How Do I Un-Pussyfie Myself?

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

Hey Guys,

I’ll jump right in and say it. I am a huge pussy. I’m not very assertive, I don’t stand up for myself, and I let bitches walk all over me.

I wasn’t always this way. I got bullied a lot when I was younger, and I stood up for myself then. Once I started getting bruises, my single mother got involved and notified my teachers. This led to me getting beat up even more. I become increasingly dependent on the school system to fix my problems for me. They never mended the issues I had with bullies.

My single mother played mind games with me when I was a teenager. Her discipline techniques were always extremely manipulative. She was always trying to mold me into being the daughter she never had. When I got zits, she had me put makeup on and go to school. That was f~~~ed up…I really missed out by not having a positive male role model in my developmental years. I’m now really docile and passive.

I’ve been working at an office for the past year. I’m known as the work horse, I get s~~~ done in a very systematic way. Through sheer luck, I recently got promoted to Office Coordinator, which is a middle management position. I want to say it was been fun, but I’d be lying. There are so many people that I work with that are trying to get something from me (80% are women). I don’t have the assertiveness skills to say no to these people directly. I cower in fear that I might p~~~ them off and that they might try to sabotage me in some way. So I indirectly say no to them or submit to them.

So am I f~~~ed for life, or is there still a way to obtain these skills? I’m 21 and I hope it is not too late.

Thanks guys!

-System Addict

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[Anonymous 18]

You are young brother. You can’t change anything from past. Recognizing what bothers you is a step in the right direction.

To fix what you perceive as docile behavior – do one thing that is completely unrelated to your work and the women/men there but something you don’t think you are cut out to do. Something out of your comfort zone. Just one thing.

Some ideas would be (if you have never done them) – start lifting, join a sports club, go camp for a weekend by yourself- buy s~~~ you need to do so, pick a new hobby. The easiest of all is pick something you know you want to do but have been putting it off. We all have something.

The key here is to gain confidence. Unlike the fake it till you make it idea I believe in going through the painstaking process of becoming confident. The best thing about confidence in your situation is if you show it you won’t need to turn people down. They won’t ask you in first place.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

Anonymous wrote:

The best thing about confidence in your situation is if you show it you won’t need to turn people down. They won’t ask you in first place.

Words of wisdom. Thanks brother.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

You are were I was in 1990.I was hired in an office of women.Plan your escape and migrate to a new gig.Working with women just sucks.It will never change.

So are you suggesting that I should find a new occupation devoid of women? Like manual labor or the military? What did you do after leaving your 9-5 office gig in the 90’s?

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

No, it’s not too late. I used to be like you. I had a very hard time standing up for myself or saying no. The way I look at it (at least in my case), you will get to the point where your brain will FORCE you to start saying no. I remember a job I had that was absolutely killing me. I was responsible for over 300 customers. It got to the point where I actually had to stop giving a s~~~ whether or not I got back to all of their emails and phone calls. This was very unlike me, but my brain forced me to say “f~~~ it, I can’t keep up with this anymore.”

That’s just one example. I am like that now. I guess over time you just start to get hardened. You stop worrying about being a people pleaser. You have to…….if you want to keep your sanity.

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

Plan your escape dude… return to school for technical.Mgt… it’s a rough road.Fast money and nothing but head ache.Also, wave of folks get fired off through the years.
A pal chose the mgt. road back in the day.I went into geek land.I’m still making good money, he got fired off as a middle mgr and never recovered.

Thanks for the advice. You have a lot of helpful wisdom. I am working an an audio engineering degree. I’ve been taking 5 credits at a time online while working 40+ hours a week at the office. I really enjoy the subject and plan to have my own professional studio in the future. I obviously don’t want to work in the office forever. It is a means to an end at this point. The money is okay, but I think that it is taking over my life to be honest. I’m stressed out when I get home and sometimes I don’t even work on my craft. I guess you’re right. It may be time for a change. I’ll have to find something that pays the bills and allows me to take more than 5 college credits at a time. Maybe a s~~~ job where nothing is really expected of me! lol

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Well… 80% of it is having the WILL. So you’re on your way. But you’re FAR from screwed because you’re only 21!! That’s the best news. You’re like 20 years ahead of many who don’t even WANT to snap out of it. You’ve only been “an adult” for 3 years. That’s a SPIT in the ocean. When you’re only 30 you will have been an adult for 12 years. That’s 4X as long! So put it into perspective and don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s been said iit takes a man 1/2 a lifetime to de program himself from all the s~~~ he has been conditioned do to swallow since the crib.

