Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › How did you guys deprogram yourself?
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No_Apologies 3 years, 8 months ago.
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Once you realize your not alone, deprogram becomes easier.
“We are not alone.”
-Special Agent Fox Mulder
Shit Tested, Cunt Approved.
I think the sad truth is that a lot of so-called red pill men are just sour over rejection. These guys will hate on women, but still try to mold themselves to be “attractive” and then jump on the first one that offers them sex.
A lot of the deprograming simply comes down to intelligence, which is why more intelligent people are less likely to have kids. Most men will touch a stove, get burned, and then keep touching stoves and wonder why they are getting burned. If you are smart, you will see the pattern and stop caring about women. If you look at life from a cost/benefit perspective, you will see that women provide virtually no benefit besides nice chemical releases for a few months. Meanwhile, you provide immense value to them.
If you want to feel good, just do drugs. They are cheaper, more enjoyable, and more reliable than women.
Time will heal the wounds you bear in your heart. As for the sex as others have said rub one out and apply yourself to your hobbies to stop thinking about her. If your friends are nosey and giving you s~~~ or trying to create drama to talk about her just ignore them for a bit and have some alone time for yourself you will need it. Over time they will stop asking you and you will never forget her but learn to not care about her and learn from the mistakes that were made and be a better man for it.
How did you guys deprogram yourself?
Time.
I always questioned everything as early as 11. In fact I remember trying out for a scholarship for a private school and the teacher made a mistake. I spoke up and told her so. She turned to the panel like “who the f~~~ is this kid” and my Mother & Father (watching) were horrified. They were SURE I screwed it up.
I didn’t even say “excuse me you made a mistake”.
I just blurted out “THAT’S WRONG”.One of my teachers was also with them and she leaned in and said “He just got in”.
My Mom said “WHAT? how do you know?”.
It was because she really DID make a mistake. They couldn’t not accept me because I was the ONLY ONE who noticed. Totally un-politcally correct, intuitive and aware since I can remember. By the way, that teacher ended up being my teacher and for the first two years she really gave me a hard time.
For me, it was less of “deprogramming” than it was a constant struggle to reject and spit out what others tried to feed me. It’s still a struggle today. Don’t even try and tell me the “sky is green” and expect me to agree with you. You’re gonna lose.
But some people actually think they can get you to swallow their crap.
My mistake ( over time ) was allowing myself to take it “for the sake of keeping the peace”. Bill Maher calls it “making women nod”. I didn’t REALLY agree, but I sometimes went along with it anyway — even when I KNEW I shouldn’t.
That’s an art form and still takes practice.
I still want to blurt out “THATS WRONG!” – and have TOO often – but it’s a polished skill to know exactly when and when not to – and understanding why. Still a work in progress.
“The Red Pill” is best internalized. Sometimes is better to pretend to agree. Pretend to swallow the blue pill and make them “happy”. They don’t need to know you didn’t. As long as you’re aware of what’s actually bad for you, you’ll do just fine.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Even when I was a little boy I saw misandry everywhere. I noticed that misandry is okay in our world.
I was always “deprogrammed” in that sense. I decided I was never going to get married when I discovered Dick Masterson.
I, however, had to deprogram myself from the political right. I am a former right-winger. I left and became a political independent when I realized that the right doesn’t care about men’s rights either.
MGTOW: because you can (and should) say anything about a woman as long as she isn't within earshot
Well, most people are dumb and usually wrong. Almost every guy I’ve known who exhibited external confidence was typically wrong, and they will argue logical fallacies until the cows come home. The difference for women is, they likely know they are wrong and don’t care. Men will have irrefutable prove shoved in their face and they still believe they are right due to ego.
In the modern world, acting confident and shouting the loudest is valued more than intelligence and being right.
Well, most people are dumb and usually wrong. Almost every guy I’ve known who exhibited external confidence was typically wrong, and they will argue logical fallacies until the cows come home.
This from the very same f~~~ing idiot who called “most men pathetic“.
Watch your f~~~ing step. Your ego is more overblown than you will ever give yourself credit for.
You’re so full of s~~~ it’s unbelievable….
This is why I generally hate EVERYONE, men and women alike, because most people are morons and/or human waste.
