Grieving

[Anonymous 0]

I was raised a religious traditionalist, and embraced it: married 16 years, kids, professional career. I disaffected from religion over 4 years ago, and soon after from traditionalism when I took the red pill about 3 years ago on the heels of my divorce, and I am still grieving. The acknowledgment that: gender relations are f~~~ed; a traditional relationship is risky and destructive for men because of gynocentrism; being minimized out of my kids’ lives…it’s all very hard for me to accept. I grieve for my grade school children: 2 boys and a girl. Even if I succeed at keeping my ex from alienating the kids from me, will they ever have the opportunity for safe, happy relationships?

In 2014, shortly after my divorce, I started trying to pick up women or start a relationship, and I quickly learned how hard it is to find a quality, compatible match, not just for a girlfriend, but even just a FWB or NSA. That was the year of my red pill education. By early 2015, I was nearly ready to monk, but then a decent lady came into my life. She asked me out for coffee, and we hit it off well. We were off and (mostly) on as boy/girlfriend for over two years, and it finally came to a head last month when we ended on a sour note. In the last couple weeks, I’ve mentally geared myself to monk indefinitely.

I’ve had some very rough experiences that painfully forced me to see how frightening and harmful this gynocentric era is in which we live, not just in marriage and relationships, but even dangerous at work too. I don’t see how society rights itself, and it does seem like society is on a path where things will continue to worsen for relationships, family, economy, etc. Even if society collapses, as many mgtow seem to believe, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will be in our lifetime, or that it will reset to a better social situation. Maybe a contemporary dark ages after the collapse? What kind of world is that worth living in?

I am agnostic, and I’m atheist towards traditional monotheism, but open to other beliefs of theism and the afterlife. I do not believe there is an omni-benevolent god ready to reward or punish us, and I choose to live a kindness-based ethos the best I can. Who knows what happens after we die. I’m not necessarily counting on an afterlife. So, I want to cherish this life as much as I can, but I don’t really feel there is much meaningful for me to live for. I love being a father, but I’m being denied that. My career is on the rocks, and I’ve racked up some inordinate debt. Given the risks of gynocentrism, and the pool of poor-quality of women, the chance of lasting happiness in a relationship is very low. What am I living for? Wage slave for the next 10 years to pay child support into my late 50s, and live in solitude and personal hobbies, I guess?

I have no problem going monk, but what am I living for? Not the next life, if there is one, whatever that might be. I grieve not just for myself, but how humans, men and women, are being denied such potential for happiness and security because of gynocentrism.

Besides monking, I weigh all the options about my course related to my kids and my ex. I despise what she has done; it’s truly been a shock to me.

Thoughts?

Are there any divorced fathers out there who have made it through this stage of the aftermath of divorce and are glad they stuck it out?

[Anonymous 43]

welcome brother.

there are men here who had similar experiences and will be happy to help you. keep watching this thread

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22601]

Anonymous wrote:

My career is on the rocks, and I’ve racked up some inordinate debt. Given the risks of gynocentrism, and the pool of poor-quality of women, the chance of lasting happiness in a relationship is very low.

What keeps me going is that events have gone pear-shaped after President Trump was elected. Things are getting interesting.

And where is the rush. We are going to check out anyway. Even if you are heading out the door, you might as well take your time and enjoy yourself.

To quote Hunter S. Thompson: “We’d be fools not to ride this strange torpedo all the way out to the end.”

Forget about the bitches. It is not your fault there is no real selection. If your job is on the rocks find another job you like. About debt, just kick five to ten dollars a month towards each of the debts. Unless it is a mortgage, most judges do not care how much a debt is being paid as long as something is being regularly paid. Most hospitals will settle for twenty-five dollars a month for their bills than nothing at all. If all else fails, try your luck in bankruptcy court.

[hmskl’dParticipant 6422]

Welcome.

[Anonymous 6]

Wassup fool!

[OldBillParticipant]

Welcome.

