Thinking of Leaving? Take This Quiz

[CatoParticipant 65]

I am in the process of divorcing my wife of 30 years. It is something I have been contemplating for a long time, but as many of you know, pulling the trigger is not easy, especially if children are involved. I would like to share with you a test I found online recently that was of great benefit in my decision (perhaps second only to the support of this forum).

If you have to answer NO to these questions, it is time to GTFO now and GYOW.  And don’t look back, and don’t be like me and waste half your life trying to figure it out. Be wise, my friend, and learn from the experience of others:

1. Do you believe that her wants, needs, and feelings are more important than yours?

2. Do you believe that her hopes and dreams are more meaningful than yours, especially when she does nothing to pursue them?

3. Do you believe her concerns and grievances are more legitimate and in greater need of redress than yours?

4. Do you believe it is your responsibility to cater to her petulant whims and unreasonable expectations and calm her temper tantrums whenever she feels unhaaaapppy?

5. Do you really want to be with someone who makes you miserable?

6. Do you think you are helping the situation by staying married to a woman who believes that YOU are the source of her misery?

It’s never too late to reclaim your life. After all, it’s YOUR LIFE.  Who do you want running it??

 

 

[RoyDalParticipant]

Good list, makes sense. Good luck with the divorce.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[experiencedParticipant]

@cato,”6. Do you think you are helping the situation by staying married to a woman who believes that YOU are the source of her misery?

For the new younger arrivals, this also helps in the format,”6. Do you think you are helping the situation by marrying a woman when in 80% of divorces, they believe the MEN are the source of their misery?

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)Participant 2572]

I think I am immune to ever getting married, because I operate under an assumption that whatever woman I would ever marry, there would be a mutual working out of situations where both sides get what they want, and it is a power play.  Any woman who I can’t connect with this way, I am not going to consider.  I am now in my late 40s and never been married, so I guess this approach works great for keeping me single.

Anyhow, good luck with the GYOW.

"I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

[Quiet ThomParticipant 116]

You are my hero. I was married almost 32 years when my wife passed away. By God’s grace, I didn’t realise, during my marriage, just how much my life sucked. Now I know. I also know that am much happier without a wife. I have relationships with women on my terms and, if that’s a problem, I move on. Best to you, Sir.

[CatoParticipant 65]

Thank you Quiet Thom. We don’t know each other at all, yet I feel a kinship, like 2 prisoners suddenly released from the Gulag. We don’t have to know one another to know one another.

[Proud MasculistParticipant 39]

Gynocentrism begins in the home.  Sadly, I come from a female-sibling-dominant “family”, that is of the female, by the female, and for the female.  This has had a VERY negative effect on my life, and I therefore boycott “family” functions, which of course are run by females.

[Chucks_RevengeParticipant 216]

Proud Masculist wrote:

Gynocentrism begins in the home. Sadly, I come from a female-sibling-dominant “family”, that is of the female, by the female, and for the female. This has had a VERY negative effect on my life, and I therefore boycott “family” functions, which of course are run by females.

I responded to this comment but decided it was worthy of its own thread. You’ll find it @ /forums/topic/growing-up-in-a-female-dominated-home/

[Anonymous 0]

IGMOW (I Go My Own Way) wrote:

I think I am immune to ever getting married, because I operate under an assumption that whatever woman I would ever marry, there would be a mutual working out of situations where both sides get what they want, and it is a power play. Any woman who I can’t connect with this way, I am not going to consider. I am now in my late 40s and never been married, so I guess this approach works great for keeping me single. Anyhow, good luck with the GYOW.

I agree that negotiation (“a mutual working out of the situation”) should be the gold standard telling us whether or how much we can deal with another person.

Naturally, two people can’t come to agreement on everything. There are times I’m going to butt heads with people around me on principles, beliefs, baggage, etc. It’s okay to “agree to disagree” on some things. We can just put those things aside or draw a boundary there, assuming they aren’t critical to the relationship.

But the basic principle of any relationship should be that *most* areas of interaction should be subject to honest and fair negotiation. If the other person regularly  refuses to negotiate and instead demands that I yield rights or space simply because they are too traumatized or rigid or PC or whatever to consider my side of things, then more and more of the relationship gets “put aside” and more and more boundaries are raised between us.

If that continues, then at some point we’re just living side by side with a dividing boundary drawn down the center of our common space. We’re just neighbors with a high wall between us. That’s fine, if that happens, but don’t call it a relationship or a marriage. And stay the hell off my property.

[BiG_WeaselParticipant 116]

There’s nothing you can accomplish married that you *cannot also* accomplish as a single guy.  Best of all, you don’t have to check-in or ask permission.  “How much is this gonna cost? Are you crazy?”.   I love how, now, if I want something, I buy it.  If I wanna go somewhere, I go.  Simple as that.

[felixParticipant 406]

BiG_Weasel wrote:

There’s nothing you can accomplish married that you *cannot also* accomplish as a single guy.

In fact, I think it is the other way around. There is a hell of a lot you cannot accomplish when married.  Some choices require an ‘all in bet’  and a married man cannot conscientiously take that risk.

more throttle ..... less brakes.....

[firefight_617Participant 0]

Ive answered “no” to those types of questions numerous times over the past 8 years of my marriage. But yet here I sit going through this vicious cycle of wanting to get the hell out but I stay because I’m more concerned with how hurt she will be.

3 years ago I told her I was unhappy and considered leaving her. I gave in to her crying and tried marriage counseling. Didn’t really do much other than numb my feelings even more. Fast forward to last spring when I told her again I had been unhappy for quite some time and wanted to separate. She stayed at her sisters for a couple nights then came home. We talked about things and her being the emotional basket case she is wore me out once again and boom here I am one year later, unhappy, bored, and fed up with her constant need of reassurance that I love her. Her lack of confidence has been present since the start of the relationship and that is just one of the red flags I should have acknowledged.

We only dated for 6 months before getting engaged, then married 8 months later. She was 20 at the time and I was 25. I know this is my fault but f**k I wish someone would have dope slapped me to wake me up back then.

[skaird0283Participant 0]

Get out while you can NOW.  I am in a similar relationship where I literally picked her off the streets, made her into something (she had no high school degree and was doing nothing but drugs). Told her to get her life together f she was going to be with me and a part of my family. 10 years later, when she put me in a mental hospital and made me lose my job that had provided for years, she has kicked me down, openly unapologetically and remorselessly made it very clear she is f~~~ing her drug dealer and other guys. While I am here raising my 3 kids with their grandparents and still looking for a job.  From my experience, all I can say is RUN…NOW. Please don’t end up like me “feeling sorry” for her. That’s what she wants. Because when you are down and out, they will find someone and leave your ass dead and cold and not give two f~~~s about you. You’ve been warned.

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