The way you carry on it’s probably mutual.
You don’t mind if we think of you as “human waste” do you?
Excellent. You’ll be taken out with the trash shortly.You can go join the forums at I-hate-everyone-because-everyone-is-a-f~~~ing-moron-human-waste-except-me-dot-com.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.well, I think I know what you mean, and I’ll give it a shot.
You want to know how to restructure your belief system. You have to start with a new belief a.k.a. what you want to reprogram, and simply say it out loud. Then take action towards making the statement reality. The brain can’t tell the difference between what you imagine and what is real. Now you can’t just say something and then take no action and expect it to just “magically” happen. S~~~ doesn’t just happen…. s~~~ takes time, s~~~ takes effort. The only thing stopping you from making any change in your life, whether it be a job, where you live, some adventure you want to go on is the bulls~~~ story and lack of effort on your part.
I became the change I wanted in my life. No one handed this great thing to me, I went and did it. One step at a time, by the numbers, until what I wanted became reality. The hardest part about doing this is figuring out what you really really want in your life. When you strip away what you want from what everybody else wants you to want it becomes easier for you, start figuring out what you want first, separate that from what others want. Good luck…
Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....
I’m a week out of a relationship now and I’d say I’m 80% over her. I say that because if I saw her sucking some other guy’s dick I’d probably go insane. But the thoughts of getting back with her are coming up less and less.
My only problem is that while I’m trying to embrace new ideas of “Focus on improving myself, and dont give a f~~~ what women might think of you” I’m also caught in the old habit of judging myself based on what I think women think of me.
What are some ways that I can completely rid myself of this habit? Experiences?
I think that I’m the same way. Every time I broke up with someone in the past, I always immediately put myself back in hunt mode. I know in general what women want and I would start trying to match myself up with their desires again. I still find myself doing it. I assume that it’s some type of conditioning. Pavlov’s dogs and what not.
Discovering MGTOW and learning that there are A LOT of men out there in the same boat helped me. It really helped me to get over the idea that I am doing something out of the ordinary by saying no to marriage and no to being a beta male.
I think that this is one of the first important steps of de programming oneself: accepting the life change. Now, just like Keymaster said, it’s just up to time to take care of the rest. Every time I come across a situation where I consider what women would think of my actions, it pops up a huge red flag (thanks to my MGTOW training) in my thoughts and I take the time to think about it and realize the reason why I am rejecting that old code.
This is my experience. It’s tedious but it’s really helped me to start shucking off the bad programming. I’ve found that I naturally start filling up my time with activities that benefit me. Instead of spending all my time trying to get back into a relationship or trying to maintain one, I am filling up my spare time by doing positive things such as saving for a home, saving for my son’s future, going on trips, working out, etc. I have started programming myself to create a better future for me.
#MANOUT
I have started programming myself to create a better future for me.
One of the things I should have done 20 years ago that I made policy – especially in the last 2 years – was carving ALL toxic people out of my life. I finally decided (even with “friends”) if they were not good for me, a drag to be a around, a downer, manipulative, no fun – whatever – they are history.
One guy I knew for almost 5 years….. and I realized every time we got together ALL he ever did was make snide comments, and criticized EVERYTHING. Right down to what I ate. If I ate a burger, he would say “you know that’s really bad for you”. If I ordered a salad “that’s so gay”.
Ejected.
And EVERYTIME he called , it was the VERY last minute and he would behave like I had nothing better to do. No. And when I said “no” or “can’t, Im busy” all hell would break loose. Then one New Years Eve, he thought it would be “funny” to make a personal crack in front of a few people.
8 seconds to midnight, I smiled, set my glass down and walked out. The whole house with 50 people in it was DEAD SILENT at 12:00AM on New Years Eve. And I drove home like I just unloaded 200 lbs of luggage. It was FANTASTIC.
One the way home, I was THE ONLY car on the road. (talk about a “MGHOW”). Felt GREAT.
When I got home, my phone exploded with 18776516543265432 texts “Im sorry” and all kinds of fake sincerity. Always only “JOKING” in person…… but totally sincere in text messages. How f~~~ed in the head is that.
