How do I go about this guys?

[FuckMeSpectator 215]

Seppuku stated “I’ve been just letting her keep thinking she is playing me, but it has taken an extreme amount of willpower to not just like slap her across her face sometimes, because I know everything”. The system WANTS you to lose control and slap her, DO NOT DO IT or you will regret it, and they will make sure of it….there is not a woman on the planet worth your freedom. No one needs to be around anyone who makes them feel violent, there are 6 billion people on the planet, find another one.

“Reactive people are also affected by their social environment, by the social weather. When people treat them well, they feel well: when people don’t they become defensive or protective. Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, empowering the weaknesses of other people to control them. The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values – carefully thought about, selected, and internalized values”. So, take it from someone who has been in the damn trenches like the rest of these guys…be PROACTIVE and walk away from this, you don’t need an active drug addict in your life.

You also stated “Well the reason I would want to tell her mom is because she does need some kind of help and her mom and step dad can easily afford it for her”. Don’t go down the co dependent road, you can’t help her, she can only help herself. Also don’t triangulate with her family and the other guy, your a MAN, you found this website, you have a set of b~~~~, exercise your free will and be proactive. Doc, Survivor, and Pig nailed it….listen to them please. Two choices: take the low road by f~~~ing her brains out and blowing a load on her face then standing up and telling her “your the best little whore I ever had” or take the high road and just walk away and go NO CONTACT!!! Your mixed up with the wrong person, set yourself free, don’t let her decide.

Much strength and courage to you…

Bubba

You think Chernobyl was bad? Wait until the ink drys on that marriage contract you just signed...we know, you just wanted sex and fun...you could have gotten that for $100.00 a couple times a month instead of DESTROYING your life!!!

[MemberParticipant 323]

You could always take the direct approach and tell her face to face…..” I know that you have cheated on me with at least one other person. I gave you a chance to come clean about it and you continued to lie to me. It saddens me that you have such little respect for me and your self to do such a thing. I gave you one chance and you blew it…..I don’t tolerate liars or cheaters in my life. Hope things work out for you (passive aggressive I know). We are through. Good bye”

If you say it calmly and sternly and don’t stay to hear her response it will definitely end the relationship with a BANG. Even if she was going to drop you for this other guy at some point the fact that you called her out on it and broke up with her will leave a large impression on her. Don’t be surprised if you hear from her in a week or even 6 months later. Just don’t let her back into your life because it will implode again once she has you back on the hook.

Oh and if you live with her have all our stuff packed and be moved out before you have this conversation with her. You don’t want to stick around after the break up message…….gives her way too much time to screw with you.

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

The way to deal with it is just like I said. Like a smart hound who has been abused. He waits till no one is watching and the door is not shut tight and he silently slips out digs under the fence and runs like hell.GOOD and smart way to leave is to avoid confrontation. That’s why I say silently. If it’s burning a hole in your belly to let her family know then do it a few days later after you are gone from a pay phone far from where you are living. ( Hi it’s me.She cheated on me so I left her and will never see her again. Bye). But thats really pointless. What do you expect? Her parents going to disown her?You think her mother is going to beat her with a stick? NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. They might be disappointed but in the end family is family and blood is blood. Time for you to pack it up when she is not home and leave like the wind. That woman is especially no f~~~ing good. Good luck to any one to try to find a woman that’s much better. Because most aren’t…Be glad shes not pregnant. Be glad you’re not married to her.Be glad if you dont have joint bank accounts. You should be gone within 24 hours. Better yet if you can go stay with friends or in a hotel till you know she’s gone to work or whatever. Rent a YouHaul and a storage and clean the place out of everything you own.Im going to be very blunt.I have seen this dozens of times. Woman sees you are at the end of your rope with her and the relationship and suddenly she throws the pussy at you to try to get pregnant. WARNING! Pussy comes with hooks!!!!Have you a plan in your head to be gone within 24 hours without her knowledge. .

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[The Moth Attracted to the FlameParticipant 2982]

Just dump her and worry about yourself. She’s obviously f~~~ing with you.

[CaliParticipant 753]

I have to admit, some of the guys made some very good points on why you should not tell the parents. MgtowWave has a great idea about how to tell the parents. Honestly, many of the people are right that it will probably do no good, but it would be the most righteous thing to do, and it would make the parents less likely to side with her. Just call them, lay out what happened, why you are hitting eject on this relationship, and then tell them, “I’m sorry this has to end like this, but there is no way I can ever trust your daughter again, and I thought you should have a heads up.”

