Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › Had to put my mother in her place today
Tagged: MGTOW, movie, sell me marriage, Up In The Air
This topic contains 31 replies, has 20 voices, and was last updated by 
Akanbi 3 years, 2 months ago.
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Hello brothers, I had to do something today that was hard but long time coming, I had to put my mother in her place today. OK so some back story, my mother is a very kind person but has a warped religious feminist mind that is stuck in the 50’s. Currently I am dating this girl who is nice enough for now but I keep at arms length just like all other woman. I took her to meet my parents because they were begging to see the new person I was with (I have not dated in a while so they were curious).
They ask her typical questions any parent would but my mom has to open her mouth about kids and marriage. See my parents have been nagging me for ages to get married and have kids and to which I am not interested in it in any way. So the GF says yeah one day would be nice from what I assuming is her way of pleasing my parents. My mom hearing that lights up with glee and the following few days later sends me this email 8 f~~~’en paragraphs long about how I need to man up and get with this girl and take care of her and leave my hopes and dreams aside to make the GF happy and on and on and something about Jesus in their as well.
Let me tell you brothers I was done with that s~~~, for years I suffered this crap… I love my mom but I had to explain to her that her warped sense of reality does not work in our day in age. Women look at men as a pay cheques these days and nothing more. I told her I already explained to the GF that I am not interested in having kids nor even getting married at this point.
Boy of boy did that set off the multiple calls from my mom and dad saying I was making a mistake and how its my duty as a man to blah blah blah. I finally wrote an email back saying if you still want a son that they will respect my wishes and to kindly f~~~ off with the pushiness, its bad enough I have to listen to their religious mumbo jumbo but have them push more s~~~ on me.
I love my family but to be honest I feel like I was adopted, I am completely different from pretty much everyone in my family and extended family in every way possible. They are all a bunch of beta males and feminists running around like their s~~~ don’t stink. Glad I have MGTOW and good friends who think alike.
Anyone else have this problem or did I just the unlucky draw?
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
I remember my ex father in law trying to pressure me to have kids , happy I never.
Anonymous24That’s rough, but I would recommend sticking to your guns and do what you think is best for you/what you wanna do…
“Man up, get married, have kids, be a slave until you die cause the good book says so” F~~~ that s~~~.
I grew up in a family without religion, so, no, I did not have this problem at all. But I have seen it before in friends families, and usually the kids with the more oppressive religious parents rebelled the most and turned out more f~~~ed up down the road.
Funny how the religious type women always want the men to man up still but completely overlook the 10-15 years women spent on the carousel before wanting to settle down. I’m not a religious type myself…but I’m pretty sure the bible doesn’t approve of that lol.
I know when the time comes that my religious mother will pressure me to get married and have kids, I’ll just keep telling her I haven’t found the right one. She doesn’t know anything about my views regarding marriage and kids or about my vasectomy.
If it has tits or tires, you know you're going to have problems.
Anyone else have this problem or did I just the unlucky draw?
YES. And no your situation is not unique – by far.
We see this ALL the time, but women are always going to argue a generalization holding themselves (one) up as a shining example. You have 70% of men under 36 unmarried in the US and someone is gonna try and tell you that you’re somehow “odd”, or unreasonable?
How about sitting back and letting her SELL it to you.
Can’t be done.
“MAN UP” doesn’t work. Women have totally and permanently f~~~ed that up forever. Marriage is not a sign of maturity or responsibility and if it were, how CHILDISH is every woman who ever initiated a divorce?
She’s your mother. She is REQUIRED to look out for your best interests. And no man should should ever sign a marriage contract at the recommendation of a woman who HATES him enough to actually let him go through with it.
Sooner or later, a man’s gotta have this uncomfortable talk wth his parents. Fast forward to 1:40 if you want….
If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.You MGTOW choices are a win for your parents, they just don’t know it. My mum used to ask me when the grandchildren were coming along. She only asked a few times and I didn’t feel any pressure. I’m very lucky though, she’s really kept up with modern culture and now she encourages me not to have kids, not get married and supports the MGTOW movement. How cool is that?
My response when somebody tries to dictate what I should be doing: “Yeah? Well if YOU want it then YOU do it”.
If they didn't have pussies they'd have targets on their backs,
I’ve been in situations where a mother or grandmother is pressuring some male friend or relative to get married and have kids, all the while the poor hen-pecked husband sits meekly saying nothing, his internal monologue thinking “You really don’t have to do it fella – I often wish I f~~~ing hadn’t!”. Poor bloke doesn’t dare mention all the options (MGTOW, spinning plates, prostitutes, cybersex) for fear of making his internment all the more unbearable.
