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TDOTMGTOW 8 months ago.
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Hello MGTOW men,
I hope you are all well. I am a young man who resides in Toronto and am seeking guidance. I am 24 years old and am about to graduate from University. I’ve only had one girlfriend in my whole life and she really f~~~ed me up…. well to be honest, maybe its my lack of confidence, maybe it is my insecurities or maybe it was my bluepill way of thinking. I would like to have some advice from the older folks here, how did you overcome loneliness? I am starting to like these other girls and thinking about having relationships with them…. but whenever a more handsome, taller dude comes around they just forget I exist. Yes I’m still at the naive stage of life and hoping that love does exist. I don’t know… all this is getting me depressed and I don’t really have anyone else to talk to. I’m what you call a soyboy. I don’t drink any of it but I take things too personally, am too sensitive and downright depressed.
Am kindly asking for guidance. Take care, TDOTMGTOW.
Read this website daily.
Understand that peace (not loneliness) is one of the most precious features of life.
Stop labeling yourself. Soyboy is a political hack catchphrase.
The global economy is due for a massive downturn…focus on how you can become valuable in the job market, not girls.
You only have 1 body…Stay in shape, eat healthy, and sleep well.
Everyone is alone, no one is stiked to you.
You will die alone, everyone dies ALONE.
Deoresion if it is not organic usually has a reason, find it and solve it or do what i do.
DONT GIVE A F~~~.
All women will f~~~ you up, is whar they do, a lion kills and eat, a frog leap, a men is horny and women f~~~ s~~~ up, simple.
Keep it simple.
Now tell me why are you depresed what worries you so much.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Do what I do when I’m lonely and depressed, hire a girl. Save up a few sheckles and for 200 you can find a willing companion. That is all women have to offer.
#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.
Stress kills. Loneliness is temporary. You need to look into yourself kid. Having a woman won’t make you feel better about yourself. Discover what makes you happy and pursue it. Don’t try to impress others. Live for you.
#ICETHEMOUT!!! #MANOUT!!! #HIDEYOURWEALTH #VAGINAISWORTHLESS
Having a dog or a cat is very beneficial for older people’s health. Maybe it would be good for you, too?
You talk of insecurities and lack of confidence and I would call that low self esteem. Low self esteem, loneliness and depression do seem to be linked in a sort of triangle in the lives of many young men. They certainly were for me. Its a bit like the fire triangle -fuel, oxygen and heat. If you can take one corner of the triangle away the fire stops but left together the fire just burns on and on.
In such a situation getting a woman can seem like all the answers at once. The depression goes because you are enjoying being in love. You are not lonely because you are seeing a girl who likes your company and you feel good about yourself because you have the validation of being clearly mate worthy.
The problem with the “get a girl” approach is that women really do go for the best man they can get and if you are at the time lonely, depressed and feeling bad about yourself you will not be getting the best woman you can get. You are likely to be getting one who likes to dominate you -either quite literally by telling you what to do or more likely by manipulating you emotionally. She has chosen what she wants. Women do the choosing in mating, after all in nature they have to carry and raise the children, so the right choice is important. Who buys damaged goods? Either those who want something to drive into the ground or those who don’t have enough to offer to buy quality – that means abusive women or women who are less attractive and less sane (and the less sane ones if they are manipulative or abusive will truly mess you up).
Solutions are personal but the old adages are all true. Get your life sorted so that you stop being depressed and lonely and suddenly several women will turn up all at once wanting you. Its hard to believe now but it really is like that. I am not going to say “leave women alone for life and become a monk now”. If that is what is inside you then fine but you may be more of the world than that (I was). I have had children with several women and do not regret it but I have also learned two important truths along the way; see women for what they are (they are not bad but they are not men with t~~~ and c~~~s, they have different abilities, needs and agenda to men) and sort your self out because no woman will ever do that for you and also the world likes, respects and gives more to a man who sorts himself out. If you do choose to have relationships with women, do protect yourself from the very negative legal and social climate in which we live by adopting sensible behaviours and never, ever marrying.
So when it comes to curing the depression, low self esteem and loneliness, look within yourself. Get doing something good and self improving. It can also help to actually keep a diary of the good things that happen in a day and the good interactions you have (you may surprise yourself how actually your low self esteem is a tendency to focus only on the negative). Many men like sport or fitness -it makes you feel good, gets you to meet other guys and probably leaves you healthier and a little wiser.
