I'm coming to the conclusion that my mom is EVIL. I'm so sad. Help?

[BlueToRedSpectator 23]

So I told my mom last week that I don’t want to talk to her anymore as she only causes problems in my life. I told her this on the phone and then added specifically that I do not want any calls, messages or emails from her. But sure enough, I got an email the next day:

 

I spoke to a counselor about your resentment and disgust against me. There is something called  parent alienation   ( there’s a lot of nonsense about it on the net don’t need to read that) In the west it happens in divorce  cases where one parent brainwashes a son or daughter against the other parent. Here, because of its backwardness, it mostly happens within families which are intact  but where one parent is belittled and held in contempt by the entire family (normally the mother).

So if there is a continuous attempt to malign or belittle one person ( mother) by a family, ( as you have been exposed to all your life)

1. </span>The children often join subconsciously in the vilification . </span>

2. </span>Then they develop <b>their very own set of vilifications</b> against the alienated parent .</span>

3. </span>They often include other members of that parents family in their disparagement </span>

4. </span>And they feel perfectly justified, with NO regret or remorse  in vilifying or abusing that parent. </span>

You are an adult; you can either think about it, and rise above it, or join the pack, and alienate me forever and lose much of the magic  you were brought up with .

P S. No need to respond.

 

A little background on my life with her. Ever since I’ve been a kid I’ve been told that my dad’s family was horrible/wretched/backward and how they always oppressed my feminist mother, who only wanted equality. i was very protective of her and hated my dad’s entire family. Even my dad because of all the stories of mistreatment I had been fed. Though I never saw him mistreat her, but the other way around quite a lot. If you have any questions please feel free to ask.

 

Did you notice the PS “no need” at the end? What a bitch. My response in the next post.

[BlueToRedSpectator 23]

My response:

Your analysis is wrong. You have to own up. I actually always supported you and stood up for you. Felt protective of my seemingly wronged mother. The reasons I want nothing to do with you are:

– Physically abused me regularly till I was 18. After I finally pushed you away, you learned not to mess with me, but started again recently. Make no mistake if you do it again I will not hesitate to break your face.

– Screamed at me regularly, sometimes hurting my ears. Beat your head against the wall, broke furniture, regularly cried hysterically

– Told me I’m completely mad, schizophrenic, crazy, paranoid, told me I have issues, made up a faulty egg theory that kept on changing itself to suit your devilish needs

– Trained me to be obedient. If I didn’t live up to your abusive expectations you would shame and guilt me… I felt it because I was too used to being treated like an inferior. You never treated me like an adult or a grown up and never allowed me to be one around you, even if I tried. You don’t respect me on basic, adult levels.

– You emotionally blackmailed me.

– Lies and instead of owning up to it, used it to support your crazy making and guilt me for calling my mother a liar. Haha, it’s funny HOW MUCH control you had over me. And sickening. Lied to other people. Involved them unnecessarily. Tarnished my relationships with them.

– Never kept secrets I trusted you with

– Discounting me, silent treatment, talking over me, making it sound as if I’m not letting you speak when I was the one who asked for the chance, saying that I always do this or never do that, saying that I’ll continue talking if you don’t interrupt or talk over me. Comparing me to wife beaters. All sorts of false accusations.

– When I told you this day would come, you acted like it was JUST FINE!

I’m sure there are more, but I can’t remember all that now. You have NO EXCUSE to treat me this way. If you think you do, that’s fine. I expect you to justify yourself. But I could care less what you think. At one level I don’t love you at all. In fact, at one level you disgust me. But at another I’ll always love you because you’re my mom and a great friend at times.

This kind of relationship is what some call “toxic”. I have no faith or trust in you that you won’t do any of the things mentioned above again. In fact I’m confident that you will do exactly those things repeatedly till kingdom come.

I’ll miss you, but it’s for the best. I need to save myself from you. Have fun being psychologically superior at manipulation….. seems like that’s what you care about the most. This chapter in life is OVER. No matter how desperately you try and recover it because remember, it’s a two way street and I decide whether I want to be a part of it or not.

I don’t. Goodbye and good riddance!

[BlueToRedSpectator 23]

Her final response –

 

its your choice. its like a record stuck in your mind. It is false and i will not accept the vilification and guilt anymore. You love to remember ONLY the few bad things. Repeat them over and over and over and over and over and over ad infinitum ad nauseum till  they become HUGE an overshadow everything. Sad for you and me.Have a good trip. Forget me.

