How do I go about this guys?

[SeppukuParticipant 20]

some background first,I’m a 29 years old was engaged to my high school sweetheart but that fizzled out and we split when I was 24. Said I would never “fall in love again”. Fast forward to 27 year old me, I met a girl in the gym she approached me and asked me out so I said what the hell why not. we had a great time so we started dating and eventually moved in together everything is still great and her family is awesome and really like me. we have lived together for around 2 years now. She is now a 24 year old student that went to study abroad in russia for 4 months. Everything was great up into the last part of her stay then the texting slowed and the skype calls got less and less until those eventually stopped because she was sooo busy, BIG RED FLAG for me. she comes back and immediately shows little affection towards me she says she just needs time to adjust back, bulls~~~. Also she wants tattoos now and got several piercings when she never cared for them before. well she met a guy over there a “friend” main reason they were friends was because he could learn english and she could learn better russian. so anyways she text this guy all the time now constantly so I got her phone while she slept and took pics with my phone of the text messages and then googled translated them to english, it was a lot of I love yous and miss yous and bulls~~~. so I confronted her about it never telling her what I have on my phone and exactly what I saw. she assured me he is just friend and that is the russian thing to do is to tell friends you love them and he is just a buddy. so after that she put a password lock on her phone guess what? it’s his birth date numbers I guessed it first try, she told me a while back his bday because we were born on the first day of the month. so I have so many text between them now hidden on my phone with an app. I did try to text him when I was drunk one night because I know she is lying to him too she tells him I’m her neighbor/roommate. so when I texted him it was hard because of the languages but I made sure I said i’m her boyfriend, he said he didn’t understand and he told her I texted him, boy was she mad and she wanted to go through my phone but all that stuff is hidden in that app so she found nothing. also she has done drugs with this guy and she wants to go back to russia for spring break to visit all her “friends”. We went to her parents for christmas and I was thinking of letting all this s~~~ out the bag, but I have too much respect for her mom so I did not. so here is my question guys, should I embarrass her by telling her family everything because she is lying to everyone or should I just break up with her and break our lease and go our separate ways? I’ve been just letting her keep thinking she is playing me, but it has taken an extreme amount of willpower to not just like slap her across her face sometimes, because I know everything.

[Anonymous 24]

This is a no brainer, bounce. Do it any way you want to, but do it now. Personally, in my younger days I would have gotten into a mess with it all. Best thing you can do is just leave and if anyone asks you tell the truth about it all no matter how crazy she makes you out to be.

[SeppukuParticipant 20]

Very well said thank you sir.

[LivinitupParticipant 135]

As tempting as it might be, imho, there´s nothing to be gained by opening up a kindergarden like letting her family know what a slut she is or whatnot.

Just break up and walk away.

If she wants to know a reason for it, just fall back on the old “i just fell outta love” bulls~~~ answer the bitches always throw around and be done with it.

In the end, anything but calmly walking away is just a waste of your precious time….

Walk away, don´t look back and don´t even waste a singel thought on the whole thing again would be my advice. I know that´s easier said then done but believe me, anything else is just a waste of time.

best wishes, Livin

give us liberty, or give us death!

[Anonymous 24]

I have stayed in at least two relationships when I was younger where I knew I was being cheated on. Looking back on it now it is easy to see that I did not really become a man until I no longer put up with stuff like that. It is a simple question you have to ask yourself: Who am I living this life for? Once you are determined that it is you that you live your life for and not others, even the urge to clear your name during the break up becomes unimportant. Who cares if she convinces her family or her/your friends that you are crazy/jealous and that she did nothing wrong? I have been there before. Just be true to you and you will be alright. If you don’t stand up for yourself, nobody will.

[Anonymous 42]

The house is on fire! What are you waiting for? Run forest, RUN! AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!!

