Yeah, I too grew up in a female-dominated home. My mother would start screaming over the smallest thing, and no matter how well you did in school or some event or whatever she always came out with “And why didn’t you do X?”. Even if you did 99% of something in an excellent manner, she would always start berating you for that 1% while ignoring the remaining 99% (i.e., she wouldn’t ever praise you no matter what; I could literally end up with the best results of everyone in the entire school in every subject and she would ignore all that and berate me for the one subject where I only got a so-so result. No wonder I ended up not caring about school…). And my sisters… Well, one of them essentially treated me like I didn’t exist, and got angry anytime she had to acknowledge my existence for whatever reason. My other sister physically assaulted me nearly every day. I fought back, of course, and won every time thanks to my martial arts training (as you can probably guess, I didn’t start training for fun), but I never initiated violence or continued on after I’d beaten her. Over the course of my life she has tried to kill me – literally, kill me – several dozen times. She’s tried to strangle me, drown me, stab me, beat me to death with blunt instruments, shoot me in the head…you get the idea. She once threatened me with an axe, but I don’t recall if she actually swung it or not; at that point I’d become so desentisized to people trying to kill me (yup, I suffered numerous murder attempts from outside my family too) that people enacting violence against me barely even registered; once I’d successfully defended myself, the event basically faded into the background noise in my memory. Few people know how it feels to wake up in the middle of the night with your own sister’s hands around your throat, or having to run up and disarm her after she missed the first shot and before she could get off another. I do.
So yeah, I know fully well how aggressive, violent and vindictive women can act. I have a better relationship with my mother these days, but whenever we end up talking about my childhood she always refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing, or deflect it onto my father. Once, she asked me why I didn’t dislike my father for yelling a lot – I told her that I didn’t dislike him for it because he yelled at her while she yelled at everyone. More often than not, he yelled at her because she either verbally attacked him or because she verbally attacked one of us kids. She went very quiet after that and so far hasn’t brought it up again. As a teenager I swore that if I ever started a family I would make sure that any and all of my offspring learned proper morals from me straight away, and also how to defend themselves, to keep anything like my own childhood from repeating itself. Of course, I later decided not to start a family in the first place after seeing that while most women didn’t act nearly as aggressively and violently as the ones in my immediate family, they still acted irrationally as par for the course.
And people wonder why I don’t want kids…
There lies serenity in Chaos. Seek ye the eye of the hurricane.
Chucks_Revenge 4 years, 7 months ago.
