In need of advise

[SuperBeeParticipant 65]

(Sorry for my English)

New member here and absolutely fascinated.
Trying to read as much posts as I can.
I need your valuable advice gentlemen.

Most posts about divorces are cases where the guy wants to walk away and seeks for advice and suggestions.
But what about the other cases?

Cases like mine….where I didn’t want a divorce.
All of a sudden, my wife demanded a divorce.
She accused me that I don’t love her anymore, don’t care about her, take her for granted etc. etc. and all this stuff date back 5 years at least.

She struggled a lot to overcome these problems but I wouldn’t listen and I did care only about myself. That it was useless to try to save our marriage, because she doesn’t feel anything about me…and this is something nobody can change.
And me, on the other side…not having the slightest clue of what was going on. I lived on a cloud, convinced that everything was fine between us.

To make a long story short in only 2 months, I left the house, with 2 children leaving behind…moving to an apartment and confronting the absolute loneliness after 16 years of marriage. She made me believe…that all this happened because of my arrogance.
But…guess what…only 3 weeks ago I found out that all this (ok…most of it) was BS…because she had already a new boyfriend and was cheating on me.Yes…I searched her e-mails and found out things I wish I never did.
But even after confronting her with that information she had the rudeness to tell me that it was my fault and practically I put her in the other guy’s hands!!!

So how do you overcome such a situation?
I still can’t believe that the person with which I spent 16 years and had 2 children did something like that to me.

I just can’t get her out of my head…I remember only the good times and she occupies 20 hours a day my thoughts.

Normally I should hate her and be lucky I got rid of her…but I still feel that she is my wife and everything remembers her.

How can I leave her behind and start a new life?

Life turns on a dime

[Anonymous 42]

SuperBee wrote:

I still can’t believe that the person with which I spent 16 years and had 2 children did something like that to me.

She didn’t do anything to anyone she’s a woman and women only CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES!

Do the SAME without SHAME and start caring only ABOUT YOURSELF!

Throw her in LIFE’S TRASHCAN, GAME OVER!

You need to harden up there buttercup…

P.S. Beautiful Avatar! 440 magnum with a 6 pack!

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

You invested time, effort, energy and emotion believing in the validity of the system…i.e these things had value to the other person. Surprise they never meant anything she simply accepted your investiture until something better came along. Its called hypergamy.

Yes my friend they really ARE that incredibly superficial and shallow.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Just know there are plenty of men here who have been through what you have, almost word for word. I am one of them.

There is no way to avoid the pain it causes, but you need to realize it was all her fault. She choose to cheat, to lie and to leave. She could have handled this a thousand different ways but she choose the path, and that is not your fault. Why she did this is past now. What matters is what you need to do going forward.

If you have children together and you want to see them, then you will have to see her too, like it or not. This means you have to get over her as fast as you can. Get as strong and mentally healthy as fast as you can. I say this because the mind f~~~s she will reign on you from here forward are just starting. You will need your wits to protect yourself and your kids.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

You were just a resource.

It takes time. Being thrown out all alone takes adjusting.

The key is to work on yourself. Find things your interested in like running, biking. Books you like to read. It is like going back to being a teenager but with maturity.

Peace brothers

[Oz-BlokeParticipant 3233]

SuperBee wrote:

She made me believe…that all this happened because of my arrogance. But…guess what…only 3 weeks ago I found out that all this (ok…most of it) was BS…because she had already a new boyfriend and was cheating on me

Typical blame shift – the guilty party does it to try and save face with family, friends and their own guilty conscience. You were force-fed the red pill by her actions but believe me, the rage phase will pass and you will find yourself in a much more calmer, zen place.
.

.
The bitter truth is that there is no Western World law stating that two adults have to stay in a relationship or stay married. Either party can up and leave at any time – they don’t even need a reason. It is just how it is, despite all the BS social programming about marriage ‘contracts’, marriage vows and life-partners. But there are laws about paying alimony, child support and ‘splitting the sheets’ in divorce. That’s just how it is.

I see this time-and-time again, especially when the kids are teenagers or about to leave home. As the walking-wallet father you have served your purpose in financing her egg-fertilization and feathering the nest for the majority of the kids upbringing. With the kids about the fly-the-coup, the c~~~-carousel beckons to her and you are no longer seen as ‘fun’, despite all the time, love and money you have invested into the family unit. Stay strong and talk it out with good mates – the really good mates will understand and lend an ear.
.