Above all else, GET OUT OF THERE. The people here were right when they said DUMP HER. You have no reason to spend another hour in that relationship, so get clear. Also, make sure you watch your back, because she will almost certainly try to get you back, and, when she sees that she can’t get you back, she will likely try something to “get even” with you.

Again, keep us posted! We’re here for you, even if we do disagree on some things.

Just a misogynist virgin hiding away in his mother's basement. Nothing to see here...

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

“eventually moved in together ”

Dude, be the f~~~ careful, if she’s living with you, as it appears from what you wrote.

If your name is on the lease, take a day off work, a day when she’s at school, or away. Notify your friends about what you are going to do, and make sure you have witnesses when it occurs. Even cameras. I’m not kidding.

Go to the hardware store, and get all the door locks changed. DO it.
Dump her stuff outside. Never let her back in. When she comes back, you need your friend already inside videoing it for you. If she kicks off, you have it recorded.

Seriously, this could end VERY awkwardly for you if you dump her and then find that you both still only have one bed to sleep in. She’s going to get that bed, and the apartment, and all your stuff, if you don’t plan ahead. And the police will make sure of that, all she has to do is say she feels intimidated by you, and you’ll be arrested. There’s no rosy coloured solution to this.

I’m actually a very reasonable guy in most situations, but this situation has alarm bells ringing. I’m dead serious, been here, thought I could be reasonable, got f~~~ed, narrowly avoided getting a criminal record on her false allegations.

Protect yourself. I want you to get back on here telling us exactly how you have done that.

[OrlandoParticipant 833]

Pack your stuff and get out of the relations~~~. She is her parents little angel and no matter what you tell them, they will take her side. Doesn’t matter if you have all the evidence in the world.

She f~~~ed another man while away and she is most likely planning for your soon to come ejection.

Have some respect for yourself and bail on that mother f~~~er.

[SeppukuParticipant 20]

You guys are awesome want to thank you all for the advice. I am not a violent person so I wont go down that road. both our names are on the lease only because we got a good discount because she is a student, I know now that was dumb on my part but at the time everything was great. I’ve told my best friend a little about what is going on he is in the middle of buying a house and remodeling some things we agreed I can be his roommate when he is done. which we have been roommates before with no problems. Oh yeah our lease is up in about 2 months, so now i’m just trying to make sure I have a place for myself to go to first before I dump her.

[OgreParticipant 5863]

Play a scenario in your head for me. I’ll set the scene.

You have a PR on the bar for bench press and this girl walks up to you.

She compliments you on something your wearing and asks if you maybe wanted to meet some time. She tells you that she’s had a couple of boyfriends before and other than once or twice when she was out of the country.

She mentions that she’s done recreational drugs once or twice that you don’t consider a positive thing. She reaches out her hand to touch you on the cheek to seal the deal and get you to meet and you notice a fresh “I’m crazy” mark just up her forearm from her wrist.

Now, tell me that you are going to go on the first date instead of just going back to your set and forgetting the two of you ever spoke. Would you call that girls parents to tell her she’s f~~~ed up? You are allowing your history with this girl to influence your future.

The biggest problem is that you have been living with somebody that you don’t know at all, since she did all these things without you ever seeing the possibility that she would. The girl is a chameleon, just because she hasn’t gotten you booted yet doesn’t mean she isn’t one color shift away from making your life hell.

I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Extract as many assets as you can and leave. Immediately. You need to become The One That Got Away.

And never came back.

When her family asks what happened, and they will, put it to them directly and simply: “Your daughter is a lying, cheating, whore.” If that causes problems in her family, so be it. That is her problem, not yours. The moment she decided to cheat and lie is the moment she became unworthy of your concern.

[TheroniusParticipant 975]

I am going to have to agree with the guys here who say NOT to tell her parents.

Seppuku wrote:

Well the reason I would want to tell her mom is because she does need some kind of help and her mom and step dad can easily afford it for her

I don’t see how that’s your responsibility, or even any of your business. Do you really want to be part of her mental health program? Her parents will only, CAN only resent anything you say. They are parents.
I would arrange to escape with the minimum hassle and noise. I’d even find some way to start smuggling out anything valuable I had in the place. Hide it at someone’s house. If you don’t you will probably lose it.
Scamper away as quick as you can. Once you do, try not to ever meet again face-to-face, with her or the parents.. You can only lose, and I think you deserve better.