 

This has left me a little shaken. Let me tell you that my mother KNOWS what p~~~es me off. She can manipulate me with ease. She has total control over me. And now she has left me feeling guilty, ashamed, small, crazy etc…………………………… Is she right? HELP?? All my allegations are true btw. I’m not a liar :/

 

All I want to do now on some SICK level is go and say MOM I’M SO SORRY I’M SUCH AN IDIOT> PLZ FORGIVE ME!! >> I AM DELUSIONAL AND I NEED HELP. I AM MAD. YOU’RE RIGHT. IT’S ALL MY FAULT!! YOU ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR ME. I PROMISE I’LL GET HELP FOR MY ISSUES………………..

 

But you know what? All that she did will remain. The truth will remain. She’s a manipulative bitch. I know it, my instinct tells me what a piece of s~~~ she is. And that’s what’s keeping me from saying the above.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Why are you even reading anything from her? Doesn’t your email system have mail filters? Have everything from her tagged as spam and deleted before it even hits your in box. You can tell her of that if you want, but I wouldn’t bother. She is clearly never going to recognize or accept any responsibility for her actions. She will always blame you or your family or some new psychobabble or whatever to avoid accepting responsibility. Logic and reason and honesty, not to mention introspection and self awareness, are clearly not part of her mental tool kit, and that’s not something you can fix. Maybe in the distant future when she is old and alone and wants something from you she might outwardly change her ways, but that is not your problem any more.

Keep going your own way.

Edit: Oh, and sorry to hear about that whole mess, too. If it’s any consolation, from what I’ve read none of this is in any way your fault. Or your responsibility.

[a bananaParticipant 288]

Thats some twisted emotional manipulation, you need to just move on and stop talking to her for good. It seems apparent she wants you to see her as a victim.. just give up on her is my opinion. Good luck

[TheBardParticipant 974]

Don’t feel bad since you didn’t do anything wrong. She is the wrong who brought this on herself by telling lies. I am going through the same thing with my mom now. She is lying to her divorce lawyer and making things difficult for my sister, dad, and myself. She could possibly screw me over if she gets her way in court. What is worse both her and my dad are responsible for ruining 2 major things in my life which they don’t even know about. At least my dad is trying to make up for it but my is just being a pain. I would cut my mom out completely but the only reason I haven’t is because she is on my checking account and I want her off so she can’t take money when she gets mad at me. I told her I wanted her off because I am older and it should only be me on there but she keeps making excuses that she hasn’t had time to go to bank of america since there isn’t one close by. My mom raised me more since she stayed home while my dad worked so it feels hard to hate her but with what she is doing I can’t just continue to like her as if nothing has happened. My mom is also trying to play victim too, but a lot of things aren’t adding up. It may be hard to cut her off, but don’t stay around so she can continue to abuse you.

[experiencedParticipant]

Friend, you’ve a serious vulnerability that must be addressed. A day or decade from now, a woman will attempt to arrive in your life who has the same non- erasable metal tapes of an abusive upbringing in her very core. Steer clear of her, otherwise, the sex will be indescribable, unreal, the most intense……. You are extremely susceptible to being ……..words can’t describe how overwhelmingly and completely you could be taken by her. Breaking it off would be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, if you are even able to do it.   Again, people raised in abusive families misidentify abuse as love. they are like the lab rats who keep pressing the bar to get an intermittent jolt of electricity  LONG AFTER the intermittent food was dropped, you see they “know” (quite incorrectly) that the shock means more food is arriving soon.. It’s called “working for shocks” in the hope of the food pellet, in the hope of love.

When she arrives, steer clear of her.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Anonymous 42]

@blue‘ta’red, my grandmother on my father’s side was just like that, she died a bitter old woman, had nothing but insults for my father, and us kids too, she always told us kids, her grandchildren, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”, never had anything nice to say. My father left home at 17 and went into the USAF, He was much better off, and made a life for himself. She had permafrost wrinkles on her face, not the kind of wrinkles a happy and joyful person person has when they die. Your assumption of a “toxic” relationship is true and accurate…..

[natsarim.mgtowParticipant 17]

my mother taught me to f~~~, my father taught me to fight, when they died, divorced and separated near 50 yrs. i buried them side by side.
Stand no longer with one leg in yesterday and the other in tomorrow, p~~~ing on today.
Stop Fighting Back, Just Warn the Young Men.

