Finding a context

[ConfuciusParticipant 183]

To live a fulfilling life a man needs to exist in a greater context. I’d like to think of context in terms of a jigsaw puzzle. In this puzzle any man is but a single piece, devoid of meaning on its own without the rest of the pieces to complete the picture. It is my belief that only once we found our context, the puzzle we are a piece of, that we can reach any kind of fulfillment in life. But what happens when we lose our context, and when we can no longer recognize how we fit into the world around us?

Up until this point in my life, I subconsciously thought that my context was that of the mate, spouse, husband, father, etc. I was a piece of the puzzle we identify as the happy family. My life has to a large extent been a search to find the right traditional puzzle where I felt I belonged. I did this with a belief that once I found it, my life would become fulfilled and meaningful. However, since I started taking those red pills I realize that I’ve been looking in the wrong place and need to find a new context in which to exist.

Although I am very comfortable being on my own, I also know myself enough that I need a social context in order to be happy. Right now, however, I’m at loss. Thus, I would like to reach out the rest of this community and ask you if and how you have found new contexts and meanings in your lives since taking your red medication.

P.S. Not sure this is in the right forum. Mods can move it to another one if appropriate.

"Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated."

[Anonymous 12]

Hmm, You ask an interesting and very difficult question.

About two years back, way before i knew the mgtow concept, i told a friend that i was
“a piece of driftwood on a lake”,
“without roots, free to go wherever i wanted, but with no destination i aimed to reach”
“Free but lost”

This might be how you percieve yourself.

I have not found an answer on the large scale (society) and have drastically reduced the context in which i exist.
From “my life is about…”
to
“his year is about” (2017 stands for clearing house, clearing finances, new PC, education).

So, similar to You, i have no greater context, purpose in which to evolve besides making progress for myself.
At the moment i have no need for anything else, and believe that i will see my context, the red line through my years, my greater purpose, in a couple decades when i am an old man with a long grey beard.

Interested to read what others have to say.
thank you for the topic!

[MACHOParticipant]

Confucius wrote:

Thus, I would like to reach out the rest of this community and ask you if and how you have found new contexts and meanings in your lives since taking your red medication.
P.S. Not sure this is in the right forum.

Central should be fine for this topic.

Now about your question.. once I realized that I was best served by being on my own it was at first difficult to imagine a new place where I would find meaning / purpose. Not giving in to depression I simply turned to occupying my time in a productive way. Soon I found myself realizing that small but awesome moments of joy were the best I could expect from living on my own. More and more cultivating my natural talents to fill my days, this summer marks my 11th years studying my third language. Other talents bring also joy and fulfillment but languages are now my favorite path.

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Well I know what you mean.

In my case, I decided to be an observer. I observ the world, I watch people action and entertain my selft with the stupidity of life.

All the meaningless things we all do everyday, all for nothing, family, work, all mean nothing and will be gone in less than 50 years.

I don’t worry about it and live my life like is a video game, just an entertainment, the graphics are awesome, and now the script gets better every day.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[BoarParticipant]

Confucius wrote:

Up until this point in my life, I subconsciously thought that my context was that of the mate, spouse, husband, father, etc. I was a piece of the puzzle we identify as the happy family.

It sounds like you have lost your metric for measuring your values.

You are also in a period of transition. Transition, as opposed to change, can be identified by what you are giving up. You have given up a good part of your identity.

Transition also has three phases: ending, neutral and beginning. The neutral phase, where I believe you are right now, is the most creative and liberating.

Explore, create, enjoy. F~~~ trying to find yourself, focus on figuring on what you value. Once you establish what you truly value, you will find your metric for measuring them. With the new metric comes direction and purpose.

Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Confucius wrote:

Although I am very comfortable being on my own, I also know myself enough that I need a social context in order to be happy. Right now, however, I’m at loss. Thus, I would like to reach out the rest of this community and ask you if and how you have found new contexts and meanings in your lives since taking your red medication.

Absolutely!!

It’s called being Sovereign.

I look at my life and say every day how can I manage and improve this life just a little more. Small tweaks every day. What new places can I go. What new things I can learn. What new activities can I do. Can I save a little more. Join a club. Hike a mountain. Without the blinders of trying to please, attract or validate some woman, it’s endless what lays before you.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Boar wrote:

F~~~ trying to find yourself, focus on figuring on what you value.

Good advice.
Don’t try and find yourself, that’s a moving target. Every year you are different person in some regard. Just do.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[BarnstormerParticipant 190]

I try to focus on my health, eating right and exercising. My financials continual to improve since I took the red pills and chase the pussy less. I enjoy my space and plan to improve my guitar playing and do more home projects, both will help satisfy my need for creativity. Since I discovered the MGTOW philosophy, I do my best to educate and warn young manginas and white knights about the realities of marriage and divorce. But there are plenty of things to do on this planet without women. They only create tension and stress anyway.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

[Cú ChulainnParticipant 3910]

I would hesitate before over thinking it.

