Hi, all – miserable married man here

[RASmanParticipant 1994]

Welcome Crowbar.

Normally inheritance is not considered community property; check the laws before you do what you said. Keep your wife out of your mother’s business – she doesn’t need to know anything about.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

Welcome home Crowbar.

And share this wisdom far & wide – if i knew it before i got married it would’ve made my life a million times better

Crowbar wrote:

Thank you all for the warm welcome – sure wish this site was around back in the early 2000’s. Learning the hard way regarding the path I should have taken – now looking to impart my “wisdom” to others.

[CrowbarParticipant 192]

Thanks, RASman, I’ll have to check on that. My attorney is also a client, so I can ask him. Also have a divorce attorney for a client, so I’ll ask him as well.

My mom has mentioned giving us $ (as well as my brother and his family), and all I’ll say is don’t tell my wife. I’ll deposit it somewhere where she doesn’t see it. I also know that we have several thousand $ coming back in tax refunds (waiting on one more piece of info to finish), but won’t tell her about that either. Better to have direct deposited, then move into another account.

[CrowbarParticipant 192]

Ralf, you’re not missing out on much, trust me. I know the high when you have a partner (when I was dating the blond in my late 20’s, I thought I was the king, as I had a nice, cute little GF on my arm), but I also recall after we broke up, and I did what I wanted, when I wanted. I had money (made decent money, certainly didn’t make a ton) because I only spent on what I needed, and I didn’t need a lot. My only indulgences were sporting event tickets, and my buddy and I would go to Vegas maybe once a year or so to gamble a little (very little for me as I don’t enjoy it), drink lots of beer, eat lots of food, and smoke lots of cigars. I never stressed out about money.

Now I’m constantly stressed about money. Just lost a large client (they got purchased by a big company, so I’ll still be involved with the former owners, but just took a hit of over $10K to my income), and my wife is yapping about going on an expensive vacation – she’s giving me the sob story about denying the kids, etc. Part of it is that I don’t want to go with her (if it was the kids and me, I’d actually enjoy it), but part of it is that I don’t want to spend the $.

[Knight ErrantParticipant 179]

Hello, Crowbar,

It was the stories of men such as yourself that rescued me literally weeks before signing the marriage contract. I’m sorry about what you’re going through, but remember:

1. The fact that you’re sharing your experience serves as a warning to many others. You are contributing to making a huge difference in their lives, maybe even saving some of their lives.

2. You are still in a better position than others. At least it seems like you have a sustainable alliance with the wife, not being pushed further and further, squeezed more and more. There is hope you will be able to endure. Also, at least you are aware of the situation and the processes taking place. Many guys are not that fortunate and feel completely at loss about what is happening to them, powerless and at the mercy of their spouses and the forces said spouses have at theit disposal. Your knowledge may give you more time to react, and more options if time comes to take some action or react to actions taken by your other half. Knowlege is power. Stay strong!

I'm no white knight, Sir. Give me a strong suit of armour, a swift steed and the open road and stick the hand of the princess up your arse. I've no ring to put on it and I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

[JimBoLeaParticipant 1891]

I HAVE TO PASS THIS VID ON. CEMENT THIS IN YOUR BRAIN.

LILITH IS THE HEAD SUCCUBUS AND SHE LIVES ON THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

[CrowbarParticipant 192]

KE – agree with you that my situation isn’t nearly as severe as others on this board and elsewhere. There are times when it’s really not too bad but all in all I prefer when she’s not around. Weird thing is these feelings came out after the kids arrived – don’t recall feeling this way much before that.

That video is just sad – a good upstanding man thrown in jail because he can’t meet onerous alimony and child support payments. Ex wife is probably shacking up with some dude while telling her kids what a loser their dad is.

[Anonymous 0]

RASman wrote:

Normally inheritance is not considered community property; check the laws before you do what you said. Keep your wife out of your mother’s business – she doesn’t need to know anything about.

This is true. Just don’t commingle the inheritance money with yours/hers. If you use it to buy anything while you’re still married, then that portion is community property. Keep it separate until after the divorce.

[CrowbarParticipant 192]

Thanks, guys on the answer to the inheritance question. There’s actually a trust involved (meaning that the estate will pour into the trust) – my brother and I are the trustees so we can work it out. I’ll keep it separate – trust me, she’ll want to have it spent.

Should it come to that (and I hope it’s not for a long while), I’ll either keep the trust open (need to make sure it’s OK with my brother) and just distribute the funds like an annuity, or take my share and invest. She’ll want to find things to spend it on

[ThanasiParticipant 428]

That video – holy s~~~, is this what America has become? And meanwhile illegals and refugees get so many handouts. I’ll stay in Australia and won’t be returning to the U.S. anytime.

[Author]

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