How Can I Save My Best Friend? Poor Guy Is Destroyed.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

Best friend of mine had his very first girlfriend when he was in college. She adored him. They were a couple during the 4 years of college. He graduated and went off to law school. She graduated and went off to Social Work school. All of a sudden she stopped loving him. He was perfectly fine with the distance thing, while she obviously wasn’t. So she met another guy while at SW school. It left my friend devastated.

Fast forward to today. This was 17 f~~~ing years ago! My friend no longer has any anger towards her whatsoever. Instead he blames himself! He can not forgive himself for “letting her go” and not marrying her.

To this day he talks about how he will never get over losing her. I try and tell him that by not marrying her he did himself a service. He refuses to believe me. He will always say the same thing “She loved and adored me. No other woman ever looked at me the way she did. And I lost her. And it’s all my fault. And I can never forgive myself for losing her. You only have one chance in life to meet your one true love and I had it. I had it and I lost it and can never put this to rest.”

There is no way I can convince him that he should get over this is there?

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[MaillesmithParticipant 64]

Give it to him straight. In a way he will understand.

“You’re right, you only zing once buddy. You had your true love and let her get away, and will never find anything like it again. Accept it. You cannot change the past and dwelling on it ensures you will have no future. Focus on now, not on then. It may not make the pain less, but direct it before it eats you up inside.”

[experiencedParticipant]

He will get over losing her… when he wants to.   Gregory Peck in The Yearling, “It seems like there’s times a body gets struck down so low, there ain’t a power on earth that can ever bring him up again.  Seems like something inside dies so he don’t even want to get up again.  But he does.”

Man, I’m not qualified, but if you can get a hold of brainpilot i’m certain he will be able to help.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Anonymous 42]

The guy’s a blue-piller, he doesn’t understand the nature of women, she smoked him for some of that good old fashioned instant gratitude. Men are so pathetic when they don’t understand how a woman can pass out her favor like passing out Girl Scout cookies. Women come and go like the wind, but don’t bother explaining it to him, he’s still a blue-pill manbattery for the Matrix.

[experiencedParticipant]

Another angle on this is, “Why is JFK so popular?  Because he died at his peak.  Your friend’s got only ‘one’ in his database, and she went out of the picture at her peak.             hope this helps.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[RennieParticipant]

experienced wrote:

He will get over losing her… when he wants to. Gregory Peck in The Yearling, “It seems like there’s times a body gets struck down so low, there ain’t a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don’t even want to get up again. But he does.” Man, I’m not qualified, but if you can get a hold of brainpilot i’m certain he will be able to help.

I like that, it shows fortitude and it will take him a long way in life.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

The first high is always the best. And many people die daily chasing the first high, but never coming close to it. So yeah, this is very dangerous.

I had a hard time getting over my first love. But then I hit her again 8 years later and it was blaa… This is how I got over it.
So maybe he should seduce her and get over her that way

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[T-rexParticipant 15]

You have to make him see that if she wasn’t willing to wait for him, and deal with the distance…. Then she wasn’t worth his time. He would have given up his education for a woman, and ruined his life for her. For What? Considering the way they treat us. He is better off without her. You have to force the red pill sometimes.

[finallyfreeParticipant 341]

Experienced reply nailed it on this one. The reason he is so hurt by this is because he lost her at the peak of their relationship. Try to convince him that she would have eventually become like most women after 5 + years or so – boring, sexless, 2-5 min bj’s (down from 15-20 min), routine bs, arguments, and a whole lot of other typical mundane relations~~~ crap.  He is remembering her at a point in their relationship where everything was ok or even good. This makes the break up so much harder to stomach. Remind him of how many happy, successful relationships there are out there these days = NOT MANY.  Remind him that his relations~~~ with her was more than likely going to end one day anyway, so in a way she just saved him time and delayed heartache. He has no idea that if he remained in a long term relations~~~ with her only to be left years down the line, he would be even more heartbroken than he is now. Hell he got out clean and unscathed in a way

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

I went through that a number of times in my younger years.  Now that I’m older, I can look at what happened objectively.  Not one of those women was worth the misery.  Each time I contacted one of them after it ended between us, they didn’t even remember who I was, proving just how much I meant to them.

 

Once it’s over, it’s over.  Get over it, do so quickly, and move on.

