Girl "has boyfriend": is she still an option?

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

Some girls say that to get rid of you. Some say that to s~~~ test you. Some say that to rid themselves of guilt for screwing you over.

Throw them into the same situation they’re putting you into. Always turn things around on people. “Your boyfriend won’t like that? Neither will my girlfriend”

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[OldBillParticipant]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

I have a topic for discussion: the girl who has a boyfriend.

Is this a PUA site all of a sudden?

Saying she has a boyfriend is a s~~~ test. Nothing more, nothing less.

Acknowledging or otherwise engaging in her s~~~ test is a failure on your part. Nothing more, nothing less.

You can get laid or otherwise enjoy female company without lowering yourself enough to play their games. My sex life and I are proof enough of that.

What you do in these situations is between you and you conscience, if you have one. All that matters is whether or not you’ll respect yourself and your actions the next day, the next years, or the next decade.

Try thinking long term. Try thinking with the head that is above your shoulders. It might just prove to be a pleasant change.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Anonymous 54]

I know its not a pua site but..she mentions boy friend cause she aint attracted to you. Sorry.Think of women as cats.The trick is to get them to want to come to you.Dont ever persue.Play your piano for them.Act moody,tormented and uninterested.Now you didnt hear that from me…

[sidecarParticipant 35862]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

I would approach her as I approach all women: make it clear that I’m available and interested,

Nothing personal, but in my experience that’s the worst way to go about it, boyfriend or not. Pretty much the exact opposite, really.

[Anonymous 2]

I don’t even TALK to girls with boyfriends.

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10924]

Whether she has a boyfriend or not, she is not an option.
Women are too toxic to be involved with.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

OldBill wrote:

You can get laid or otherwise enjoy female company without lowering yourself enough to play their games.

Wasn’t planning on playing their games one way or the other. But, as Keymaster, said, though playing games is wrong, THE GAME can be fun.

I was asking “has boyfriend: is THE GAME still worth it?”

Anonymous wrote:

Play your piano for them.

The day I find a girl who can, will, and wants to appreciate something like that is the day I fall hopelessly, terribly, and passionately in love.

sidecar wrote:

Nothing personal, but in my experience that’s the worst way to go about it, boyfriend or not.

Define “worst.” You mean the way that is less likely to get results?

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[narwhalParticipant]

It depends on if you know why she says she has a boyfriend.

If you know she is lying and playing hard to get, then decide if you want to bother with the game playing or not. Me personally, I doubt I would, and I would probably call her out on her bluff.

If you know she is lying and is trying to get you away, then I would not pursue. I’d do an evaluation and either determine that I was stupid for coming on to her like that, or I’d call her out for the deception and instead of just telling me she wasn’t interested. (Aside, being that pretend boyfriend she’s using to keep others away can be fun. It puts you in a position where you have to show dominance or ‘ownership’ of her…which really turns her on)

If you know she’s telling the truth, I wouldn’t be hitting on her. I’d then call her out for assuming I was hitting on her.

If you don’t know, I assume she’s telling the truth and move on.

As far as the ethics of getting with someone who’s made a commitment to someone else, I wouldn’t touch it. If she’s not happy with her BF, then deal with it then come back to me. I don’t want to be a reasons for anyone’s happiness, whether it be a stranger or a good friend. Really, that goes with flirting as well. I don’t want to do anything with a woman that I wouldn’t do in front of their significant other. There’s a woman at work who acts that way. She’ll put an arm on my shoulder or something like that. I simply step away as I know her husband would not be comfortable with that.

Now, to be clear, that doesn’t mean I have no interest in women that are in a relationship. I simply would put it aside and reconsider if she is ever single again.

Ok. Then do it.

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

If I’m interested in getting with a woman, I treat her like she’s available to me until it becomes crystal clear that she is not. This can mean a lot of different things depending on the situation, but the bottom line is its about being confident and cutting through bulls~~~.

