i like poetry

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

pic.twitter.com/2Hkp8jMbRT

— redCanine3669 (@redCanine3669) October 31, 2017

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— redCanine3669 (@redCanine3669) October 31, 2017

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22520]

Not all poetry is frilly feminine writings. Some poetry is hardcore horror. Such as the poetry by Edger Allan Poe.

Vincent Price brought a lot of Edger Allen Poe’s works to TV and Movies. Classic horror stories worth checking out. Especially, during Halloween.

Happy Halloween everyone.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

man, i’m an idiot sometimes.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

in the last few messages, i used sexually suggested language that could get me ousted from that community.

now, i’m a sexual man. i want to express my sexuality without getting hurt.

so in that community, i’m going to go for public chatrooms, rather than 1-to-1 private chatrooms. i’m also going to go for systematically expressing my sexuality on at least a daily basis, with or without women.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

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— redCanine3669 (@redCanine3669) November 1, 2017

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

pic.twitter.com/ihanx2Acvi

— redCanine3669 (@redCanine3669) November 1, 2017

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

my friend asked for my opinion on Tinder.

“lol. i’ve not been on a date before, so i can’t really help you there. i’ve only used Tinder to find male friends, back when i was interested in finding local buds to hang out with. tinder is a location-based finder, so that’s why i thought it would be good. but i feel most people use Tinder for more intimate things beyond friendship, so i stopped using it.

but yeah, people have told me that Tinder is for one night stands and for meeting girls.

i’ve tried OKCupid for dating. i’ve been banned from OKCupid. I feel that online dating resources try to monetize romance and love in a way where if you seem like a creep and could drive away women and business, they will oust you. they really don’t care much about your heart’s needs or interests. it’s a business.

they want you to pay money to them so that you have a higher CHANCE of meeting and getting replies from women who might not even meet you or are scripted by a computer program. in actuality, there’s not many ways you can tell if a woman on a dating website is real or not, unless she responds to your messages. so some dudes can be aimlessly trying to get the attention of fake women, or be pressured into paying for a better CHANCE at meeting a woman.

in fact, there aren’t many online dating sites that let you message people for free. For Tinder, i’m pretty sure the women MUST message you first. you can’t message women. you can only swipe them and give them a Like or something to show interest, but you can’t communicate with them with messages initially.

but like OKCupid, Plenty Of Fish is also an economical online dating resource that allows free messaging. but POF is a lot less formal and forgiving than OKCupid. if you get a certain number of blocks from women, you can be ousted from the POF community regardless of whether or not you abide by the community guidelines. again: they mostly care about money and less about your needs, in the long run.

but if you have money and a lot of weeks and patience, then online dating websites might be good for you. my list of suggestions are

1. OKCupid
2. POF

all other online dating websites are a bit restrictive, for my tastes.”

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

i posted that dating advice on reddit and someone replied,

“Can I ask politely ask what the point of this post is? Are you recommending us specific dating sites? or looking for advice? or just random thought spouting?

“From what I read from your post, it seems like you’re unhappy that you’re not having much success with online dating. Online dating is tough, for both men and women. I recommend working on yourself and finding a passion in something before worrying about dating. You might be doing something quite off-putting that it is getting you banned from dating sites.”

wherefore i answered,

“i posted this here because a friend asked for advice and I felt the advice could help a lot more than just him. this is a dating advice subreddit, so i thought this was a good place to post that advice.

“as for online dating or dating, i have no interest in either.”

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

i went to the bodega lady and asked for “a good apple.” she ended up giving me an HIV one.

i mean, it’s autumn and the fruits aren’t too good in this season. but darn yo. wasted some good money. she has the apples behind the counter too, so i can’t examine them myself. got to rely on her to know which apple’s good or not.

i’m mad.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

pic.twitter.com/hxuc1UYhDr

— redCanine3669 (@redCanine3669) November 7, 2017

she likes tall men, so i need to get on her level.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

i logged into Plenty Of Fish and almost messaged a woman, but i stopped myself.

recently, i’ve been finding it hard to find relief. i’ve been trying to talk to women for relief. but i’m finding that women usually don’t talk to me. if i message a woman, she likely won’t respond. so i end up wasting time talking to women who might not like me or might report me for harassing.

and more worrisome is some women seem to respond in a hurtful or disrespectful fashion. if i’m trying to talk to a woman for relief, and that woman responds in a way such that i feel disrespected or hurt, then i’m achieving the opposite of what i was aiming for. such responses cripple me and waste more time on my schedule with recovery. there were even times when i had nobody to talk to about such incidents and i felt somewhat self-destructive.

it’s a scary and horrible experience and feeling, and i don’t want to feel that feeling anymore. i know i can find relief and happiness in other ways. i don’t need to talk to women for relief, if it sometimes doesn’t produce anything or ends with me feeling very very sad and self-destructive.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

well i’ve been reading sexual news from twitter: news about sex crimes in my city. i feel that, as a sexual man, i have to educate myself with the ways men like me behave in communities, so that i keep myself safe.

