I’ve been lurking here for months now, absorbing wisdom and advice and trying to incorporate some of this into my own growth as a red pill man. Until now, I had refrained from actively participating in the forums because my divorce wasn’t finalized and I didn’t want to say anything that could potentially affect my case. However, as the title says — I’m finally free. Nearly a year of separation, negotiations, lawyer and investigator bills, frustration, disappointment, and stress ended after a 20-minute trial in front of a judge. More on that later; first the background:
I am almost embarrassed to share my story, simply because it’s a cliche by now: We both worked early in our marriage, but I was offered a job that was too good to pass up in another state, so we agreed to move. We’d finally be secure enough to have children and she’d get to play stay-at-home mom and housewife. Except, it didn’t work out that way. We never did have any children (I’m indescribably grateful for that now) and I found out that she was secretly using birth control and sabotaging “our” efforts to have a child. She also started complaining about feeling bored, unhappy, resentful, and depressed because her life didn’t “work out how she’d always envisioned it”. Well, sorry, cupcake — but that’s the nature of life. During this time, she joined a gym and began spending a small fortune on new clothing — as well as locking her phone and never letting it out of her sight. I did confront her, and of course she denied that there was anyone else. All of these things (and more) made me suspicious, but I continued working hard and trying to please her, because that’s what a husband is “supposed” to do.
Well, does anyone want to guess what happened next? Sorry, there’s no prize for a correct guess because it’s too obvious: Yep — enter Chad Thunderc~~~: an unemployed “bad boy”, with tattoos on his fingers, hands, arms, and neck, a criminal record, and kids from a previous marriage of his own. (Isn’t it comforting to know that your hard-earned tax dollars go to support such worthy causes?) I was lucky that she moved out to go live with Mr. C~~~, as this benefited me in several ways. Did I mention that she was pregnant with Mr. C~~~’s child within 2 months of moving in with him? That caused me to have to go through some extra legal proceedings to legally exclude me as the father (there’s a presumption of paternity, even if husband and wife are separated).
Early in the negotiations she was uncooperative and she stated that she wanted to get everything she was “legally entitled” to get (despite the fact that she ransacked the house on her way out and took and immediately sold almost ALL of the joint property). However, when she found out that I knew she was expecting, she suddenly became cooperative and we were able to negotiate an agreement. Why is that important? Well, in the state where I live, adultery is an absolute and permanent bar to alimony. They realized that they weren’t getting ANYTHING else from me.
The trial was interesting, fast, and relative unremarkable. The judge found that I had sufficient grounds to prove adultery and granted my divorce; he returned a finding of my non-paternity; and he made the voluntary agreement my ex and I entered an order of the court without modification.
So, I escaped blue pill hell relatively unscathed, except for my wallet, which suffered heavy damage in the form of paying attorneys (three in total, at three different firms) and other professionals. Worth every cent, too.
Meister 2 years, 11 months ago.
