I am getting crushed by depression…

[LightBringerParticipant 440]

I consider you guys my MGTOW brothers and I am in such a bad spot right now its insane, I am on the verge of tears how powerful and long-term this depression has been.  I moved to a new city/job about 5 months ago, but I didn’t like the area and all it is is a grind, but I make ok money in this economy.  But the problem is I HAVE NO DREAMS/GOALS my whole life has been to be #1 at all times, and I really f~~~ed it up by about early 20s and now I view myself as a loser (though objectively I know this isnt true, but cant stop myself).

I see people laughing/smiling and I feel like I’m looking out of my body, listless and purposeless.  I feel like such s~~~.  Mind you I also ‘broke up’ with a fwb I found out has a husband, we got back in contact (dumb I know) and wants to come visit for sex this weekend, this also has been f~~~ing me up, I’m lonely, desperate for attention, and her she is offering it – yet I know this is probably something I need to just drop completely.

I have always been ‘tough’ in that if I had a reason to endure I would put up with anything but its like with no goal even the littlest of tasks are overwhelming.  Ive tried turning to my friends/parents but its mostly ‘snap out of it’ which doesnt help at all.  God im so f~~~ed up right now…where the hell do I even start to get back onto the horse here?

 

Thanks tons

[MDawgDizMizzleParticipant 73]

Don’t give that c~~~ a second of your time. If you have no dreams or goals, then live and have fun until it hits you. Take up a hobby to occupy time. Try something new? Try a different means of making money. Invest. Keep yourself stimulated. I’ve hit that wall before, but not as bad as you by the sound of it. I decided to become good at my job to the point where I have a name going for myself. I’m happy to have achieved that but I think I’d like to change it up a bit myself.

[ClintParticipant 331]

I’m no expert in depression, but if I were you I’d start with reading books. Not fiction – I would read biographies of great people. They are inspiring, and seeing what they’ve had to overcome makes our issues seem small.

I’d say “oh man depression is horrible,” but the reality is, depression is so scary and powerful because it’s our closest perspective to real truth. The truth is we are all insignificant and nothing has a purpose. Seems bleak, but in my opinion it is freeing. You aren’t a loser, you just think you are, and what you think is an opinion, and therefor wrong. You can do whatever the f~~~ you want to do, man. That’s what is so great. There are no REAL repercussions to any of your actions because we all die eventually.

You’re F~~~ING FREE TO BE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE. How awesome is that?? Read biographies of the greatest people and get inspiration and ideas.

Our brains are made to learn efficiently. We are supposed to master skills. The grind is what makes us content. Find something you can master that takes at least 10 years to be the best at. It’s excruciatingly difficult at first, but if everyone could do it, it would be boring as s~~~. Once you get past the beginning you get into a real rhythm and start crushing it. Then it’ll be harder to stop than to keep going with and you’ll be on a real good path.

Everlasting happiness is a myth. Learn about stoicism. Your goal shouldn’t be happiness or you’re going to be disappointed. Your goal should be tranquility.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

I know the feeling all too well. Been keeping my head above water, hope you are as well. Alot of mine is associated with my living area too. It just doesn’t jive with me, not much to do.

I got a bit of a lift by studying rock climbing rigging and techniques. Something I always wanted to do when I was younger and never got to. Plan on taking it as far as I can. The thought of a rope and the gear being the only thing keeping me from going splat(still falling up to 30′ before it catches) entertains my quest for that appreciation of life.

Boredom is your enemy. And it doesn’t always take something spectacular to get the blood pumping. Sometimes its the small stuff that gives us those small boosts of enjoyment to get ya by until the next one. Keep us posted mate.

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

LightBringer, as someone who has dealt with depression, I can tell you that what you have can catch up to you can cause a spiral.  Also, more people go through it than you think.  Because of where you are, you are going to face challenges that you weren’t told about (and when I hear a MGTOW trumpet how MGTOW is easy to do, with no down side, it irritates me).  You are facing things that will catch up to MGTOW, and I have a few tips:

* Learn to find thanks in small things.  Gratitude helps.  Take inventory of what is good.

* Watch your diet, sleep and working out.  Your health will help out.

