First of all thank you for letting me be a part of your community

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

First of all, I’d like to say good evening to every one of you gentlemen out there and thank you very much for letting me become a part of your community.

Now before I get started with my story, I’d like to mention that I am in desperate need of your help and your opinions as I am left with great pain and suffering, having no idea what to do and whether life is worth it or not.
Recently I’ve just broken out of a relationship with a woman, whom I’ve been with for nearly two years, but before I can get into the details of what has happened and who I am, I have to share my background story for the past couple of years.

Before I found her, I was on a break from all women for three years. This was because I broke off my first relationship with my first ex girlfriend, whom I became unattracted to due to overweight and verbally abusive behaviour. The sex was terrible and I did not feel like a man, being smaller and less muscular than her. I could not be dominant in any kind of way, as she not only was dominant – verbally speaking, but dominant in a physical matter. I left the relationship with no doubt or regrets and proceeded to move on.

During this break, I did not have succes with any woman, doubting my self that I could ever get a woman again – until I met . Having no successes at all, it came as a shock and was pretty mind blowing when I found a girl, who was not only feminim but also attractive. The first time we had sex, I noticed that it was completely different compared to the sex from the first relationship. I felt that I finally met a woman, who was feminime and acted like a princess. I was in wonderland and I felt like I was the king of the world, having finally found someone who I could dominate in both bed, verbally, physically – EVERYTHING! I never were able to give orgasms to women before, but I was getting really good at sex, being able to do all kind of actions there. This meant a lot to me. But this only lasted for one and a half month until the first red flags began. She started becoming very secretive in terms of her activity in real life. This then proceeded towards her phone activity, her facebook activity and then everything in terms of her and what she was doing was being kept secret from me.

I started on developing suspicious behaviour around her, questioning everything she did and what she said was real. I am a person who may have a short temper at times, so I could not keep myself from confronting her about my thoughts. Every time she answered, it felt like she just said something to please me, but I was not satisfied. I had the feeling that there was something going, as I was left with the thought and feeling of not being welcome in her life. I didn’t demand her openness to be in control or commanding – no. I just wanted to become a part of her life and get to know her, her hobbies, interests, friends, ambitions, political views and so on. I was kept in the s~~~ter, man… I didn’t get to know anything from this girl. Everytime I wanted to get to this point, it just turned into sex and then nothing else. At one point, it just turned into her, disappearing for a week without any contact or anything. Not even a single message or note on what she’s doing, where she is at, how she’s doing or anything. I was ignored for a whole week. I noticed that my friend, who has been scouting for her and wanting to flirt with her, has had a synchronized log in activity with her for 3 days straights, and when I confronted her about it, she started on questioning my loyality, my love, my commitment, my interest in her and everything. I was turned into a bad man for wanting her to be open with me and let me know what’s going on.

When it became too much with her secretive behaviour, I became verbally aggressive. This led to break ups upon break ups. Everytime I broke up, I was left with the worst feelings ever, feeling like I would never become a real man again and never get to find a woman, who is this feminime and this lady-like as this one. The time being seperated away from each others, she has developed new relations with other men. Her rooms started smelling like condoms, but when I asked her about it, she wouldn’t talk about it. Just that I am being disillusional. When we were having sex, she kept saying that she was sore and she was tired or not wet enought and she just wanted to cuddle. I suppose this is the part where it led to the cheating part. I was now with a woman, who has cheated on me with multiple men (AT THE SAME TIME, while rebuilding the relationship with me) but at that time I did not get a confirmation on whether it was true. At that time, I was only left with thoughts which would keep me up at night, make me feel very ill, paranoid, mistrusting others and so on.

The first time where she admitted that she was cheating on me with the first man. It took her 48 hours to cheat on me, through Tinder, I was left in tears, pain, suffering and I fell on the floor, crying and screaming ”no”. She didn’t care about me feeling like that, and when I really wanted her back, she demanded that we would rebuild our relationship, while she’s still sexually active with other men, whomever it was, she HAD TO be with other men to not only feel limited and restricted to me. Regardless of this, I accepted it and forgave her, even though I was broken into tears.