Women love status in a man. Money, success or fame give status. Its hard to have any of these when you are 24 leaving university. Usually all a man can have then is his looks and personality and so guys who are not strong in these departments lose out. Don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t think you will only ever be able to beg for low quality women when the taller handsomer guys are not around. Work on yourself. get yourself into a position where you hold the cards and can call the shots. At the moment the girls hold all the cards. They are young and beautiful and men turn up and make them offers. That is only now. Get earning good money. Most importantly get saving. Buy a house. Dress like you like yourself (no more than this is needed, don’t be vain). Achieve success in a field of work, study or sport. The tables will very rapidly turn in your favour. But when they do be very, very careful at first. Just because you can have her (and probably another one or two on the side too) doesn’t mean you should have any of them and just because one is begging you to marry her does not mean it is a ever a good idea.
As to the Soy boy thing -are you a vegetarian or just a bit over sensitive? If you are a vegetarian and it is not something you are prepared to compromise with a little eggs and organic meat (it does not have to be much or bad quality meat) then take great care of your diet and make sure you eat well including a wide range of natural protein. Again the old wisdom is true. Some of the more bold manly ways come easier to those eating meat. If you just mean “over sensitive” when you say Soy boy, then the cure is readily had (though it is not too easy). Toughen up. This hurts a sensitive soul. A little hurt makes you stronger but too much is not good for you. Challenge yourself to do things you fear that are just beyond your comfort zone and don’t be hard on yourself when you fail. Its the learning process. Think of it like a sportsman practising a shot -even the best miss sometimes and to get to be the best you must miss countless times -that is what practise is. Just analyse the miss and then move on thinking only about the next shot. Take up a more manly out door activity if you can, preferably one with a bit of danger involved. Engage in difficult social situations and conversations. Accept failure. Remember no one in the world will can help a man who is weak but himself. It hurts to accept this and to put yourself through the forge of self improvement again and again but toughness will come and with it more serenity and happiness. (Probably also offers from a range of women too; some of which you can enjoy if you like -remembering there is always a price to pay- and some you should avoid).
A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own
Thank you, I really do appreciate the advice. @Branchedoff Yeah, I am quite sensitive. I think I need to have more experiences that will challenge me and in turn shape me to a better man. I haven’t been seeking those activities out as I thought the “safe” route to life would be best. As the others pointed out, I do only have one life and I should not regret living it as the only person who will help me is myself. Others on here were saying that women won’t help me be happy that’s true… but I still have the BP way of thinking that maybe a forever after exists. When I hear the horror stories here, maybe I was right in just focusing on work and getting my net worth up. Thank you MGTOW! From a young man lacking direction.
Men can be largely invisible to women unless they are showing signs of status, or are of use to the woman. I can easily ghost in plain sight now, he on my own and be largely ignored. I’ve become comfortable and even enjoy this. When I was younger loads of women noticed me but I had lower self esteem, was very blue pill etc and took rejection personally. Last year I was juggling three situations over summer and it was highly stressful dealing with three different flavours of dysfunctionality. In the periods of time I’ve been more attractive to women, women themselves have robbed me of peace and joy. Aloneness is part of being male and the existential human condition. Women are a distraction and often a major cause of stress. Your happy ever after is an illusion of the matrix and once your first princess cheats on you with Chad your house of romantic cards will come crashing down. Women are no big deal and today’s kind are toxic. You are in exactly the right place to listen and learn. Embrace their rejection because you are avoiding worse pains. Pussy is nothing. Relationships are highly over-rated and dangerous. I like female company but please listen to the wisdom of so many men here. It will save you my friend.
If you fall down 7 times, get up 8
What do you want to do with your life? Write out a list of dreams, set some specific goals with deadlines based on this, then plan out action steps to get there, review your list daily and start taking those actions. Exercise regularly. Before you know it, life will be exciting and you will be too happy to be as depressed.
I say “as depressed” because depression is a part of life—until it isn’t. I am not depressed, but I spent most of my youth that way. It tends to fade over time as you go through more difficult times, see things as they really are with age, and create the life that you want for yourself.
Also… what are you afraid of? Do some soul-searching and write out that list too. Then stare it in the face. What’s the worst that can happen for each item on the list? And what price are you paying for relying on your fears instead of your dreams? Is it worth it? You can do anything you want in life, with whatever natural consequences follow, but fear will hold you back if you allow it.
