Home › Forums › MGTOW Central › Haunted by the "what ifs"
This topic contains 71 replies, has 24 voices, and was last updated by 
ghost 2 years, 4 months ago.
- AuthorPosts
Anonymous42If you’re the fastest one in a race, you’re not looking behind you, you can’t focus too far ahead, and most the time your eyes are on the road directly in front of you.
Contemplation is an exorcise in futility unless you’re contemplating the corner coming up and hoping you can slow down in time to make it, but you can because all your focus is in the heat of the moment.
I learned the hard way things don’t always go your way, and some corners are etched upon your mind because you didn’t make it!
Life is DRIVING! Learn how, or else,,,,
CRASH!
It’s a pleasure to drive in a crowd on the highway that knows how, knows the rules, and makes it safe, as opposed to one idiot that keeps passing, slowing down, changing lanes, and mind elsewhere other than the driving (mangina).
It’s a pleasure driving with other men on the race track called MGTOW ROAD SPEEDWAY.
Worlds most challenging track, and the greatest intellectual drivers.
It’s exactly why women are not allowed on our SPEEDWAY!
BUT NOT
If one focuses on the apprehensive “what ifs’” he’ll loose sight of life’s road with all it’s hairpin turns, rocks slides, detours, and other hazards that only the man focusing on the day at hand can negotiate.
Don’t dwell in the past, it’s spent fuel that’s already burned.
Don’t be obsessed with the future, all your oil wells will be drilled in the wrong place and not with the latest technology.
Stay in the day at hand, it’s all we have that’s tangible and can be altered for a better tomorrowWhat a beautiful way to phrase it tower! 👍 When I look around I seem to see people obsessed with chasing invisible dreams. You nailed it because it’s only by living and focusing on the present challenges at hand that one can efficiently deal with what really matters. The past is dead, the future not written yet and the present needs our immediate attention.
You must own a better Crystal ball than II have also been on that “what if” mentality lately….
Been MIA from the website for a few days mainly due to moving but I must admit I left a girl I was starting to like back home(San Diego).
When I felt those feelings developing I knew I definitely had to go through with the new job opportunity up here in Oregon before I did anything stupid. She comes from a good family and is a good woman but I just can’t trust relationships anymore, not after my last one.
Crazy you linked that song… we danced to that the last night we hung out. I was also going through my own struggles but now that I am away from her(and everyone else for that matter) I can focus on my new job and get back to important things.
The struggle is real… Especially for me seeing my parents married for a long time and having a great marriage. I just know things are not the same for us now.
I can’t say it any better than Confucius already did, but I will second his opinion. The best any of us can do is to choose a path based on the best information we have at the time (including estimates of the best-case scenario, the worst-case, and the most likely). Decide what to do, then go do it. The worst thing, in my opinion, is to get stuck in a rut because of fear or indecision. There are things in my life I wish had turned out differently; some I could have influenced to a greater or lesser degree, and some were outside of my control entirely. The key is to learn to accept what IS rather than what “could” have been. Find what makes you happy and let it guide your decisions. It’s fine to reflect on past choices, so long as this is done with the ultimate goal of improving future choices (according to whatever metric you want to use to define “improving”). To paraphrase an old saying: Life is a game. You’re not allowed to know the rules. You cannot win. You cannot even break even. And, you cannot quit.
Look here you young punks, one day at a certain age you gonna wake to the math and realise in the best possible scenario you have already used up more than half your life.
Most of that time you didn’t own your own life. You will again reach a time where you will no longer own your own life ie you will be frail and needy just like when you were a baby.
You get one measly sliver of time to be yourself.
That time is now.
The past does not physically exist, you can’t touch it, it’s just a dream.
I command you to let the warrior rise, I don’t want you to be a man I order you to be a Superman.
Let your blood boil with fury, strike hard and forge your own future.
You will be dead soon enough, face death like the hero.
Waste no time with what if, the question is what next.
Are you ready?
The X has spoken.
I dig it bro. Nicely done.
Peace is > piece.
Thank you, all.
The struggle is real… Especially for me seeing my parents married for a long time and having a great marriage.
Likewise.