NO. WE ARE NOT “FRIENDS”.
Just plainly told him to GET THE F~~~ OUT OF MY LIFE.He wasn’t the last, either.
Two weeks ago, I met a classic “manipulator” for the first time. I listened to his bulls~~~ and already had the next 5 years of knowing him entirely mapped out. Permanently carved him out of my life within 2 hours.
F~~~ I wish I started doing that sooner.
When you know someone is bad for you…. get rid of them.If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Some great advice here. I’ll highlight two that I noticed:
1. Write down all her faults. Say them out loud. Even if they’re petty write them down.
2. Watch your finances. Compare them six months from now. Do your best to put away cash. You should focus on having an emergency fund (typically six months to one year worth of income would be sufficient).So I’ll add some of my own. My suggestions:
1. Improve yourself. This is a time to remake the new you. Think about your health and fitness. You don’t have to get a gym membership or hire a personal trainer. But start a challenging exercise routine and stay with it. Even if it is one of those home workout programs DO IT. Your mental stress will decrease and it gives you a goal to work towards. This also means you should take care of your body. Do your best to avoid junk food and stay with the healthy stuff. Most of your shopping should come from the produce section. If it’s in a box, it won’t help you. Remember you can have a s~~~ty workout routine and a good diet, and get in great shape. However, if you workout like an animal and eat like a third wave feminist, you will only be a stronger fatter version of yourself. Set personal goals for yourself. Make your goals performance based not weight based.
2. Learn a new skill. This can either be a new hobby, or go back to school Do not I REPEAT DO NOT go in debt for this acquisition. If it is school you want, seek scholarships, grants or get work to pay for it. If it is a hobby (maybe take up something that goes with your passion) then a few extra bucks shouldn’t break you. Make short and long term goals
3. Take a hard look at your career. Are you happy, or do you feel fulfilled? Do you want more money, more responsibility or to live somewhere else? Talk to the powers that be and see what you need to do to work up to the next level. Set your goals to meet this objective. Write them down, ensure you look at them each morning when you go in and each afternoon when you leave. Ask yourself, “How close am I to achieving X” in the morning, and in the afternoon, “Did I get closer to Y?” in the afternoon.
4. Get rid of all those things that waste your time. I just recently got rid of cable tv. Honestly, I haven’t watched it in 5 months except for a few shows. You don’t need it and it will only distract you from creating a better version of you.
If done right, you won’t have time to think about your ex. Besides your goal is to be a better you and a better you deserves better than her. You WILL be out of her league when you accomplish these goals. What you are feeling, is not love, not emotions not magic. It is nothing more than chemical reactions in your body which gives you a certain feeling. She is not your problem anymore. I hope this helps.
P.S. When I say you deserve better, don’t try to find a new woman to drain your resources. Pump and dump, keep the condom flush it and do not trust them.
If it costs you your peace of mind, then it is too expensive.
F~~~ I wish I started doing that sooner.
When you know someone is bad for you…. get rid of them.F~~~, what a good story. I can relate. My ex girlfriend who I’m talking about here: This was the second time I broke up with her.
After the first time I broke up with her, I became friends with her mother’s friend. He was 30. This guy would call me every day and night and would not shut the f~~~ up for 40 minutes. Over 60% of everything he told me was his theories on how to attract and f~~~ women. I swallowed that s~~~ whole, and I thought it was making me a better man. But after a while, it was getting old. I was starting to see that he was only trying to manipulate and control me, and change me to be just like him. I said f~~~ that and stopped hanging around him.
Brother, we need to stick together.
P.S. When I say you deserve better, don’t try to find a new woman to drain your resources. Pump and dump, keep the condom flush it and do not trust them.
Damn right.
Brother, we need to stick together.
I have started programming myself to create a better future for me.
One of the things I should have done 20 years ago that I made policy – especially in the last 2 years – was carving ALL toxic people out of my life. I finally decided (even with “friends”) if they were not good for me, a drag to be a around, a downer, manipulative, no fun – whatever – they are history.
One guy I knew for almost 5 years….. and I realized every time we got together ALL he ever did was make snide comments, and criticized EVERYTHING. Right down to what I ate. If I ate a burger, he would say “you know that’s really bad for you”. If I ordered a salad “that’s so gay”.
