Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › How To Tell Your Mum That You're A MGTOW / MGTOW Monk…
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sidecar 2 years, 3 months ago.
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I don’t feel a need to specifically tell my mother that I’m a MGTOW man.
I have already told her as much without using the acronym. She already knows my fears about getting divorce raped. She already knows how I feel about the way society treats and portrays men etc.
She still doesn’t believe the horrors that are out there waiting for men these days. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell her tales of men getting slaughtered in court or by false domestic violence charges etc. She has even seen her friend’s sons get slaughtered in family court etc. She still just doesn’t understand the gigantic risk that men have to undertake if they decide to sign a marriage contract. You just have to get over this and go your own way.
To me it sounds like you are concerned with what your mother thinks. I understand this. I went through it as well. My advice is to simply state your position that you are not going to take the risk of ruining your life for marriage and children…. done. Then refuse to engage in the topic ever again. This is a rite of passage for any man regardless of the issue. Standing your own ground and refusing to allow people to influence you in a way that would be to your detriment.
When I started doing this in my own life, I was amazed at how quickly people stopped challenging my beliefs. People respected my decisions even if they didn’t agree. At the very least they would shut up about whatever the topic was. I wasn’t a dick, I just refused to engage in an argument. Done.
#MANOUT
My question is, how can I get my Mum to accept that I do not want a modern woman, because they are so bad, and that I am not interested in sex/women, nowadays?
You can’t.
Can you guys give me any advice/help on this sensitive issue? I don’t know what to do, apart from to continue making-up excuses and trying to avoid the topic.
Just say that the topic is not open for discussion.
I know that my MGTOW Monk status means that I will be the last of my family line, but I cannot have children just to satisfy some sort of Blue Pill Guilt-Trip of not carrying-on my family name; that is just insane/ridiculous …
Yes.
That shaming tactic is yet to come. Steel yourself for it.
I don’t tell them all that. I just say that I have no interest in kids and marriage. I think at this point (me being 33) my parents have pretty much come to grips with the fact they’re not getting grand kids.
Anonymous0A shame your mother isnt willing to be more understanding, however I would not bother telling her. She wont and cant understand.
Why does she need to know?
When she asks you about girl friends tell her its a waste of money, or that thats simply none if her concern. Could tell her your gay, but that may not be what you want to do.(I dont recomend the latter unless it is true in your case, could cause you problems later if not the case.)
My own example is that my own mother does not know I am MGTOW but understands and respects my position of no childeren and no women.
You are not entitled to tell your mom anything or everything about your life. It’s none of her goddamn business anyway. All she wants is a daughter-in-law to talk to at the occasional coffee shop and some grandkids to spoil.
She doesn’t give a s~~~ about YOUR personal feelings in the matter. Very few ever do. She thinks that because she decided to give birth to you instead of choosing the abortion route, she’s entitled to a few grandkids from you and that you should get married to a woman that you don’t even respect. Just as long as SHE gets her grandkids, she’s all set.
Your father gets it. Mine sure did.
My father was 61 when I was born. Already retired, so he was witness to all the times I learned how to sit up, to crawl, then to walk and talk, and then he saw me grow into a man even though my mom divorced him when I was four years old because she wanted more money than what his savings and his pension could provide.
Before he died at the age of 91(nearly two years ago), he told me to not ever do anything that wouldn’t be in MY best interests. “As long as you’re happy with your life, and having the ability to keep a roof over your head and to take care of yourself, you are successful, son. Don’t ever forget that.”Great advice coming from a man who landed on Omaha Beach in the 1944 D-Day invasion of France, who fought the Germans in a day-by-day close brush with death, who earned the Silver and Bronze Stars, and two Purple Hearts, and then had to fight my mom in the courts when she tried to extract $4,000 a month from him in alimony and child support payments(she failed, thank God).
My mother is another matter altogether.