[Sky-OParticipant 18934]

I had a relationship with my mother that had similar emotional and psychological dynamics. Then I found and read a book called ‘Children of the Self-Absorbed: Understanding the Narcissistic Parent’ and it helped me process the effects of my mother’s behavior on my own life as well as relieve myself of some of the inherent guilt I carried with me for a period of two decades related to her issues and disordered behavior.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Children-Self-Absorbed-Grown-Ups-Getting-Narcissistic/dp/1572245611/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427831752&sr=8-1&keywords=Children+of+the+Self+Absorbed

[VoidraitheParticipant 477]

 

I empathize because it appears to be a real s~~~ storm. She is definitely twisting the screws on you with the passive aggressive guilt trip: “Have a good trip. Forget me.” I can assure you, she is emotionally devastated you’d turn away from her after 18 years of her programming and her counter-strike is to try and subject you to the same emotional devastation. Essentially you dropped an emotional nuke on her with your response and all she could do was the emotional equivalent of mutually assured destruction.

You are your own person, I suggest cutting all ties for as long as you feel is needed then see if time has changed her tune. If not EJECT!

[BlueToRedSpectator 23]

Thanks a lot everyone for your replies! But honestly, I would really appreciate it if you could read the conversation and give me feedback. It’s not that I’m not interested in your stories, it’s that I’m in a bit of a rut right now and could really use some insight for my personal situation.

 

BTW a family member I visited yesterday called her on skype. He wasn’t aware of the situation, and my mom acted like she was super excited to see me. WTF????????????????????????? She’s killing me really. I don’t want to see her f~~~ing face or hear her f~~~ing voice. BITCH! btw she has been trying to prove that I’m crazy for year now, but everybody in the family knows that she’s the one. But her opinion matters so much to me that I start believing her. lol, IKR?

 

Voidraithe wrote:

I empathize because it appears to be a real s~~~ storm. She is definitely twisting the screws on you with the passive aggressive guilt trip: “Have a good trip. Forget me.” I can assure you, she is emotionally devastated you’d turn away from her after 18 years of her programming and her counter-strike is to try and subject you to the same emotional devastation. Essentially you dropped an emotional nuke on her with your response and all she could do was the emotional equivalent of mutually assured destruction. You are your own person, I suggest cutting all ties for as long as you feel is needed then see if time has changed her tune. If not EJECT!

Are you sure she’s emotionally nuked? If she was, she would own up and beg for forgiveness. Instead of calling me a psycho and doing all that s~~~ AGAIN. I think she has a really cold heart and she’s just pulling strings. “Your choice”….. she wants to make it seem as if she did nothing and I’m a psycho, ungrateful bastard who deserves to feel guilty and ashamed. Can you help me get things into perspective so that I diffuse the nuke?

BTW 22 years not 18 !

 

sidecar wrote:

Why are you even reading anything from her? Doesn’t your email system have mail filters? Have everything from her tagged as spam and deleted before it even hits your in box. You can tell her of that if you want, but I wouldn’t bother. She is clearly never going to recognize or accept any responsibility for her actions. She will always blame you or your family or some new psychobabble or whatever to avoid accepting responsibility. Logic and reason and honesty, not to mention introspection and self awareness, are clearly not part of her mental tool kit, and that’s not something you can fix. Maybe in the distant future when she is old and alone and wants something from you she might outwardly change her ways, but that is not your problem any more. Keep going your own way. Edit: Oh, and sorry to hear about that whole mess, too. If it’s any consolation, from what I’ve read none of this is in any way your fault. Or your responsibility.

Cuz deep down in my heart, I have a feeling that she may be right. I have been gaslit for years and made to feel crazy by her on more than 50-100 occasions. It has started to get to me. If I don’t talk to her, she’ll spoil my name in the whole family and turn them against. Then again, I want nothing to do with those family members who believe her…. right? And it’s not like the family doesn’t know she’s a psycho bitch.

 

Also, I guess I’m not being honest or truly logical either. I’m sure she will change her ways outwardly soon and save her face. Because THAT’S WHAT SHE’S BEST AT!! But she doesn’t care about her saving her face for me. She doesn’t care if I see her abusing me. Because there’s always a justification!!