* Do a bunch of soul searching to find meaning.  As a plug for something I am doing with my YouTube channel, feel free to watch some of my videos on Finding Your Way, where I get into how to find purpose as a MGTOW: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1QRV1Ohy-71wkvpj16PhL01qBeU05tfD

* Note you are missing a number of elements non-MGTOW will have, that make life easier.  Getting some hugs can help, along with other things.

* Take a break for some laughs and take one day at a time.  Watching positive material can help.

In short, seek to interrupt the depression pattern and move on.  And realize you are facing a human condition.  As a simple way to find meaning, think about how you can help other MGTOW deal with depression once you overcome it.

– As part of this, here is a way to do an interrupt on it.  Look in a mirror now, smile and saying you are the happiest person on the planet, over and over again.  There is a chance you will begin to laugh at how much bull that is, and it could help.  What you are doing is stopping it.

Anyhow, hang in there.  You aren’t alone here in dealing with this.  Idea is to stop the spiral.  And now, due to your post, I am thinking I may do a video on ways to combat depression.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[theseekerParticipant 32]

Ok some thngs to try

stop sex and masturbating. 2-3 weeks after the cravings for it stops you will have a newfound energy

 

try to figure out how you can make the workd better. If you are enterprising come up wigh something on your own… Writing, making mussic etc, but if not then volunteeer and meet othe great people who are also trying to make a diffeenece in the world. Gives you new meaning.

the keys are to be energetic for any cause, exdept cause that primarily drain you (sexual eelease)

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Along with the excellent posts before me, I would like to add my 2 cents here as well.
I used to be in a similar rock and a hard place as you on a daily basis.

I know we all march to our own drummer, but it really helped me to get some things going on daily, to help me get out of that “funk”.
I too, had a hard time focusing on things when the depression raged the hardest. Even things I knew I enjoyed.

I kept trying to find something to take my mind off of being lonely, wanting attention, and feeling miserable, when I would see people happy and laughing.
It was like a slap in the face to me.

I decided to play Master Of Orion pc game. (My first pc game ever)
As well, as watch movies that impacted me a lot way back when. (Original Conan, Dune, etc.)

I really don’t know how or why, but it made a light bulb go on in my head.
In short, I actually found myself looking forward to doing some of these things on a daily basis, or at least when I really needed some R&R.

It also made it easier to broaden my gaze and increase my plans and goals for my life.
Started thinking about questions like :

Where do I see myself in 5 yrs?
What things can I do to make it happen?

It wasn’t an over night thing, by any means, but I realized I found myself no longer depressed and was content with myself more times than not.
I still have days of being sad, and all, like the next person. At least it makes it more manageable for me this way.

Hope it is helpful and useful for you.
I know it sucks ass feeling like that.

[QcummerParticipant 652]

Do what you enjoyed as a youngster. It will trigger positive thoughts..”re-live” those good times. This is what @MGTOWAge spoke of.

****************

The BEST BOOK for you right now is without a doubt: MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING by Viktor e. Frankl

Get this book now and read  read read. read the s~~~ out of it. DO IT, it’s easy. Just READ THAT BOOK NOW

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

A wise man once said:

“You cant fall off the floor”

Rock bottom is a very good starting place. The clean slate that you can design the new you.

Inside you is a spark …. it may be dim right now but doing the above suggested things will increase that spark to a flame.

Your dark self has control at the moment …. the shodows surround your soul.

Rise up my friend. Take back your life from them. Give them no room … no quater …. no rest.

Force yourself to do physical work outs. That will help you sleep.

Eat good food. Nothing out of a tin or pack….. fresh food.

Go help at a local soup kitchen and talk to those guys.

Rise up …. we your brothers are here … talk with us.

Today my friend … today … right now … you start.

Stand up …. and push through … through the storm. Though it’s strong and beating …. PUSH THROUGH

We keep a watch duty out for you.

 

[Jim01Participant 6678]

I know where you are coming from – I am in every way a success; good paying job, my own place, friends if I want to hang out but the problem is I am in a 9-5 job that I absolutely hate and I can’t see an escape which is pretty depressing.

But depression is your mind’s way of telling you something is wrong – listen to it and don’t fight it. I’ve read a book “find your own north star” that is excellent at trying to get yourself out of a rut and I am about to take up hiking to fitten me up (health and fitness section thread about it)and get out to meet new people as I want fresh company in my life and also to have the confidence to do hikes by myself.

