I debated posting yet, but reading prompted me to

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Gerald,
reading your original and subsequent posts here, my first thought was, this guy has enormous amount of courage and discipline to acknowledge all those mistakes squarely head on like that. I’m not criticizing here. I made a lot of the same mistakes. I just was too stubborn to admit them as readily as you have, and that reluctance to admit them slowed my recovery from them.

I also once thought that I needed people, and relationships with people, so badly that it was worth accepting unacceptable behavior. A very large dose of dysfunctional people and screwed up relationships broke me of that belief. In retrospect, it may be better to get a big dose of that crap early in life that forces a recognition and learning and change… than to get low doses of it for your whole life that keep you sick and less happy than you could otherwise be, but not sick enough to recognize it and take action to escape it.

Probably the big picture view is that the reason men are able to get things done and to overcome adversity better than women is that we have that discipline to acknowledge errors and correct them. Women who blame everyone and everything but themselves do it to escape responsibility for errors, but in doing so, lose a lot of control and ability to correct them. They usually demand that the solution of their self created problems to come from the target where they place the blame. That doesn’t reliably produce a solution to anything.

You are already past any reluctance to acknowledge mistakes and the ones you have made are already starting to reduce under the weight of the actions you have taken to correct them. Better diet, reading books (better strategies, better information), better insights into errors and better decisions to not make them again.

Of all the things you’ve posted so far, I was happiest to see the transition in your writing from the first one which was a review of mistakes, to the last one where I can see the beginnings of the decision to disengage and abandon the source of toxic input. I and others here see that in your last post, you are not fighting, or struggling or trying to fix anything anymore. You are disengaging and withdrawing from the crazy and focusing on the exit.

You should brace yourself because the response of crazy to your withdrawal from crazy… will probably be to ratchet up on the crazy. Don’t let that slow you down in your sprint for the exit. Keep withdrawing. That is the winning strategy here.

Raising my glass to your new path. You are already well on your way…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Anonymous 42]

BrainPilot wrote:

Women who blame everyone and everything but themselves do it to escape responsibility for errors, but in doing so, lose a lot of control and ability to correct them. They usually demand that the solution of their self created problems to come from the target where they place the blame.

GOLDEN!

BrainPilot wrote:

You should brace yourself because the response of crazy to your withdrawal from crazy… will probably be to ratchet up on the crazy. Don’t let that slow you down in your sprint for the exit. Keep withdrawing. That is the winning strategy here.

PLATINUM!

[GeraldParticipant 3631]

Badger wrote:

I found these books to be more helpful than the other “self-help” books;

Anthony de Mello
Awareness

I am nearly 1/2 way through this one… and am understanding but wondering when the ‘hit’ comes in. There has to start being a description or exercise that leads to this openness, though I understand the awareness comes from within and to be guided to it affects and alters it… maybe I’m just at the cusp of getting to the point on it.

Anyway, thanks for the recommendations everyone, keep ’em coming!

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[Author]

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