Hypergamy in action

[~BSParticipant 3266]

BPD is no joke. Glad your eyes are open, but you seriously need to try to get out of that relationship.

The only way you’d even think about salvaging the relationship is if she actually realizes she has a problem and is seeing professional help. Even then, you’re in for a rough time. Best of luck…

PS – I know you’re a cop, but having a weapon in a house with a BPD is a really really really etc etc bad idea. Even under lock and key, it’s a horrible idea. She’s not an child, she’ll be able find a way to access it.

"He didn't marry until now, so he won't ever do it. Think about it, why would a man like him ever marry? It's too late to catch him. " ~some cunt

[BoarParticipant]

Tired-Cop wrote:

And I am starting fear that she is comparing us.

She already has. And when it comes down to Win, Lose or Draw. Try you damndest to lose. You will come out the better for it.

sidecar wrote:

I believe Florida is also notorious for lifetime alimony.

See a lawyer. Start divorce proceedings immediately in whatever state you are currently in. Do it yesterday.

Look before you leap. You may be her relocation ticket to sunnier climes and then you become her meal ticket when that ‘tight little box’ wants to strut around the beach Chads while you pay all her bills.

Let me put it to you this way? If you would not pay to f~~~ a woman, then why would you pay for a woman to f~~~ someone else? Because that is what will happen if you go through with this.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[SuperBeeParticipant 65]

Rhino wrote:

gentlemen

Totally agree !!!

Life turns on a dime

[Freeman_KParticipant 3524]

Understanding what is going on makes all the difference, you can now make educated decision about your future and eat the consequences as per taken decision, while mitigating risks.

Whatever decision is taken, no looking back afterwards.

The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny

[SuperBeeParticipant 65]

You can make a lot of compromises regarding a relationship,but when it comes to work you absolutely have to play on the safe side.
5 years to retire and take such risks ???
That would be insane.
Just imagine if everything goes wrong in Florida (as the other guys mentioned)…would you ever forgive yourself ?

Life turns on a dime

[Anonymous 11]

TiredCop. I know you’re tired. Being under a BPD’s spell is a very precarious place to be.

Be careful, be aware that BPDs are notorious for both false DV and rape claims. They are highly dangerous to handle. Be very careful. Learn what you can about BPD. You can easily use their mental illness for your very own safe escape if you play the game right.

[OrlandoParticipant 833]

I really don’t think you two will be together for a long time. My guess is that she will monkey branch at some point, and not because you have done anything wrong.

If it were me, I would do the 5 years and get the retirement. If she can’t allow that, then isn’t that kind of a red flag in itself?

[AwakenedParticipant 35201]

Tired-Cop wrote:

she is wanting me to walk away from a career where I have 5 years to go until retirement. She “needs” me to move to Florida and be with her there because of her issues. She is a severe BPD

I stopped reading when I got to this point.

1. Don’t be stupid !!! Keep your job, and retire!!! You have much more invested in your job then you do in this lil cupcake/fruitcake

2. Serve her papers, get divorced before you really own this mess!!!

3. You know that these are your ONLY SANE options !! Are you just looking for confirmation ??

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[BadgerParticipant 2277]

Tired-Cop: I suggest you go to an Internet search engine and type in Women Manipulation Techniques and look at some of the websites to see what is being used against you. Beautiful or hot women generally get men who are more eager to connect and concede to their wishes than women who are plainer. They realize that and aren’t above taking advantage of it. In this situation if appears it is what she wants and what benefits her. So you need to look at what you want and what benefits you, as so many of the above have aptly stated.

[Anonymous 1]

Explain to me how a beta raper(because bring your man to know the new husband and make them friends is like a mind rape to my eyes) can be a NAWALT, then I will think about the rest.

[SolidParticipant 7520]

Only one thing that I can say, AWALT

All other brothers have excellent answers, I have nothing more to contribute or add, I can just aplaude their knowledge.

[EndOfDatesParticipant 51]

Sorry man, but BPD = she will never be happy and won’t let you be either. She is clearly already intent on discarding the success and plans of your life in favor of hers.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Boar wrote:

Look before you leap.

Definitely. Always see a lawyer before doing anything. Then see another lawyer to get a second opinion. But the longer he stays in the marriage the more it’s going to cost him. I believe he said it’s his new wife. That implies a short term marriage, which is a huge advantage in a divorce. If it’s short enough he might even be able to get it annulled.

But if he waits, he’s hosed.