The only answers to your questions are the ones you forge for yourself.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[ghostParticipant]

Welcome.

Anonymous wrote:

I have no problem going monk, but what am I living for?

Your kids.

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

ghost wrote:

Welcome.

GenXRex wrote:

I have no problem going monk, but what am I living for?

Your kids.

My kids kept me going for sure; but it’s still hard.

[Anonymous 43]

thinking about my kids saved me from self immolation.

[DocParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

I was raised a religious traditionalist, and embraced it: married 16 years, kids, professional career. I disaffected from religion over 4 years ago, and soon after from traditionalism when I took the red pill about 3 years ago on the heels of my divorce, and I am still grieving. The acknowledgment that: gender relations are f~~~ed; a traditional relationship is risky and destructive for men because of gynocentrism; being minimized out of my kids’ lives…it’s all very hard for me to accept. I grieve for my grade school children: 2 boys and a girl. Even if I succeed at keeping my ex from alienating the kids from me, will they ever have the opportunity for safe, happy relationships?

In 2014, shortly after my divorce, I started trying to pick up women or start a relationship, and I quickly learned how hard it is to find a quality, compatible match, not just for a girlfriend, but even just a FWB or NSA. That was the year of my red pill education. By early 2015, I was nearly ready to monk, but then a decent lady came into my life. She asked me out for coffee, and we hit it off well. We were off and (mostly) on as boy/girlfriend for over two years, and it finally came to a head last month when we ended on a sour note. In the last couple weeks, I’ve mentally geared myself to monk indefinitely.

I’ve had some very rough experiences that painfully forced me to see how frightening and harmful this gynocentric era is in which we live, not just in marriage and relationships, but even dangerous at work too. I don’t see how society rights itself, and it does seem like society is on a path where things will continue to worsen for relationships, family, economy, etc. Even if society collapses, as many mgtow seem to believe, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will be in our lifetime, or that it will reset to a better social situation. Maybe a contemporary dark ages after the collapse? What kind of world is that worth living in?

I am agnostic, and I’m atheist towards traditional monotheism, but open to other beliefs of theism and the afterlife. I do not believe there is an omni-benevolent god ready to reward or punish us, and I choose to live a kindness-based ethos the best I can. Who knows what happens after we die. I’m not necessarily counting on an afterlife. So, I want to cherish this life as much as I can, but I don’t really feel there is much meaningful for me to live for. I love being a father, but I’m being denied that. My career is on the rocks, and I’ve racked up some inordinate debt. Given the risks of gynocentrism, and the pool of poor-quality of women, the chance of lasting happiness in a relationship is very low. What am I living for? Wage slave for the next 10 years to pay child support into my late 50s, and live in solitude and personal hobbies, I guess?

I have no problem going monk, but what am I living for? Not the next life, if there is one, whatever that might be. I grieve not just for myself, but how humans, men and women, are being denied such potential for happiness and security because of gynocentrism.

Besides monking, I weigh all the options about my course related to my kids and my ex. I despise what she has done; it’s truly been a shock to me.

Thoughts?

Are there any divorced fathers out there who have made it through this stage of the aftermath of divorce and are glad they stuck it out?

Think longer term GenXRex. Your story is very similar to mine. Separated in 2014. Divorced in 2016. Two children. Boy and girl aged 5 and 4. My daughter was barely 5 months old when wifey chucked me. String of girls since speration. Zero satisfaction gained on my part so ditched every one of them.
I am going Monk and as much as possible ghosting. Very hard to do as a dad in my opion.

Play the long game and just see as much of your kids as you can. I explain to my two why our life is like it is. I don’t criticise ex-wifey to them but outline the forces that destroyed their family. Perhaps I should but they deserve to know. I’m not filling their heads with crap, just letting them know how this world works.

Focus on your kids and teach them how s~~~ works.

God doesn’t even have to come into the argument. F~~~ him anyway. If he exists he can take the criticism. If he can’t take a critisicm he ain’t a f~~~ing God.