Confucius and Macho both posted excellent advice, Gambit. While it’s hard to let go of dreams, as they wisely suggest you need to remember that they are just dreams.
That “What If” and that “Road Not Taken” look only good because they’re not real.
You can learn from what you suspect to be are bad decisions, but constantly fretting over making them? That’s of no real use.
I can point to huge forks in the course of my life, instances where a matter of days, minutes, or less would have resulted in a profoundly different life for myself. All of that is in the past, however, and the past is dead. The past can only instruct, it cannot be resurrected.
Learn to let go, learn to accept what had occurred, and begin focusing on the present.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
It caused me at one point to let an ex-pumpkin back after an eleven year break between the last time we were together.
This goes to show you how strong our programming is.
Don’t be obsessed with the future, all your oil wells will be drilled in the wrong place and not with the latest technology.
This is an excellent point. Being in the oil industry, this really hits home for me. Thanks MGT.
They take my taxes to fund these Basic Bitches. I figure it’s because they know how to spend every last dime they can get a hold of. I think of it as getting my money back.
I like the way you think, bro.
I have spirit history in my wallet, I read it every time I feel like day dreaming, gets me back to the real world.
Smart.
Eh, I don’t know if ‘what if’ necessarily means that you’re dwelling on the past, as it certainly could mean contemplating your future. In that regard, I don’t think that means you have to complete ignore all opportunities that come your way regarding relating to women without giving it a thought. I even argue that it’s healthy to consider it just so you don’t lose track of why you’re choosing not to trust her or what have you. I’d say the quickest way to lose your commitment, to anything, is to forget why you made the commitment in the first place.
You don’t want to just know your boundaries, but know why the boundaries are there.
Just this morning, a woman I used to play with texted me about something. Brought back some good memories of play time. But I also remembered she’s crazy and really annoying in many situations. So I stopped the thoughts there. (Well, still thinking about play time a bit).
I guess the point is, you need to be bluntly honest with your what if scenarios. Don’t paint it with rose colored glasses. And certainly don’t dwell on it much, wishing reality was different than what it actually is.
Ok. Then do it.
mean contemplating your future.
A bit of both actually. The mind has a way of wandering and I think your post is spot on in terms of how to handle these situations.
You don’t want to just know your boundaries, but know why the boundaries are there.
Excellent point.
Anonymous3I have done a lot of things that I knew were probably a bad idea because I knew I needed to satisfy myself on that point.
For you, that thing just might be marriage.
People exaggerate on here how bad it is. I have plenty of friends that are divorced, and they all seem better for it. The married ones seem happier as well.
It really is what you want for yourself.
The worst thing to do is obsess over it and be paralyzed with the thought of something. Better to just do it and get it done, then have that experience. Usually it works out anyway.
For me personally, I wanted to get married until around my mid-20s, then the very idea completely disgusted me. I rode that out to my mid-30s, including a brief period in my early-30s where I struggled with depression when my physical looks faded and I no longer had free access to the 18-24 year old 9s and 10s I was accustomed to.
Then when I got through that, by around 35 it really changed and I was really content and no longer thought at all about any of that. Didn’t really care. I think that’s a turning point for a man. I think that’s why when they do marriage statistics, they only look at 18-34, because if a man makes it to 35 he is free and clear. OldBill even stated something similar, which reinforced it to me: “By 35, it was too late—for them”.
Gambit you are what, 31 now? These next 2-3 years are pretty big. Everyone is different though, that’s why I still say if it’s something you really want to try you should still try it. As long as you don’t have kids the first few years, you can always just split right up with no harm.
Anonymous14Shame we can’t merge our two threads together Gambit. The info provided is GOLD. STUDY UP LURKERS….
I have delayed posting on this,………….b/c I am sometimes at fault in my own life. Have even went so far as to question decisions I made over my whole life time.
My dose of reality is I can’t change the past. I might be able to do something about the present and the future.
mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/
Gambit you are what, 31 now? These next 2-3 years are pretty big. Everyone is different though, that’s why I still say if it’s something you really want to try you should still try it. As long as you don’t have kids the first few years, you can always just split right up with no harm.