one story was about a 18 year-old girl who was arrested by 2 random cops and supposedly raped in their cop car. she was arrested after marijuana was found in a car she was in with 2 men who were her friends.

they even found DNA strands of both cops in or on her body. so clearly there was sex involved. the question was whether she was raped or whether she exchanged sex for a free pass from jail.

even as the cops first met her, she was adjusting her bra and the cops asked her if she was hiding marijuana in her bra. after she said no, the cops told her to prove it and so she took off her bra.

i’m seeing a pattern of powerful men being able to commit these crimes on women. for example, if some random man (who wasn’t a cop) told her to remove her bra because he thought she was hiding marijuana in it, she’d laugh at that man and probably just drive away. heck, her two friends would’ve probably beat that dude up. lol.

but the cops had power. so when those cops told her to “prove it,” she complied.

the stupid thing is that they found marijuana in the car anyways, so they didn’t have to tell her to “prove it.” but then again, they probably told her to “prove it” because she had company. a drug search can quickly get bad when there are multiple possible suspects in the same place and time.

but the bottom line is that there was DNA strands of body fluids in or on her body. that means the chance of a sexual encounter was quite high. in fact, i personally believe there was sexual encounter, regardless of there was consent or not.

and regardless of whetehr there was consent or not, olice officiers shouldn’t be having sex with suspects. its not a smart thing to do.

i’ve noticed a pattern in the reports i’ve been reading: power is indefinite. a man does not now the power of his victim, in my city. a man using his powers in an illegal manner, to have a sexual encounter with a girl, can find himself being charged for rape. and sometimes it’s a matter if time. that girl might not report the incident immediately, but she can do so after a few years. sometime’s it’s a matter of who the victim is. for example, the girl could’ve been the daughter or wife of another very powerful man or organization. and such powerful girls can have resources to quickly supplant a man who uses power in an illegal manner for sexual purposes.

every community should have set rules that can guide men into determining how they can not conduct themselves sexually. it is up to sexual men to either abide or not abide by sexual community rules. powerful men can choose to not abide by sexual rules, but they put themselves at legal risk in the hands of victims, and so those men are sacrificing their power by not abiding.

a smart sexual man would find a way to express himself while abiding by the laws or community rules. in this case, he would be able to keep his power.

but this is all a simplification after reading fourteen or so articles of men committing sexual crimes. nonetheless, it’s the best hypotheses that i can create, to give myself a sense of security in communities.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

it’s been a while since i communicated with women privately in communities. i’ve been mostly keeping communications public, because i feel women communicate much more formally and politely in a public setting.

i talk to women for relief. but i feel that such a method for relief is a bit inconsistent, lengthy, and dangerous for my health. in fact, talking to a woman can bring about the opposite of relief and could cripple me. i also have certain insecurities around women online as well. in fact, i was taking to a person as if he or she was a woman, one time on the internet. and after a few conversations, the dude finally told me he was a man. talking to a man, who played as a woman, made me feel the oppositeof relief and i even felt regret.

and talking to women can get me ousted from whole communities.

it would be nice if, one day, i can talk to a woman online and actaully get relief from such a talk. but as of now, talking to women, for relief, has proven to be a bit inconsistent, lengthy, and dangerous.

for the time being, i feel i should focus more on finding relief from media like photos, music, youtube videos, and etc.

but for the record, if i do wish to find relief with talking with women, i will need to consider a few things:

1) sexuality- a compliment can come across as offensive or strange, if a woman is not into guys. unless there’s a way for me to identify lesbians and women of other sexualities, i wouldn’t feel relief talking to women

2) gender identity- even if a woman likes our conversation, i won’t feel relief if that woman is a male-to-female. i’m usually find more relif talking with women who can give birth or who can produce milk. my inability, to identify such women, makes conversations uncomfortable sometimes.

3) rejection or disrepsect- or at least the feeling of rejection or disrespect. i can usually cope with it, but it’s the opposite of relief and makes conversations inconsistent and vain sometimes. the longer it takes to find relief or receive correspondence, the more i feel a sense of rejection or disrespect that’s discomforting

4) societal ousting- there are some communities where i can be ousted for simply talking to women. getting ousted from a community is a horrible and hurtful experience. the best way to try to prevent oustings is to abide by the community rules. but even then, i can still be osuted from informally communities. this is one of the strongest factors discouraging me from talking to women for relief.

—–

there are other factors too, but i feel those four are the main factors. if i plan on talking to women for relief, i have to consider those four factors and ask myself: “is it worth talking to women for relief? and would I actually or realistically get that relief?”