And this isn’t just for dating, it’s for pretty much anything. Within reason, I assume nothing is beyond my grasp until I come upon a boundary I know I can not cross. The trick is to be aware of yourself, know your limitations and learn to not be thrown by every little bump in the road.

You’ll never get what you want if you don’t try for it and you won’t try for things if you don’t believe you can get them. You’ll also get brutally reality-checked if you try to do things that are clearly beyond your abilities… find the balance between want, will and can and you’ll get pretty much everything you set your sights on.

[narwhalParticipant]

@doc, I see what your getting at and don’t disagree. What catches me though, is determining whether someone (or something I see) is really something that I want or not. I’ve always been the type to approach cautiously and figure out exactly what it is I see, and yes, sometimes that means opportunities pass me be.

And yes, it’s also a good way to avoid failure…which is not necessarily a good thing.

Ok. Then do it.

[The Laughing ManParticipant 1020]

Stargazer wrote:

..And this isn’t just for dating, it’s for pretty much anything. Within reason, I assume nothing is beyond my grasp until I come upon a boundary I know I can not cross. The trick is to be aware of yourself, know your limitations and learn to not be thrown by every little bump in the road.

This, the most important piece of knowledge one can have is the ability to know what they do not know.

I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes...or should I?

[OldBillParticipant]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

Wasn’t planning on playing their games one way or the other.

You already are playing their game because you’re here asking about whether or not she’s still in “option” if she tells you she has a boyfriend.

But, as Keymaster, said, though playing games is wrong, THE GAME can be fun.

You find out soon enough that even playing the game isn’t worth the fun you can derive from it.

I was asking “has boyfriend: is THE GAME still worth it?”

You already playing their game so you’ve already answered that question. The question now is why you’re wasting our time asking a question you’ve already answered.

Women ask questions they don’t want answered. Men not so much.

The day I find a girl who can, will, and wants to appreciate something like that is the day I fall hopelessly, terribly, and passionately in love.

You really haven’t been paying attention, have you?

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[RockmaninoffParticipant 1641]

OldBill wrote:

You already playing their game so you’ve already answered that question. The question now is why you’re wasting our time asking a question you’ve already answered.

Because, though I already have my own opinion, I’m still interested in others’ opinions because I’m not dogmatic, and am open to having that opinion changed. But more importantly, there’s a lot to learn by listening to others.

There’s a value in discussions to be had by asking questions you already have your own answer to.

". . . elle, suivant l’usage des femmes et des chats qui ne viennent pas quand on les appelle et qui viennent quand on ne les appelle pas, s’arrêta devant moi et m’adressa la parole"—Prosper Mérimée

[CodeBleuParticipant 161]

Personally, I believe getting involved with someone else’s girl is just enabling her hypergamy. We don’t want to make it easier for them to get what they want. Plus it’s just bad business.

[sidecarParticipant 35862]

Rockmaninoff wrote:

Define “worst.” You mean the way that is less likely to get results?

Any results you get that way you don’t really want.

Instead of approaching her and making it clear that you’re available and interested, you’re much better off ignoring her and making it clear you’re unavailable and disinterested.

[Anonymous 11]

It’s an auto-reject situation if you care anything about yourself. There is really nothing to be gained.

Even if you tagged that meat hole, successfully bailed, did not catch an STD, did not fall in love with her(BIG MISTAKE!!), did not get beaten up or killed, you are enabling her.

“Has boyfriend” has multiple meanings in hamster land many of which have been posted prior.

I was once in the middle of boning one wench when she told me she had a boyfriend. She didn’t stop and came back for more.

[Ricardo (Shadow)Participant 12]

I agree when a woman says she has a boyfriend she is clearly stating the open position she has avaliable aka f~~~ buddy since I tend to not step on other men’s toes I would run away from her as fast as I can not because I’m scared of the other man but because that’s just plain wrong I have met tons of people and I clearly see there intention and as soon as they step on my toes there gone I don’t have time for bulls~~~ lastly you have to remember that when it comes to marality woman don’t give a damn about men so she can get you into serious trouble by playing the innocent role if s~~~ hits the fan your call brother.

[Author]

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