Introduction/Breaking up with girlfriend

[AkanbiParticipant 2120]

Welcome bro.

Your blueprint to freedom is a good one. Make judicious use of it.

My brother make you no follow sheeple o. Look them and Go Your Way.

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome home, Elduderino
Beer’s in the fridge.
You are on the right track.
Tips:
1. When you do deliver the news, do it in a public place or at least somewhere with credible witnesses. The reason for this is because she will be angry at you and may lash out. In defense, you may restrain her and she will parley that into a domestic violence charge.
2. After the news is delivered,NEVER let yourself be in a situation where you are alone with her. She can allege whatever she wants and you will be automatically guilty when the cops arrive.
3. No matter how horny you get, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER She can say you raped her and ruin your life. Google the stats on how many men still have sex with their exes after they split.
4. In short, after you deliver the news communicate with her ONLY THROUGH YOUR LAWYER Don’t have one, don’t need one, she would never do that. Do not be fooled, yes she will. Just read some of the other guys’ experiences.
Good Luck

[Anonymous 0]

007 (Reborn) wrote:

I would just leave a goodbye note. It is cold, simple, and too the point. You owe her nothing more.

I like this idea and getting a post office box.

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome to your future, brother. You’re doing the right thing by cutting ties with this woman BEFORE putting the ring on her, assuming you have ever considered that. Take the advice of these gentlemen and DON’T look back. 11.5 years is a long time to be with someone and to not have married at any given point, so good thing you don’t live in a common-law state.

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Akanbi wrote:

Welcome bro.

Your blueprint to freedom is a good one. Make judicious use of it.

Thank you, that’s the plan!

Anonymous wrote:

Welcome home, Elduderino
Beer’s in the fridge.
You are on the right track.
Tips:
1. When you do deliver the news, do it in a public place or at least somewhere with credible witnesses. The reason for this is because she will be angry at you and may lash out. In defense, you may restrain her and she will parley that into a domestic violence charge.
2. After the news is delivered,NEVER let yourself be in a situation where you are alone with her. She can allege whatever she wants and you will be automatically guilty when the cops arrive.
3. No matter how horny you get, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER She can say you raped her and ruin your life. Google the stats on how many men still have sex with their exes after they split.
4. In short, after you deliver the news communicate with her ONLY THROUGH YOUR LAWYER Don’t have one, don’t need one, she would never do that. Do not be fooled, yes she will. Just read some of the other guys’ experiences.
Good Luck

Anonymous wrote:

007 wrote:

I would just leave a goodbye note. It is cold, simple, and too the point. You owe her nothing more.

I like this idea and getting a post office box.

Thanks for the advice. It helps to hear this and think about things I may have overlooked.

I have thought about it, and I have decided that I’m not going to risk breaking up in person. My original plan was to tell her in person and leave, but you guys have convinced me there is no point in taking that risk. I’ll move my stuff when she isn’t there and send a text message.

Anonymous wrote:

Welcome to your future, brother. You’re doing the right thing by cutting ties with this woman BEFORE putting the ring on her, assuming you have ever considered that. Take the advice of these gentlemen and DON’T look back. 11.5 years is a long time to be with someone and to not have married at any given point, so good thing you don’t live in a common-law state.

I decided that marriage and kids were not for me when I was in my early 20’s. I checked the cohabitation laws in my state before I moved into my girlfriend’s house- and I refused to let her move into my house so that it would be an easy exit if I needed to leave. I’m glad I had that foresight now!

Thanks for the advice and encouragement! I will not look back or go back, period.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[AkhilleusParticipant 2486]

Welcome legit set of Bros on this site. Hope everything works out for you on the homefront. Good call coming here.

Aloha means family you don't leave family behind. Who will be the next Draconarius for MGTOW? MGTOW = brothers = acceptance = belonging

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Akhilleus wrote:

Welcome legit set of Bros on this site. Hope everything works out for you on the homefront. Good call coming here.

Thanks man, I’m glad I found this site – it has already been very helpful.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[bladeParticipant]

Welcome bro .
I was just curious and thought you might of been tuna . Just been honest .

Any way f~~~ all that welcome to the party bro

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 5]

She will turn into the Terminator, literally!

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

blade wrote:

Welcome bro .
I was just curious and thought you might of been tuna . Just been honest .

Any way f~~~ all that welcome to the party bro

No worries. I know my post came across as soft. The truth is, I haven’t had any horrible experiences with relationships. Just the general day-to-day s~~~ that comes with dealing with women – so, I’ve never had the red pill rage – but, I am a dude – and I have had enough.

Anonymous wrote:

She will turn into the Terminator, literally!

I’m about to find out…

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

OK, here is my follow-up…

TLDR:
I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend later this week. I decided I needed to get it done – so I broke up with her Tuesday and moved into my new apartment. I talked to her on the phone – so, nothing in person and no incidents. Thanks to everyone for the advice and encouragement!

