Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › I want to live.
This topic contains 53 replies, has 30 voices, and was last updated by 
alchemist 2 years, 1 month ago.
- AuthorPosts
Sparky,
You matter to us a lot!
Christmas time is always hard as all of these terrible memories of sick family life resurface inside of you.
Christmas time is known to be hell for children who grow up in abusive families.
Both parents are on forced vacation, are under stress having to buy presents and decorating the place… And they are mostly BROKE after buying all of that useless s~~~.
So instead of relaxing at the end of a stressful year, they get 10 times more stress.
And if there is no harmony inside that family they are going to clash.
And in my case, they always clashed very badly. There was tension in the air making it hard to breathe. During Christmas time my mother and grandmother were constantly winding up my father over anything and everything we couldn’t do or buy because of his “normal/average” salary.
In 1969 (I was 2) and in 1971 my father ripped the burning Christmas tree (we had real wax candles back then) from the foundation and threw it after my grandmother. We had to put it out with water brought in from the kitchen. But you can imagine the adrenaline shock I get at age 2 and again at age 4.
And sometimes he shredded entire pieces of furniture. Or ripped the burning oil furnace for the wall and threw it into the living room.
We kids lived like in a propane gas leak cloud afraid to move and cause a static spark.
Days of pretending not to be there, so things would calm down.
And the nagging stopped after my father had unloaded his frustrations. But it resumed shortly after that.
He was a poor guy and then all c~~~s served him up as the perpetrator…
And convinced me that I am also bad for being his son.
As my oldest sister (16 years older than me) had to move out in 1971. She always took the side of our man-hating grandmother and he really beat the s~~~ out of her. (He had to marry because of her and that’s why he hated her the most)
The next Christmas in 1972 the cops had to be called as the useless c~~~s provoked my father again over being too poor and being an “uncaring father”.
He had just laid the foundation for our solid built 3 story house and the basic structure was finished in late 1972…
And the c~~~s would still call him a s~~~ty father. And talk to the hive about it in his presence…
So he took a canister of gasoline and wanted to burn it all down. The cops kept him from doing so.
He worked his ass off and got sick in 1985, died in 1998 and was never given any admiration or respect for what he did for us. I was the only one ever to help him.
Around Christmas time in 1981, I was alone with him and these were quiet 4 weeks. “The devil” was suddenly a calm person I could actually talk to without getting into a fight.
The c~~~s brought out the worst in him.
Christmas time and Easter season were always the worst conflict spots.
And it soon enters your subconscious mind – your natural danger management you were given from the caveman era…
… that these “time episodes” are dangerous and your body chemical system goes into overdrive without you having any influence on it.
Depression, feelings of guilt, all of preceding insults resurface all at once and make you wish you were dead.
In 1991, I read a psychology book about that and got over it that way. It was about “retraining” your subconscious mind and getting rid of this scary body chemical imbalance (aka depression and anxiety) that way.
Starting around that time. I used Christmas holidays to do useful and positive projects.
Decorating the rooms, fitting new satellite dishes and distribution devices, putting a new car radio in my bus, rewiring the LAN network of my shop, maintaining my test equipment, fixing stereo components for myself, repairing minor things on the car… (if it’s not too cold outside)
Clean up the kitchen, the car, the stereo, go into detail to remove all the tiny things that get ignored during the year.Clean up or reinstall the PC…
Most important:
Turn off the TV!
No radio with s~~~ty Christmas music on.
Keep busy and let the results of your work catapult you into a good mood and positive feeling about these holidays.
That was my reprogramming for the “holiday season”.
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
Some years ago, a hotel advertised a deal in which it was guaranteed that guests would be completely isolated from Christmas.
They were pilloried in the press.
But oversubscribed.
Feeling bad and suicidal around Christmas time can be attributed to subconscious programming of the mind.
Like that ape experiment they carried out some time ago.
They put a monkey inside of a cage and every time the lights went out the monkey was given an electric shock…
Soon, the monkey went into panic mode every time the lights went out even if there was no electric shock applied.