 

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

Being in first love is surreal, but also sad. Everyone has looks on their faces like: here we go again… poor soul, he’ll crash so hard. And you also know that in the back of your head, but you still do it and it still f~~~ing feels wonderful. Pussy is a helluva drug

Do an intervention on him

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

Oh I got your s~~~ right here…

Hotter version of Kate Winslet (f~~~ing fine)  natural Ds and flawless skin, no moles, no discoloration, f~~~ing beautiful.

She hit on me from 6-12th grade…always smiling, adoring me, holding conversations.

Graduated, moved away… 8 years later.

Thought the same thing this chump did, looked her up on Facetard, she flew out to see me.

Spent the next 2 1/2 years in a relationship with her. Everything was fine for about the 1.5 years… that was the LDR part.

Then I moved in with her in Texas, left a good paying job and moved 950 miles, cuz she was the “dream girl”.

So f~~~ing fine, so sweet, cared about me blah blah blah blah…..

Then it all went to f~~~ing s~~~. This is with me working 60+ hrs while she did not, paying an extra 750 bucks A MONTH into the relationship, paying for her new car, and going out to eat every weekend and EVEN some breakfast outings.

F~~~ING BITCH WAS F~~~ING CRAZY NEARLY RUINED MY F~~~ING LIFE.

If I had avoided her, I’d be 2.5 years ahead in my schooling… which means.. I’D BE F~~~ING DONE ALREADY WITH MY MASTERS.

I’D BE F~~~ING MAKING nearly 6 figures as my Master’s level program garuntees 100% job placement upon graduation.

C~~~ cost me ~$150,000 – $200,000.

F~~~ that ho. F~~~ your friends idiotic nostalgia, tell him to drown that s~~~. Any woman that can’t handle him MOVING away, didn’t f~~~ing love him, or even LIKE him that f~~~ing much.

This ho and I had a 2.5 year relationship, that we fought F~~~ING HAAAAAARRRRD to keep together (1.5yrs was LDR). We REALLY liked each other more than what was feasible. This is severely dwarfs your friends nonsense. Anyone can date someone for 4 years if they’re nearby, that’s not f~~~ing hard and it doesn’t prove a goddamn thing.

Try 1.5 years of 1000 miles. Come talk to me. Then this chick turns out to be a psychotic bitch that I found out later had TREMENDOUS daddy issues. They don’t tell you ANY of this s~~~ until you’re firmly tucked away in their purse, then they just systematically punch the s~~~ out of you if you move or make a sound.

I had ZERO new friends, ZERO hobbies, ZERO anything.

Let him know, that may have been the most gratifying relationship he’s ever been in, that’s why he looks at it so fondly.

Then remind him based on people trying to help him, this chick was not unique, she was not his true love, she wasn’t even CLOSE, not even in the quarterfinals of ANYTHING.

Tell him to get the f~~~ over her and move the f~~~ ON. Even I thought over this woman 8 years after graduation, thinking I had missed out on something. All I really did is cheat myself out of 150 grand.

F~~~ that, he’s being an idiot.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I believe this will help you.

No other woman ever looked at me [him] the way she did.

This is a HUGE problem for guys. A classic trap. When you’re younger (18, 19, 21), it can be VERY discouraging. For SO many of young men, they just don’t realize the whole “women” thing really doesn’t start to ramp up until MUCH later. Because of this, when you’re 24 or 25, you still haven’t even BEGUN to conceptualize your future and potential.

The women you know don’t either. They don’t know the man you will become either.

What women do, is DUMP good guys (or refuse to date them) and then realize their mistakes when he becomes successful later on.

But men become too falsely enamoured with the first girl who LOOKS AT HIM A CERTAIN WAY.

Observe the words:

No other woman ever looked at me [him] the way she did.

That is such a flawed way of thinking.

Big mistake. HUGE. The way she bats her eyelashes (and looks at you) is not a valid justification for wanting tho spend your life with her. It’s LAZY. It’s too easy. It’s not a reliable indicator of anything. It can be put on like makeup. ANY woman can “look at you” with doe eyes. And what do we do? Because we have been in a dry period, we jump on the first girl that pays any attention to us, or dates us, or starts talking to us. And we start convincing ourselves “she is the one”.

Do you see how dangerous it is?

MOST women don’t pay attention to me…. therefore THIS one is special.

Bulls~~~.

That’s like choosing to buy something because everything else sucks.
That’s like choosing a cell phone because no others work.

That’s like ordering a meal in a restaurant because that’s the only thing they serve …. and then telling yourself it’s the best thing you ever ate because that’s the only restaurant open at 11PM when you had the munchies.