 

experienced wrote:

Friend, you’ve a serious vulnerability that must be addressed. A day or decade from now, a woman will attempt to arrive in your life who has the same non- erasable metal tapes of an abusive upbringing in her very core. Steer clear of her, otherwise, the sex will be indescribable, unreal, the most intense……. You are extremely susceptible to being ……..words can’t describe how overwhelmingly and completely you could be taken by her. Breaking it off would be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, if you are even able to do it. Again, people raised in abusive families misidentify abuse as love. they are like the lab rats who keep pressing the bar to get an intermittent jolt of electricity LONG AFTER the intermittent food was dropped, you see they “know” (quite incorrectly) that the shock means more food is arriving soon.. It’s called “working for shocks” in the hope of the food pellet, in the hope of love. When she arrives, steer clear of her.

 

I think you’re absolutely right. What exactly is that vulnerability and how can I completely destroy it? Don’t tell me it’s non-ereasable. I mean, anything is possible right? I am willing to go to the end of the earth to do this. You’re absolutely right again. FML.

[BlueToRedSpectator 23]

bump?

[Anonymous 5]

Bro I went through that X10 its going to be rough at first – than you’ll kick ass and they will FEAR you just like the MGTOW Jet you will fly.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

BlueToRed wrote:

Cuz deep down in my heart, I have a feeling that she may be right.

Well she’s not. Stop feeling with your heart and start thinking with your brain. Everything you’ve said about her tells me she’s an incredibly manipulative toxic person. You are not the problem.

I have been gaslit for years and made to feel crazy by her on more than 50-100 occasions. It has started to get to me.

All the more reason to cut off all contact with her entirely. Stop reading her e-mails. Spam filter them. Stop taking her calls. Block her number. Stop seeing her in person. Ever. Don’t give her any way in.

You need to disconnect cold turkey to dry out from the manipulative pressure she’s put you under all these years. the longer you go without her influence the more you will see what a worthless, negative influence it is on your life.

If I don’t talk to her, she’ll spoil my name in the whole family and turn them against. Then again, I want nothing to do with those family members who believe her…. right? And it’s not like the family doesn’t know she’s a psycho bitch.

I never said to cut off contact with your other family members. On the contrary, you should probably be in even more contact with them, especially the ones who also know how harmful she is, and especially especially any that might be on the fence. At the very least it is probably a good idea to send them all a message telling them exactly why you are cutting off all contact with your mother, especially before she starts making up self serving stories to tell them. Don’t try to convince them to your side of things, and especially don’t try to convince them to cut her off as well, just clearly explain your reasons for cutting her off and let them make their own decisions. Chances are they’ll see the truth of your words and support you. It sounds like a lot of them are halfway to cutting her off themselves.

But she doesn’t care about her saving her face for me. She doesn’t care if I see her abusing me. Because there’s always a justification!!

But that’s not a problem for you ever again after you cut her completely out of your life.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Blue,
I’m 48 years old. In 1990 (before you were born) I was in the exact same situation with my mother, for many of the same reasons, at almost exactly the same age as you are now. A book I stumbled onto called “Toxic Parents” by Susan Forward help to open my eyes to the pathology I was saturated with in my relationship with my mother. The book may be out of print now, but if you google “toxic parents”, there will most certainly be others that will tell you the same thing. Once you get insight into the pathology for what it is, it becomes much easier to extract from. Until then, it’s difficult because being the first person most people spend any social time with after being born, the interaction with a mother is what becomes the benchmark of normal by which other/later interactions are evaluated. If she’s screwed up from the beginning, she can stay screwed up for years and it’ll be tough for you to judge how screwed up she is.

What is happening here does not sound like parental vilification. It sounds like parent went so far with her abuse that even a kid with a mis-calibrated perception of abuse still figured it out and walked away from it.

What I will tell you is that there is nothing wrong with you, other than that you probably got one of the worst parents possible… aside from mine. Mine did not willingly cooperate with my decision to abandon her either, nor did she ever willingly acknowledge the felonious things she did that inspired it. But she does not do those things to me anymore. She does not get the chance. And I lose exactly zero sleep over that decision.

The other things I’ll tell you are the basis of rules that I live by, that formed as a natural result of my experience with her. These became the mgtow rules I live by now, and they have served me very well longer than you’ve been alive.