[pabsawakeParticipant 1761]

Dump her! You may not feel this way right now but she actually did you a favor by showing you her whoredom before you got more seriously involved “married”. No matter how good of a lay she might be its not worth it brother. And keep your pants on. A lot of these whores are intentionally getting pregnant from these Alpha males and passing off responsibly to the beta’s. JoeBaurers is 100% right this is a no-brainer

"You can either love women or understand them, you can't do both". Truth over everything

[Anonymous 6]

Just say this to her

[Anonymous 11]

Punt that c~~~!

Never look back. It’s not your fault man. She consciously chose to do this to you. There’s not much you can do about it. Women have the final say in relationship matters. That’s a cold fact of life..

Also, there is a certain satisfaction from just turning your back and walking off into the sunset. It drives them f~~~ing crazy too plus empowers you.

Do not ever grovel before anyone, especially a woman.

[SeppukuParticipant 20]

Thanks to all who post. Its great advice and feedback.

[CaliParticipant 753]

Hmmmm, I have a different opinion.
It seems to me that if you were her father that you would want to know if your daughter was doing all these things. Out of respect for her father (and her mother, if you respect her), I would recommend going to the parents privately without the daughter knowing and telling them what you know, then telling them that you will not be seeing their daughter anymore. Tell them everything that you believe they should know, and make it clear that their daughter had more than enough chances to confess and be honest with you but that instead, she continued cheating.

After the meeting: Bail, eject, don’t break up with her in person, as she doesn’t deserve that after what she did to you. Don’t correspond with her, and don’t EVER let her back in your life. She screwed you over once, and she will do it again.

Peace, bro, and good luck.

BTW keep us posted

Just a misogynist virgin hiding away in his mother's basement. Nothing to see here...

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Seppuku wrote:

has taken an extreme amount of willpower to not just like slap her across her face sometimes, because I know everything

Damn bro, you’re in a tough spot. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, BUT i can promise you it gets better. I appreciate your sharing. Following’s a bit lengthy, but i think will help:

I’ve felt that rage against a woman i loved for doing something similar. But, i never came out swinging like that, and i’m glad i didn’t. A few months after i threw her out, my life got better; a lot better. Now i have a kickass life to live. So don’t put all that at risk by doing something rash. Far better to channel that rage in to some heavy metal & hit the gym hard. This will do wonders for your stress level. And getting in better shape will make slaying hot, new ass easier, in the event you choose to do that in the future.

As far as how to GTFO, the other guys here nailed it. You know you’re better off without her in your life, so it’s only a question of how to do that in the easiest way possible FOR YOU***. Remember, she is no longer on your team; she no longer deserves your loyalty (if indeed she ever did), your assistance, your money, your emotional support etc etc.

I’d recommend not confronting her on this, for two reasons:

1) You have all the evidence you need. I can guarantee she’ll maintain the charade of “he’s just a friend”, “nothing happened”, etc. etc. It sucks you have to learn it this way, but when they’re busted, women deny deny deny. Don’t bother with her bulls~~~ – you know what she’s going to say, and you know it’s going to be a lie.

2) By confronting her, you’re creating drama. Women are drawn to drama like cats are drawn to catnip. So don’t feed her dramaqueen; you don’t gain anything by it.

Maybe the easiest way is to wait until she’s at work, then have a few friends help you pack up your s~~~ – crash on a bro’s couch for a week or two – you should be around *your* friends/family now, not her friends/family not mutual friends/family – YOURS ONLY. Block her from your phone/social media. She’ll blow up your phone/email/social media/etc like CRAZY. She’ll cry. She’ll threaten you. She may threaten to kill herself. She’ll apologize. She’ll do all of those things in <60 seconds, repeatedly, for days. Remember – she’s only flipping out because she doesn’t have you anymore. She didn’t give a s~~~ when she was doing god knows what with that russian guy. Remember that.

She may stalk you/your friends/your family. Tell whoever you’re staying with that you don’t want to see her under any circumstances. No matter how drunk you get, no contact. Doesn’t matter if she shows up at their door, with mascara streaming down her cheeks, reeking of tequila. You don’t want to talk to her. Remember – you don’t gain anything. No matter how much she apologizes, she’s only doing it because she feels guilty, not because she hurt you.

