I just sent Jehovah's witnesses packing!

[Anonymous 2]

I got sick of these assholes knocking on my door on my day off. One day, I saw them down the street, and knew it would only be a short time before they got to my door. One of my best friends that I hadn’t hung out with in a while because he moved a few hours away was at my place, and we decided to have some fun. We drew pentagrams on each other’s foreheads, and he put on a helmet with horns that I had from Halloween a few years ago. When they rang the bell, I opened the door and said “The sacrifice has arrived at the exact hour Mephistopheles had said!” Then he stepped out in the horned helmet and said “Excellent! Bring her in and let’s get started!”

That fat bitch screamed so loud, I think they heard her in London! I’ve also never seen a woman that fat run that fast in my life! That whale was like an olympic sprinter! We laughed our asses off for like an hour straight, and I nearly p~~~ed myself. They also have never returned to my house since then.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

“The sacrifice has arrived at the exact hour Mephistopheles had said!” Then he stepped out in the horned helmet and said “Excellent! Bring her in and let’s get started!”

Murph, I’m sure you were #1 on their prayer list for YEARS!

That’s what must have brought you here!

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