She is mentally ill, has some form of Multiple Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Syndrome, and was abusive whenever she didn’t get her way. When she remarried in 1990, it was to an Air Force sergeant who became our legal dad in no time, and she thought she could take what she wanted from the benefits of being a military dependent. Sad enough to say, an Air Force sergeant doesn’t get paid as much as she hoped for. She gave him the “it’s me or the military” speech and he bowed to her wishes and left the service instead of the option of re-enlisting for a final tour that would have made him eligible for a 20-year pension. He worked three jobs to support her financial demands and the needs of seven children. This wasn’t enough. She just complained “you’re never around anymore!” This coming from a woman who would give him two days of the silent treatment and no sex for three months because his paycheck was $10 less than she expected.
But she didn’t work at all. Not even a part-time job to bolster our finances. “Taking care of the family IS my job.” She claimed, while choosing to mostly ignore us because she wanted to watch TV all day, be on the phone with her friends, or going around the corner to our neighborhood church because she wanted to play the organ.
When he got home from work, she’d demand that he take her SHOPPING. Nothing that she wanted to get for HIM or anything. We had a second car, so she could have gone shopping while he was at work, but she demanded that he accompany her because “we need to be doing things together.”
Many wives demand that, which is why you see so many miserable husbands accompanying their wives at the stores. They don’t need to be there for any reason. It’s just because SHE made them go along for no real reason at all.
They divorced in 2001. I was 16 years old. I saw my legal father age 20 years overnight as he was realizing how he was going to live on barely 20 percent of his take-home pay. My mom demanded that I tell the courts that he was “an abusive pedophile” just so she could get a higher payoff. I refused to commit perjury on her behalf, so that’s when she began getting physically abusive, and screaming at me about how I “ruined her life” and now she has to get a job because “your lazy-ass worthless father refuses to pay me more”. I began staying away from the house more to keep away from her.
That was how it was for a year and a half. I left home at the age of 18 and was staying with friends by the time I graduated high school. Two of my sisters had already left home because my mother was turning abusive on them because they wouldn’t hand over their paychecks to her when they were trying to save up enough money to get their own place anyway. Shortly before I enlisted in the Army, my father regained custody of the four younger kids because my mom was deemed “mentally incompetent” for the responsibility. She never got full custody again.
And after all that, my mom thought she was the master of my fate, right down to what kind of woman I should be settling down with so I could give her some grandkids and a daughter-in-law to hang out with. She insisted over the phone, “Your future wife should be STRONG like I am!”
She hung up the phone when I laughed like crazy.
After I left the Army, she had her moments where she would insist I have some fun and not settle down right away. Then two or three days later, she’d scream abuse over the phone and call me a “selfish asshole” because “the right girl for you is going to bed in tears because you won’t find her and marry her and give her the life and children she deserves!”
I haven’t spoken to her in four years. From what I’ve heard, she hit rock-bottom after her FOURTH marriage failed, from which she received NOTHING, and she is now homeless and living in and out of shelters. She’s capable of getting a job, but she doesn’t want one because she expects one of her kids to take care of her now that we’re all grown, even though none of us are willing to be under the same roof as her. One of my brothers is in prison doing hard time so he’s not a candidate. Another one broke mentally from her years of abuse and he’s in an assisted living facility. My third brother is suffering from drug abuse and is mostly unemployed. The jobs he can get are nothing but entry-level for less than $1,000 a month. And none of my three sisters will ever take her in.
So, it’s kinda hard to try to take any advice from her seriously when her opinions change day-to-day, along with her personality, and when her own decisions that she made just about destroyed her entire life and she knows she has no future.I told my parents that my position is an unconditional no vote.
A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!
OP,
Based on what you describe, I grew up in a household very similar to yours, meaning my parents had the traditional/loving marriage, and I was VERY close to my mother. Extremely close.
Having said that, this is precisely why I can’t relate to your question – if you are as close to your mother as I was (she passed away when I was in my early 20’s) I would simply be 100% transparent with her and state the truth.
