Good Friend Getting Used by Divorced Woman

[Nathan R. JessepParticipant 1102]

Here’s the situation, a bit long but I want to explain it so I can get advice on how to get through to him.

This guy is 42, has been divorced for about a year (two years separated) and has sole custody of his two kids (6 and 8). His ex-wife started doing drugs and whoring around so he divorced her. She barely in the picture now and rarely sees the children (believe every other weekend).

A few months ago a very attractive (for being in early 40’s) woman with two young kids herself moved in across the street. He never noticed any guys around so he decided to get to know her. Found out she’s in the middle of a divorce (separated for nearly a year but supposedly has to wait a full year for it to be final).

He asked me what I thought at the time and I said stay away, no good can come from it (c’mon, a woman with two kids who is not even divorced yet?) but of course he ignored it. Invited her family over a BBQ on a Saturday and then took them to the zoo (he paid for her and the kids) the next day. After that he got her number and they were texting a lot (as in all day). The day after that they went out for a coffee date (he asked her out for lunch and she changed it to coffee).

So then they started meeting in evenings after the kids were asleep and this is where it gets weird. They started sharing all the details of their divorces and hugging all the time…seriously, they would hug for like an hour. He was all excited by this so at first I tried not to burst his bubble, thinking he would come to his senses. Well, he didn’t and the next thing I know he’s telling me that he’s buying dinner for her and the kids and getting her and the kids little gifts. She still won’t go on a real date with him and blames it on the kids (can’t get a baby sitter?) As this point (after a month of hearing this) I’m like what the f~~~ is wrong with you? Then he told me that they made out a couple times (no other touching, just hugging and kissing). I told him he’s being used for her to get over the divorce and that she has no plans to have sex with him.

The frustrating part is I told him from the beginning that it’s mistake to date this woman and he’s already spends hundreds of dollars on her with only a lot of hugging and a few make out sessions to make up for it. It seems obvious to me what she’s doing but he thinks she’s falling in love with him. I never knew the guy was such a mangina and I’m losing a lot of respect for him.

[Anonymous 18]

You did your bit.

Stand back and watch the circus. If you try any harder he will bitch about how he thought you were a true friend to his new-found cuddle buddy.

Let it play out and give us the briefing once she asks him to babysit the kids because she has some paperwork (*cough Chad cough*) to file for divorce.

Your friend is on the path to red pill. Sometimes it takes more than a divorce.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

He needs to cut his losses. Even if he does rail her, he looses. He will be the first in the dick-go-round.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

He’s a chalk outline in her life. Pretty sweet to have someone show up to support you. Lucky her

Peace brothers

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

You won’t make him change his mind, and she won’t screw a mangina. He will pay and chad will play. Then he will get hurt a 2nd time. Best case she won’t burn him too bad and you wait in wings till the redpill gets swallowed.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[Anonymous 42]

He who feed wild monkey some day get face chewed off!

[Oz-BlokeParticipant 3233]

They watched the movie ‘Blended’ and think that Hollywood s~~~ can work in real-life. Sometimes walking wallets like your mate never shut-up-shop. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice .. …..

#ManOut

[AwakenedParticipant 35203]

Hopefully, your friend escapes this with just a few minor emotional bumps and bruises. It could be worse, she could be giving him the goods and setting her hooks into husband #2. With any luck she’ll friend zone him, and then maybe you can turn him onto the truth. Until then, be around if he needs a friend, but don’t try to tell him what to do even though you can see the impending train wreck.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Anonymous 11]

Freshly divorced women are some of the most unstable things on this planet. She’s not even divorced yet either. That one year crap is just an excuse. I’ve seen divorces go through in less than two months.

More than likely, she’s not really finished with her ex. This is a very common problem. Your friend sounds like her temp wallet.

Kick back and watch the train wreck. At least you can know in your heart that you tried.