#ManOut

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Been were you are and not too long ago.

What country/state do you live in? Does your wife have a job? Assets? How old are your children – I assume they are minors? You seriously need to consider getting an attorney ASAP.

I am in California. I have two young children. Recently went thru very similar bulls~~~ that you are going through now. I was devastated. Read my intro in the introductions.

As for myself I am avidly involved in my children’s lives. I know for certain that without me being consistently in their lives they would be hosed. I am the only one in their lives who can show my children what true, unconditionally love is, what honor, trust and respect and integrity are.

Take great care of yourself so that you can be a great parent to your children. Message me directly anytime.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[HitmanParticipant]

My ex stabbed me in the back too.
Time will help to heal the wounds.
The problem started when I TRUSTED her….Women lie like fish swim. .
Time to live for yourself and the kids. .
Never ever ever consider going back to her.
Start new.
It’s about YOU now! !!

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

You might want to google “borderline personality disorder” and/or cluster B personality disorders. You might find some eye opening and useful information there as well.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[SolidusXParticipant 854]

SuperBee wrote:

(Sorry for my English)

Cases like mine….where I didn’t want a divorce.
All of a sudden, my wife demanded a divorce.
She accused me that I don’t love her anymore, don’t care about her, take her for granted etc. etc. and all this stuff date back 5 years at least.

This is a typical response from a woman, she more than likely was already starting to cheat on you for whatever reason small or big (I literally had a bitch that said I did not care for her because I did not provide a new loaf of bread for her in the fridge even though she was supposed to take care of her own food) and is prepared to dump years of marriage for nothing. This is the one of the ultimate betrayals in my book to which all feelings I had for her go out the door. It does sound like you are hurt but at this point you need to become rock hard and stand your ground, do not try to go back to that sloooor at all.

SuperBee wrote:

To make a long story short in only 2 months, I left the house, with 2 children leaving behind…moving to an apartment and confronting the absolute loneliness after 16 years of marriage.

I would never let any woman kick me out of my house if it has my name on it, and if its a shared place where both our names are on it I still would not leave. I would be careful to record all my dealings with this woman as most bitches will try to claim abuse and rape, so make sure you have that recorder handy at all times. I would also tell the kids exactly what was going on as the woman will no doubt try to sway them to her side.

SuperBee wrote:

So how do you overcome such a situation?
I still can’t believe that the person with which I spent 16 years and had 2 children did something like that to me.

I just can’t get her out of my head…I remember only the good times and she occupies 20 hours a day my thoughts.

Normally I should hate her and be lucky I got rid of her…but I still feel that she is my wife and everything remembers her.

How can I leave her behind and start a new life?

This can be a tough as it does play on your emotions, but you have to be a hard ass mother f~~~er at this stage. Cut off the feelings as sure as s~~~ she has early on and does not care to f~~~s about you now. I would move to divorce asap this slooor asap and get her ass out of your life. Get a lawyer, get a plan of action to get her out the door, figure out your kids asap, and do not tell her anything about what you are doing, keep all contact between you and the woman through the lawyer, and record everything she is doing or whatever communication she has with you. Woman can be shifty and put on the poutey face to get what they want and most men and our court systems will bend over backwards for them.

It will be hard brother, it sounds like you still have feelings for her but bury that s~~~ for now and stay strong!

Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit

[Nathan R. JessepParticipant 1102]

SuperBee wrote:

To make a long story short in only 2 months, I left the house, with 2 children leaving behind…moving to an apartment and confronting the absolute loneliness after 16 years of marriage. She made me believe…that all this happened because of my arrogance.
But…guess what…only 3 weeks ago I found out that all this (ok…most of it) was BS…because she had already a new boyfriend and was cheating on me.Yes…I searched her e-mails and found out things I wish I never did.
But even after confronting her with that information she had the rudeness to tell me that it was my fault and practically I put her in the other guy’s hands!!!

Reading your story I knew this was coming. And of course it’s your fault, women can never take responsibility.

