Feedback requested: My latest train wreck.

[Elric GreenstoneParticipant 1637]

My latest train wreck of a ? relationship ?

I’m not even sure what the f~~~ to call it. We didn’t f~~~, but I was a catalyst in her filing for divorce. It’s possible we may one day f~~~, because all women are crazy. I don’t know. You can’t go home again.

Let’s call her . . . Sunshine. Sunshine was my first serious girlfriend, my first semester at college. At the time, she was liberal, but I was stupid too when I was young. She was slender, with straight dark hair, and was very intelligent. I was smitten. Full of smit, that was me. Her father was and is a professor/communist, and Sunshine wound up being an academic as well. We danced around becoming permanent, but it seemed like either she or I was always in another relationship. In our early 20s, we started dating again, because Sunshine was a not uncunning little bitch who wanted to put pressure on her beta full-time boyfriend to marry her. I felt used at the time, and very much was.

Fast forward to today. We reconnect like a year ago. Sunshine is no longer slender, drinks too much, and is quite the fatass plumptious. Ex-mil, sort of, I discuss ways for her to lose weight. She’s not interested in losing weight, only in complaining about it. She’s still cute . . . to me. Largely because I have until quite recently been suffering from a serious state of melancholy and nostalgia, and wanted to travel back in time and relive my life differently. This is not a fantasy unique to me, of course. Regardless, the idea of reconnecting with a Unicorn bleargh from my past was very attractive, because then I can fix everything that went wrong in my life starting with not winning her when I was seventeen and why are you strapping me down I can fix my whole life if I just go back to when I was younger and redo things no no I’m not on drugs why are you asking could you unstrap me please

*cough* We reconnect at a few of her academic conferences held in Insert City Name Where I Live Here, where she confesses to me that her husband, who we will call Chode, basically was sexual with her for about six months after the marriage. In her twenty+ year marriage, she’s been having sex with Chode for about two or three years of that. She would like to be having sex. Chode does not want to have sex. At least, not with her.

She shows me a picture of Chode. He is in IT, because f~~~ him. He is sort of plaid and stuff, but has the most immaculate beard I have ever seen. On the best day of my life, my hair will never, ever look that good. Ever. The undertaker at my funeral with formaldehyde will not be able to get me to look that good.

That’s because straight men don’t look that good. Chode likes to cook, takes separate vacations from Sunshine and has for quite some time, and “never looks at porn, I don’t think” (hahahahahahahahahahaha). He is very close to their daughters, and his perfect beard picture (oy) has him holding several baguettes. They are both academics, and enjoy discovering restaurants together. They just don’t f~~~, because one of them is a closeted gay man. So they’re basically the perfect liberal couple. They have two wonderful daughters together, the younger of which is slightly difficult and fairly sharp, so they’re going to pump her the f~~~ full of drugs to cut that s~~~ out right quick. Not kidding. Ritalin Express, leaving Track A for F~~~uppedbrainstructuresland!

So Sunshine and I reconnect, and I buy a goddamn (well, cheap) house to be near her. No explicit sexual innuendos take place, but . . . we discuss any number of dates and hanging out that will take place when I relocate to be near her. We discuss Sunshine using her contacts to get me a job at Insert State Name Here University, where she works and has contacts.

And we text text text text text. What the f~~~ is wrong with people that they can’t talk on the phone. Jesus f~~~. Text text text.

So I’ve bought the place near her, because I’m a f~~~ing idiot, and her family still despises me, a lot, because Jew (I think?), and the promised help of finding a job assistance is un-forthcoming. Note that I am quite publicly quite right wing. Our political differences start to come to the fore, and, post-red-pill.

We fight. Often. The election places a wee strain on things. Sunshine thinks Castro is basically nifty, and that socialism is awesome, and Europe should be our future. Being a Yid, I’ve had too many familial experiences with Communism and National Socialism to be a fan of any government, and am worse of all trained as an Austrian economist, so I know how all fiat currencies end. Poorly. Very, very Venezuala-y poorly.

Fight fight fight fight fight. Sunshine has become (always was?) a real bitch. Which is ironic, because she no longer has the body to be a bitch. On the other hand, at Insert State Name Here University, there are lots of prissy academics, so who knows. She files for divorce, because I am her f~~~ing emotional tampon giving her the strength to divorce her gay husband. Huzzah for me, huh? I am basically providing free psychological care. What an awesome hobby. All the drama, and I am receiving neither payment nor tail.