Maybe your mother isn’t as old school and upfront as mine was. My mom literally told me she didn’t think women should have the right to vote, because they were too emotional.
Granted, I never had to have this conversation with my mom because she passed away when I was too young, but if she was alive today I would simply give her the God’s honest, direct, no punches pulled, transparent truth:
“Mom, women today are whores. They use Facebook, tinder, and all of this s~~~ to hook up endlessly. I do not trust them to be in a monogamous relationship, and I don’t want a relationship with a slutty girl. Period”.
I don’t know your age. If memory serves correct you are in your early 20’s (based on previous postings), but I would just be myself and state the truth.
As an aside, I’m in my late 30’s now and have an older sister who has several children. And, this is to Key Masters point about women wanting YOU to get married/have kids for their OWN benefit. My sister has used her own kids as a reason for why I should get married and have kids –
“My kids need cousins to play with”.
It’s unbelievable how selfish women are. I know that if I brought this up at face value to her she would brush it off as a simple “text” she sent to me, but it does’ t matter, she was shamelessly using her own kids as mechanism/tool to guilt trip me into getting married and having kids.
That is simply insane.
And, to be clear, I tell my sister point blank why I’m not married (I follow the very advice I’m giving to you); the contrast is in calling her out on her own selfish “requests” which will be met with denial.
Females do this $hit all the time. She has used her kids as a guilt tripping tool with me in the past. They love me and I am the only Uncle who plays with them and has fun with them, but she uses guilt tripping about her kids to try and tell me I need to not live in a downtown area and live the bachelor life.
They’re not my fu$King kids. I’m just an Uncle. I’m not going to get married and alter my life and have kids so her children have “cousins to play with”. That is insane. Only a woman could utter those words and think NOTHING of it.
Last time I went to her house for Christmas I was enjoying a coupe glasses of wine and playing with my nephew and nieces. We were just having a GREAT time. I was tickling them and just horsing around. Anyway, my sister had invited some 30 something single chick over for Christmas dinner. I introduced myself when she walked in, then never looked at her again.
She was standing in the kitchen as I was enjoying playing with my sisters kids. I heard her make a comment to my sister like – “Look over there”, as in “they are being too rowdy”. Because we were throwing pillows around on the couch just playing and having fun. I was literally enjoying my time with the kids so much that I didn’t realize that my sister invited this single female over for me to “hopefully” connect with.
It dawned on me later that the girl was probably jealous/feeling neglected that I would rather play with the kids than even talk to her, so she tried to interrupt my enjoyment with the kids.
Fu$King $unt!
One more thought –
My patent reply to ANY woman who asks me “why aren’t you married?” <—and MANY times this has been asked of me by women (even married women) when I’m in a bar in a suit after work, it’s been a malformed “compliment” in their mind, because I must be an obvious “resource” so why not be married (?). Anyway, my patent reply (if I don’t want to stir up the pot) is –
“Because I’ve never met anyone I want to spend the rest of my life with”.
I’ve actually had responses of “That’s a really good answer”.
One time though, lol, when I was lit and some girl who was – 25, divorced, with 3 kids asked me this question. I looked her dead in the eyes and said LOUDLY –
“Because I don’t want to end up like YOU!”.
She IMMEDIATELY ran for cover. She didn’t know what to do with herself. She moved seats behind her friend at the bar lol. I had already ordered food to go from the bar (because I knew 30 minutes prior I wasn’t wasting time on this chick). The food got there RIGHT before this. As I was paying and about to leave, the chick in question started shouting all things unholy to me in the bar. I looked the bartender dead in the eye (another male) gave him a s~~~ eating grin without even looking at the girl, and told him “thank you man! Have a good night!”. I was thinking about this forum the entire time lol.
Resident cynic.
Thanks for the answers, guys. There have been some really interesting answers here, particularly from KeyMaster, Macho, Eric Lauder, and AncientWisdom.