Ejected.
And EVERYTIME he called , it was the VERY last minute and he would behave like I had nothing better to do. No. And when I said “no” or “can’t, Im busy” all hell would break loose. Then one New Years Eve, he thought it would be “funny” to make a personal crack in front of a few people.
8 seconds to midnight, I smiled, set my glass down and walked out. The whole house with 50 people in it was DEAD SILENT at 12:00AM on New Years Eve. And I drove home like I just unloaded 200 lbs of luggage. It was FANTASTIC.
One the way home, I was THE ONLY car on the road. (talk about a “MGHOW”). Felt GREAT.
When I got home, my phone exploded with 18776516543265432 texts “Im sorry” and all kinds of fake sincerity. Always only “JOKING” in person…… but totally sincere in text messages. How f~~~ed in the head is that.
NO. WE ARE NOT “FRIENDS”.
Just plainly told him to GET THE F~~~ OUT OF MY LIFE.He wasn’t the last, either.
Two weeks ago, I met a classic “manipulator” for the first time. I listened to his bulls~~~ and already had the next 5 years of knowing him entirely mapped out. Permanently carved him out of my life within 2 hours.
F~~~ I wish I started doing that sooner.
When you know someone is bad for you…. get rid of them.Absolutely. I did this over 12 months ago, ejected people outta my life that have been in it since I was a kid, I’m 41 now. I even changed my mobile phone number and only have 20 people in the phonebook now, and that’s globally.
One thing i did was download my last 5 years phone records from my provider to csv format and filtered it through Excel to see who i called the most but more importantly who contacted me the most especially when i had a really tough 4 years. It was so easy to cut down to a dozen.
But like you KM I had a friend i knew since 5yo who only called me when he wanted money or something, this guy was a real narcissistic opportunist. Best day ever cutting that pile of s~~~ out of my life.
“The Red Pill” is best internalized. Sometimes is better to pretend to agree. Pretend to swallow the blue pill and make them “happy”. They don’t need to know you didn’t. As long as you’re aware of what’s actually bad for you, you’ll do just fine.
This is perhaps the hardest thing to accept about the red pill, you can’t expect to be understood if you stand up and say ‘I’m a witch, but I’m a nice one’ during a witch hunt. Therefore learning to protect yourself is paramount. If that means you have to lie for that then I see no issue. Ethics aren’t black and white and people lie everyday to be social.
eg. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m well thank you :)’ (feeling depressed)Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman
Absolutely. I did this over 12 months ago, ejected people outta my life that have been in it since I was a kid, I’m 41 now. I even changed my mobile phone number and only have 20 people in the phonebook now, and that’s globally.
Loved the rest of your post too. It definitely takes brass b~~~~, because it may mean you don’t even have an asshole to see a movie with, but then you realize if you have TWO friends in the world, you’re doing very well. That’s the truth. These people who kid themselves thinking 700 facebook “friends” is some kind of a social circle… it’s not.
Research recently proved a balanced life CAN NOT maintain more than 165 consecutive quality relationships at once. this includes friends, family , coworkers, your minister, EVERYONE. After taxes, laundry, shopping, cleaning, maintaining a home, paying bills, WORKING, NOBODY has 700 friends. It’s impossible. ]
I also recently met – totally by chance – Katie Perry’s body guard. He was a body guard for several big celebs. I admired his motorcycle and we started talking at a coffee shop and it turned into a 4 hour conversation. A GOOD time.
He said something I will never forget:
“Take it from me. If anyone ever thinks they are lonely and have no friends….. just wait until you’re famous”.••••••
My mother also told me she had a couple of girlfriends (they used to call each other that back then ) and TWO of them she had for LIFE. Since she was a little girl. After 70 years of knowing them, one day she realized they were never really her friend. It was devastating to her. Even when they were over, or visiting , or a family reunion happened, there were little gossips, and backstabbing and jealousies. One day they had an argument and one of them brought up a grudge about something stupid from 30 years ago. She was harboring this resentment for decades – about thinking she was flirting with her husband once (or some such soap opera). It was nonsense. Just crap.