If ALL women “looked at him that way”, he would be forced to have some other more important criteria for choosing a life partner. Things that are more valuable.

Your friend is desperate. He’s SO desperate. So desperate and thirsty that he will take any girl who LOOKS at him “that way”. NO, men. You don’t pick your life partner, wife, mother of your kids that way. It’s not even REMOTELY good enough. Even if she spread her legs on demand and sucked his dick every day, it wouldn’t be enough. What REAL VALUE does she add to your life. Ask yourself this question!!!

Does she alleviate all the stresses and pressures of your 70 hour work week?
Would making her your wife make you feel more or less at peace when you come home after pleasing your f~~~ing boss (and traveling) for 10 hours?
Will she make it easier to maintain and pay for 2 SUVs every 3 years?

You can stop asking right there.

Basing your decision to make a woman your life parter because she LOOKS at you a certain way?
Regretting that she isn’t (for that reason) is even more pathetic.
There are no words to describe that kind of thirst and desperation.

You should have told him to up his f~~~ing standards. Expect MORE from women. MUCH more. Add up the REAL value that a woman / wife adds to your life and you will see that they do not offer commensurate compensation. Plain and simple. As an employee or business owner, when I provide a service, I expect to be compensated to a degree that is commensurate with the value of that service. Even at her BEST, much of it boils down to an exchange of her sex for your resources.

OK.

But is that COMMENSURATE??

You tell your friend to never think he’s missing out on anything just because she doesn’t LOOK at him a certain way. That is holding women to the lowest standard imaginable. Even if she sucked his dick so hard his forehead caved in and the sheets went up his ass…. she ’s getting laid too. That’s a wash. That’s a fair exchange. Now add on all the OTHER she expects from you, and you will see that the modern female fails so tragically in relationships and marriages that I don’t even need to finish this sentence.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

DoinMyOwnThing40 wrote:

They were a couple during the 4 years of college. He graduated and went off to law school. She graduated and went off to Social Work school. All of a sudden she stopped loving him. He was perfectly fine with the distance thing, while she obviously wasn’t. So she met another guy while at SW school.

Of course she did.  This happens ALL THE F~~~ING TIME.  It’s like clockwork.  You could make a living running a book on college relationships after graduation.  You really should tell your friend that.  It’s not him.  It’s not just her.  It’s women.  All of them are like that.

Of course it could be worse.  If he’d married her he’d be divorced within three years and probably paying alimony, child support, and owe her half his retirement.  Because that’s also pretty much guaranteed with graduation marriages.

There was no way in hell this guy was ever going to be able to maintain a long term relationship with her.  How do I know?  She proved it herself by grabbing onto the very next branch to come along as soon as things became inconvenient for her.  The only question is how much it was going to cost him to learn that.  Believe me, he got off lightly even though he doesn’t know it.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

Good answers guys! KeyMaster, bro you are so right. My buddy reaked and reaks of desperation. This one girl pays special attention to him so “she must be the one” lol, that is such flawed thinking on my buddy’s part.

It’s sad. And I thank the good Lord that I do not think that way. That is an awful monkey to have on your back and I am so greatful that I do not have it.

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

better sooner than later

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

Sidecar, yup that is exactly what I tell him. Thank goodness that she left him when she did. There was no way in hell that they would have stood together, because, as you astutely pointed out, she would have left the very minute things got a little inconvenient. And I know for certain that things would have gotten inconvenient for her eventually.

He doesn’t realize how lucky he is that she left when she did.

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[kbbroilerParticipant 886]

Well this is a tough one. I don’t think it’s his fault for losing her but maybe his fault for choosing her. Why not try it at that angle. One thing I did which helped me get over ex’s was to realize I was to blame for choosing them and allowing them in my life. That was my responsibility. It actually brought me peace when I learned I have control over these situations. I know it might not be the thing to say due to the fact he is saying it’s his fault. He may misinterpret. It sounds he is caught up in the fairy tale world which is of course fiction. Why not introduce him to MGTOW.  Maybe showing him another world will help him get used to things.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I just had an afterthought I want to share on this from my personal life.

… as an extension to what I said above.

On a totally personal note, there was a “special” girl I too thought was “unlike all the rest”. A very similar mistake, because one day, she was visiting on vacation, and I left her to hang out at my place and be poolside for the day while I was at work. When I came home, 3 loads of laundry were done and everything was neatly folded in stacks. It blew my mind. She even did my gym gear, socks and underwear. FOLDED.