It’s basically a choice between divorcing her right now where he is, or waiting until she divorces him in Florida, and Florida is not the place where a man wants to be divorced.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10910]

sidecar wrote:

Boar wrote:

Look before you leap.

It’s basically a choice between divorcing her right now where he is, or waiting until she divorces him in Florida, and Florida is not the place where a man wants to be divorced.

Sir, you beat me to it.
Indeed check the divorce laws in Florida. The pay cut isn’t the only cut you would be getting. Good Luck.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[~BSParticipant 3266]

I don’t know if the op considered this yet, but his pension and other retirement assets may also be in jeopardy.

He will definitely need legal help.

"He didn't marry until now, so he won't ever do it. Think about it, why would a man like him ever marry? It's too late to catch him. " ~some cunt

[KeymasterKeymaster]

she is wanting me to walk away from a career where I have 5 years to go until retirement. She “needs” me to move to Florida. She is a severe BPD.

This stands out as the biggest red flag here.

First of all, “severe BPD” doesn’t exist — as far as I am concerned. Go ahead and call it denial, but I just call it bad behavior. For example, a woman I grew up with told me her man didn’t want to go through with the wedding, so he backed out the day before… and when she’s telling me this, she says “He’s Bi Polar”.

No. He’s perfectly fine, SANE and reasonable. He just didn’t want to marry her. Who can blame him? She refused to accept this, so she tells herself he’s “bi polar”.

Your woman doesn’t “NEED” you to move to Florida.
She just NEEDS to know if she can drag you by the leash.

One of the worst things a man can ever do, is change his life direction because of what a woman wants… or listen to what she “needs” you to do.

Badger wrote:

Tired-Cop: I suggest you go to an Internet search engine and type in Women Manipulation Techniques

http://www.lovepanky.com/women/understanding-men/how-to-manipulate-men

http://www.wikihow.com/Manipulate-Men

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1251655/Six-brides-used-dirty-tricks-engagement-ring-finger.html

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[experiencedParticipant]

You met her didn’t you?
Don’t get caught by “one-itis”.
She should be happy… in Florida women often get everything, including the unmentionable “contract”.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[DoneParticipant 21]

Tired-cop,

First of all, thank you for protecting the good hard working people of your community.

I don’t have great advise, this is one you’ll have to fight your own way through. I hope you find the right path for you. Notice I say for you, not for her.

It’s so easy to say, probably not easy to do…but I think you should start to extract yourself from her. Start by not being responsive, make sure you’re controlling the finances and reach out to your friends – your real friends. They probably can see things that perhaps you don’t even see. I watched a friend go through much the same thing and I made the mistake of not talking to him. He called me out later saying I should have said something – he was right! Give your friends a chance to do it for you.

Sometimes the light's all shining on me!

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Hi brother, and thank you for your service in law enforcement, and also for your OP.

Tired-Cop wrote:

I have spent the last year making trips to Florida trying to get a job in my field, without much luck.

What you shared here ^ is a painful reminder to the plight I was once in. After 2 marriages spanning 16 years of my life, that is what it boiled down to for me…

16 years of jumping through never ending hoops/s~~~ tests/wasted time/energy/money/more money/and so on.

Don’t be me, 16 years of my life gone, trying to satisfy the insatiable, only to have them both end in divorce.

I could type for days on end, in regards to the crash & burn & the heavy extraction toll of it all…

But honestly, I would prefer not to. Living through all that hell & s~~~ was way more than enough & I don’t care much for revisiting anymore than absolutely necessary…

In my view, in this case, I consider it to be so. As the other gents have already covered, don’t let your retirement go up in smoke.

If it were law & I were an officer, I would arrest you for even considering it, or at least write you a citation.

Don’t let her f~~~ you out of that sir.

[Man SoloParticipant 111]

Here, you’re speaking to the voices of experience. You are on the inside of a bubble. We are on the outside looking in, screaming “Nooooo!!!!” I guarantee you that all the men on this site who have been with women with BPD will all tell you the exact same thing that they are nothing but TROUBLE and have the power to ruin your life if they so choose. My last girlfriend was a an absolute babe with an insatiable appetite for sex and BPD. I didn`t know about MGTOW at the time but had the presence of mind to pull the plug on the relationship before she had the chance to ruin me. I left the relationship feeling emotionally crippled and out of pocket. I had to endure constant put downs from her in order to get what I wanted and she was constantly trying to use me as her puppet. There is no cure for BPD – God knows I tried to find it. Do what is best for you!! Let her sort herself out. Good luck brother!

"Marriage is a good way to meet someone you hate and then buy them a house'

[Author]

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