There might not be a context, or a satisfactory one. But that could change.

First thing is to get out of the blue pill mindset, then get over the red pill rage ASAP, and begin again.

It might just be a tweak here and there, or a full overhaul, a rebirth.

Letting go can be hard, and not every man can be MGHOW, or be degrees of it.

There’s no right or wrong answers. A big part for me is acceptance of what is. We spend our lives striving and building material things, many here have lost all that through the unfairness of the state and courts.

Letting go and resetting is how I’m doing it. Here’s a quick anecdote – the last few blue pill years I was working 60+ hrs a week and eating and sleeping work, supporting everyone but ME. I never had time to even read a book.

Now I’m alone (not lonely) I read a book every two days. I go out and enjoy sunsets, hike in the hills behind where I live. I grew up 14 miles from here and never had the time to explore my own soil. There’s chambered graves here dating to 2000-3000BC, Christian carvings on rocks dating back to 700AD. History is everywhere, and nature. I’m noticing eagles flying, and I saw my first grey seal in the distant sea. I never could do these things if I was still attached to a woman and grinding away supporting her. Work, sleep, f~~~, argue, shop, go out with dull as f~~~ couples, book holidays, f~~~, buy a new car, work, worry about the future, save money, spend money, round and round on a f~~~ing big treadmill of life, with a hundredweight of pressure on my back.

I am finally free, once I got over the oddness of doing things by myself, I actually found other people just GET IN THE WAY of the things I like doing.

Is that a context? Don’t know, have I finally stopped worrying? F~~~ no. But now I have more agency in what happens in my life. And I know more things through reading, and going out the damn door and exploring, than I did when I was shacked up like every other mug.

Materially I’m dirt poor, but spiritually I’m as rich as I’ve ever dreamed.

[OldBillParticipant]

Cú Chulainn wrote:

Is that a context?

It most certainly is a context. It’s a context which you’ve created and continue to work on. That last bit is important too.

Like the “meaning of life”, a social context is what the human in question decides it to be. You give your life meaning. You then create the context, the framework, for your life.

Because the only constant in life is change, your meaning and context should constantly change too.

Life is like sitting in on a free jazz jam session. You’re there to play your own instrument in your own fashion while also responding to the efforts of the musicians around you.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Sky-OParticipant 18934]

SKYDIVE

‘If you want the ultimate. You need to be willing to pay the ultimate price’ Bodhi

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Good question.

When you find yourself feeling like a product of your environment, consider switching it up so your environment is a product of you.

“Finding a context” is looking to fit into a pre-existing puzzle (the analogy you used) or a pre-defined and specific role. And aren’t women always trying fit us “square pegs” into their round holes? They even think their husbands need to be “trained” like Shamu the killer whale.

Here’s what one man has to say about that – using the same analogy.

Confucius wrote:

It is my belief that only once we found our context, the puzzle we are a piece of, that we can reach any kind of fulfillment in life.

On the concept of “finding” oneself . . . you will often hear women speaking about a need to “find themselves”. “Eat, Pray, Love” and all of that. They think love is something they “find” and that it should “come” to them. Even Celine Dion sings “love comes to those who believe it”.

This is very revealing to me. It’s as if women are empty vessels – or like water which takes the shape of the container it is in.

But MEN create themselves.

As a small example, you don’t even need to wait for “love” to come to you, because that’s not how it works. It’s not what you GET. It’s what you GIVE. The things & people you love the most are the those you give the most to – even when when it doesn’t come back to you.

You can love your work, your car, your SELF, your free time, your friends, and whatever else. Even a perfect stranger . Just make sure you receive the lion’s share. You don’t even need anyone else’s permission for that. And you certainly don’t need to “find” it – or wait for it to “come” to you.

So when you find yourself feeling like a product of your environment, make your environment a product of you. Then you’re CREATING the context in which you belong, and you don’t feel pressure or obligation to “find” it anymore.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

Great posts guys I would like to further add don’t look at yourself as a puzzle to be put into a specific place but instead view your life as a painting. You were given a blank canvas when you were born and your life choices and decisions are the color that give your painting life and you are the one in control of how your painting will turn out when you die. So find the things in life that make YOU happy without having to compromise your values and what you believe in and you will be able to paint something beautiful for you.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Cú Chulainn wrote:

Now I’m alone (not lonely) I read a book every two days. I go out and enjoy sunsets, hike in the hills behind where I live. I grew up 14 miles from here and never had the time to explore my own soil. There’s chambered graves here dating to 2000-3000BC, Christian carvings on rocks dating back to 700AD. History is everywhere, and nature.