You need a project as others always say on this forum or just something to look forward to and I am saying all this feeling crappy myself at the moment and I am slowly getting myself out of it. It is much easier said than done but even if it is watching a football game at the weekend or a new game/film release to look forward to – just focus on something

whatever you do DON’T see this women – she will know how you are feeling and screw you over completely and make you feel worse

[BDParticipant 1146]

Fight through it brother, go to the gym and fail your way to success. Treat your body as your temple and respect yourself.

Forgive everyone else and most importantly, forgive yourself, don’t waste energy on hate.

I’ve heard that depression is a luxury, it’s a luxury because you have the time to feel sorry for yourself, if you have hit rock bottom then you have no choice but to take action. Take action regardless.

Iliveagain, KeyMaster and several others have helped many men on this site, that will be part of their legacy. Build your own legacy.

 

Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Doesn’t say how old you are…. but are you kidding?
The 20s are when you’re SUPPOSED to make your mistakes.

That aside. The “lonely” stuff, you can knock off.

You know who the loneliest men are? THE MARRIED ONES. That’s not bulls~~~. A few years in and a husband can’t wait to get up from the dinner table and retreat to the workshop or the garage -f~~~ing ANYWHERE where he can be alone with his thoughts – if someone will let him. “Dad can I have?…. Honey can you? ….. Dad she pushed me!!!! …. honey I already told you!!….. Dad I need….. Honey you’re LATE!!…. Dad can I please??….. Honey not tonight…..”.

Imagine that! You’re not lonely anymore. AWESOME right? You’re now up at 6AM forced to s~~~, p~~~, force-feed, shave, fight traffic, wear uncomfortable clothes, to go work to make money for someone else on days you don’t even want to…. which is damn near ALL of them. And you have no choice. But you’re also not lonely. You want to know why a man like that keeps going like a windup toy? Because he’s TOO BUSY TO THINK ABOUT AN ALTERNATIVE. He’s too distracted. He’s OBLIGATED. He’s owned. Every dime goes straight to his daughters and his wife. He can’t even THINK about it.

You still have your own free will.

A man is not rich when he has MONEY.
A man is rich when he has CHOICES.

The poorest people are not poor because they don’t have money.
They are poor because they have no CHOICES.

QUOTE:

“I used to think living alone must be the worst thing in the world.

It’s not.

The worst thing in the world…. is being surrounded by people who make you FEEL alone”.

– Robin Williams.

3 Ex wives and 3 kids.
Never “lonely” a day in his life.

So f~~~ing what. My brother hasn’t been able to think for himself or even complete a sentence for 16 years. He talks like he is having a conversation but his mind is all over the place, on what’s on the grill, on the kids, on the the beer, on the business, he can’t even finish a sentence without “Dad!!!”. It’s f~~~ing unbelievable. 16 years. I could say “I’m gonna step on your dog” while talking to him and he would just say “more ice?”. You think I’m joking? Im not. Dude is a lost man. Out of a shell. He wouldn’t even have the CAPACITY to articulate a paragraph like you wrote (very top). His own mind is gone.

You know what I recommend? Go to the movies and let someone ELSE tell you a story. See two movies back to back. EMPTY YOUR HEAD. I recently watch 4 hours of totally mindless sitcoms and TV at a friends house. It was the BEST therapy. 4 hours of s~~~. Commercials. Infomercials. Gilligan’s Island. Friends. Just pure s~~~. And then I watched 48 hours with Eddie Murphy. For a change, I wasn’t thinking at all. I switched off entirely. So relaxing. Afterwards, it was like “what day is this?”. No kidding. I will do it more often. Once a month, maybe. It was long overdue.

