. Just the difference in population density I guess.

[DilbertParticipant 281]

I think you already know the answer to your own question, you just posted it here hoping someone would prove you wrong or talk you out of it.

It’s really hard to cut the line on that amazing fish you thought you were reeling in.  You may never get another chance like this again, you ain’t getting any younger, you seemed to really hit it off at first, etc..  That fish is actually a shark, but you won’t know that until it’s too late, and even then like most men you’ll rationalize it even while she is biting chunks out of you.

She “is great” because all woman inherently know how to project what a man signals he wants and needs, regardless of how real it is to them.  Not saying its all fake but women mix it up sometimes without even knowing.

I’m sorry buddy, but every beautiful woman keeps a guy or two like you in their life that serve a specific function.  It’s not what you think it is and won’t lead where you want it to go.

When you try to break up she will do/say whatever it takes to keep you around.  Not so much because she wants YOU but what you provide to her and the role you play.

 

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

Yeh dude, sounds like a bad situation to be in, and not worth it. I wish you the best and guys are speaking true here…

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[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

If she wanted to be with you, she would.

Why would anybody want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with them?

Walk away, don’t look back…

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

I recommend f~~~ing her sister.

Then walk away.

[Anonymous 11]

sl00tMonkey wrote:

What bothers me the most is that I feel Im not a priority in her life most of the time

“Warning Will Robinson Warning!” You’re not from the US, but there was a 60s TV show called “Lost in Space” where the Robot character would tell the boy, Will, whenever danger was present. Classic line and a cliche we use here in the States.

Now, a woman who is stuck to you 24/7 is a problem and a woman who does not make you her #1 priority is a problem. Drop her like a hot rock. You’d probably freak if you knew the real reasons you were not a priority. There is a reason you are not priority.

Pull off what Sidecar suggests if you can.

I’ll even keep females as friends if they make my interests some sort of priority. Most have failed by the way.

[SMADParticipant 651]

sidecar wrote:

I recommend f~~~ing her sister. Then walk away.

For bonus points, try f~~~ing the mum as well.

Marriage?  No thanks, i'm not ready to be THAT miserable.

[sl00tMonkeyParticipant 16]

Tnx for replies, however suggesting f~~~ing her sister or even her mum is just… too low. i think you are making fun of the whole situation…

I decided I wont dump her, but keep her around – if there is a chance for sex ill try to get some, if not we wont see each other. Im starting to look for other girls.

BTW. the last time we finally had sex after 3 or 4 weeks of dry spell (she was invited every single weekend to spend the night but always had bull*shi*t excuse – rather go to drinks with friends, had other things to do…) she said during sex (missionary position): ‘WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN!’. its like she is mocking me… fuc*ing bit*ch… or she is just straight out crazy.

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