Ireland, huh? Nice! I didn’t get to visit Newgrange when I was there, unfortunately.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

The universe is purposeless, which means you have to create your own purpose. Defining yourself as person in terms of how you relate to other people is pointless. Father, son, husband, bricklayer, programmer are just job descriptions, not who you are.

Who I am?

I’m alive and everything else is negotiable.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Anonymous 12]

Rhino wrote:

Great posts guys I would like to further add don’t look at yourself as a puzzle to be put into a specific place but instead view your life as a painting. You were given a blank canvas when you were born and your life choices and decisions are the color that give your painting life and you are the one in control of how your painting will turn out when you die. So find the things in life that make YOU happy without having to compromise your values and what you believe in and you will be able to paint something beautiful for you.

Good, very good!
And when you are old, you will..

… yes you WILL…

sigh, sit, and look at the painting you created.
and it will be a total mindf~~~.

Just make sure you live long enough to leave no spot of that canvas uncovered, k?

[Cú ChulainnParticipant 3910]

Ranger One wrote:

Cu Chulainn wrote:

Now I’m alone (not lonely) I read a book every two days. I go out and enjoy sunsets, hike in the hills behind where I live. I grew up 14 miles from here and never had the time to explore my own soil. There’s chambered graves here dating to 2000-3000BC, Christian carvings on rocks dating back to 700AD. History is everywhere, and nature.

Ireland, huh? Nice! I didn’t get to visit Newgrange when I was there, unfortunately.

Ranger One wrote:

Cu Chulainn wrote:

Now I’m alone (not lonely) I read a book every two days. I go out and enjoy sunsets, hike in the hills behind where I live. I grew up 14 miles from here and never had the time to explore my own soil. There’s chambered graves here dating to 2000-3000BC, Christian carvings on rocks dating back to 700AD. History is everywhere, and nature.

Ireland, huh? Nice! I didn’t get to visit Newgrange when I was there, unfortunately.

Ive never seen Newgrange myself, crazy isn’t it? But it’s on the list now I have the time.

I want to visit Clochafarmore first. Its the standing Stone in County Louth where Cu Chulainn was prophesied to die. Mortally wounded and surrounded by his enemies, he tied himself by his entrails around the stone so he could die standing up, still swinging his sword. Its a legend of course, but in a fair fight I would back Cu Chulainn to beat even Achilles.

Ireland is rich in things to do and see, MGTOW heaven.

[ConfuciusParticipant 183]

Thanks for all the insightful comments.

I would like to make a distinction, however, between purpose/meaning in life and context.

With the exception of those who has had a strong religious or spiritual experience, I completely agree that purpose/meaning is something one has to create for oneself. However, one can try to work towards that purpose within different contexts. If one’s goal is of a self centered nature, there need indeed not be any context at all. However, I think that in order to be happy, one must in the end feel that one has somehow contributed to society. It is not so much about finding oneself, as finding how one can make oneself appreciated and useful also to other people.

While this statement may seem to be contrary to some more hard-core MGTOW (leaving the plantation, ghosting), I doubt that very few, towards the end of their lives, will find comfort in the fact that they chose the path of the hermit. A good example of a (social) context is for instance the MGTOW forum itself. Those who have been long time MGTOW are still here giving advice and share their thoughts with us noobs. Putting the time and effort to make this wonderful safe-haven is indeed a selfless act, rewarded by a feeling of belonging, community, and appreciation of others. Note that this has nothing to do with love, women or relations~~~s.

To conclude, my personal MGTOW-goal, is not to completely leave all parts of society, only those parts relating to women and relationss~~~s. Naturally a large part of society is built around these structures when you start to look deeper, but I think there is ample space to either find, or create, contexts in which one can exist which are not related to traditional monogamy. I will keep looking.

"Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated."

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

Confucius wrote:

While this statement may seem to be contrary to some more hard-core MGTOW (leaving the plantation, ghosting), I doubt that very few, towards the end of their lives, will find comfort in the fact that they chose the path of the hermit.

I will, but then again I was sort of anti-social before I took the red pills regarding women and marriage.

I’d be content to live under a dome on an asteroid, with no other people, having all my needs tended to by an army of robots.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[ConfuciusParticipant 183]

Barnstormer wrote:

I try to focus on my health, eating right and exercising. … I enjoy my space and plan to improve my guitar playing and do more home projects,

Ha, ha. Sounds like a copy of me. I finally got myself a gym-card and started tearing down the walk-in closet in my house to make it into a workshop instead.

Maybe I should take up my guitar playing again as well. Haven’t touched my guitar in 20 yrs, since I abandonded the dreams of my youth to become a musician.

"Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated."

[Author]

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