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

sometimes i feel like everyone targets me because of my identity. but meh. i won’t let those people affect me.

sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me. 🙂

the guys at MGTOW also don’t hurt me either. they are understanding and accepting. i’m grateful for them. i’m also grateful for the good times i had with my buds and the laughs my buds and I shared in various communities.

i don’t think i can ever find myself angry or sad at people who hate, target, disrespect, or label me. heck, i don’t even care if whole communities hate me. at least my buds love me. 🙂

i cherish every good moment and laugh with my buds. no matter where i go, i will always have buds who are understanding, cool, and don’t judge me. i feel like the happiest man on earth sometimes.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

something unpleasant happened today, when i was talking with a woman on Twitch. i will talk about it later. i’m busy now.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

“I agree with you, bud.

even when people make promises to comply to certain regulations, the SHOULDs should not be expected much.

whether i’m talking to a trained professional or a random passerby, even though women SHOULD be respectful and humane to me (under set rules of certain online communities excluding here,) i feel it’s not always the case. tis why i somewhat stopped depending on women for things.

there are no community rules offline, so it’s even worse. women can do whatever not respectful or not humane thing they want. so i rarely talk to women outside, if at all. if i had a better understanding of legal things, maybe i could do something, but meh. i rather live online for now.”

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

i feel women like bad boys. i don’t know.

i’ve been single since birth. i’m a virgin too.

i don’t think i can be a bad boy though. i like who i am. i don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. i don’t watch porn. there might be girls who do those things or who have boyfriends who do those things. but i don’t think i can ever be that guy. in fact, i don’t want to be that kind of guy. i don’t want to change myself for a woman. i like who i am.

maybe i will be single for the rest of my life and be one of the few men who have not had a girlfriend by his 60s, but that’s okay. i like who i am, and i don’t feel like i want to change myself into another man, or even a bad boy, for the sake of a girl.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

wikipedia says “sexual misconduct encompasses a range of behavior used to obtain sexual gratification against another’s will or at the expense of another. Sexual misconduct includes sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual abuse, and any conduct of a sexual nature that is without consent, or has the effect of threatening or intimidating the person against whom such conduct is directed.”

for a second, i thought my habit was sexual misconduct. in fact, the first half does, because i find myself performing “a range of behavior used to obtain sexual gratification.” but i don’t do it against another’s will. as for “at the expense of another,” i feel that is hard to determine sometimes. a sexual conversation could be beneficial for someone. so it’s not proper to assume that my conduct is “at the expense of another” unless they explicitly say so. as soon as a women tells me so, explicitly, i move on (for my own legal safety too.)

the same goes with “any conduct of a sexual nature that is without consent, or has the effect of threatening or intimidating the person against whom such conduct is directed.” this is also dependent on how the woman feels, and can’t be determined unless that woman explicitly informs me of her displeasure or insecurity.

a good rule of thumb might be to avoid sexual conduct, but i feel sexual conduct is somewhat a part of my nature and culture. the next best thing is to just try to avoid women and to follow the rules of communities. in fact, I haven’t PMed any women in a long time, except yesterday when i hiccuped. hopefully yesterday will be the last time i PM a women. i’ve been avoiding dating websites too. they lose their purpose, once i realize how endangering it can be to PM women.

i’m a bit frustrated about yesterday, but i’ve decided to read more harassment articles on a weekly basis. i will read harassment articles twice a week, rather than once a week. in that way, i will be able to hopefully dissuade myself from PMing women on dating websites. in fact, the original plan was to read a list of statistics, whenever i had the urge to PM women. but finding such a list of statistics would be challenging and tedious; and harrasment articles pretty much serve that purpose a bit.

i hope my idea works. i feel insecure when communicating with women through PMs on dating websites. i would rather look at youtube videos or photos of professional women. or listen to female singers.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

i sometimes have emotional needs, but i feel that those are sometimes exaggerated and women are not the only source of emotional satisfaction. in fact, women are not, and have no obligation (and usually no interest,) to be emotionally satisfying or supportive. and sometimes having such expectation can lead a man into hurting himself or others.

[redCanine3669Participant 90]

“stop saying yo. then maybe you will get laid”- random woman

i was in a chatroom communicating with some bud, and that random woman shared that with me. i wasn’t even talking about sex.

1. she assumed i have some interest in sex. i do not have an interest in sex. i’ve been a virgin since birth.

2. she’s implying that i should trade my culture for sex. but i have no interest in sex, so why would i? and even if i wanted sex, i would not trade my culture for sex.

there are other countless reasons why her statement was extremely disrespectful. random women like her is a reason why i don’t communicate with women much anymore.

some men say that im fated to feel the pain of being dumped by a girlfriend. i’ve not had a girlfriend before. but if random women say to me, “stop saying yo. then maybe you will get laid;” then i don’t think i’ll want to know what that girlfriend would say to me. i don’t think i’d want that girlfriend.

ive been hurt by these women long before i’ve ever had a girlfriend and long before ive ever had sex.

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