"I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin

[Anonymous 18]

Seppuku wrote:

she put a password lock on her phone guess what? it’s his birth date numbers I guessed it first try

Hey man you had had some very good advice here. But I’d just point out that what she did with her phone (quoting you), its over.

She is just one of those women. You didn’t know any better. Now you do. Denial would only delay the inevitable.

Open the self-respect manual. And eject. It’s time for her to experiment with someone else. Something tells me it won’t be the Russian guy.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Seppuku wrote:

Oh yeah our lease is up in about 2 months, so now i’m just trying to make sure I have a place for myself to go to first before I dump her.

You’ve already dumped her. Now you’re just looking for a place to live (and put your stuff) without her before she finds out. And that should be your number one top priority. You should already have your new place lined up and rented before your current lease expires in two months. If your current place allows you to switch to month to month renting after the lease expires, do so. If not, then just let it drop. Either way the first indicator she should have that all is not well is when she comes home from work (or wherever) one day and all your stuff is gone.

Whether or not you talk to her parents, just be sure you only do so after you are out and gone.

You probably also want to consult a lawyer to see what sort of common law marriage bulls~~~ she might try to hit you with and how to avoid it.

And in the future, never cohabitate. Ever.

[SeppukuParticipant 20]

Just confronted her about it showed her the text. I couldn’t take it any longer. She went to work and is texting me how she is trash and she wishes she were dead and if I want put her stuff out just do it . But it was denial until I showed the text messages. I feel kind of relived to get it all out now.

[SeppukuParticipant 20]

Thanks to all you guys for the support.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Seppuku wrote:

She went to work and is texting me how she is trash and she wishes she were dead and if I want put her stuff out just do it .

It’s likely that’s just a plea for sympathy in a bid for more time. Even if it isn’t, it’s not your problem. It’s something for professionals to handle. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline on her behalf and give them her contact info. Then box up her stuff and put it in a storage unit somewhere. Pre-pay one month. Deliver the storage unit number, address, and key to her parents. And you’re done. Congratulations.

Of course you could just toss all her stuff out on the street, but going to the effort of doing things this way is more gentlemanly.

[FullMetalExoParticipant 2383]

Thank you for sharing with us ! Im sure more experienced guys will give you more specific advice (and already did).

Seppuku wrote:

that is the russian thing to do is to tell friends you love them

yes, it is……. when you re with your best friends or family, having a party, drinking vodka, playing Broforce etc. (Source: im russian)

But…NOT in this situation as you clearly know now. Oh boy,what a trainwreck to be involved in. Lying bitch.

Seppuku wrote:

break up with her

Pretty much this man. Screw her ! Don’t waste your energy, time on her.
Either way, best of luck to you man !

-----------

[QuietlyquietlyParticipant 728]

Seppuku wrote:

Just confronted her about it showed her the text. I couldn’t take it any longer. She went to work and is texting me how she is trash and she wishes she were dead and if I want put her stuff out just do it . But it was denial until I showed the text messages. I feel kind of relived to get it all out now.

Congratulations, dude, and I’m sorry this has been hard for you.

Bear in mind……she’s lied to you consistently for a while now, including when you knew the game was up. This should prove to you that women in general, but specifically your woman, will say whatever they need to to avoid suspicion. I would lay a large bet on her current thoughts: “How do I exit this looking good, him [you] looking like the bad guy, and my stuff and bank balance better than they were?”

She’s proved that you can’t trust her with one of the most basic of relationship rules, now watch for the exit strategy. She’s cooking it up now while she’s at work. She’ll have thought something up, phoned her bestest friends, got them to agree to whatever she thought up, and her plan will develop. Please protect yourself by not trusting her any further.

By all means be a gentleman, if that aligns with your personal code of ethics, but by God, protect yourself!

You MUST work out what your next step is, whether to chuck her out, stuff included, or get her sleeping on the couch, or whatever. She’s in the wrong here, she needs to do what YOUR plan is. No negotiation. Think quickly. She’s already ahead of you.

Keep us posted.

[experiencedParticipant]

Leave her, clean break.

Then years from now, when she sees the error of her ways, …

DON’T F~~~ING BELIEVE IT FOR A SECOND.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[BokehParticipant 65]

Why would you waste a single minute more on a woman who is openly cheating on you? So you can get some woman-ish revenge? Get out of the lease, kick her to the curb, and move on. She’s damaged goods. Why are you wasting time playing games?

And – while you’re respecting her mom, remember – her mom raised her. Her mom will take HER side when you dump her. Imagine how far your respect for her will get you.

[Author]

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