[Anonymous 43]

p~~~ on women.

be happy you have freedom. Last night I washed and waxed my car without interruption. It was wonderful not having someone tell me what to do and how to do it. Tonight, I am blowing off some work crap and playing world of tanks, making people around the world miserable with a KV2 laughing my ass off eating ice cream.

Somewhere, the c~~~ ex wife is enraged that I am having a good time and she cant mess with me. Prolly kicking her dog and breaking dishes, then falling to the floor in a massive pile of tears rolling down her wall ravaged face.

lolololololololololololololololololololol

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

It is an ass kicker & ball buster, as other men have said, I too encourage you to get your emotions under control asap.

It’s a tall order, but you want to be as mentally clear as f~~~ing possible with all this.

Going through my 2nd divorce damn near destroyed me. Jail time along with a ton of other s~~~ went down, before the divorce was finalized & I finally got back my life.

Getting your life back and as already shared, embracing your freedom & focusing on yourself is top priority.

Sorry to hear it man, it sucks going through all that s~~~, but it does get better… a lot f~~~ing better.

[SuperBeeParticipant 65]

Thanks a lot guys for the replies
It’s good to know that others have gone through the shame s~~~ and are ok or even better now.(HOPE)
I know what I have to do and how I am supposed to act, but the question is HOW to find the strength and courage to accomplish such a difficult task.
I mean, I’m watching my kids playing in the playground and instead of enjoying the picture, my mind is focused that at the f~~~ing same time, some other guy is f~~~ing the brains out of my ex.
Thats really difficult to swallow.

Life turns on a dime

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

SuperBee wrote:

I mean, I’m watching my kids playing in the playground and instead of enjoying the picture, my mind is focused that at the f~~~ing same time, some other guy is f~~~ing the brains out of my ex.
Thats really difficult to swallow.

I know man, I know.The betrayal and all the time & energy you have invested, the pain is a motherf~~~er.

Along with what Redpillbible posted, me doing that as well as the video below, helped a lot. Of course, I did not know about this info while I went through my hell. God, how I wished I would have though.

Along with being here on this site. Even though my divorce happened many years before I found home here, it has & is still helping me in recovery & rebuilding & repairing myself.

I hope that it will do the same for you as well.

[SuperBeeParticipant 65]

How to find strength and courage you say??? You know what helps me in my most darkest hours always, is praying to God, Jesus Christ dad, that guy. I recommend you go somewhere in private and have a conversation with him(pray), but do it all the time from now on, he will renew your strength and give you courage, and hope. You think Im crazy? Go ask him.

No, I don’t think you are crazy.
Absolutelly no.
Maybe I’m not the most religious guy,but I often kneel down and pray.

Life turns on a dime

[SuperBeeParticipant 65]

Phantom wrote:

Thanks for the video.
Unfortunatelly I have to watch it at home,beeing at work right now.

Life turns on a dime

[SuperBeeParticipant 65]

Back in Black wrote:

Message me directly anytime.

Unfortunatelly I’ don’t have an option to send messages to other users.
Maybe because I’m using the “free version” of MGTOW.

massivetdm850 at gmail dot com is my email though.

Life turns on a dime

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

SuperBee wrote:

Thanks a lot guys for the replies
It’s good to know that others have gone through the shame s~~~ and are ok or even better now.(HOPE)
I know what I have to do and how I am supposed to act, but the question is HOW to find the strength and courage to accomplish such a difficult task.
I mean, I’m watching my kids playing in the playground and instead of enjoying the picture, my mind is focused that at the f~~~ing same time, some other guy is f~~~ing the brains out of my ex.
Thats really difficult to swallow.

What you love is the woman in your mind, not the bitch out there.

The women in your mind will not do the evil stuff the bitch did. Dump the evil bitch, she have no connection with the women in your mind.
Why do you care about what a random evil bitch is doing? The women you love is long gone, keep the happy memories and move on.

For the long term, kill the TV and social media. They are propaganda to condition you to have a slave mentality. You will feel restless without a master.

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[Buller100Participant 2189]

It’s normal to feel how you do, society trained us.

Focus on getting the best financial deal, see the children all the comments the guys have written are right, women use men simple as that .

In time the jigsaw pieces fall into place, don’t beat yourself up.

As said read the manipulated man, it’s incredible.

[Author]

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