How did you make your exit?

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

What you need is a convenient Chad.

Where is he when we need him?

They love to monkey branch. All they need is eye candy.

Peace brothers

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Oh, just remembered. Buy two storage rooms in the same facility. Pay one cash and the other with check or credit card.

Purchase the one with check first. Then on another day purchase the other with cash. (I did check monthly and cash 6 months in advance)

The one with check use your standard first name.

The one with cash use your first and middle name initials.

Place junk stuff in the check room.

Place keepsakes in cash.

Worked out for me when months later she stormed into facility and inquired about if I had a facility their. She gave them my name and they said it existed and number. Sh ed confronted me and I obliged and opened it for her.

Peace brothers

[PushingnumbersParticipant 72]

DorkShit wrote:

Buy two storage rooms in the same facility. Pay one cash and the other with check or credit card.

That’s genius, a decoy unit. Never crossed my mind. I was thinking of getting a unit to store things I will be buying to furnish the apartment of freedom with.

How did she know you had a unit somewhere?

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Pushingnumbers wrote:

Darksith wrote:

Buy two storage rooms in the same facility. Pay one cash and the other with check or credit card.

That’s genius, a decoy unit. Never crossed my mind. I was thinking of getting a unit to store things I will be buying to furnish the apartment of freedom with.

How did she know you had a unit somewhere?

Interogatories. Have to declare assets, etc. Where storage unit is located, etc.

Plus, I had a big divorce garage sale!

She had friends, coworkers, etc that told her the weekend when all of her crap would be on our front lawn. (She had to drive 2000 miles back, etc)

If you’re going to go through divorce hell, take charge of being a dick.

In my case, I had grown up in the community and I knew the police officers really well.

One thing about current society is that we are alien to the authority that comes knocking at our door.

It is different when you personally know the policeman.

Bitch was butt hurt that everyone in authority thought she was a horrible mother. She couldn’t grasp that they didn’t give a s~~~ about me. She abandoned a child.

She would yell at them that it wasn’t like she left him at wal-mart. She left him with me.

Peace brothers

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

PushingNumbers: You and I are in parallel. The only difference is my winch and I bicker constantly and I’ve tipped my hand telling her I want to leave.

In my case (I can’t go into detail) I have some leverage that I can use to protect my assets. I hope.

So, I sent her an email last week (see my post S T U C K). I said I wanted out amicably. She didn’t hit the roof or go ballistic. Instead she did a 180 and started acting nice and wants to work on things. I do not believe for one f~~~ing second this is genuine.

She knows that the meal ticket wants out and her lifestyle apple cart will be upset.

So – like you I’m in a bit of a limbo right now. Tying to decide my next move. Do I just up and move out? Do I sell my toys and stash money? I’ve already met with 2 lawyers. They don’t answer these questions. Lawyers don’t give us the info we need to shelter our money and get out with as little financial damage as possible.

Keep us posted and good luck.

[PushingnumbersParticipant 72]

DorkShit wrote:

She had friends, coworkers, etc that told her the weekend when all of her crap would be on our front lawn. (She had to drive 2000 miles back, etc)

Haha that’s awesome

[PushingnumbersParticipant 72]

CombatRoll wrote:

see my post S T U C K

Subbed.

I haven’t told her I’m trying to leave but I’m sure she can see and feel the shift in my attitude as of late. She’s been totally kissing my ass, but her colors have been revealed. Too little too late, she’ll just go back to being her usual lazy selfish ways once she feels the coast is clear….I mean it’s a lot of work pretending you have a domestic bone in your body for someone who isn’t used to and doesn’t like to do s~~~.

Good luck to you too sir.

[MemberParticipant 323]

Skimmed this post rather quickly….

Without knowing all the specifics….

– As others have said a storage locker works out great. Have it paid several months in advance under a name other than your own. A fried or sibling should be able to help out with this. Be very careful on who you entrust this info with….don’t want to tip her off. If all else fails this storage locker is a fall back position to hide much or all of your things where she cannot find it. You can sleep there if things get bad.
– If you have time do the smart thing and start siphoning off cash for the split. No you can’t hide 30,000 bucks by buying a new truck. You really want to do this over 6 months or a year. This gives you time to siphon more cash and more time to move things into your new storage locker.
– Not sure if you had kids together or not. If not then this greatly increases your options. Be patient…..move your possessions into safe storage locker….move cash.
– Have you considered moving to a different town or area completely? Put some distance between you and her. I would not tell your friends where the new place is for a while. She will likely know the same friends and be able to pump them for intel. You don’t want her showing up at your new place to raise hell. Even if you have to move temporarily an hour away to hide out do so. You will want time for her to cool down. You can move into a more permanent location after everything is over.
– Have you considered changing jobs after the split? A few options there to put distance between her and you.