1) You do not owe a relationship to any person. (Even if your mother was an angel, you do not owe her a relationship.)
2) You are free to abandon any relationship you choose, for any reason you choose, or for no reason at all…just because you feel like it. (How you feel matters that much, and it’s all you need to know to make a relationship decision)
3) All healthy relationships are voluntary. If you role in this relationship is not one that any other rational person would volunteer for, then you should not be volunteering for it either. As a kid, you did not have a choice. Now you do. Refer back to #1 and 2 when you choose.
4) You have no obligation to put the needs or desires of any other person before your own. This includes your mother, and would still be true even if she was a good mother. In fact, if she really was a good mother, she would be putting your needs before hers. All good mothers do this, and have done it for as far back as writings about it still survive.

When I arrived at the position you are in now, I did not yet have these rules. I had the same uncertainty, indecision and confusion that you have now, and my mother was playing the same games with my head. I decided that I would take 30 days and for that time, I would have zero contact of any kind with her. No phone calls. No messages. No letters. (email was not an issue in 1990). I decided that I would take 30 days of zero contact, and at the end of that 30 days, I would see how I felt, and make a decision based ONLY on that.

The 30 days of peace and quiet came and went. I felt better, and decided I would take another 30 days. That 30 days came and went and I decided to take another 30 days. At the end of that, I felt even better.

Soon, it will be 30 years…

You don’t need to make a forever decision right now. Just take 30 days and see how it feels.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[BlueToRedSpectator 23]

@sidecar and @brainpilot

 

Thanks a lot for your support and insight. I always KNEW that I wasn’t crazy, but she rationalized it so much and even got my dad to call me a “mad man” by playing my victim. Also she called me many things associated with crazy (see OP), said them repeatedly over a period of a year or maybe more, said them loudly and gave me the silent treatment when I tried to reason with her….. or said something like “all you want to do is…. xyz” and xyz is normally a not so nice thing, to put it lightly. And she adds  YOU KNOW to everything to delude me into thinking that I know deep down that all her bulls~~~ is factual and correct.

 

I cannot cut her off completely. I am still dependent on my father and will be for the next year or two until I complete my Masters degree and start my career. Let’s just say my father ISN’T AVAILABLE to send me money and thus she has to contact me for that stuff. She uses this and other work related stuff to contact me regularly, and makes it seem like she doesn’t want to contact me but HAS TO. I have a feeling she just does it to see how I’m doing emotionally…. whether I’m spiteful or not, whether I’m angry, bitter or whatever. I HATE her emotional spying….. if it exists. I may be completely wrong. I just hate having contact with her, so she can tell me how I’m feeling and how it’s wrong or whatever. F~~~in bitch tries to have authority in my life and be the one who knows better. Well maybe she does, but I don’t want any of it, even if I may be losing out on some critical/valuable information. I can’t keep using her as a crutch because then I’ll be dependent for life.

 

I want out. As far as family members go, I really want to cut off the ones who don’t respect me. They think my mother knows best and I should abide by my parents/make up with them NO MATTER WHAT for not only this but for the sake of f~~~ing tradition or whatever. And I’m the one who should make up. lol. This includes her sister, her mom, her brother (to an extent), her mother-in-law, her niece.

 

Come to think of it, I’m glad I made a list of these family members. I realize that I have more family! lol.

[VoidraitheParticipant 477]

BlueToRed wrote:

Are you sure she’s emotionally nuked? If she was, she would own up and beg for forgiveness. Instead of calling me a psycho and doing all that s~~~ AGAIN. I think she has a really cold heart and she’s just pulling strings. “Your choice”….. she wants to make it seem as if she did nothing and I’m a psycho, ungrateful bastard who deserves to feel guilty and ashamed. Can you help me get things into perspective so that I diffuse the nuke? BTW 22 years not 18 !

I didn’t know how long you were with your mother, I assumes 18 years.

I watched my best friend from High School go through a similar event as yourself. Any contact she is now sending are attempts to get you to return to the fold. The “data” of whatever the f~~~ syndrome she found, the emotional jabs. Yeah I think she’s hurting, you are a male utility to her just like a wife or girlfriend but with a different dynamic. Anytime a male utility walks away I’ve always seen women to first try to shame or emotionally manipulate that utility back to the fold rather than ever admit there is fault on her part. It happened with me when I finally said enough but I almost cracked and went back like a simp.

I agree with Sidecar, increase your contact with the rest of your family but hold your ground. It’s difficult, hang in there.