Or people who survived the big carpet bombings of German cities in World War II took cover under the bed when they heard the roaring of a thunderstorm outside.
The bombings went on for years and no one could ever be sure of surviving. So this became a subconscious reaction to run for cover every time it sounded like bombs approaching. I have personally met a lot of people like that. In the 1970’s, they were still here.
Here is something for you to read about Pavlov’s dog.
Subconscious conditioning:
https://www.simplypsychology.org/pavlov.html
We were conditioned to be depressed and wish the world away during Christmas season…
And the c~~~s with their “holiday insanity” played a huge part in it. All of the good men who were exposed to that walked out or will walk out in the future.
No c~~~,
– no demands
– no buying unneeded Christmas s~~~ (and slaving for 3 consecutive months to pay it off)
– no pleasing her hive, by catering them for 1000’s of bucks
– no shaming for everything that is not up the standards seen on TV
– no conflicts…Life is wonderful without them.
Loneliness is the programming we were given so we men stick around and think of it as “normal”…
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
Anonymous54I would be curious about the rate of depression around the holidays in the Southern Hemispher.
Long days, plenty of Sun.
So how much does the lack of Sunlight affect us.
Do not flush your life away Sparky. You matter to me.
Find something to replace the bad with something good.
Memories will never fade. But your body chemistry system can be reprogrammed.
Stay away from society and the media and do something of value that you enjoy.
Media is toxic as they all fill you up with shame to pressure you to buy things for your holy vagina.
And they make you feel bad if you “can’t compete”.
Ever wondered why so many men overdraft their credit cards around Christmas time and then need 3 following salaries to even it out?
Red pill men are immune to that.
We live in peace. No worse thing in this world than sleeping with debt on your mind.
No c~~~ “creating Christmas harmony” is worth that!
“Christmas harmony” means you have to pay a s~~~load of money just so she stops bitching for a few days of the year.
Better get rid of her completely.
Christmas is for c~~~s. It’s her “special day” like the wedding.
Women are immature children and they “need” the Christmas “excitement” – but on your dime.
My father had to buy materials for our house and so he got hell at Christmas time.
C~~~s spend ALL money on s~~~ and that’s why they need a man behind them. Since you are forbidden by law to set them limits, the only thing is to move out and let them enjoy their drama.
And let the c~~~s cry to their cats around Christmas time. (I have seen that in reality)
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
I read your post on Friday about Oscar. The next day I had to go to a medical appointment and the Nurse had a Dachshund tattoo! It made me think of Oscar. So his spirit is definitely traveling through the cosmos bringing joy and happiness this year.
Take care this season.
For me it is a religious holiday ONLY, no more secular nonsense.
It’s a special day for the c~~~s and that’s why gynocentric blue pill society made it so important.
It’s all a lie, designed to please the holy vagina.
Santa can shove the c~~~s up his ass.
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
Anonymous54For me it is a religious holiday ONLY, no more secular nonsense.
I like to see True blievers Celebrate the real meaning of Christmas.
I dont beleive Santa rose out of the cave and said..
Every kiss begins with kay.
( I know thats Easter, but you get my drift)
I dont beleive Santa rose out of the cave and said..
Every kiss begins with kay.
Santa did not invent credit cards and c~~~s’ demands.
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
Sparky, brother, stop thinking so much. Just live.
Sparky I’m sending you all the NO F~~~S GIVEN POWER I can muster… and trust me that’s a lot.
Use NFG and this f~~~smas will be the best you ever had.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Sparky I’m sending you all the NO F~~~S GIVEN POWER I can muster… and trust me that’s a lot.
Use NFG and this f~~~smas will be the best you ever had.
Full strength.
Very sorry to hear what all you’ve been through. Hope you can push through this, and see everyone else here does as well. Not religious myself but I can appreciate that Xmas lost its meaning with all the commercialism of it. Even just seeing that, for me, spending time together can be just for show, is disheartening. I prefer cloudy, dreary weather and dark days, would be fine in Silent Hill if not for the monsters and personalized hell, but it does seem to hold true some part of the holidays lends itself to fueling depression.