Correct. I agree, these are some important years given how much flexibility I have. You bring up a very plausible idea. Fortunately, the woman I would actually consider marrying , I will never be able to speak to her on my own. I would have to speak to her father first and seek permission. She will be a practicing Muslim and that is not a bad thing. I am agnostic but it would be difficult to find someone like me who is 18-22. My only hesitation is the level of family involvement with that route. If I go the other route and find someone on my own, she most likely will not be a virgin. You have talked at length about how important that is in terms of female bonding. When I think of all the different scenarios, I just focus on clearing 35 like you and OldBill frequently mention.
My parents attended a wedding a few years ago for this gentleman who was in his 50s and extremely well off. He was probably worth around $100 million. He married a girl who was in her 20s. I have not kept up with that relationship but I figure he just wanted someone to have kids with her to leave his vast wealth behind for. He had been single for at least 20 years or so prior. I also know of another person whose wife passed away and he married a 21 year old woman (he was in his 40s at the time and also very well off). I have seen their relationship from a distance and that is not something I would ever want. She is spoiled and very controlling.
I also think the world will be much different in another 20 years. There might be a situation that will be more favorable to someone who is a MGTOW right now. That is also another reason I do not worry as much. I maintain my health/fitness and know that I will be able to have health offspring for at least another 10-20 years.
Anonymous3Gambit you are what, 31 now? These next 2-3 years are pretty big. Everyone is different though, that’s why I still say if it’s something you really want to try you should still try it. As long as you don’t have kids the first few years, you can always just split right up with no harm.
Correct. I agree, these are some important years given how much flexibility I have. You bring up a very plausible idea. Fortunately, the woman I would actually consider marrying , I will never be able to speak to her on my own. I would have to speak to her father first and seek permission. She will be a practicing Muslim and that is not a bad thing. I am agnostic but it would be difficult to find someone like me who is 18-22. My only hesitation is the level of family involvement with that route. If I go the other route and find someone on my own, she most likely will not be a virgin. You have talked at length about how important that is in terms of female bonding. When I think of all the different scenarios, I just focus on clearing 35 like you and OldBill frequently mention.
I also think the world will be much different in another 20 years. There might be a situation that will be more favorable to someone who is a MGTOW right now. That is also another reason I do not worry as much. I maintain my health/fitness and know that I will be able to have health offspring for at least another 10-20 years.
Eh, that’s really just an excuse on your part. It’s 2017, if you want to get into contact with someone you easily can. You’re just too scared to take the risks and will paint yourself as a victim and give reasons why it’s impossible. Deep down inside you know it’s just cowardice though.
How can you want to marry someone you don’t even talk to? What kind of nonsense is that? And if you do talk, why wouldn’t you just elope? Men have been eloping for thousands of years. Wouldn’t be the first time a father “didn’t approve”. Although even that probably isn’t that big of a deal, if you are as masculine and driven as you say you are, why would a father turn you down if you approach him respectfully and ask? Doesn’t make any sense to me.
This whole thing sounds like a blue pill fantasy to me, where you’ve put some random woman on a pedestal.
And if you really want offspring, it’s ridiculous to wait until you are 50. You won’t be able to play with them or guide them. They’d have to deal with your death or infirmity while they are young. That’s extremely selfish, something only a woman would want to do to their own flesh and blood.
Just go through proper channels and get married now. If I cared about offspring I would definitely have gotten married by 25 at the latest.
Too many people on this site don’t actually care about the so-called MGTOW brothers, instead they are MGTOW to make themselves feel better about themselves and many give advice to justify their own life decisions.
I don’t need to do that because I don’t care, and don’t feel I need to justify myself.
For your concerns, primarily of offspring, and your fears of marriage somehow destroying you, it really isn’t a big deal. I don’t at all fear divorce or losing money. Money is just money, you use it to buy stuff. There is absolutely no value to hoarding it up and feeling “safe” about it. If you lose some of it, whatever, doesn’t really matter.
