Hey pZ1$ I did not have time to read everyone’s responses here so not sure if you ejected the wife out of your life yet or not… but here are my 2 cents and wisdom on how I pulled the ripcord.
1. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! I can no emphasis this enough as women will lie about everything and mostly courts will believe their trash mouths. Video tape every interaction you have with them when it comes to anything finances related or if she is abusive or neglectful to your guy’s kid, and if she does any drugs or anything illegal. This saved my ass!
2. Formulate a your escape plan down to the minute… This is a big task that can take many months of careful planning and secrecy. Do not change your routines or behaviour in any way when you are doing this as you do not want arouse suspicion. Also resist the urge to cheat on her as this will be game over for you. So a good escape plan can look like this.
A. Any cash assets you have in a bank account that is strictly under your control you need to transfer this to a trusted friend or family member by handing them cash directly then close the account, DO NOT DO A BANK TRANSFER as this can be traced. Any physical assets you solely own liquidate if you can and transfer the proceeds to metals like gold or silver and give them to a trusted friend/family member. If you have receipts for any of these things make copies and store off site like using dropbox or some other cloud storage system. You are kind of hooped on joint assets so that is better left to a lawyer.
B. Formulate on exactly what time and date you will leave your house and stick to the plan. It’s a good idea to vacate when the t~~~ is not there to avoid any issues, make sure you have some friends you can trust that can help you with the move if you have furniture or what not. Do not touch any of her things or even jointly own things as she will use that against you. Tell no one on her side of the family or friends where you are going. Remember you need to rely on people you can trust and that can follow the code of Omerta which is basically the mafia way of keeping your mouth shut.
C. Since you have a kid be very careful what you say to her as you know women will side with women. I would not say anything about you leaving until the day of or maybe a few days before WHEN THE WIFE IS NOT AROUND, pay careful attention on how you talk about why you are leaving with avoiding name calling etc. Depending on what type of relationship you want with your kid will depend on what you tell her I suppose.
D. Get a GOOD divorce lawyer and follow his guidance… Get them to make up some good divorce papers and have them ready to go on the day you leave.
E. After you have left with your items and made sure your owned assets are secure, wait for your wife to get home and ask her to have a talk with your papers ready. Make sure to video tape everything that goes on especially if she starts to get aggressive. Be calm and do not aggress her. This is very important as it can be construed as abusive and f~~~ you down the line. Give her a month to sign them or do tell her that you will sue, usually the threat of suing is good enough (from what I experienced anyway). Also do tell her that any joint assets or any agreements to pay for things will be kept up for a few months while things move along the divorce route. IF she gets aggressive in any way just walk away (making sure to record it all) and come back a different day.
3. After you have left avoid her at all costs and her family and friends, do all communication through a lawyer if you can. This may be difficult when you have a kid so make sure to as usual record EVERYTHING. If you follow the plan and stick to your guns and keep your cool you will prevail!
Now all this advice is from a Canadian with Canadian rules and laws so it may be a bit different for you Brother being in America but the principles are the same. You got this!
As Robert Deniro said in the movie HEAT “Never get attached to anything you can not drop in 30 seconds or less if you feel the heat coming.” I live this way mostly with everything I need in 5 containers ready to go, the rest in cash.
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