You need that. Everyone needs that.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[MotivParticipant 441]

Stick with it bud asking for advise is the first step and all the above posts have great points to take on board,

I have been depressed a fair few times in my life one thing I would suggest like others is find a hobby that will improve your health at the same time as this fixes more inner problems than we realize for me it was climbing/caving/cycling, outdoor stuff and I was willing to try anything that gave me the feeling of being alive that didnt need or involve women, In fact some of these hobby’s I enjoyed so much that they recked relationships, It annoyed the women a hell of a lot because they was not getting my full attention in my spare time and watched me get stronger without their input …(god bless these hobbies)

I was so depressed at one stage of my life in my late 20s that I choose some crazy things to try and cure my empty sad worthless lack of energy ‘feelings’ and in no way am I suggesting you do this but I went on a full self destruction path, nothing positive came from this apart from knowing what ‘my rock bottom was’

Now I can see something good and positive to use from most situations even the bad, Loneliness for me was something inside myself that I needed to understand as an emotion, Once I faced this emotion head on and treated it as such it became so much easier to not rely on women or anyone  to cover it over with a plaster (not allowing the air to get to it making it worse) which is what some women love to do so for your own well being dont think shes making things better because she is not, If you have her over again when your doing whatever it is you are doing with her keep reminding yourself of how you feel when your depressed and ask yourself ‘is this fixing it or is it just a short distraction thats going to make it worse’

Find some hobbies as others have said and the watching and reading of positive material will get you moving in the right direction.

You will get this concurred so stick to positives bud, depression is different for everyone in many different ways but it can be over come in much the same way for all that have to face this relentless emotion=reaction=emotion=reaction=emotion inner turmoil that has become a learnt pattern so time scale of the suffering is different for everyone that goes through it.

Most of all keep positive and look inside as much if not more than outside for ‘your’ positives as social situations can be the hardest things to just up and change unless you can move that is.

All the best well you get over this period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cool story babe now go make me a sandwich

[RoyDalParticipant]

The previous posts offer excellent advice.

LightBringer wrote:

But the problem is I HAVE NO DREAMS/GOALS my whole life has been to be #1 at all times, and I really f~~~ed it up by about early 20s and now I view myself as a loser (though objectively I know this isnt true, but cant stop myself).

I had a nasty case of depression once. It was a combination of no goals and nutritional deficiency. It dissipated nicely when I changed both. Those SSRI drugs only made it worse: My depression was not caused by a lack of drugs in my bloodstream.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[MotivParticipant 441]

RoyDal wrote:

The previous posts offer excellent advice.

LightBringer wrote:

But the problem is I HAVE NO DREAMS/GOALS my whole life has been to be #1 at all times, and I really f~~~ed it up by about early 20s and now I view myself as a loser (though objectively I know this isnt true, but cant stop myself).

I had a nasty case of depression once. It was a combination of no goals and nutritional deficiency. It dissipated nicely when I changed both. Those SSRI drugs only made it worse: My depression was not caused by a lack of drugs in my bloodstream.

Very true do not seek meds, heres a quote,

“Lifestyle has more impact on our emotions and health than genetics. Depression does not stem from a change in chemical reactions in the brain- in fact more than 80 percent of the problem stems from the gut, and how the nutrients are processed and distributed to the rest of the body. If you want to combat depressive problems then do not seek medication to ‘correct’ brain chemistry- start with changing your diet”.

 

 

 

Cool story babe now go make me a sandwich

[AttonParticipant]

It gets better it did for me.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[LonerBonerParticipant 358]

Ignore that bitch!

You know the drill as we all do inside:

– Find some s~~~ to do! The more the better!

– Try something new like skydiving or something else that is scary, the adrenalin will make you feel alive.

Keep clam i'm dyslexic.

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

I’ve been there.  I’m sure many guys here have too.  It’s cliche to say but it’s true.  Just take it one day at a time.  Do what you have to do to get through today.  My issue was that i would look 20 years down the road and felt it would be 20 years of poverty, loneliness, and misery.  It’s not and it won’t be.  Just get through the day.  Things will get better.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[StandUpGuyParticipant 334]

Normally I would read all of the other comments; but I know what to do.

Watch this video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

Depression is telling you something about yourself. Might as well and have a good time. Enjoy a cup of tea, food, sleep and just being alone. Soon it will be better. What you got going on is the spiral-of-disrepair. Stop it. Stop it Stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[BurgundyParticipant 1525]

Just self realization that something is going in the wrong direction.  You know very well what it is, sit down, relax, and think it through, listen to your own thoughts in calm, maybe for the very first time in your life.

 

If you don’t know what it is, ask yourself, “where do I want to be in 10 years?”.

“Are you moving towards that goal, or do you want to ask yourself, the very same question, in 10 years again?”.

[Author]

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