Welcome to MGTOW and the forums, by the way.

How Do I Un-Pussyfie Myself?

Make “NO” you’re new favorite word. It has to be your FIRST answer. Even though you want to say yes to be agreeable, get in the habit of blurting out “NO”. Not “sorry I can’t because……”. Not “well I don’t really feel like it because……”. No explanation. No apology. Just “no”.

Or even better ……….. (pause before saying it)…….. “mmmmmm no”.

“NO” is your first, best defense against all this s~~~. You don’t really need much else. Then let other people fall over themselves to turn your “no” into a “yes”. Don’t be doing the work for them just to be “nice”. No.

Sometimes “no” isn’t even required. You can just smile and not answer at all.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 12]

The best advice I can give you about women is to stop seeing them as something special. this doesn’t mean you have to hate them either. Just look at them as human beings and very flawed ones at that, don’t think about how you can get into their pants as it probably isn’t going to work anyway and you will just pussify yourself more and more.

Be willing to have high standards and be willing to walk away if the woman isn’t good enough for you or is expecting you to jump through hoops. So you may not get to touch her t~~~, who cares.

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

Keymaster wrote:

Make “NO” you’re new favorite word.

Thanks KeyMaster. No is going to by my word of the week. I will post results if they are exciting enough.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I agree with all the previous posts. I would add take a martial arts class. Whether it’s western boxing, krav maga, or one of the Oriental arts, does not matter. Just find a class within your reach — except not one full of women students obviously.

My personal history, and many fellow students I met over the years, attest that learning a fighting skill is an excellent confidence builder. Besides, it’s good exercise.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[KingOfTheSeaParticipant 1270]

RoyDal wrote:

I agree with all the previous posts. I would add take a martial arts class. Whether it’s western boxing, krav maga, or one of the Oriental arts, does not matter. Just find a class within your reach — except not one full of women students obviously.
My personal history, and many fellow students I met over the years, attest that learning a fighting skill is an excellent confidence builder. Besides, it’s good exercise.

I was just reading something like this the other day, about how one of the biggest fears we have in society is the fear of someone attempting to hit us and how most of us have never been in a physical confrontation because of this. Apparently, engaging in regular (but monitored) physical confrontation curbs this because you know somewhere in your subconscious when you go about your day-to-day that you’ll (probably) survive if things get heated with someone else.

[UntamedParticipant]

Hi, SA. Thank you for sharing. The pussification of young men is a big problem in our society. Weemins and their Fem-Masters have been on a crusade to feminize men for a long time. They come up with insane notions like letting boys be boys and playing with guns would drive ’em into violence. It’s a crock of s~~~ but “concerned” mothers are easy to manipulate.
You have very wise answers in this thread.
Practicing “NO” is a good start. And not just “for this week” but for this LIFE. A little “yes” can send you to jail without passing by start. I’m serious about that. Your best friend as a man going your own way is “NO”. Practice it every day until everyone in your entourage understand you won’t be pushed over.
I used to be like you, which drove me straight into White Knighting in my deluded Blue-Pill past.
You’re middle management now. Impose your presence and will or those c~~~s gonna eat you alive!

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

007 (Reborn) wrote:

So are you suggesting that I should find a new occupation devoid of women? Like manual labor or the military? What did you do after leaving your 9-5 office gig in the 90’s?

Females are not the problem and avoiding them is definitely not the solution. The problem is that men have been taught to place the value of females higher than the value of themselves. From now on, all you have to do to neutralize this programming is treat them as true equals. Judge the females in your life the same way you would the men…. and if a female doesn’t measure up, behave toward her the same way you would to a man in the same situation.

No special treatment, no unique considerations, no lowered standards, no accepting excuses, no deference, no preference, no protection and no donations. Keymaster is right about the no… once you develop the ability to see females and males as being exactly the same thing, you not only will stop being a pussy, but you won’t even have to say no because the type of people who would try to get something from you for nothing simply will never have a chance to try it (except for bums at stop lights which you’ll never escape from).

Imagine a situation where you are approached by a strange guy. What’s he looking for? What’s he offering? Is he trying to sell you something? Is he going to mug you? Is he just crazy? Now imagine you’re approaching him and what is he thinking about you? Now make that guy a female. The only difference? Pussy. When you can remove pussy from the equation and treat females the same as men, you’ll no longer be pussified.. Then you can treat pussy like pussy if you so desire. Find it, be honest with it, take it or leave it and it doesn’t have anything to do with the female it’s attached to.

[NioZenParticipant 856]

Too late at 21? Bro, you’re just getting started!