I do not think that my mother will ever accept the truth of the current state of the relationship between the sexes in the modern outside world, since she is so Blue Pill and since she has been sheltered so much from the outside world by my father. I have tried to tell my mother how bad modern women are, but she just brushes it all aside with Blue Pill platitudes. So, in my case, I think that it may be pointless for me to be any more blunt with her than I have already been. I will have to give it more thought; i.e. do I continue making excuses and/or avoiding the issue, or do I tell her the truth more forcefully?
My father was 61, when I was born. Already retired, so he was witness to all the times I learned how to sit up, to crawl, then to walk and talk, and then he saw me grow into a man, even though my mom divorced him when I was 4 years old, because she wanted more money than what his savings and his pension could provide.
Before he died at the age of 91 (nearly two years ago), he told me to not ever do anything that wouldn’t be in MY best interests. “As long as you’re happy with your life, and having the ability to keep a roof over your head and to take care of yourself, you are successful, son. Don’t ever forget that.”
Great advice coming from a man who landed on Omaha Beach in the 1944 D-Day invasion of France, who fought the Germans in a day-by-day close brush with death, who earned the Silver and Bronze Stars, and two Purple Hearts, and then had to fight my mom in the Courts when she tried to extract $4,000 a month from him in alimony and child support payments (she failed, thank God).
My mother is another matter altogether. She is mentally ill, has some form of Multiple Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Syndrome, and was abusive whenever she didn’t get her way. When she re-married in 1990, it was to an Air Force Sergeant who became our legal dad in no time, and she thought she could take what she wanted from the benefits of being a military dependent. Sad enough to say, an Air Force Sergeant doesn’t get paid as much as she hoped for. She gave him the “it’s me or the military” speech and he bowed to her wishes and left the service, instead of the option of re-enlisting for a final tour that would have made him eligible for a 20-year pension. He worked three jobs to support her financial demands and the needs of seven children. This wasn’t enough. She just complained “you’re never around anymore!” This coming from a woman who would give him two days of the silent treatment and no sex for three months, because his paycheck was $10 less than she expected.
But she didn’t work at all. Not even a part-time job to bolster our finances. “Taking care of the family IS my job” she claimed, while choosing to mostly ignore us, because she wanted to watch TV all day, be on the phone with her friends, or going around the corner to our neighborhood church because she wanted to play the organ.
When he got home from work, she’d demand that he take her SHOPPING. Nothing that she wanted to get for HIM or anything. We had a second car, so she could have gone shopping while he was at work, but she demanded that he accompany her because “we need to be doing things together.” Many wives demand that, which is why you see so many miserable husbands accompanying their wives at the stores. They don’t need to be there for any reason. It’s just because SHE made them go along for no real reason at all.
They divorced in 2001. I was 16 years old. I saw my legal father age 20 years overnight as he was realizing how he was going to live on barely 20 percent of his take-home pay. My mom demanded that I tell the Courts that he was “an abusive pedophile”, just so she could get a higher payoff. I refused to commit perjury on her behalf, so that’s when she began getting physically abusive, and screaming at me about how I “ruined her life”, and now she has to get a job because “your lazy-ass worthless father refuses to pay me more”.
I began staying away from the house more to keep away from her. That was how it was for a year and a half. I left home at the age of 18 and was staying with friends by the time I graduated high school. Two of my sisters had already left home, because my mother was turning abusive on them, because they wouldn’t hand over their paychecks to her when they were trying to save up enough money to get their own place anyway. Shortly before I enlisted in the Army, my father regained custody of the four younger kids because my mom was deemed “mentally incompetent” for the responsibility. She never got full custody again.
And after all that, my mom thought she was the master of my fate, right down to what kind of woman I should be settling down with, so I could give her some grand-kids and a daughter-in-law to hang out with. She insisted over the phone, “Your future wife should be STRONG like I am!” She hung up the phone when I laughed like crazy.
After I left the Army, she had her moments where she would insist I have some fun and not settle down right away. Then, two or three days later, she’d scream abuse over the phone and call me a “selfish asshole”, because “the right girl for you is going to bed in tears because you won’t find her and marry her and give her the life and children she deserves!”
