In Need of More Veteran Advice

[BalthazarParticipant 722]

I’m currently awaiting my first appearance in family court where i have petitioned for joint custody and the primary custodian. It’s been seemingly long road with this child c~~~, but the lawyer says that I’m basically guaranteed legal custody and the real fight will be over distribution of time.

I’ve tried really hard to not escalate or create outright confrontation. I have however endured all sorts of stupid bulls~~~ from child c~~~. I try to keep communication to a minimum but i can’t help being stirred up sometimes. it’s f~~~ing difficult to hear or read the inane babbling of a fool that has no idea what they’re talking about when it’s in regard to your child.

how did any of you guys get over the ego battle with dumb c~~~ and truly focus all of your concern on your child?

This body holding me is a reminder of my own mortality. Embrace this moment. Remember, we are eternal and all this pain is an illusion.

[HitmanParticipant]

ok.
i went through it .
what happened to me was typical.
was very mad at being betrayed.
the ugly texts were forwarded to both lawyers ,
i was told same as her,
one more angry/threatening text and it would be a harassment charge.
so it stopped.
back up the texts with an app that stores them in to your e-mail.
and get this through your head bro,
ITS NOT ABOUT YOU .
it’s about the CHILD.
.
you have to get to the point that you can forgive her .
it’s a process.
just be civil .
no more than that is required.
be civil.
being civil in a divorce

please open and read !

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

I can’t be bothered with forgiving my ex. I stick to the No Contact Rule as much as possible.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[HitmanParticipant]

no contact as much as possible.
but when you have no choice and have to see her,
my point is to be civil.
forgiveness is optional.
i still can’t completely forgive her,
but some is better than none.
..it was poisoning ME to hold so much anger ,
i don’t live with ms. crazy anymore,
but i always live with myself.

[Anonymous 42]

No entiendo amigo!!!

[HitmanParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

No entiendo amigo!!!

awesome !!!
CLASSIC TOWER !
i needed that .
gracias !

[bladeParticipant]

It f~~~s me up talking about it at times .

Use words like …would YOU like me to .

Do you WANT me to .

All words that give her the illusion of control that she desires . Remember it is about your kid and you are a man which is automatically makes you a c~~~ .

Drama = attention . Refuse to play by not playing . Shd calls you a f~~~ing c~~~ don’t acknowledge she said it . Keep conversation small and simple . If she see’s she can upset you it is a emotional win for her .

Example ….. YOUR NOT SEEING YOUT KID THIS WEEKEND YOU C~~~ . BLA BLA BLA . You say ok if you need me just give me a call . Don’t even show a sign on your face your upset .

Here is one i use with the ex wonder c~~~ …. You are like my sister now but difference is we got kids …. ( feal like puking ) It is now at the point were if she speaks about the kids to me i will say are you going ok .. lol .. and f~~~ is she telling me s~~~ . So now i am in the loop to whats going on because i she considers like a brother and asked even for advice sometimes .

By society and law woman are the master . Its not about fighting them . IT IS HOW YOU NAVAGATE WITH THEM .

If you win your court case that will be awsome and very rarely that happens . Just don’t hold to high hopes just in case . Lawyers and family court industry are about money not kids . Research your self on laws as well but don’t consume yourself . Allocate say half hour or so a day . But always give you time with a stroll every day and clear your head . Don’t self medicate in this time with drugs and alcohol . DONT .

CHECK your telecommunications act in your country . Back when i did this the law on this was current at the time …..It was illegal to record a call if the device is inserted or connected to the phone … I used a video camera to record calls . So with your modern phone now put it on speaker and record away showing the phone nuber on your phone that it is hers as well . DO not coherse her into saying s~~~ . Then load it onto a disk for court . BUT i strongly advise researching your telecommunications act of your country . Good luck bro .

Ps . Never question your child . They will remember as they get older . My kids do from there mother . Even down to been preped for the family report .

Never trjst family court industry
I was prepped at end of my trail that my children were comming back to me . I have to leave it there because it is just to painful

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[HitmanParticipant]

blade wrote:

Its not about fighting them . IT IS HOW YOU NAVAGATE WITH THEM .

BINGO !

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Keep in mind that it is in the best interest of your child if you are civil to the mother.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[,Participant 1301]

my youngest was 17 1/2 when She filed. I had six months of child support.
I went to the court ordered Parent Counseling. She did not.
The court didn’t care a bit.

Stay civil always. Its a legal process now. Nothing more.
and it gets better for you. honest it will.

with joy/without hate

[Author]

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