I want to live.

[AstroParticipant 2045]

I chose this forum to say this as I know it will be gone from eyes soon and forgotten. If not for my Dachshund, I would have died the three days after last Christmas My wish for death has returned as I face this God forsaken holiday in his name. I still have my dachshund but I now have MGTOW as well. If I can survive this one, I think I can make it.

How I hate the latter half of December, when I am laid off to stew for that time. Santa can take that tree and shove it up his ass. That day is a day of sorrow. Yet I decided to give that day to my Dachshund (Oscar) who saved my life. It isn’t really the 25th I dread but the three days after. I marked December 26th-28th as my three days in hell. On those days, my brother in Michigan called but could not understand what I murmured. I faced a total breakdown while I planned to drive off a cliff in Cherokee National Forrest. Cherohala Skyway is special as all I needed to do was put my car in neutral and let gravity do its job. I would have gone over a 3,000 foot cliff with no guard rail to stop me. No gun was needed to make my last statement and I promised myself to never use a gun to end my life and I have more than one.

Thank God for MGTOW as you are my friends. Sometimes, you have ideas that make sense and I listen. The red pill is not easy to swallow and it has side affects that last a long time and is a bitter pill. It would have been easier to take had I been younger. At least I took it.

[Anonymous 43]

Do not flush your life away Sparky. You matter to me.

Find something to replace the bad with something good.

[Anonymous 1]

If possible, spend the time around Christmas doing something with your friends, even if it means driving 1000km to meet another MGTOWer. Or even do something that you want to do, or learn something new.

I felt very similar to you after my GSD died 10 years ago. Just remember that wounds heal. It may be too early for you, but maybe get another dog ?

Or try and discover something new. I personally learned how to use a hand gun a few weeks ago, thanks to the people on here to replied to my thread and gave me incredible advice.

[TrailbossParticipant 1844]

Sparky, go to the introductions section and start READING! I know what you are feeling, most of us here do! You need to realize that you are not alone. If you don’t want to read, go to youtube and look up MGTOW videos. Sandman, Bar Bar, etc. Watch, listen and learn. You are not alone: You are FREE! The sooner you get that, the faster happiness will return to you. From there, you can plan. Set some goals and start pushing forward to your new future! Don’t listen to the shamers, the blamers or the blue pilled. They will never understand and they will never encourage you to do the things they cannot do themselves. Walk Tall Brother! It’s going to get better…much, much better!

An educated, armed populace cannot be enslaved.

[Anonymous 12]

Sparky, i took off-duty time from Dec15 to Jan2.
I hate those two weeks beyond any other time of the year, like you.
I was taught that it is the time for family, debriefing the year and looking forward to another one with adjusted goals and gained wisdom.

Well, it f~~~ing is not.

To me it is a fake time often filled with fake affection, theatre, pretending everything is well, s~~~ like that.

So i stay away from people…
I plan on doing work around the house – cosmetic as well as electric works, and giving the bathroom an in-depth cleanup with hot steam pressure and a f~~~ton of chemicals.
Also shearing the dog and trying to bake a decent loaf of Bread.

i would propose that you take a good close look at these 3 dark days now.
Remember them. think about them. dig into that s~~~ now. dig deep till you are bored with remembering the pain.
and when the 3 days come, You, just like me, will want to make a small step ahead, make your life just a little bit better.

Together.

Those days are dark, i know that.
You will see me a LOT on the forum during that time – not leave people like yourself alone.
Past the 21st of December, the daylight gets longer again.
You made it once. abandoned.
You will make it again.
Not abandoned.

[Anonymous 42]

Astro wrote:

Santa can take that tree and shove it up his ass.

Tree top first, the hard way? Make sure it’s full of fragile glass ornaments so we can laugh as they pop going up his ass! Lots of old fashioned lights too! I wanna see him fry!

[Anonymous 11]

Sparky, these short days can have that effect. Hang in there, man. Soon, the days will be lengthening.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

Soon, the days will be lengthening.

So will the cold and snow! Strange how that works?

I thought I had a serious problem lagging behind but Mother Nature is f~~~ing ridiculous!

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

Sparky:

Your life is on the upswing, you are stronger and tougher than anything that life or your soon to be ex can throw at you. The thing that is getting me through tough times is to focus on the future not the past. Things will get better for you. I’ve seen an improvement in your outlook and attitude in the few months I’ve known you. It will continue to get better as time passes.

This Christmas thing is just temporary, it will be over in three weeks.