Long Version:

Monday night I was at the gym. Girlfriend calls me and asks where I am, tells me to get home because she needs to “get off” in the next 15 minutes before she has to leave the house. I tell her I’m on my way home. I get to the house, ready to give her a little finger action so she doesn’t get p~~~y. She wants to f~~~. I know I’m moving out – no way am I going to take the chance of having an accident on the way out. She wouldn’t take the fingers, got up, threw a temper tantrum, and slammed the door behind her when she left the house.

So, Monday night I’m sleeping and she keeps waking me up. Now, she’s rubbing my back – but, I just want to f~~~ing sleep and I’m still p~~~ed about her childish behavior.

I woke up Tuesday morning planning on moving my stuff from my storage locker into my new apartment – then moving fully out of the house later this week. Well, I decided that I need to get this done ASAP. After she went to work, I packed all my s~~~ that was still at the house, got a moving truck, and moved into the apartment.

When I left I did not leave a note or anything. She called when she saw all my stuff was gone and we talked. I told her I moved out and we’re breaking up. She wanted to come to my new place to talk – I said no, obviously. She tried to guilt trip me about not talking things out with her. She talked about money and how she “supported” me for the past several years I have been in school – and, for the record, I worked my way through school and didn’t take a dime from her – I have no idea how she could think that she supported me financially.

Anyway, the two big things that got me were: she asked me to take the dogs and she hinted at suicide. She knows I love those dogs and it was very difficult leaving them – and the suicide thing – nothing p~~~es me off more than emotional manipulation. I’m glad she did it because it’s making the transition to single life a little easier.

I’m not going to lie, it was very difficult to leave. It’s weird, logically I know it had to be done and I am sick of putting up with ridiculous s~~~ – but my instincts are still to make her feel better about the situation.

Anyway, I’m now single and glad the difficult part is over without incident.

Thanks to everyone who gave advice and encouragement – it really helped.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

Its hard for me to support this. And it kind of tugs at the heart strings. Mainly we are so use to being at the other end of the spectrum, that we don’t want to be anything like them.

But then if we could actually put ourselves in your shoes, I bet we would run out like a bat out of hell.

Its sucks, but even now, with all that I have been through, I still have reservations about your actions even though logically, I know that this was best for you.

Its hard to put yourself first. And its even harder going through with it. And then I wonder if we have been so programed to stick around, regardless of what is going on, well at least for me, I feel guilty about it.

But when women do it, its accepted. And no one seems to care about the man who got left.

I wonder if its the heart, or is it programing. I’m still not sure.

I’m glad that you could do it. I wish more men could see what you could.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[SuggestiusParticipant 3312]

If she is honest with you, you could pay back with the same coin.

Happiness for all and let no one be forgotten ("Roadside picnic", Arkady and Boris Strugatsky)

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Welcome El Duderino,

Thanks for introducing yourself and making it a good one. The replies to your intro are great. Cheers to all the MGTOW’’s who contributed to this Introduction.

I recommend this Introduction as a “Favorite.”

It was good to follow you through your whole introduction thread about how you made a clean break. You should be proud of yourself. You are a better man than me.

Here are some thoughts that came up from reading your intro:

In my youth, I was slow to act while getting out of my past “RelationS~~~s.” Even though I could rationally see many reasons to do it, the whole process was painful and I had trouble letting go.

Now I can’t imagine how I lived without my own “man space” and freedom.

My past delays while breaking up cost me a false “Domestic Abuse” charge and a year of being trapped in the Domestic Abuse Court system.

Most woman believe that time spent with a man, especially after five years, is like their retirement investment. When a man breaks up, she believes that he has stolen from her. Women therefore feel justified in retaliating.

Your fine Introduction is a good example of how to make a clean break.

My past behavior was the opposite and I had to pay the consequenses.

RelationS~~~s are a lot like the old story on how to catch a monkey. The trick is that you put a tasty nut/ fruit inside a gourd which happens to be secured with a rope. Once the monkey squeezes his hand into the narrow neck to grabs the nutty goodness, his compulsion to hold onto the nut with his fist will trap him. It is a rare monkey that will let go of the nut in order to escape.

MGTOWs have helped me to realize when I am “holding onto that nut” and provided me with options to release it and escape to freedom. Alas, I treated them badly when I was young, like in the poster below.

It is heartening to read how you got away free and clear.

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[The SavedParticipant 101]

I’m late to the ‘party’ on this one, however I just wanted to say; well done, OP.

My exit strategy was quite similar to yours and I applaud your determination.

Enjoy your freedom, don’t look back and be resilient.

Welcome.

"A man's feelings are inconvenient to a woman's needs".

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

The Manipulated Man wrote:

Most woman believe that time spent with a man, especially after five years, is like their retirement investment. When a man breaks up, she believes that he has stolen from her. Women therefore feel justified in retaliating.

Thanks for the kind words. I quoted part of your post because it rings very true in my case. I knew my ex was looking for some kind of future benefit, but after we broke up she came right out and said that she has supported me and that I owe her. I’ll write more in a follow-up post.