The same night when I got home alone, I hyperventilated, puked, cried and had a fever. I was shaking, I was crying and I felt like every inch of my body screamed at me saying ”kill me”. I was in pain. I asked if I could sleep at my grand mum, and I could, but when I tried to sleep, the thoughts of suicide started. The back of my head started to hurt and I could no longer sleep. She drove me to the hospital and I was there for diagnoistics for a whole night, and they couldn’t tell what it was. During this, she didn’t bother asking how I was feeling. She didn’t text me, nothing. It took another 2 days before I heard from her again. Some time goes by, and I get to know that she has been with four other men, but because she had demanded that she could be with other men while rebuilding the relationship with me, it was NOT considered cheating from her part… I was crushed and I really wanted to die at that point.

I felt that the girl whom I’ve always wanted became every other men’s girl and it was no longer special, but I was living in the illusion that she was the one – and I still do.

The last two months we’ve been trying yet AGAIN to be together, but her view on me and my sparetime is this: ”if you spend too much of your sparetime without me, I will go to the clubs and get attention from other men. Of course I should do that – what else should I do? I might as well!”. This really enraged me and led to break up with her. This was 4 weeks ago, and I did not hear from her until last week. She sent flowers to me, with a message that says she has tried to come by my apartment but I was not home and that she has been unsuccessful in reaching me but she loves me very much and hopes I am okay. I called her the same day I recieved the flowers and we talked and agreed on trying again. 12 hours goes by, and I regret that I wanted to start again.

I finally felt like, this is the time to forget her for good and move on because I can’t continue to be treated like garbage and a second-hand man or a safe heaven. 6 days after this decision, I am now sitting in front of my computer, crying and having these moments of weaknesses where I want her back. I just sent her a heart, but I think she blocked me now. I really do not want her back. I don’t want a woman, who continues to sleep with other men. I don’t want a woman, who wants to hurt me with being sexually together with other men, every time she wants to take ‘revenge’ on me. My greatest desire is to become succesful and be desired. I don’t want to settle for THIS calibre of a woman. I feel weak. I feel like sex is something holy and sacred but I don’t know what to do.

I tried to go to a therapist but he fired me. He told me that my problems weren’t serious enougt and I am being pathetic. A freaking professional telling me this has led me to not being able to trust therapists again. He did however let me become a bit wiser in terms of what kind of a person she is. I am also a social counsellor and during this time, I’ve written a journal on the most traumatic experiences I’ve had with her. He states that, based on my notes in the journal, she has border-line, personality disorder. It is known that they use sex – as a tool of power – to gain control over their partners. That’s their weapon.

Anyway, to get back to who I am. I am a person who already have problems with trusting other people, especially women because I’ve been let down by every woman I’ve tried to have a relationship with. Every woman I’ve been with, has led me down, and has had backups upon backups to sexually bounce on if we’ve had some spikes in our relationships. What are your strategies in terms of wanting an ex girlfriend or ex wife back, despite the fact that you’ve been lied to, manipulated with, cheated on and just being completely torn apart mentally speaking? I am afraid of being alone again. I am afraid that it will take years again before I can find a new girl again. I am afraid that I won’t be able to find a girl again, who I can have a sexually dominant relationship with. I am afraid that I am not going to be a man again. Perhaps I don’t even know what it means to be a man. Being a masculine man. Not a fgt (no disrespecting homosexuals – I don’t mind if you’re homosexual or whatever, but that’s none of my business. I am just using the term to illustrate a non-masculine man).

I hope that you can bare with me for this very long and probably very confusing story and I am sorry for not giving you everything in details and in a 100 % exact chronological order but I’ve tried my best.
Again, thank you every one for letting me become a part of this community and thank you for letting me share this story.
– enablr/seeker

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

From time to time, I still cry a lot. I think back on our good times which leads me to always wanting to rebuild the relationship with her, but when I finally get to be with her, it is just not the same. I have a tendency to play very depressive music to empower the feeling of crying. I am left with the feeling of ‘JUST NEED TO’ cry and be miserable and feeling pain and suffering. I feel like it’s good to have it out but sometimes my body won’t let me. It used to do so, but sometimes I feel like I have to force it out. I am not sure if I am handling this the right way, which is also something I’d like to ask you about. Because I am not always reacting with tears – is it my body and mind, who is finally accepting that it is over?