Being 41 and deciding to kick toxic people out is better than keeping up appearances.
You don’t want to find out at 71 years after the fact, the people you invested in and cared about never gave a s~~~ about you anyway.eg. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m well thank you :)’ (feeling depressed)I have a great response to that.
Whenever anyone asks, always answer with “I’m EXCELLENT, thanks”.
Don’t ask them back, because (don’t kid yourself) their life is just as mundane as often as yours. But when you’re “excellent, thanks” it’s something nobody is expecting to hear. It’s always “fine”, or “I’m well” or “could be better” or “no complaints”…. but when you’re “EXCELLENT, thanks” they want to know what you know.
It will also feel good to say. “I’m EXCELLENT, thank you.”.
( Less about de-programming. More about programming. )Try it. My gift to you.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.Masculine_Man
Great tip on dieting . Not “dieting” but being aware of what you eat. Huge difference. If it’s packaged, I stay away from it. PLENTY of water makes a difference too. Drink until you p~~~ clear.
I generally follow “fit for life”.
• No proteins and carbs on the same plate.
• 5 small meals instead of 3 big ones.
• No snacks.
• “Melon. Eat it alone or leave it alone”….and little rules like that. Great book that was. Stuck with me…. so far for life!
I don’t always stick to it, but I frequently order a burger without a bun. And no pasta with meat in it. Minimize chocolate. That sort of thing. I’m just ….. AWARE of what I eat. I can have an Oreo. I just don’t eat the whole row.
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.it may mean you don’t even have an asshole to see a movie with
Last movie I saw, alone actually, was Battleship. Since then All I did was work, and work, to now become a millionaire.
if you have TWO friends in the world, you’re doing very well
Absolutely. I have 2 friends who i would stake my life on and them me.
These people who kid themselves thinking 700 facebook “friends” is some kind of a social circle…
FB = popularity, “look at me,” contest!
“Take it from me. If anyone ever thinks they are lonely and have no friends….. just wait until you’re famous”.
I can resonate with this. I actually dress like Charlie Harper but with REEF leather thongs and when people ask what I do, I tell them straight out im unemployed. Works a charm!
One day they had an argument and one of them brought up a grudge about something stupid from 30 years ago. She was harboring this resentment for decades – about thinking she was flirting with her husband once (or some such soap opera). It was nonsense. Just crap.
Just like a woman! This s~~~ always gets filed away til needed!
Well, I’ve never thankfully ever been in a relations~~~ and I’m an 18 yr old guy so I probably don’t have as much life experience as a lot of the other men but for me taking the red pill wasn’t so bad at all.
Some men in my opinion have a natural inclination to the red pill even as kids. For instance, I’ve always had this question of why do so many men determine their happiness based on a relations~~~ rather than well creating their own self-happiness? The answer as I found thanks to this site’s archives, the MGTOW subreddit, and MGTOW content producers is that most men are conditioned to be blue-pill by society because as some poster said before “Society relies on Men NOT Going Their Own Way”. MGTOW just clicked with me because it provided the most insightful and accurate answers to the questions of all the gynocentric bulls~~~ happening in society today.
Anyway in regards to your relations~~~ now, I would say that you should definitely cut off all ties with her regarding on things like phone number, email, social media and whatever else. The reason you feel so flustered if I had to take a logical guess is because you have spent your time, energy and resources on her and you realize that it was not a good investment. As for what women think about you, for me personally the only type of validation I look for is self-validation and not external validation which is one of the biggest reasons why men are ensnared into relations~~~s in general. Sure there will be external sources to give me advice, but at the end of the day I am the only person who will determine my choices in life.
Also like other people said to ease the discomfort, I would say go get some hobbies. Also go do some exercise too, it will make you feel better as your body will release endorphins into your system which will reduce your feelings of being flustered and make you feel good.
This is also a personal thing that I do everyday of my life but I set 15-20 minutes of my time away from other people and I do some introspection and think about the problems in my life and well try to find a solution to it if possible or if not it helps just to think about it. However, after that I do not think about any of my personal problems for the rest of the day. Also, if you have a trustworthy MALE friend, you can discuss your issues with him.
I hope my advice helps.
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