The reason I avoid women and have never married is because I strongly dislike them and have not wanted children. I’d never felt I could provide for them and elevate them to the rank I feel is fitting for my flesh and blood. And I do not believe women are capable of love either, and for me personally I need to be loved unconditionally to actually have any sexual interest. That very idea is an absolute joke when you gain that wisdom and experience. So that cooled everything off for me entirely and after I became celibate I could not bother with women anymore.
But my reasons aren’t your reasons. You have a genuine desire for children. You seem to also desire companionship. That is perfectly fine, and really, it is normal. MGTOW is extremely abnormal. There are very few MGTOW. They have always existed through history, and they have mostly ghosted. Men like Tesla and Newton and many more that aren’t even known.
But I don’t think that is you. And I’d rather you at least try for happiness. So I think you should take serious steps to pursuing that happiness, and then let the details sort themselves out later. In the even that it doesn’t work out, you’ve learned and grown from the experience, so what is the harm?
Eric Lauder has before told me something along the lines that I am a wise man with some knowledge but it’s obvious that I don’t have the experience of marriage. You may want to consult with someone like him over me on this, but otherwise, it is better to gain that experience for yourself and see how it works.
Eh, that’s really just an excuse on your part. It’s 2017, if you want to get into contact with someone you easily can. You’re just too scared to take the risks and will paint yourself as a victim and give reasons why it’s impossible. Deep down inside you know it’s just cowardice though.
I am the last person anyone would say is a coward. I do not play the victim card either. I am hesitant because of what has happened previously, not because of any cowardice. I recently attended a wedding and had almost every mother wanting to set her daughter up with me. A coward does not build an eight figure net worth after growing up as a poor immigrant.
How can you want to marry someone you don’t even talk to? What kind of nonsense is that? And if you do talk, why wouldn’t you just elope? Men have been eloping for thousands of years. Wouldn’t be the first time a father “didn’t approve”. Although even that probably isn’t that big of a deal, if you are as masculine and driven as you say you are, why would a father turn you down if you approach him respectfully and ask? Doesn’t make any sense to me.
I come from a different cultural background. I have never had a father say no to me. Every father has absolutely loved me. The women just found me too dominant and controlling. They liked it at first but eventually realized that they prefer a beta.
This whole thing sounds like a blue pill fantasy to me, where you’ve put some random woman on a pedestal.
I cannot deny this. I loved my most recent girlfriend and wanted to marry her. It has not been that long since the break up so it still hurts man. The thoughts come at random points when something reminds me of her.
And if you really want offspring, it’s ridiculous to wait until you are 50. You won’t be able to play with them or guide them. They’d have to deal with your death or infirmity while they are young. That’s extremely selfish, something only a woman would want to do to their own flesh and blood.
Yes, it is selfish but my experiences have made me this way.
You have a genuine desire for children. You seem to also desire companionship.
At times, yes. When I am in a public place and see men with their pumpkins and kids playing. I could have given my pumpkin an amazing life. Our children would have the best of everything. I make plenty of money. Believe me. PM me if you are ever in Houston. I would love to meet you and show you my lifestyle. Hell, first class airfare on me. Pick any two days.
But I don’t think that is you. And I’d rather you at least try for happiness. So I think you should take serious steps to pursuing that happiness, and then let the details sort themselves out later. In the even that it doesn’t work out, you’ve learned and grown from the experience, so what is the harm?
You are right but that’s not all the time. It might be because of my blue pill fantasies which mess with my head sometimes.
And I do not believe women are capable of love either, and for me personally I need to be loved unconditionally to actually have any sexual interest. That very idea is an absolute joke when you gain that wisdom and experience. So that cooled everything off for me entirely and after I became celibate I could not bother with women anymore.
I also identify with this at times. Just not all the time.
My dose of reality is I can’t change the past. I might be able to do something about the present and the future.
+1
- AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
921526
921524
919244
916783
915526
915524
915354
915129
914037
909862
908811
908810
908500
908465
908464
908300
907963
907895
907477
902002
901301
901106
901105
901104
901024
901017
900393
900392
900391
900390
899038
898980
896844
896798
896797
895983
895850
895848
893740
893036
891671
891670
891336
891017
890865
889894
889741
889058
888157
887960
887768
886321
886306
885519
884948
883951
881340
881339
880491
878671
878351
877678