[Nathan R. JessepParticipant 1102]

Anonymous wrote:

Freshly divorced women are some of the most unstable things on this planet. She’s not even divorced yet either. That one year crap is just an excuse. I’ve seen divorces go through in less than two months.

More than likely, she’s not really finished with her ex. This is a very common problem. Your friend sounds like her temp wallet.

Kick back and watch the train wreck. At least you can know in your heart that you tried.

The bolded is how I see it. Not planning to say anything else to him, but it sucks to watch happen.

[BoarParticipant]

Nathan R. Jessep wrote:

I never knew the guy was such a mangina and I’m losing a lot of respect for him.

Well maybe that will soften the blow of losing your friend. It sounds like he is already gone. And if they do get together, then you will be excised from the life he will be permitted to live.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[Jim01Participant 6678]

Anonymous wrote:

You did your bit.

Stand back and watch the circus. If you try any harder he will bitch about how he thought you were a true friend to his new-found cuddle buddy.

Let it play out and give us the briefing once she asks him to babysit the kids because she has some paperwork (*cough Chad cough*) to file for divorce.

Your friend is on the path to red pill. Sometimes it takes more than a divorce.

ha ha laughed at that!

but as others have said; this guy is being used as an emotional tampon. She is getting support and a walking ATM and he will be discarded later on when she no longer needs him.

but wtf is that all about hugging for an hour?! some people just never learn

[FermatParticipant 3478]

Anonymous wrote:

Stand back and watch the circus.

It’s going to graduate from circus to full on car accident real quick.

I have discovered a truly remarkable list of reasons why women are not necessary for a happy life, but alas this margin is too small to contain it.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Introduce her to Chad.

Introduce your friend to her soon-to-be-ex husband.

Both will be a much needed education for him.

[,Participant 1301]

its worse than dating a coworker

coveting your neighborhoe

futurehell circle 4

with joy/without hate

[AwakenedParticipant 35203]

Jim01 wrote:

but wtf is that all about hugging for an hour?! some people just never learn

I didn’t know what to make of this either. I mean not even in my bluest days !!

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[narwhalParticipant]

I really can’t tell what the hell is going on. Sure she could be using him, but I get the impression that he’s the one who’s instigating things while she’s trying to keep things from going to far. Then again, it could be because she feels sleeping with him will ruin her chances with her ex. Or perhaps, she feels it will complicate her exist strategy.

Regardless, he’s breaking two cardinal rules.
1 – Never involve kids in your dating life.
2 – Stay away from women you can’t get away from. You better be 100% sure you’re dealing with a unicorn.

My advice would be to let him work through this, give him small bits of advice where he might listen, and hope/pray the damage is minimal.

Ok. Then do it.

[HammerheadParticipant 362]

Oh, the joys of being an emotional tampon and Beta bucks provider. And she doesn’t even have to suck him off…

That poor bastard is in for one HELL of a crash.

[Nathan R. JessepParticipant 1102]

narwhal wrote:

I really can’t tell what the hell is going on. Sure she could be using him, but I get the impression that he’s the one who’s instigating things while she’s trying to keep things from going to far. Then again, it could be because she feels sleeping with him will ruin her chances with her ex. Or perhaps, she feels it will complicate her exist strategy.

Regardless, he’s breaking two cardinal rules.
1 – Never involve kids in your dating life.
2 – Stay away from women you can’t get away from. You better be 100% sure you’re dealing with a unicorn.

My advice would be to let him work through this, give him small bits of advice where he might listen, and hope/pray the damage is minimal.

Regarding the bolded, he told her he’s not going to date anyone else even though they aren’t in the relationship. My view is that it’s shady on her part to keep accepting money/gifts when she knows that he wants a relationship and won’t even go on a real date with him.

Ultimately though you’re right – he’s to blame because he’s pursuing her.

[SimpleLifeParticipant 439]

I kind of feel sorry for him because I’ve been there. Been used and mooched off of in a similar fashion. Sounds like he’s just going to have to learn the hard way.

[Author]

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