Go beast mode. Lift weights, listen to aggressive music, do some martial arts, let the testosterone flow.

No need to take that aggression into the workplace though, channel it into assertiveness.

Attain riches, disregard bitches.

Go on youtube and play all the motivational videos you can find.

Listen to the words of my brothers above^ They know of what they speak. “NO” is your friend.

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is all that counts.

Become legend.

Another Zack Hemsey tune for all. This should be the MGTOW Beast Mode anthem!:

We only dream this bondage. Wake up and let it go. - Vivekananda

[John Woods 13Participant 2855]

You are afraid of the consequences if you stop trying to please everyone, but you have to ask yourself, would the consequences be worst than the current situation in which you hate your life? You will go crazy trying to please people, and you will get nothing in return but even more demands.
The good thing is that you realized this is a problem, and you are very young. You are so young that you can start everything over from zero, twice.
Start saying NO, and don’t back down! What’s the worst that can happen? Some bimbo will get upset? Who cares? Some guy will start sabotaging you and you might loose your job? You already hate this job. F~~~ them! Why would you try to please people you don’t care about and people who don’t care about you? Just say NO. It’s a powerful word and many of us here had to learn this the hard way, which is why I have it in my signature below.

The answer is NO. “I could but I won’t”. Memini murum!

[robotronParticipant 40]

I am in a upper management job and I hate it. I want to go back to being a techie. I can pull in the same money doing hands-on work without half of the bulls~~~. I’ve been putting out feelers for the last week or so and I think I’ll be gone by the end of the year. So don’t feel bad about it. Management jobs are not for everyone. I might seem off topic but I suppose the point is do what’s right for you. Find what you like, stick to your guns and go your own way. That is how you un-pussyfie yourself.

[ChadParticipant 5]

Lots of great advice here SA. And they’re correct, at 21 you’re just getting started!
One thing I could contribute here is to take the advice these guys give and MAKE A HABIT out of practicing it. Most people say in their youth is when you form those habits that stick with you for life but it’s not, it’s in your 20’s. It’s the time when you’re finally out on your own and living life for yourself. Start lifting weights now and when you’re 35 it’ll just be something you do. It won’t be a pain in the ass. And you’ll be a beast!
Start saying no and when you’re 30 it’ll be so natural that you won’t hesitate to say it when you should.
And forget about office jobs. If you’re in AE than get started now. Set up your studio and just go, learn the details as you can. Grab something flexible and part-time to supplement. And use that no in business as well. That is what pushed my business to support me full time. Never bend for a customer that doesn’t deserve it and never be afraid to say no. 9 times out if 10 they’ll still give you their business.

[Robert HallamParticipant 696]

I was a quasi blue pill up until I went through divorce. I wouldn’t say quite pussyfied but I knew the difference.

After one divorce I swore never again, and I am now so far red-pill that I’m actually past the colour spectrum into Alpha. Beta and Gamma Rays.

I would say divorce is one way, but there are still idiots that get married a second and third time. Got one brother that has lost four houses. .

[Cap285Participant 6007]

<============== First, emulate this guy. Grow some razor stubble, carry a gun, don’t take any guff from the other center in the face off circle.

Seriously, you’re young. Don’t sweat it.

Have you considered weight training? What about martial arts? What about the range? Go test drive a nice pistol.

The fact you’r a product of a single mother that didn’t become a criminal and wants to improve himself speaks volumes. Put all that s~~~ out of your head. It’s in the past. Don’t get p~~~ed. Learn from it. Not sure what you’re relationship is with your mom, but if you put her in her place, she’ll quit. Trust me on that one. Keep visits short or break contact if you have to. Many of us here do this as families tend not to agree with the MGTOW mindset.

Congratulations on your promotion. At work, keep it strictly business and do not help women. They won’t return the favor and will mock you for not wanting to participate in their stupid office parties or get p~~~ed if you don’t buy whatever their kid is selling (girl scout cookies, candy, etc.). Remember, 100% professional at work. You do have to be careful at work, but a no-nonsense look on your face will keep them at bay. Trust me on that as well.

Most people are completely phony and are putting on an act. When confronted, they back down. It’s all false bravado now. Be humble, but strike if you have to.

Keep working hard. Treat yourself to whatever you like. Much praise for trying to improve yourself. Good luck.

Fuck this planet.

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

Hi SA, there are asserstive skills courses of which you may benefit. The great thing is you can retrain your mind (the amygdala specifically) on how you act in situations rather than reacting. Google the ‘Meta Moment’. At first the thought of saying no is scary, though after you say it it feels exhilerating once all is said and done.

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

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