The Saved wrote:

I’m late to the ‘party’ on this one, however I just wanted to say; well done, OP.

My exit strategy was quite similar to yours and I applaud your determination.

Enjoy your freedom, don’t look back and be resilient.

Welcome.

Thank you. I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t been easy emotionally, but after this last week, I know there is no going back into a relationship – ever.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

Follow Up:

So, it’s been 5 days and here is what has happened… my ex texted me and told me that she understands why I left and apologized for some things. She asked me if there is a chance we could get back together – I said no.

Then, the ex told me that the way I left was really s~~~ty and that she was making plans to go back to school and now those plans are ruined because I wont be there to support her financially like she supported me (she did not support me financially, but somehow now thinks she has).

Then, she texted that she was going to commit suicide. And here is where things get f~~~ing crazy.

I wanted to cut off all contact, but couldn’t take the chance she was serious. I realize this is probably a way to get me engaged and emotionally tied up and is probably not serious. I called one of her family members and told her what my ex wrote and said that they need to get in touch with my ex and call the police.

The family member told me that the ex told them she needed spinal fusion surgery and there was a chance she would die – so she did a quitclaim deed and signed the house over to a family member and also signed over her car- just in case. This should have been a huge red-flag to her family, but apparently it wasn’t.

The family member called the police, then called me back and said they found her and she is safe.

I hope she isn’t serious about killing herself, but if she is serious, I can’t stop her. If she isn’t, then that kind of emotional manipulation can’t be tolerated.

I wish I could change my phone number, but we know too many of the same people – she’ll get it if she wants. And, she knows where I work and go to school – if she forces the issue, she could show up in person, and I would much rather deal with things on the phone and keep her at a distance. Any advice is very much welcome!

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

[MeisterParticipant 2093]

Keymaster wrote:

Hello ElDuderino, and welcome to the forums.

El Duderino wrote:

Still, the “compromises” and obligations that come with a relationship aren’t nearly worth the cost.

Perfectly understood.

Radio personality Tom Leykis has been married four times. In his No Compromise! episode, he said out loud exactly what I had been thinking for many years….

“I have tossed out the idea that compromising is required to make a relationship work. If you have to compromise who you are – in any way – you’re with the WRONG PERSON. And maybe there is no right person….”

El Duderino wrote:

minimize the fallout from the break up

El Duderino wrote:

I’m not sure what to expect from her-

This I tell you from experience…. if you really don’t know what to expect and she’s that unpredictable and you sense she may lash out destructively , take certain steps to make her want to end it.

“Feign Beta”.
Become a turn off.

Become the groveling, pathetic blue pill beta boy women can’t stand. The one that makes her sick. The one that showers her in comments like “you’re the reason I breathe”, too many “I love you’s” etc., and it may even inspire her to cheat. She will be more likely to feel sorry for you. Allow yourself to come off as a sad case loser and let her believe it. Thats the idea. Even better if you tell her you have no money, you’re broke and you lost your job.

Use your creative imagination here.
Encourage her to plan her departure.

When she breaks it off or “needs to talk”, act all devastated and maybe even shed a tear. *Sniff*.

^^^This.

Excellent advice!!

If out of ideas become a total loser.

Needy, clingy, sad.

Don’t shower, dress bad, smell worse.

Be bad in bed!

Make her break up with you!

Monk

[MeisterParticipant 2093]

El Duderino wrote:

Follow Up:

So, it’s been 5 days and here is what has happened… my ex texted me and told me that she understands why I left and apologized for some things. She asked me if there is a chance we could get back together – I said no.

Then, the ex told me that the way I left was really s~~~ty and that she was making plans to go back to school and now those plans are ruined because I wont be there to support her financially like she supported me (she did not support me financially, but somehow now thinks she has).

Then, she texted that she was going to commit suicide. And here is where things get f~~~ing crazy.

I wanted to cut off all contact, but couldn’t take the chance she was serious. I realize this is probably a way to get me engaged and emotionally tied up and is probably not serious. I called one of her family members and told her what my ex wrote and said that they need to get in touch with my ex and call the police.

The family member told me that the ex told them she needed spinal fusion surgery and there was a chance she would die – so she did a quitclaim deed and signed the house over to a family member and also signed over her car- just in case. This should have been a huge red-flag to her family, but apparently it wasn’t.

The family member called the police, then called me back and said they found her and she is safe.

I hope she isn’t serious about killing herself, but if she is serious, I can’t stop her. If she isn’t, then that kind of emotional manipulation can’t be tolerated.

I wish I could change my phone number, but we know too many of the same people – she’ll get it if she wants. And, she knows where I work and go to school – if she forces the issue, she could show up in person, and I would much rather deal with things on the phone and keep her at a distance. Any advice is very much welcome!

Should’ve listened to keymaster!

Too late now.

Now even I start feeling bad for your ex.

And for f~~~ sake:
Rescue the dogs!!!!!

Monk

[El DuderinoParticipant 38]

That would have been a good way to go, but a bit too late for me.

"The Dude abides." ~ The Dude

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