It will be a bloodless divorce, I suppose so Chode can start visiting truck stops openly. The older daughter who is also a narcissist will be fine, the younger will clearly shortly become a drug addict. So that’s awesome. Also, fight, fight. I am accused of white privilege, which I can’t stop laughing at, pointing out that academia despises white people and particularly right-wing white people, and especially right-wing minorities (Jew that I am) that leave the reservation. Fight fight, fight fight. I make a joke about whores, and am told that I am afraid of women. Lots of crazy, red-hair-fat-Canadian-type madness.

We stop talking.

So here’s the interesting red pill parts to this.

a) Basically, zero s~~~s given. We have our last fight all in f~~~ing text because women are f~~~ing lunatics, I’m fairly cognizant that it’s our last fight, and my response is like, huh, well, that’s that. F~~~ me, I now own a crappy house six hours from me. Huh.

b) This is the more interesting one. I absolutely feel like I dodged a goddamn bullet. I am now relieved that I do not have all of this drama and just f~~~ing madness in my goddamn life. This was not going to get any better.

It’s been a weird year.

Had I not found this web zone, I would now be living near Insert State Name Here University, kissing her ass, shutting the f~~~ up about what I actually believe, being a good little beta, and wondering how the f~~~ I got back into this mess. I would be raising the children of a gay guy, with a lovely State middling level career and an unfulfillable pension to not look forward to.

Open to feedback here; kinda looking for it.

"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."

[RoyDalParticipant]

I am a big fan of avoiding old flames. Keep on dodging the proverbial bullet. That’s all I’ve got.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[bladeParticipant]

What a f~~~ing drama . Never go near that s~~~ again will ya .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

Well that was a fun read. Thanks for the laughs and the warnings.

I’m luckier than you are in one regard — all of my old flames are ugly, fat hags. So there’s no possibility of reuniting with ANY of them. But I’m unlucky like you in another regard, and that is my attraction to erudite women, especially scientists. They are my weakness.

Thanks for taking the time to tell your story.

[Greg HondaParticipant 6406]

We view the past wearing rose tinted spectacles.

When I think of the evil Ex I think of the hot kinky sex :-).Then when my mind returns to normal I remember that these steamy sessions were few and far between, and only when it suited her to cuck me further under her control.

Fortunately a re-kindling of our debased and ungodly past adventures is unlikely now as she is a Bull Dyke Lesbian. Who’d have have guessed it eh?

Because we love women we don’t forget and always have a small place in our hearts still open to them. When they drop you they drop you for good. You are dead to them. Thats because they fake love. Most of them don’t even know what the word means.

It's Time to get Wise

[The Batman 2020Participant 2112]

Greg Honda wrote:

we love women we don’t forget and always have a small place in our hearts still open to them. When they drop you they drop you for good. You are dead to them. Thats because they fake love. Most of them don’t even know what the word means.

Tough pill to swallow, but it’s the truth

Your 20's are for learning, your 30's are for earning.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

First: This is well-written, thanks.

Second: Congrats on not being in the way when this loose cannon decided (decides?) to go off. You don’t want to be anywhere near that s~~~ when it does.

Third: Any chance you can nail the daughters when they hit 18 y/o?

[experiencedParticipant]

That’s why they’re called “relations~~~s”.

I’ve added that to my cerebral dictionary.

I have to remind myself, ahead of time, it’s always going to be the same old s~~~. It’s just a matter of time and women have every ordinance at their disposal to make it a one way trip for men, no backing out.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

You are a brilliant f~~~ing writer.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[GrumpyParticipant]

Ex’s are Ex’s for a reason.
Keep it that way, and she’s no longer an issue for you.
Forget why she’s an Ex, and you’ll get to relive it with more drama and bulls~~~.

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Anonymous 5]

It’s great that you seemed to have milked the last of your Blue Pill fantasy with so little financial and emotional damage.
If you’re like me, you would have had the “What If” fantasy about “Sunshine” your whole life. Our brains would go into Disney overdrive when imagining the script of how things should’ve/could’ve been,,hahaha
Thank f~~~ for MGTOW where we learn we dodge a bullet with every woman that got away.

The vast majority of women seem to lose the ability to maintain a NAWALT routine the second time around.
I think this is a big reason why single mothers stay single mothers.
“Sunshine” should have maintained her NAWALT routine and held her c~~~fire till she had you legally owned, or at least far more committed in a live-in relationship.
As it is, she opened fire too early and now the buck has sprung and run,,,haha She would have loved showing off those antlers to her family and the sisterhood.
Congrats, well done.