#ManOut
Don’t know why you put yourself through that stress.
Why would you bring a girl to meet your family.
Use this as a lesson. The less your family knows the better. You can’t make your mom understand.
It’s like putting meat on the ground and trying to rationally explain to a dog why it shouldn’t eat it. Your mom will always tear that meat up. And then your dad, etc have to listen to your mom.
One big button best avoided in life.
Peace brothers
Your parents will NEVER understand YOUR CHOICES. They have been plugged into the matrix their whole lives, and have no desire to leave it. That is all they know, and everything else is wrong.
My suggestion, is next time you get an e-mail from dear old mom and/or dad regarding this topic, just delete it without ANY type of response. Then laugh about it.
My suggestion, is the next time they want to “talk” about it, just go along with them without making any type of promises. For example, “I see”,”You have a point there”, “Well, maybe, you just never know”,”You’re definitely giving me something to think about” etc. Maybe after a while they’ll realize their in a no win situation with this topic.
My suggestion, don’t even try to explain anything to them remotely red pill because this is just going to start the whole s~~~ storm all over again. You can’t change them, and don’t let THEM change YOU !!
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Ditto Keymaster, and I would say that this mother/gf/acquiescent-complicit father/marriage-shaming situation is not only ubiquitous for strong-minded men, it’s also representative of a pattern you are likely to see in many other areas of your life as well. The short version of it is that other people just don’t like it whenever you don’t choose the same choices that they did. Some people see marriage and kids as a binary situation: you better do it and adhere to the script, because if you don’t, you don’t get the “goodies” (wtf are they, exactly?) or you’re failing in some imaginary duty. Women and blue pill men are always going to react negatively and viscerally to having their choice basically mocked (as they perceive it) when you don’t go along with it yourself.
Hunter S. Thompson once wrote something in a letter about if you can only see two choices, and neither one of them is the right choice for you, then it is your duty to find a third path. Ironically, I believe he was writing that letter to a woman.
Which is easily said, but goddamn, sometimes it can be hard to do! It seems like there is always someone telling you what is best for you. And it never stops– someone will always be shaming you into doing something that you don’t really want to do under the ruse of it being in YOUR best interests. You will have some asshole manager in the workplace telling you that you’re not challenging yourself by setting your goals high enough, all so he can extract more labor from you for free, or put off on you things that he doesn’t want to have to do. Some faceless advertiser will try to sell you something to fill a void that you don’t actually have, under the notion that it’s going to improve your life. Short of someone telling you that you have to stop doing meth or you’re going to kill yourself, the number of people who want you to do something without any evident benefit to themselves is actually very brief.
I am not a parent myself, but most of the really good ones I have known have told me all they really want is for their children to be happy. If there is a parent trying to sell you on something that you don’t really want to do, maybe it is because they don’t really know you. That wouldn’t be unusual. Most parents tend to create us in their own image, and assume what is right for them is right for us. It is possible that your parents can’t know who you are now, because they haven’t been around for your most formative experiences.
If you read around this forum, you will read stories by many of us, myself included, who once bought into binary choices. And we lived to regret it. We also corrected our trajectories–often at consequential cost–such to the point where we felt it was useful to share our knowledge with other people. Unfortunately in this life, there is not a lot of wisdom without some kind of corresponding loss. It’s hard to get old and wise without f~~~ing a few things up along the way. I have never been good at anything I did perfectly the first time around. Nor do I regret this situation. It is taught me that there are not that many unique situations in life, only a set of patterns. Avoiding undesirable outcomes means you understand how to spot the pattern.
When I can tell you from experience is if your gut tells you it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Your feelings and thoughts are self-evident on these matters. It sounds to me like you are well on your way to a principled, reasoned life, which you live for your own objectives, all of which are self defined.
I don’t know for sure, but my guess is, you would have a hard time naming 5 or even two male friends who live as they wish past the age of 30. The reason you don’t see more men like this is because it requires self-discipline, introspection, and thought. These are virtues that our popular culture has neglected for 50+ years, to our own diminishment. What you read here is the collective voice of a growing cadre of men who are refusing to live an outdated model for rewards that don’t exist anymore.
What I have learned in my life is that these bilious arguments without end are analogous to a fire. Arguing back against them is often like dumping dry hickory on a fire. I don’t know if you’ve done it, but when you simply stop talking and walk away from someone who is mired in insurmountable ignorance, the look on their face alone is worth it. It is incredibly liberating, and I wish I had discovered it earlier in life.