[FangParticipant 102]

@bluetored: Since I’m not a trained counselor I hesitate to offer any opinion because professional help is probably what you need, although not for the reasons you suspect. You need someone who can help you understand that you’ve done nothing wrong. If you are bearing any guilt or shame or remorse it’s because you want to-you certainly didn’t do anything to deserve it.

When I was 22 I was in a quandary; I could maintain a relationship with my family and exist as a miserable man, or I could sever all ties and give myself a chance at a good life. I chose to keep our relationship intact and 30+ years later I’m paying a horrendous price for my decision.

You have the option to not make the mistake I made. I know inwardly you are hoping that your mother changes. Sigh..she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong! Why would she want to change if in her own mind she’s right?

Go open a new checking account so you can at least protect your future assets. Once you do so write out a check for the remaining balance in your joint account and deposit it in your new account. Once it clears go to the bank and close the joint account. Now at least your money is your own.

Next, go to your father and to your family members-even the ones taking your mother’s side-and explain that you are severing ties with your mother and explain why. Politely ask them to support you or at least respect your wishes in the matter. Tell them they are going to hear your mother speaking a lot of untruths and spinning a lot of yarns all of which should be ignored. You’re undoubtedly going to get a ration of s~~~ from the pro-mom people. You have to be firm here by telling them you don’t want to hear it…that you wanted to inform them out of courtesy, not to listen to crap. If they still want to be douche nozzles then cut them out of your life completely.

As someone else in this thread so eloquently already said, “why are you still talking to this woman?” It will be tough RedToBlue. But it will be a lot f~~~ing tougher ten or twenty years down the line if you don’t do what is necessary…

[BlueToRedSpectator 23]

Fang wrote:

@bluetored: Since I’m not a trained counselor I hesitate to offer any opinion because professional help is probably what you need, although not for the reasons you suspect. You need someone who can help you understand that you’ve done nothing wrong. If you are bearing any guilt or shame or remorse it’s because you want to-you certainly didn’t do anything to deserve it. When I was 22 I was in a quandary; I could maintain a relationship with my family and exist as a miserable man, or I could sever all ties and give myself a chance at a good life. I chose to keep our relationship intact and 30+ years later I’m paying a horrendous price for my decision. You have the option to not make the mistake I made. I know inwardly you are hoping that your mother changes. Sigh..she doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong! Why would she want to change if in her own mind she’s right? Go open a new checking account so you can at least protect your future assets. Once you do so write out a check for the remaining balance in your joint account and deposit it in your new account. Once it clears go to the bank and close the joint account. Now at least your money is your own. Next, go to your father and to your family members-even the ones taking your mother’s side-and explain that you are severing ties with your mother and explain why. Politely ask them to support you or at least respect your wishes in the matter. Tell them they are going to hear your mother speaking a lot of untruths and spinning a lot of yarns all of which should be ignored. You’re undoubtedly going to get a ration of s~~~ from the pro-mom people. You have to be firm here by telling them you don’t want to hear it…that you wanted to inform them out of courtesy, not to listen to crap. If they still want to be douche nozzles then cut them out of your life completely. As someone else in this thread so eloquently already said, “why are you still talking to this woman?” It will be tough RedToBlue. But it will be a lot f~~~ing tougher ten or twenty years down the line if you don’t do what is necessary…

 

Thanks a lot man for replying in such detail. I don’t trust psychiatry one bit. It has an 80% failure rate and almost all of the successes have to be on drugs for the rest of their lives, which cause other problems. Most therapists are also women, so there’s no chance that I’m going there! haha. And you know what? I “KNOW” that what I did is right. I know I don’t have a “mental illness” and I know that my mom is a controlling BITCH who will go to any extreme to make me comply to her wishes and take her abuse.

 

I realize now that my mom is just another woman. A solipsistic, narcissistic bitch who will play victim and do ANYTHING to maintain the upper hand in society. She doesn’t care about me or if I see her abuse me or whatever. Until I was an entertaining, energy-filled kid she was happy. Now that I can think for myself and not fall for her f~~~ing manipulation, she has a problem. She wants me to live a lie. That’s how EVIL my mother really is.

 

It’s hard coming to terms with this, but everyday proof of women is just strengthening my belief in myself and what I think is true. My mom is a feminist and no matter what she or her supporters (most women and some men) say the truth will always remain evident. We men often refuse to see the true nature of women, myself included. It’s hard….

 

All that stuff we’ve been told about “love” is a lie *sigh*

[Author]

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