I try to subscribe to Buddhist thinking to keep my sanity. Not great at holding it all the time I admit. The guys on here have given me a lot of pointers on MGTOW material and internet content.

I understand what you are grieving. But keep your eyes open Brother. The world is not what it looks like.

Separate your wants from your needs.
You have WANTED a relationship. It is clear from what you have written. But you don’t NEED one.
A relationship is just distraction and misdirection. And unltimately more anguish.
Take a firm hand and control what you really need.

You NEED your kids and they NEED you.
Your debts will get sorted. Take the advice above.
Set up home as close to your kids as you can. Certainly the same town or a very short drive. Keep their world with you and the world with their mother joined up so they feel connected and not distant from either you (when they with their mother) or vice versa.

No need to worry about checking out yet either.
Seriously – what’s the rush. Stay for the kids.
My dad killed him self in 2015. I don’t know if I have grieved yet. I’m angry so can’t grieve.

Got to work, take it a day at a time. Plan the day let tomorrow worry about itself. Focus on the kids. You need each other.

Stay safe my friend.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[BigDParticipant 3024]

I’m sorry you lost your faith. However, I think you’ve lost your faith with the people of your religion and not the religion.

Unless your preacher preached, “Wives are subordinate to their husbands…” and told the truth about the evils of women that are outlined in the Bible, then I can see how you were mislead.

The Churches can no longer preach what is in the Bible. Same as Politicians can’t do the right thing and still get voted in. It’s all one PC mess.

Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.

[MoreSkyParticipant 4865]

Anonymous wrote:

Are there any divorced fathers out there who have made it through this stage of the aftermath of divorce and are glad they stuck it out?

Welcome GenXRex.

Going through divorce and surviving is a very common reason that many brothers are here, myself included. I don’t know what percentage of brothers are divorced fathers but I suspect it is quite significant.

As men and fathers we understand the concepts of honour, duty and loyalty and put our children first. We will do and put up with anything to ensure their well-being and happiness. These concepts are alien to the modern woman, but they do take advantage of them to get there own way and the courts support them in this.

Glad to stick it out through the divorce and aftermath? – absolutely. As I have learned recently, through the help of MGTOW, now is the opportunity to define your own life, your own goals and your own purpose.

Being voluntarily celibate (going monk) is also the way that suits me best. Interaction with women is minimal and the benefits to your health, wealth and sanity are considerable. Being able to operate with a clear mind and not letting things worry you (NFG principle) can provide a basis for working within the gynocentric system (often necessary for financial reasons) with minimal stress.

I am not religious, but I respect those that are. Perhaps your frustration with your faith comes more from an sense of injustice generated by society than anger at God. Not really something I know much about, but it may be worth considering.

There are many posts on the subjects you have brought up. Have a good read through the site and ask questions. I found this helpful when I was in a bad way. There are many brothers who will answer and help. Some of those who helped me have already responded to your post.

"...reinvent your life because you must; it is your life and its history and the present belong only to you.” It is Your Life, Charles Bukowski.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

From a divorcing father, welcome GenXRex.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 3]

Anonymous wrote:

but what am I living for?

That’t the most important question to ask yourself about. And the first step towards happiness.
Realize: your life was a lie. Everything what you were believing, working for, and so on was a lie. Question everything. You are already on the way, questioned the lies of religion and love. Welcome to the dark side. From now on, do not believe anything without evidence, for example personal experience of you or others, and proven facts. (That’s why I became a scientist after losing religion. That’s why I changed traditional courtship bulls~~~ to PUA, and when my relationships didn’t last and weren’t happy (more stress than sex) whatever I tried, changed it to MGTOW.)

Also think on the log run: Your debt will be paid back and children grow up in few years. What is the long term goal that from now on you will aim for? My answer when I asked myself: I’m living for learning new things everyday, having fun, peace, doing whatever fun I want without asking for permissions from someone, and having the resources to do that. In one word, some kind of hedonism is the answer. You have this one life, make sure you have fun.