TTW

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Just treat it as any other day. Find something to do that you like and forget about the idiots and their bulls~~~. For me it is a religious holiday ONLY, no more secular nonsense. I try to just stay focused on that and let everything else slide. Thank God for your dog–he sounds really cool!

[Anonymous 1]

Anonymous wrote:

Sparky, these short days can have that effect. Hang in there, man. Soon, the days will be lengthening.

This is very true. If you live in an area that has little to no sunlight in Winter, make sure you can somehow get out of that and see the sun for a few hours (go up into the mountains if possible).

For instance, I live in a valley between two mountain ranges. The valley has a very large lake. So, for 2.5 months of the year I live under a canopy of s~~~ cloud / fog, a grey existence that is horrible. I have to drive up the mountains to see the sun. Every time I do, I feel almost reborn.

[Anonymous 0]

Anonymous wrote:

ChauvinistPig wrote:

Sparky, these short days can have that effect. Hang in there, man. Soon, the days will be lengthening.

This is very true. If you live in an area that has little to no sunlight in Winter, make sure you can somehow get out of that and see the sun for a few hours (go up into the mountains if possible).

For instance, I live in a valley between two mountain ranges. The valley has a very large lake. So, for 2.5 months of the year I live under a canopy of s~~~ cloud / fog, a grey existence that is horrible. I have to drive up the mountains to see the sun. Every time I do, I feel almost reborn.

+ solarium helps to fight depression too. It’s actual in Russia, and in any other place on Earth with high geographical latitudes. I’ve been using it for more than a year – it keeps decent level of vitamin D, produced by my melanocytes and at least bearable level of serotonin in my brain and in bloodstream.

Also check this up, this ones might be useful:

How to increase serotonin in the human brain
without drugs (Simon N. Young, 2007)

Effect of sunlight and season on
serotonin turnover in the brain (G W Lambert, C Reid, D M Kaye, G L Jennings, M D Esler, 2002)

I used sci-hub and library genesis (lib gen) to get them. I hope this would help. Please, keep yourself alive and sane.

[PistolPeteParticipant 27143]

Amen Hector, When I lived in West Virginia it was the same way. Actually WVA has the fewest days of sun than any other state in the union—even Washington state.

[AwakenedParticipant 35207]

I would recommend TREATING YOURSELF EACH DAY throughout the Christmas Season.

For example, one day plan taking your dog to a park. Another day, plan on going to a matinee of some movie that you want to see. Take yourself out to eat at your favorite restaurant. Buy yourself an old comedy dvd collection like The Honeymooners, or I love Lucy, or whatever just so you can LOL all day.

The point is that YOU do a lil something each day that YOU LOOK FORWARD TO.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Anonymous 38]

S~~~ bro, that moved me to tears. I will raise a glass to you and your Dachshund this Christmas.

Stories like these prove how important this site is. We may not always agree but the support is pretty unconditional when it’s really needed.

[WPLParticipant 2390]

Lots of good advice here. I don’t hate this season, but it has gradually lost most of its meaning for me. When I was a kid, it was a time to visit family and I enjoyed that. Now, it means a week or two off to have some peace and quiet, sleep in a bit, and finish up some of my larger non-work projects (like ripping a damn wall open to repair old termite damage). That’s the key thing — occupy your time with something you enjoy, or at least something that keeps your mind busy. If people want to celebrate the holiday, fine… if you don’t, that’s perfectly ok too — just go on like it’s any other day and do what YOU want to do. We’re all here for you, too… I hope you can take comfort in that.

[KolaxisParticipant 668]

Glad to see you’re coming around, Sparky. When things get dark, just remember the gift that Oscar has given you. Life is worth living. Don’t ever let this world get you down to where you want to give up. This world doesn’t rule you, it doesn’t own you, and it doesn’t determine your fate. The Red Pill is power. Use it and keep walking your own path; choose your own destiny!

Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.

[Anonymous 54]

Ride it out.

Put your head down and start plodding.

I have know people who get the holiday blues.

I just call it the festival of lights.

Put up lots of colored lights.

Do it for Oscar.

Do it for you.

The Cherohala Skyway is one of my fovorite rides.

I dont want to think , oh heres the corner Sparky went off the Mountain.

Dont f~~~ up my ride Man!!!

You CAN get through this.

[Anonymous 54]

It should be obvious by now.

WE want you to live too!!!

[IcebiteParticipant 86]

Astro wrote:

Santa can take that tree and shove it up his ass

Don’t do it. We need the humor, and I mean that in a good way.

[Author]

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