I haven’t spoken to her in four years. From what I’ve heard, she hit rock-bottom after her FOURTH marriage failed, from which she received NOTHING, and she is now homeless and living in and out of shelters. She’s capable of getting a job, but she doesn’t want one, because she expects one of her kids to take care of her now that we’re all grown, even though none of us are willing to be under the same roof as her. One of my brothers is in prison doing hard time, so he’s not a candidate. Another one broke mentally from her years of abuse and he’s in an assisted living facility. My third brother is suffering from drug abuse and is mostly unemployed. The jobs he can get are nothing but entry-level for less than $1,000 a month. And none of my three sisters will ever take her in.
So, it’s kinda hard to try to take any advice from her seriously when her opinions change day-to-day, along with her personality, and when her own decisions that she made just about destroyed her entire life and she knows she has no future.
Thank you, mgtow_85, for relaying your story to me. You, your father, and the rest of your family, have all suffered sheer hell, at the hands of your mother. It seems to me that she does have some kind of psychological condition, if you don’t mind me saying. I cannot begin to imagine the crap that you’ve been through, due to her. You have my best wishes for a happier future, because you deserve it. A lot of guys on here deserve a happier future, for one reason or another. A lot of women do seem to be narcissistic, nowadays. Best to just avoid women nowadays.
My mother’s father, who survived the two World Wars and left me his medals when he died, put a lot of things in life down to luck, but said that he only married his wife because ‘she was a good cook’. She was a bloody good cook, though; women had to be, back then, unlike now. After experiencing/seeing so much badness in the two World Wars, he just wanted to be happy in peace-time, and he was wise enough to know when a situation was ‘going off’ and required a move. I still miss his old WW2 stories, particularly of D-Day…
So, in my case, I think that it may be pointless for me to be any more blunt with her than I have already been. I will have to give it more thought; i.e. do I continue making excuses and/or avoiding the issue, or do I tell her the truth more forcefully?
This the train to nowheresville. You will NEVER get through to her.
It’s pointless – you’ve said so yourself.
Every time that the subject comes up, cut it short and leave. No need to be nasty about it.
She’ll make the connection quick enough.
My question is, how can I get my Mum to accept that I do not want a modern woman[/quote
First of all, reject any advice above that would have you disengage from your family. That is ruthless and cruel and justifies women’s behavior such as SpiritRR’s ex wife. You love your parents and they you.
Secondly, Just speak the truth as you understand it and that is all. Sometimes, it is difficult to convince people within a short period of time. Some of my blue pill friends (which I will NEVER discard because friendships, for the most part, especially with men are valuable.) are slowly coming around to what is proper in these times. Your mother not being convinced will not be a major issue in your relationship.
Your mother may or may not come around. Your goal is to speak the truth in love and cherish your relationship with your mother. Convincing others takes time…….
This technique has been a freeing experience for me in all aspects of seeking what is true, beautiful and good. Speak the truth, engage in debate and relish in your close relationship with your parents.
God bless, Michael
Just keep saying ‘one day, I’ll get married’ but don’t actually get married. Playing on her denial is the kindest way to do it. Or just say you won’t get married. Your choice.
Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman
“I’m intelligent.”
Don't care
So what if she’s your mother? Pull no punches.
: “So when are you finally going to meet a nice girl, settle down, ‘man up’, and give me grandchildren?”
: “All my friends who got married got destroyed in divorce. All my friends who have kids got screwed for child support. Sometimes for kids that weren’t even theirs. The rest are just miserable. I have no intention of going through either. So why are you wishing that upon me? Are you volunteering to pay all the costs for when, not if, she turns out not to be a nice girl after all? I didn’t think so. So stop bringing this s~~~ up if you’re not going to stand behind your words and put your money where your mouth is. You say you want grandchildren? Well you’re on the fast track to losing your son. End of discussion. Do not bring it up again.”- AuthorPosts
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