[RedDawnParticipant 1391]

I was never married, but my son doesn’t live with me. I personally just look for the things to be grateful for in my life, rather than continually grieve what I don’t have. But still important to acknowledge grieving.

Courage is the key to life itself - Morgan Freeman

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Anonymous wrote:

GenXRex wrote:
but what am I living for?

That’t the most important question to ask yourself about. And the first step towards happiness.
Realize: your life was a lie. Everything what you were believing, working for, and so on was a lie

Welcome brother,

I also stood on the same cliff as you.

It takes time. Your most prized possessions have been taken away from you. Your beliefs!

It takes decades. Your children are a brief moment in your timeline.

For me, I sold everything and bought a trailer RV and went contact engineer. Nomad on wheels.

I studied. Real study. Not indoctrination learning.

I slowly uncovered lie after lie. For me, Nikola Tesla was the catalyst. Everyone knows about him an Edison. What is not taught is him and Einstein.

Most will tell you to focus on a hobby or interest. This is a version of what I did as well.

Basically, as boys we made life decisions. Most of us were not prepared to even have a family.

Boys are not taught to take the time needed to become a man before pulling the resource cart.

Some compound the problem by jumping into relationships, etc.

Welcome brother.

Peace brothers

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

Greetings GXR,

Appreciate your Introduction and the great replies it has generated.

I have been where you are at. Let me reassure you that it can get better, especially since you found MGTOW.com, it is a Gold mine. So, keep digging.

Read and listen to all of the material in the Archives/ Forums.

Participate in the Forums.

Ask for help from your brothers here at MGTOW.

You can read everything I and other MGTOWS posted by looking into our profiles. You are not alone.

It took a decade for me to learn that going Monk was the only solution for me.

Alas, I wasted much of my life on another path which I have written about last year.

In my defense, I spent too much of my life in a loveless sexless marriage. And I wanted to experience being a Chad after my divorce.

The following links are my field reports and tips about how to travel that destructive path:

/forums/topic/having-a-stable-of-women/

/forums/topic/hard-earned-strategies-used-while-engaging-the-girlfriend-option/

Nevertheless, the path that got me into RelationS~~~S with womyn after my divorce came at great cost to my Serenity and Soul. And I wasted my forties on that foolishness.

Anyway, you are more valuable than you realize.

MGTOW is a great place for you to learn about how amazing your life can be.

Try to be grateful that you have finally discovered that women are destructive, dangerous, and evil. AWALT.

Here is a test to determine where you are on the MGTOW Road:

Does a group of women talking sound like a bunch of hen’s clucking or are they “fascinating” to you?

There is still time for a better life now that you understand that along with stealing your wealth and freedom, woman will steal your will to live.

Besides the Gynocentric hell which makes men want to kill themselves, you are surrounded by a multitude of mechanisms which are designed to take you down.

The following YouTube video from an Australian comedian exposes what it is like in schools (And Professional Careers) these days:

Blue Pill life effects the condition of a man’s Soul.

Tower wrote something last year about how a man’s soul is like a roll of toilet paper that gets used up when we are in a RelationS~~~ with a woman. In time and with continued interaction with her, what remains of a of a man’s soul is just an empty cardboard roll.

On a side note, I have observed that married men raising Daughters are the most damaged. They are combative, hyperactive, impoverished, and most depraved of the Blue Pill Slaves. Many of them are hyper masculine, highly motivated, and driven.

Sadly, men like that are a force to be reckoned with. They would put us in the same boat as our Great Enemy. If they had their way, they would have MGTOWs hanging from lamp posts along with the Commie Feminist Beasts, Gays, and Lesbians.

On a positive note, there is a different road which is rarely traveled these days, the MGTOW Monk. I have been fortunate to have personally known a Natural Born MGTOW. He has been that way his whole life. In some of my replies within the Forums, I have written about him and described him as my Mentor Dave, the man with a wonderful Soul.