When the time is right and all the preparations are over you can break the news from a distance. Call or write…..short and sweet. Don’t advise being in her physical presence. Preferably do it with witnesses so if she sasy later you beat her you have a chance at defending yourself.

Of course you can also just skip all of this and go to DEFCON 5. Pack your s~~~ into your car and drive away. Leave a note on the table ” We are through. Goodbye”. Disconnect your phone….move a few hours away minimum and start over. Depends on how bad you want this to end or how you think she will take it.

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

You need to start planning ahead.

1. You’ll need money. Every time you go to the store, get some cash back. You’ll be able to have an emergency fund for when you initiate the divorce. It comes in handy as it will take the banke a while to send your new card and checks.

2. Remove anything from the house that you cherish. You won’t get back the heirloom that she pawned.

3. Get a storage unit in trusted family member’s or friend’s name. Put the cherished items there.

4. Get a lawyer. They should advise you on how to behave financially in the short and long term. In the short, open a new bank account, have your paychecks moved to that account. Remove her from your life insurance policy. Separate your cell phone accounts. In the long, get your own place. Otherwise, she will make your life hell.

5. Record every interaction you have with her. It’ll help against false violence charges as well as possibly incriminate her motives in front of the judge.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[PushingnumbersParticipant 72]

Member wrote:

go to DEFCON 5

This is more where I’m at right now, I have a little bit of money stashed enough move out and get an apartment. I’ve been keeping stuff pent up too much and am starting to outburst. I don’t think I can play it cool any longer. Tomorrow I apartment shop.

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

Try to refrain from outbursts. They make you feel good in the short term, but only give her cause to claim you are unstable, abusive, etc. Find some other way to release your rage, cause she’s hoping to cause as much as possible.

When you check out of a marriage, the woman will still test you to see if she can control you, even just your emotions. She’ll do things to try to p~~~ you off and get a reaction out of you. If she sees you get mad, she’ll get the satisfaction of manipulating your emotional state. DEPRIVE her of that. Nothing p~~~es a woman off more than seeing you smiling or laughing at her petty attempts to get under your skin.

Make it a frequent habit to laugh or chuckle when she says something ridiculous and intended to hurt you. The fact that your reaction does not align with her expected reaction will drive her nuts. She will shout escalating hurtful statements in an attempt to get the reaction she wants from you. All the while, you are recording everything. Laughing now because she is just incriminating herself.

Always remember, play the long game. You want to win with the judge, not the argument.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[PushingnumbersParticipant 72]

NoMore wrote:

Try to refrain from outbursts

You’re right I should be holding back, I’m usually pretty good about playing it cool. I should be extra cool anyway because I really just don’t care anymore and shouldn’t let ANYTHING that goes on have an effect on me.

She even said tonight “maybe you shouldn’t have married someone that has kids!” I almost tipped my hand and took my out early. I will do so on my own terms and not in the heat of a spat.

Like you said I don’t want her to use anything against me and say I’m unstable…I have rarely outburst and she goes on to say that I “always over react.”

I’ll get a lease signed, and once I get keys in my hand is the when she’ll know my intentions.

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

Pushingnumbers wrote:

NoMore wrote:

Try to refrain from outbursts

You’re right I should be holding back, I’m usually pretty good about playing it cool.
She even said tonight “maybe you shouldn’t have married someone that has kids!” I almost tipped my hand and took my out early.

I have rarely outburst and she goes on to say that I “always over react.”

I’ll get a lease signed, and once I get keys in my hand is the when she’ll know my intentions.

What a bitch thing to say to you.

Be strong and stay cool. My wife is the queen of saying nasty things to get me to burst and often I do. Nothing good comes of it.

Best of luck moving forward. I’m stashing money as we speak and have an appt to look at an apartment.

Keep us posted and Godspeed!

[PushingnumbersParticipant 72]

So it’s finally come out into the open the “D” word has been spoken. She asked me if I want a divorce. Now I have to come home after work and tell her face to face that I want out. Not that I have a problem doing so. I wanted to make my exit on my own terms and avoid the awkwardness of living with her after letting her know where I stand. Also to avoid anything that can possibly be done to me out of spite after my intentions are made clear.

I haven’t been able to secure an apartment yet so now I’ll be stuck until I do. I might just have to leave tonight and check into a weekly type rental place and continue my hunt from there. I’m really paranoid of any drama unfolding due to my decision.

[Author]

Posts