[AwakenedParticipant 35201]

You wasted a lot of time, energy, and effort. At least you learned a lot in the end, and didn’t end up with child support payments for the education.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[Mr. SpockParticipant 10909]

I enjoyed reading your post. The best way to dodge bullets is to stay away from the guns. Especially when you know where the guns are at. I especially liked the remark about how all fiat currencies end. One could make a similar correlation with relations~~~s and marriage.

Feminism isn't about equality with men, it's about leverage over men.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Elric Greenstone wrote:

F~~~ me, I now own a crappy house six hours from me. Huh.

1. Find a known Meth cook or illegal Mexicans in that location and offer him/them cheap rent. Insure the place for 3X its worth [especially for fire damage].

2. F~~~ her younger/hotter sister/cousin.

3. Live well.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Y_Participant 4591]

Eric

Thanks for sharing. I hope you are better now.

My two cents’ worth.

I am not a shrink by any means but I have an (uneasy) feeling there is something else going on as to why you what you did when you clearly could see the outcome. (The piece is well written by the way – you should take up writing).

There is a lot of ‘double-think’ or trying to justify why you did this or that. Some conflict issues you are not telling here or maybe not aware of(?)
There is a possible darker side in what you are saying and this may have implications

It is very possible you need to get to the root of this episode or you may likely go this way again with someone else – with possibly serious consequences to yourself.

Take care and all the best. Apologies if this response is seen as intrusive – it is written in good faith.

[experiencedParticipant]

Y_ wrote:

Eric

Thanks for sharing. I hope you are better now.

My two cents’ worth.

I am not a shrink by any means but I have an (uneasy) feeling there is something else going on as to why you what you did when you clearly could see the outcome. (The piece is well written by the way – you should take up writing).

There is a lot of ‘double-think’ or trying to justify why you did this or that. Some conflict issues you are not telling here or maybe not aware of(?)
There is a possible darker side in what you are saying and this may have implications

It is very possible you need to get to the root of this episode or you may likely go this way again with someone else – with possibly serious consequences to yourself.

Take care and all the best. Apologies if this response is seen as intrusive – it is written in good faith.

You’ve hit upon something important as we all are susceptible to it.
I’ll call it, “a ray of hope…a ray of hope…a ray of hope…” – to me it’s the last embers still a dull orange beneath the ashes of a life nearly destroyed. The last embers of brainwashing we receive as males from childhood on up.
It would be grand
if only it were true.
Don’t let any c~~~ fan those embers – they are fanning them for themselves only – no matter how alive it makes you feel – parallels: never do meth, not even once.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Sparticus66Participant 508]

Wow. Welcome.
You dodged a massive bullet. She would have ended up doing all that stuff you referred to but you missed one final bit ; she would have ended up dumping you. You can’t support a woman like that and not expect to be despised! She would probably still hold a torch for the gay husband simply because he was not bothered and not chasing her. Remember, when it comes to women, no good deed goes unpunished!

[Anonymous 3]

She’s still cute . . . to me. Largely because I have until quite recently been suffering from a serious state of melancholy and nostalgia, and wanted to travel back in time and relive my life differently.

I know how you feel with that statement as I’ve often thought that if I could turn my younger self into the man I am now, I could of had that unicorn in high school and college. It’s sort of like the one that got away so to speak. There were women I always thought were beautiful in high school but of course, I wasn’t the “cool, bad boy type”. I do take comfort that some of these women now are no longer desirable and have gotten fat (most of them anyways). It’s kind of ironic too because once I learned about bodybuilding and diet, I transformed myself completely and that old me no longer exists. I feel now that those women were never good enough for me and I was a fool to put them on such a high pedestal. I do know how you feel though.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I’m surprised you’re asking for feedback in this because you’ve clearly got it going on. You know the score. Well done.

Dodging a bullet successfully is all the winning you need.

Identifying the WRONG girl in advance is more valuable than meeting a unicorn.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Elric GreenstoneParticipant 1637]

Thank you all, very much, for your responses. I’m having a good think about them all, and will respond individually (on this thread) to many of them shortly. I very much appreciate the effort you all took in writing them. It’s been an awful time, I feel like a fool, and it means a lot to me that you pointed out that I could have been way more foolish had I actually connected with her, married her, became financially vulnerable, etc.

While the possibility of financial and legal ruin had occurred to me in some abstract way, that possibility was more intellectual and abstract than visceral. Red pill or not, I just didn’t want to see the potential downfall here, even after getting completely f~~~ed over.

Your thoughts, wishes, and comments have helped make this a much less painful time.

Thank you.

"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."

[Author]

Posts