***When she realizes the game is up, she’s going to beg, plead, kiss your ass, threaten you, for all kinds of s~~~ – she’ll ask for money, she’ll ask for your silence (that she’s been dishonest & unfaithful – she wants to spin the story to her family/friends, she doesn’t want you to tell them the truth)., she’ll ask for emotional support, she’ll ask for help finding another apartment, she’ll probably ask to borrow your car at some point, etc., you get the idea. Don’t respond to any of her texts, emails, IMs, etc. When family members ask you, on her behalf, an easy soundbite is “I can’t trust X. And my relationship with her, or lack thereof, is not your responsibility.”

[Anonymous 11]

Cali wrote:

Tell them everything that you believe they should know, and make it clear that their daughter had more than enough chances to confess and be honest with you but that instead, she continued cheating.

I’m going to disagree. The vast majority of time parents will back their children, period. She may have already painted him black to them. What has he to gain by doing this? I’d just f~~~ing ghost.

As my old man used to say, “The more you stir s~~~ the worse it stinks.”

+1 to MattNYC for mentioning heavy metal. Slayer has gotten me through more than one backstabbing in my life. Exercise is great too. Weights are a great way to work it out.

[JackinovParticipant 5229]

Simple, all you have to do is Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch Drop the bitch

are you a chia pet in man drag

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10910]

First of all, I’d break up with her. She has lied to you and it sounds like you guys have trust issues.
What is your motivation for telling her parents? If it is because you respect them and are concerned for their daughter then I would say tell them. If your motivation is to “get even” or get the last word in then I’d let it go and move on.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

I wouldn’t tell the parents either, and for very selfish reasons. The more of a support system she has, the faster she will move on. No matter what she has done to you, her parents will side with her. You want them telling her she’s too good for you and she can do better.

Cheaters cheat. It’s what they do. Get her out of your life as soon as possible. Her parents will help expedite the process.

Good luck brother. Remember, no woman is better than that woman.

Order the good wine

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

Your suspicions are correct. The evidence phase is over… now it’s time for conviction.

Leave. Just pack your s~~~ and go. Don’t even explain it. That part of your life was good while it lasted but now it’s over. In time you’ll get over her and the anger you feel now, but you can’t start until you get the f~~~ out.

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

Slip out the back door and dig a hole under the fence while she is not looking. Then run like hell. That woman is no f~~~ing good.
Sorry to tell you and i have been through it too but she is a rank stank skank.The world is full of them.
What women like and are attracted to changes thru the month and probably on a cycle that lasts years..
Brother I’m sorry you are going thru this s~~~.You are not alone. This is the kind of s~~~ you can expect from women. It’s the way they are. It’s the way humans evolved.
Like an old man told me more than 20 years ago.Don’t ever trust something that bleeds for 3 days and does not die.
Leave her and she deserves no explanation. In fact for a while there is a big chance she will try to get back at you for breaking up with her.So No Contact is the safest bet.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[SeppukuParticipant 20]

Well the reason I would want to tell her mom is because she does need some kind of help and her mom and step dad can easily afford it for her. She used to cut herself when she was a teenager and always hid it. But guess what when she came back from Russia, she has some new ones and flat out told me why she did it. I just feel like mom should know but at the same time I think she will lose her daughter. she will not have anything to do with her mom if she tries to get her help. Her mom has helped me and her out with some things during our relationship and I am grateful for that. that is why I respect her mom. That is why I am kinda torn on letting all that out. On one hand it shows who she really is and on the other hand it hurts several people.

[AttonParticipant]

Want my advice tell her parents they deserve to know what is going on, don’t give your opinion give the facts and take pictures give evidence. Then turn away and head into the future and leave it behind don’t associate with her or her parents on any level after this.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[Author]

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