I’ve tried to get over her through Tinder but I am not having the same ‘succes’ as she is having. She found all her men through Tinder, and she has tried to attack me mentally by telling them how big their D’s are and that I should be happy and satisfied with my self that I do not have a big D. Mine is average size but she just had to mention it that she has tried all kinds of new stuff with them to get to me. To see if she could get a reaction. I just feel like throwing up when I think back of it. The fact that I’ve accepted this kind of information, and still have kissed her – wondering how many D’s she has blown while we were on hold. I tried to find a girl, who I could build a relationship with and we were together for three months, and she told me that being with one girl and building a new relationship with her, is WORSE than her being with five different men. How the hell is that even making sense?

I consider sex and a person’s body to be sacred and something valueable – you just don’t give it to everyone else. If she gives it to five different men, while rebuilding a relationship with me, then how the hell can I consider her body to be valueable and sacred? How can I be proud of having a woman like that? am I wrong to think like that?

[Anonymous 43]

Amigo, can you break it up into paragraphs, and take out the real names
then we are happy to welcome you

[Heave-Ho MgtowParticipant 1797]

Enablr.

I tried hard to follow your intro. Breaking up into paragraphs would help. Dump the thought of that cheating c~~~. Swallow an overdose size quantity of red pills and get your head out of your ass. Get over it.

I would suggest getting into the top gun forum and reading the massive amount of info here. You have much to learn.

And oh yea, welcome

skip the cavernous vag and go your own way

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

Yes, I will. I am sorry, gentlemen. Give me a few seconds.

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

Done. Hope it’s better now… I’ll see if I can change the format again while you’re giving it a 2nd attempt.
Thank you again for being so patient with me!

[Anonymous 7]

Meek Mill wrote:

What are your strategies in terms of wanting an ex girlfriend or ex wife back, despite the fact that you’ve been lied to, manipulated with, cheated on and just being completely torn apart mentally speaking?

None. 1 chance per person per lifetime. Learned that here.

I’m guessing you are fairly young? It will pass.

In the mean time go into the introduction section and take some red pills. Pay real close attention to May 7 2020, Uly and Gargamel intros.

Red Pill rage will get rid of your sads pretty darn quick.

[Anonymous 7]

Oh, and welcome.

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

@Grue
I don’t know. I am turning 26 in a few months and I feel like half of my life is already gone through. I don’t believe I’ll turn into an old man. My mindset is completely down the s~~~ter…
In terms of experiences with women, I don’t really have a lot of experiences with women. I’ve had three relationships. No one night stands. I’ve had a lot of sexual experiences as being in a relationship grants that opportunity, but in terms of their mindset… I don’t get them nor understand them. I live in Denmark and the culture and mindset here is to F as many women as possible – and for women, to F as many men as possible. I just can’t understand this mindset. I am not originally from Denmark, my parents migrated here during the 1970s war, which means that I do have some cultural differences, but I am born and raised here, who speak Danish natively and naturally, and I just don’t understand the culture here. It is okay for them to cheat and F everyone despite being in relationships. I DON’T GET IT.
But how do you handle feelings and thoughts, and even the self discipline to say to yourself: “I am only going to give this woman ONE chance. If she f~~~s it up, too bad for her”. How do you handle the feelings of sexual temptation? I’ve FOUGHT A LOT with these thoughts of going back to her because of the sex. I felt like, because she has created this feeling and thought of the sex, being so good with only her, this has been the biggest difficulty in terms of letting her go. I have even deconstructed it to the smallest parts, where her moans actually means something to me, and I am not sure if I am actually being a psychopath or what not. It’s just that this is something that I’ve not experienced with the two ex girlfriends I’ve had before her… Every bit of the sex thing is just something unique that I’ve not had before, and given the age that I am in… I am left with the feeling that I’d ever find someone like her again. I have no friends anymore. I am not very good at socializing. In a small town like this, everyone knows everyone and many of these people, who used to be my friends, have managed to destroy my reputation. I am a very principled man and disciplined when it comes to my work and my family values, but I am left with no self worth and no self respect. I really want to learn from you guys… How do I gain it back? The self respect… The self worth… A new identity… Should I move town? I am left with these questions all the time…

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Meek Mill wrote:

What are your strategies in terms of wanting an ex girlfriend or ex wife back, despite the fact that you’ve been lied to, manipulated with, cheated on and just being completely torn apart mentally speaking? I am afraid of being alone again. I am afraid that it will take years again before I can find a new girl again. I am afraid that I won’t be able to find a girl again, who I can have a sexually dominant relationship with. I am afraid that I am not going to be a man again. Perhaps I don’t even know what it means to be a man. Being a masculine man.