I said “wow” that’s something else. And I didn’t hesitate to show I was TOTALLY impressed. But I shouldn’t have been. When you think about it, isn’t that the LEAST she could have done as a guest in my home for two weeks??? —- throwing some obvious laundry in the washer and pushing a button on an appliance that does the washing for her? I took half a day off to pick her up from the airport and drop her off again. I paid for her flight(!!!). Took her out to nice places. I provided 5 star service, cooked all the meals, entertained her, made my place spotless – I even bought new bedding! I took her to Vegas for 4 days. Paid for the hotel. Took her to a show where each ticket cost $130. I believe her vacation cost me at least $4000 – not including the days off for which I was not paid.

… and I was impressed by her minimal contribution????
I even thanked her AGAIN for it. F~~~ing stupid. I should punch myself in the face for that.

Now that I talk about this, I’m quite sure she must have been thinking “jesus christ this guy is easy to impress”.

I should have walked in, seen the folded s~~~, and just quietly said “good”. But the only reason I made a big deal out of it was because it was so rare, and there isn’t any chick I have known in years who would even THINK of doing such a thing. It wouldn’t even cross her MIND. Most women would think this is beneath them. Wash and fold his sweaty socks and underwear are you kidding?.

But that’s no reason to be IMPRESSED – just because OTHER women don’t do it.
Men have to put this in f~~~ing perspective – pronto.

Even though this is a permanent memory and I can fondly think of her as being the ONLY girl I knew in many years who was conscientious enough to make such a gesture, I kept it in perspective. I am actually angry with myself for allowing myself to be impressed by it. But it’s not nearly enough to wife her up. AND even more importantly, it sent her the wrong message. It told her that my standards and expectations aren’t high enough.

But here’s where it gets funny – and good.

She never wrote me but once to say thanks. It was a short note to say she arrived safely and the expected “thanks for an unforgettable time”… but, there was nothing near the investment, cost or time I made to show her a good time. AND i know for a fact, she won’t forget it either, because nobody treated and spoiled her as I did.

More than a year went by before I heard from her again. “Merry Christmas” and a short email. 3 sentences really. I replied with 3 paragraphs and caught myself doing it again. So I stopped and I let HER now make it compelling for me. More years went by and the effort to stay in touch was just pithy. So I stopped responding altogether.

Then I get an email last year: “I trust you’re still as handsome as ever. I love you and miss you”. Words she never told me before. Not EVER. She wants to rekindle what she thought was there. +32 and she’s reflecting now. Her eggs are slowly drying up and she doesn’t have men in her own social circle who ever treated her that well.

Where I once thought I was foolish, now I realize it was smart. I get to march into my future without some parasite tied around my neck until death. For every +$4000 I get my laundry folded?? F~~~ you, you’re a waste of my effort and time. Not nearly commensurate. And when you allow women to show their value as an enhancement to your life and existence, they are sorely lacking.

So let me tell you, If I based my decision on who to marry on who impressed me the most? She would be my wife today. A close second would be that chick who once threw some dry noodles in a pot of boiling water for me , poured some store bought sauce over it and “surprised” me with dinner and a killer blowjob one day. A close third would be the one who – totally unprompted – showed up very early on a Sunday morning and brought me a take out breakfast from MacDonald’s and then she WATCHED me eat it in bed and we had mind blowing sex afterwards.

I remember these all very clearly and the only reason they stand out as *exceptional* is because very few girls did such a thing. But it was not exceptional. It was the MINIMAL they could have done – after what I did for them.

All of them “looked at me that way” too.
So f~~~ing what.

I don’t regret not marrying a single f~~~ing one of them – because it wasn’t nearly enough.
Not by a long shot. I didn’t even get Birthday emails from them. And I should pick a WIFE from that?

Don’t make me laugh. Your friend who regrets not marrying her – and the BEST thing he can say about her is “nobody else looked at me that way” – needs a swift kick in the ass.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

OK, loved @exsliventxs testimony.

But I just saw Rusky’s signature “women are only good for cooking, cleaning, and sucking dick, and that’s it”

WHERE!!! WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM???

Dick sucking I can get anywhere, but the cooking part?
Do they really make those? The women I know burn water when they make tea!

“Cleaning”?

Ok stop. No really. That tickles.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Author]

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