As for loneliness, being with girls is a good way to feel lonely in my experience. They will rarely have your interests in mind and in the long term will leave you and take what they can. Ive never felt so lonely in my life as when I was married—plus theoretically you’re stuck there until you die, or she tries to kill you. Neither is a very good option in my opinion. Having these bad experiences with narcissists (girls) is one way to learn to be happy on your own. But I think being confident in yourself and creating good things for yourself as in my first paragraph is even more fundamental. Life is open before you, and is what you make it. Go for it!
"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
Anonymous3I have experience with depression, lack of confidence and low self-esteem, by being there myself and having a daughter through it right now.
Personally I have found some things that helped me, but these things are individual.
I like what this youtube guy talks about. He says really interesting stuff like explaining depression this way: your subconscient looks at what you are doing and sees that you have no future if you keep doing it.
I think its especially useful this material:
depression, as they say, is hate directed inwards. You are not happy with yourself.
believe me, I’ve been there. Many of us were there.I’ll tell you what it means that you feel this way. You have massive potential and you are not realizing it/fulfilling it at the moment. Those individuals that are at a higher level of consciousness, tend to feel more about the world around them. They are set up psychologically and physically to handle more stress than others and you are not stressing your system enough to meet its potential. Therefore, your consciousness is begging you to step out of your comfort zone and start taking calculated risks in life.
The only way to get out of that mindset is visualize where you want to be 10 years from now and work to get there. Pick the biggest realistic dream that you have and go to work. I promise you that the journey will snap you out of depression, you’ll learn to love yourself and have true confidence at in the meantime.
Of course, this is all words. But, i’m telling you from experience from a guy who went through it all.
forget about women. They should never play in that equation. Because women bring a man down. they are dream killers. Notice how most women won’t give you time of day when you are at the bottom, but to those at the top, they fawn over. don’t ever judge yourself based on how a woman sees you or treats you. Once you reach success, you’ll laugh at it all and the women pour in. But, don’t let them in. They were not a factor in your success and therefore should not get to enjoy the fruit of your success.
God bless peace and freedom.
Stress kills. Loneliness is temporary. You need to look into yourself kid. Having a woman won’t make you feel better about yourself. Discover what makes you happy and pursue it. Don’t try to impress others. Live for you.
Listen to this man. That’s the advice I give.
Peace is > piece.
Self steem implies that other people is better than you.
But no one is, bill gates is a thieve, nikola tesla was an idiot who died crazy, poor and alone, elom musk is sucking dry money fro contributors, no one is perfect, no one is better than anyone, all the guys in here all of them talk about brotherhood and s~~~, but if something happens they will cat fight like real bitches.
Me im an idiot, blue pilled mangina of my year like many here, got out of it and now im insane, im serius im bats~~~ crazy.
STOP GIVING F~~~S.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Anonymous3Self steem implies that other people is better than you.
That is true. The greatest illusion is thinking other are better than you, or “have it together”.
We operate under appearances, but nothing is what appears.Look at a beautiful woman, look at how she behaves in her best, in a social setting… After you realize that behind the appearances there is a manipulative nagging bitch, with landwhale potential, then it hits home: nothing is what appears to be.
Most people on social networks act like they are happy and know what they are doing. It surprises a lot of people when the commit suicide. The only ones not surprised is close family and friends, because they see behind the social mask.
Also, the most important thing is acceptance, self-acceptance. We dont accept that we are average or bellow average in some areas of life, and even those that appear to accept are actually ashamed of it. Accept it like a natural thing, like saying you like apple pie, it doesnt matter!
When I was at a “low point” in my life, I didn’t appreciate EVERYTHING that I had because I bought into the societal blue pill script that I NEEDED a Woman. To make a long story short, I found the woman that I would end up marrying. I could go on about how horrible it turned out, but the KEY POINT is that you are at a very dangerous position in life, If some cute lil cupcake starts paying you attention and giving you some sex, suddenly you will think that she’s the one and it’s off to the chapel with you, and then that’s the BEGINNING of your real life long problems.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
These guys have it down for you;LISTEN to them! (I’m speaking to NOT JUST YOU, but OTHER YOUNG MEN READING THIS THREAD).