Um..Welcome…I dont know if you get the idea of what MGTOW is…If interested, keep reading here and taking red pills…I dont know if you wanted to take this journey because it will turn your life upside down…Try looking at PUA sites, MRA sites and compare it with MGTOW because its a very concept. See which fits your mind set because you might get devoured here with your need to be validated by females…

Good luck on your journey amigo and try to separate paragraphs…Its difficult to read with a wall of texts…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

And you changed your name to girlseeker? You are lost brother…Or you might be a butch…Sorry for your pain but you have better luck in PUA sites or MRA sites…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

@nerdtunneler
I am here to learn what it is and to change. I don’t want to be validated by women anymore. I want to change myself and become indepedent. I’ll change it back. Sorry. I have no F-king idea what I am doing. I am just left with so many freaking thoughts and emotions. I feel lost. I feel broken and I feel like my mind has been corrupted and destroyed. I have no idea what to do.
In terms of the name, ‘Enablr’ is my gamer tag – Should I worry that I would be recognized by others? Are you guys anonymous in terms of being a part of this community? I have so many questions for this community. I was led here after watching Dr. Jordan Peterson talking about MGTOW and I absolutely loved the idea that it is a movement against abusive and toxic women, who have destroyed men in their relationships and marriages.

[Anonymous 42]

Meek Mill wrote:

I am a person who already have problems with trusting other people, especially women because I’ve been let down by every woman I’ve tried to have a relationship with.

Lemme guess, let down, every woman, every time, no exceptions?

WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

F~~~ THEM!

TIME IS NOW ON YOUR SIDE!

IT ONLY GETS PERPETUALLY BETTER AND BETTER THE LONGER YOU ISOLATE YOURSELF FROM THEM!

You’re fresh wounds now, but after the healing and after the helping yourself back on your feet everything will be right as rain on dry ground!

The weather’s gonna get allot better!

[Anonymous 7]

NerdTunneler wrote:

Sorry for your pain but you have better luck in PUA sites or MRA sites…

I think nerd tunneler has given you perhaps the best advice. It doesn’t sound like you are ready to shed the Matrix just yet.

Meek Mill wrote:

It is okay for them to cheat and F everyone despite being in relationships. I DON’T GET IT.

You haven’t spent much time lurking here have you?
AWALT = All Woman Are Like That
Europe, Asia The Americas, Australia it doesn’t matter, female nature is the same everywhere.

Meek Mill wrote:

How do I gain it back? The self respect…

You certainly don’t get it back with more validation.

Meek Mill wrote:

But how do you handle feelings and thoughts, and even the self discipline to say to yourself: “I am only going to give this woman ONE chance. If she f~~~s it up, too bad for her”.

IDK, I don’t give them any chances.

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

@grue
I want to be ready for it. I don’t want to be an activist in a men’s right organisation. Nor do I want to learn how to pick up more women by learning a few tricks. I want to be independent of it and learn how to let go of all this dependent s~~~-feeling like you. I want to understand what a real man is.

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

@MG-ɹǝʍo┴
Thank you.
And yes. Every time. There’s not one whom have been there for me to support me. I hate to say it, but even my mother has not been able to understand my situation. Nor has she sympathized with me during this dark time I’ve gone through.

I hope that despite the characteristics you guys have seen above, I am still welcome in this community. I want to change and I want to become a part of this community and learn how to become a real man. I want to break out of this social tendency that you NEED to be validated by women in order to be accepted as a man. I want to learn how to develop a mindset that is independent of ANYONE.

[Anonymous 7]

Sniff sniff

idk, maybe.

Sounds more like a young man with the sadz.
I remember when I was his age and a gf banged chad on the side. Kinda like this dude.

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

@grue
How did you handle it? I have no one to go to. No parents. No friends. No siblings.

[Anonymous 43]

Sorry to go grammar nazi on you, I’m an elementary school teacher, but also it makes things easier to read. We are interested in reading what you have to say.

Welcome

[Meek MillParticipant 90]

@may 7 2020
No trouble. I know how it is myself. It’s 3 am here and I am fully aware that the grammar is completely horrible. I just wanted to share my story as soon as possible to get some insight in what to do when being left with absolutely nothing but pain and suffering.
Thank you.

[Author]

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