Personally, it’s almost a month away from the restraining order I got earlier this year. Hoping I won’t have to do anything about it because I have not done anything since to break it, but who knows. What matters is around this time I thought about hanging myself, not only because of unwarranted guilt but also because I thought I’d get something worse thrown at me. It was worse than any previous attempt when I had the ladder in my maintenance closet and heavy duty cables, but I was still too afraid. Thank god for that.
I don’t know your whole situation, maybe you’ve posted it before, but whatever your reasons, well…I would not begrudge any man who finds it isn’t worth living, but the way I see things now, it’s much better to spit in the face of a society that will just forget about us the next day, or the people who will just mourn the utility they’ve lost. To live for yourself is to stand up against the system we face today.
"I have the fury of my own momentum." "With this ring I thee wed. Fire walk with me."
Anonymous54Sparky, brother, stop thinking so much. Just live.
Some Great Advice right there.
Your thoughts create an enotional reation. To your own thoughts.
And around and around you go.
Keep busy.
Keep Oscar busy.
The red pill is not easy to swallow and it has side affects that last a long time and is a bitter pill.
THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
Anonymous3Sparky,
they say women are like hurricanes, they come wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house, your car…
This is a joke, but there is something to learn also.
If our life’s work was destroyed by an hurricane (a real one), then we would be equally devastated. Because every sacrifice, every effort and privation to build our property, it is all gone…
It was all for nothing.
Where do we get the strength to start again? We can be depressed, and sometimes sink into permanent despair.
But in here there is also an opportunity for learning. Anything material can be taken or destroyed, all we really have is ourselves.
It is our determination, our abilities, our efforts, that are the real riches.
It is not easy to start a new life. But we can realize that what was really important was getting there, not the place we wanted to get, but the voyage.
If it is not challenging, it is not satisfactory.
If it is not hard, it is not worth it.If the hurricane comes, and takes everything away, then its time to start again, this time not making the same mistakes we did last time.
Therefore we can end up being BETTER than before.
Count yourself as luck Sparky. My narcissistic ex took my dachshund when she moved out. Not to keep for herself…. 5 Days later she put up for adoption with those assholes at the Dachshund Rescue of North America.
I found him on their website with his real name posted under his photograph. The poor beast looked timid and scared in the photo. I email and call DRNA and asked for my dog to be returned to me. No response, they simply deleted his photo and bio from the adoption page. They never did return any of my emails and calls. To this day I don’t know what ever happened to him..
What kind of f~~~ed up bitch would do something like that to a poor dumb animal, just to strike back and attempt to punish a man?
Sparky, so glad you put this post on here! You are not alone as all these guys say. I too suffer from depression and have a hard time around this time of year. But you better be here in January posting!
PM me anytime if you need, and the other guys I know say the same thing. Just let it ride itself out.You’re gonna do great, brother!
Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.
Man, you need to find some perspective to help right your thoughts.
1. Go spend time with friends
2. Go spend time with the old guys at the nursing home
3. Go help feed the poor at a kitchen. Not the lazy, but the actual poor.
4. If you live where there is ice, go ice fishing.Whatever you do, get out, get away, and get busy.
Stop thinking about it Sparky and take your dog for a walk…Go someplace you have never been in before or volunteer at some group that feeds people…The past is gone, you have to take responsibility for your life and your dogs life instead of blaming your situation…Good luck…
I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...
- AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
921526
921524
919244
916783
915526
915524
915354
915129
914037
909862
908811
908810
908500
908465
908464
908300
907963
907895
907477
902002
901301
901106
901105
901104
901024
901017
900393
900392
900391
900390
899038
898980
896844
896798
896797
895983
895850
895848
893740
893036
891671
891670
891336
891017
890865
889894
889741
889058
888157
887960
887768
886321
886306
885519
884948
883951
881340
881339
880491
878671
878351
877678