Real life short story for you:
My In-laws came to visit once just after we (EX and I) bought a new living room furniture set. WE all sat in/on the new furniture, and the coffee table had a shine on it like a mirror. Seriously, you could see every grain of the wood under the gloss on the table.
My in-laws were soooooo jealous of that finish they went out and had their coffee table finished the same way,(it didn’t come out as well as our table). My Brother in law was living with them at the time, and he said you should have heard how they were talking about that table.
My point is : WHO GIVES A SH*T !! Itsa damn table for pete’s sake !! Deal with it. They went crazy over our table having a better finish than theirs.
Really? Is LIFE that petty ??
NO ! and yours should not be either! Start running your OWN LIFE and who cares what tohers think! It’s YOUR LIFE; not theirs!Edited from another post I made: Allowing others to make decisions for you is like handing them the reins to steer your life!
Marry again, Hell NO ! ( Even JESUS was hung on a cross just once)
Thank you, I really do appreciate the advice. @Branchedoff Yeah, I am quite sensitive. I think I need to have more experiences that will challenge me and in turn shape me to a better man. I haven’t been seeking those activities out as I thought the “safe” route to life would be best. As the others pointed out, I do only have one life and I should not regret living it as the only person who will help me is myself. Others on here were saying that women won’t help me be happy that’s true… but I still have the BP way of thinking that maybe a forever after exists. When I hear the horror stories here, maybe I was right in just focusing on work and getting my net worth up. Thank you MGTOW! From a young man lacking direction.
It sounds like you are already looking in healthy directions. I would say “net worth” is not just financial, its the sum of the whole man and it certainly includes self worth. In challenging yourself don’t be hard on yourself. It can be very easy to feel down but look at yourself like your own coach or like your own son or nephew. You are challenging yourself because you love yourself not because you are a hateful maggot you want to transform. Only ask yourself to do what is just outside your present comfort zone and the envelope of “safe” will rapidly expand. You will also learn a bit about danger. Danger and risk take many forms -from falling off a cliff to getting hurt by the wrong woman but it is often the case that the ability to assess risk in a dynamic situation is to a degree a transferable skill. One you get an idea of what danger and imminent failure feel like, it will help you to relax when you are safe and get the heck out when you are not.
Just relax about the women thing. The rest of your life seems very bleak when you are feeling down on yourself. It won’t be like that if you take yourself in hand. Some men do navigate women successfully, some get burnt, others stay away. You don’t have to decide on all that yet as you are not getting women aiming themselves in your direction right now and it would not be the best choice to make yourself a pussy beggar and start chasing the low value ones. Just work on having a happy successful life where you know and love yourself and the whole women thing is the next chapter but if you lay the ground right first, it can be one where you are the author not a character in a farce or tragedy. Review it all at 30 and it should feel so different if you have got it right. If not, there is still plenty of time left at 30 for a healthy man.
A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own
Anonymous1The cure for low self esteem is finding something you are good at.
This requires time, practice and dedication. Find something that you enjoy and become very skilled at it. Try and become the best at it and you will see how your self esteem improves.
Learning a little martial arts and/or MMA can do wonders for your confidence and will boost your T-Levels also. You don’t have to do much, but go to a Jujiutsu or MMA Gym a couple times a week. Or try Chinese Qigong? I bet it makes you feel a lot better.
Anyways, thats what helped me out when I was your age suffering from severe depression, low self-esteem and low confidence.
When you come to the realization that she is not yours and it’s just your turn – life becomes so much simpler.
I still have my lonely moments – but they become less and less with time and age.
At 24, unless you are the top 20%, you are nothing to women.
At 30, with a good job, you can have a very attractive 30 year old.
At 35, with even more wealth, you can get yourself a little 23 year old.
At 40, with even more resources, you can crack the 21 year bracket. With success and grooming your market value will increase.
But why waste your time and resources? I’m almost 40 and I still like a quick shag with a 20 something. But I never take it seriously despite the false flag flattery, “your the best thing that ever happened to me” nonsense. They will sing your praises, like the second coming, but it means nothing. It’s just to boost her status on social media.
Focus on you and your future. Have fun but be a minimalist. Travel. Solo travel is the best.
But like PuffinStuff said, you can just cut out the BS and hire a pro. I’m getting to this stage. I just like retiring to my man house and enjoying my hobbies. Sex is easy and common. It also overvalued. Women offer no mental stimulation for me.
- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein
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