Lately, I have posted that Natural Born MGTOWs like Dave are the real “Unicorns.” I have often described how outstanding he is as a man and how magical his life has been. Anyone who spends time with him becomes a better person and their Souls become brighter.

Former Blue Pill Slaves like myself who are on the MGTOW Road are just trying to salvage what is left of our Souls. Most of us have learned our MGTOW lessons the hard way. We are not interested in going back to the Plantation nor paying attention to fools who believe they can manage a “White Tiger.”

MGTOW.com is bright beacon for men who are lost in darkness.

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[Anonymous 0]

Thank you for the welcomes, your observations, and input.

A couple of weeks since my breakup, and my ex-girlfriend still gets too much of my thoughts, but on the positive side, I feel my resolve to monk strengthening with each passing moment. My primary concern with her now is that she will be vindictive to me even though I have blocked her and otherwise cut her out of my life as best I can. You never know what a vindictive woman will do. I hope that with distance of time and space, she will forget about me and I won’t be worth her energy.

I have listened to not a few mgtow videos on youtube. It started with sandman in 2014, and turd flinging monkey most recently. I feel fairly educated on the mgtow lifestyle and paradigms. It took me a while to accept the necessity of monking, and now I’m trying to adjust to the monking lifestyle.

Something I wish was stressed over and over in the mgtow community is not to talk about mgtow outside of mgtow, and why not to talk about it outside of mgtow. mgtow has not risen conspicuously in the the consciousness of mainstream society yet (although it does seem to be spreading quickly), but those in the gynocentric society (traditionalists and feminists) who do have some inkling of it, reject and hate mgtow, and identifying yourself with mgtow just makes you a target for punishment in social circles, work, wherever.

I have only recently come to understand the necessity for being discreet about mgtow. I still have a fair amount of so called “red pill rage” along with my grief, and I tend to be straightforward to call out bulls~~~. But this has not served me well, and has out’ed me as a woman-hating MRA in some social circles. I’m just fine no longer being a part of those circles…the world is a big place after all, but not too big. So, I finally figured out that it’s best to be hidden in plain sight.

I want to fight gynocentrism, if not anything for my children’s sake, but I’m still trying to determine the most effective way to go about that. For now, I’m doing my best to focus on getting back on my feet while being in my kids’ lives the best I can.

I tend to be very independent, and I’ve often felt I don’t have a natural tribe, but I do feel an affinity in mgtow.

Cheers, fellow mgtow’rs.

[The Manipulated ManParticipant 1856]

I hope you are able to spend more time with your children.

Thankfully, I eventually got custody of my Son. It happens.

Our culture attacks any man who tries to teach their children or raise them by himself.
I did it anyway.
It was MY choice.

Home Schooling was eventually the only option. It is also known as “Unschooling.”

A lot of educators have written about the dangers of our current educational system.

My favorite material that I have enjoyed about home schooling is from a man. His name is John Holt (not John Gault):

http://www.johnholtgws.com/

Here are some quotes from John Holt’s reply to Dr. Jerome Bruner’s letter to the NY Review of Books:

“The proper business of the intellectual is to:
Make complicated ideas more simple, not simple ideas more complicated;
Make the real world more comprehensible, not less so.”

Alas, all of the home school support groups and conferences are dominated by women.

Furthermore, our children are subjected to all sorts of strange poisons like POP Culture, Fast Foods, Feminism, Television, and other addictions.

What happens when a man finally comprehends the cold and calculating thoughts that are going through a woman's mind, while her eyes are brimming with tears?

[MACHOParticipant]

Welcome home GenXRex, sorry to read how harsh the gynocentric system has treated you. You’re lucky to have landed here man, a unique place where you will rediscover what it’s like to be a man. Stick around and your outlook will for sure improve weekly if not daily.

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve had some very rough experiences that painfully forced me to see how frightening and harmful this gynocentric era is in which we live, not just in marriage and relationships, but even dangerous at work too. I don’t see how society rights itself, and it does seem like society is on a path where things will continue to worsen

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Author]

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