"Higgins: Magnum, feed the lads, would you? There are steaks in the freezer. [Magnum makes an excited face] Very well, you can have one too."
I told my mother that I view the lion share of women as thugs. The question was never raised again that was a year ago.
A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!
leave my hopes and dreams aside to make the GF happy
What the f~~~, from your own parents?
Funny how the religious type women always want the men to man up still but completely overlook the 10-15 years women spent on the carousel before wanting to settle down. I’m not a religious type myself…but I’m pretty sure the bible doesn’t approve of that lol.
Good posting.
See my parents have been nagging me for ages to get married and have kids and to which I am not interested in it in any way. So the GF says yeah one day would be nice from what I assuming is her way of pleasing my parents.
No, dude, be careful. They all want to get married and have kids. If she’s on the pill just wait for the inevitable ‘I must have accidentally forgot a day and I’m pregnant.”
Anyone else have this problem or did I just the unlucky draw?
YES. And no your situation is not unique – by far.
We see this ALL the time, but women are always going to argue a generalization holding themselves (one) up as a shining example. You have 70% of men under 36 unmarried in the US and someone is gonna try and tell you that you’re somehow “odd”, or unreasonable?
How about sitting back and letting her SELL it to you.
Can’t be done.
“MAN UP” doesn’t work. Women have totally and permanently f~~~ed that up forever. Marriage is not a sign of maturity or responsibility and if it were, how CHILDISH is every woman who ever initiated a divorce?
She’s your mother. She is REQUIRED to look out for your best interests. And no man should should ever sign a marriage contract at the recommendation of a woman who HATES him enough to actually let him go through with it.
Sooner or later, a man’s gotta have this uncomfortable talk wth his parents. Fast forward to 1:40 if you want….
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I could not have said it better than this @keymaster , Next time someone says get married have kids I will say sell it to me why I have to buy into this BS. I also pretty much did what that black fellow did in that video, and I got an email back this morning actually from my mom saying she understands what I was saying and thankfully will back off.
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
See my parents have been nagging me for ages to get married and have kids and to which I am not interested in it in any way. So the GF says yeah one day would be nice from what I assuming is her way of pleasing my parents.
No, dude, be careful. They all want to get married and have kids. If she’s on the pill just wait for the inevitable ‘I must have accidentally forgot a day and I’m pregnant.”
Yeah that is what I always have in the back of my mind, I am seriously thinking of getting snipped… I need to 100% sure though before I go through it and I am only at 95%… I am not sure what is holding up the 5% but at this time.
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
I used to get this sort of thing a lot. “When are you going to settle down, get married, have kids, blah, blah, blah”. It was never in my plan, and when I got tired of the questions I found the perfect answer to put a stop to it. “I enjoy my life as it is. It’s quiet and free of nagging…….most of the time”. They usually have no rebuttal and never bring it up again.
Anonymous3I took her to meet my parents because they were begging to see the new person I was with (I have not dated in a while so they were curious).
They have nothing to do with your private life. You are an adult, do what you want, do not let others to force you with begging or whatever.
but my mom has to open her mouth about kids and marriage.
These two words are to be avoided at all possible means if you are around a girl.
And, marriage and kids are the very common topics in a mom’s mind. It is a good idea to keep mom and girlfriend far away. In electronics, there is a term “decoupling”, meaning to avoid unwanted cross-talk among electronics components. This is what one needs to do in life, only tell people what they need to know!
(Of course there is the classic “divide and conquer” saying. But we are peaceful, and don’t exactly want to conquer things, we just want to be left alone to do whatever we want, and not nagged begged harassed blackmailed about things we don’t care, so “decoupling” is a better description.)and something about Jesus in their as well.
As far as I know, Jesus was not married.
how its my duty as a man to blah blah blah.
It is not written into the laws. So it is not a real duty like for example paying taxes and wearing the seat belt. Anyone referring to unwritten rules should f~~~ themselves and go to hell.
I feel like I was adopted, I am completely different from pretty much everyone in my family and extended family in every way possible.
I know that feel, man…
No, dude, be careful. They all want to get married and have kids. If she’s on the pill just wait for the inevitable ‘I must have accidentally forgot a day and I’m pregnant.”
I totally agree. there is a saying, that “If she says you don’t need to wear condom, that is when you really need to wear condom.”
@DarthPeter I hear yah man, I should have never brought the GF over to meet the family, thankfully they live far away and I do not have to see them on a regular basis. It is too bad to be honest as I understand how family can be a great thing if it is done right but mine is very draining especially on my dad’s side of things.
Knowledge is power..... Don't waste your brain on bullshit
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