Father Wins Custody in Texas (my advice on how to do the same)

[TexasFatherWinsParticipant 37]

I just finished a nasty . . . marriage (I was going to say divorce but the marriage was bad to begin with). I became trapped in my marriage when my son was born. I faced the usual problem, I knew I would lose custody, get to pay for her to live for the next 12 years, etc. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, she was also had a physically and mentally abusive. So . . . I was trapped in hell for seven years.

Okay, enough whining.

The important thing is I used evidence of the real monster to get custody and I wanted to let other men know it can work if you play your cards right. That’s right, if you are in a similar situation, YOU COULD WIN CUSTODY, EVEN IN TEXAS.

The secret to my success was that I manned up and . . . bought a hidden camera. Well, the primary requirement is that the woman initiates violence and that the guy is chivalrous enough to have never hit back.

This innocent looking clock with a hidden camera on Amazon is what I used.
http://amzn.com/B00IX2HC6C

I tell you, now that the trauma of the divorce is over and I have won custody, the best memory I have from my marriage is her face when we surprised her at the custody hearing with the first video which showed her her forcing the door of my bedroom while I was asleep and attacking me. The second and third videos were even worse. Her male attorney who had demonized me the day before was speechless. I had spent the previous day listening to her spin a version of her story which made me sound like the worst rapist-abuser husband ever to grace the Lifetime Movie Network. He had no clue how to recover. When her lawyer was cross examining me, the judge told him to GIVE UP and move on.

This is not why I am posting this story. Anyone who isn’t in the situation I was in is probably thinking “DUH, MORON. OF COURSE YOU VIDEO IT.” It is not that simple when you are living it.

There is a reason it took me six long years of hell before I could convince myself to do something as “underhanded” as video my 110 pound wife attacking me at 220 pounds. I think it was part of my chivalrous upbringing that told me secretly recording anything, let alone my wife, was wrong, regardless of the fact that she was lying to the world and telling them I was abusive (oh yes, the irony was only surpassed by the pain this accusation caused). In fact, I only bought the camera to defend myself if she ever lied to the police. It was only when she tried to accuse me of abuse and RAPE to get custody of our son and even stop me from having visitation that I handed the recordings to my attorney.

Do not let yourself be trapped in an abusive marriage because you are a good guy. Videoing an abusive woman is the ONLY WAY YOU WILL EVER PROVE SHE DID IT. I would have been totally f~~~ed if I had not had those videos.

If you do video, NEVER TELL HER YOU HAVE IT. NEVER NEVER TRY TO USE IT TO GET HER TO IMPROVE. SHE WILL NEVER IMPROVE. She is an abuser just like any wife beating asshole. She might kill you. She might destroy your house to destroy the videos. Just get the videos you need and use them.

Now, you have to make sure the camera in inconspicuous. You only get one shot. If she catches you, your dead.

The video needs to show her initiating violence without you fighting back. Do not restrain her. I had one video with my wife verbally abusing me and then attacking me (including hitting me in the face) while I was laying on my back in my bed which we could not use because I then pinned her down by her wrists to stop her and so I could make an escape. Yeah, stopping her fists was supposedly a bad thing. Self defense is not allowed for men. It sucks but accept it and move on. Anyhow, just block blows to the best of your ability for 5 or 10 minutes then hide until she stops trying to get at you. You will need to record multiple incidents just to make sure the court believes this was not a one off type of fight.

Next, get a GOOD divorce lawyer and get your kids. DO NOT WARN HER YOU ARE GOING TO A DIVORCE LAWYER. Using the videos, the lawyer can get you emergency temporary custody prior to the custody hearing. I failed here because I did not give my lawyer the videos until just before the custody hearing when it was almost too late.

The best advice I have on finding a good divorce lawyer is ask a “fixed fee” divorce lawyer who he would use if he were in your shoes. This is not a guarantee of quality but it is a lot better than going by web advertisements. I also recommend a woman attorney to avoid negative reactions from the court when your attorney questions your soon to be ex wife (ie a male attorney bashing her for her abuse could go badly for you).

Trust me, you will be the happiest man alive when you get custody from that abusive creature (anyone who is abusive, female or male, does not deserve to be called human). Do it for your kids. Trust me, you can be a better nurturer and parent than an abusive woman will ever be.

Men can get custody away from bad mothers. We just have to do the work for ourselves and not expect the justice system to give us equal treatment.

I may edit this later but I wanted to get this up as soon as possible.

Thank you to MGTOW for giving me access to the board so I could post this story.

[GreekDragoonParticipant 460]

Glad to hear that you got your child out of the hands of such a monster.

[HitmanParticipant]

you just made me even PROUDER to be a man !
i’m very happy for you .
i can relate to your story because i lived most of that..
sadly for me, i never taped anything, or things would be very different for me.
i wish you ALL the luck in the world and will say a prayer for your ongoing journey.
CONGRATULATIONS !
you deserve PEACE now that you have done the nearly impossible.
thanks, you made my day with your story !
glad your’e here !

[Wolf redpillmanSpectator 1658]

You got to remember.something here ,texas it’s mostly.a conservative states mostly republicans,but in nj.ny cali.most dads.are f~~~, because thoses are.liberal.states.liberal.judges ect

[Jan SobieskiParticipant 28791]

Thanks for posting. And thanks for being here.

Welcome home brother!

Love is just alimony waiting to happen. Visit mgtow.com.

[Charles BSpectator 251]

Good for you man! It’s great that you’re one of the few men who actually doesn’t get f~~~ed in custody and divorce cases. Which is awesome.

This is why you should NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, MARRY! S~~~ like this happens.

I’m young enough to have found MGTOW before I ever got trapped in that gynocentric hell! I learn from the other stories of other MGTOW such as yours.

Younger MGTOW such as myself, benefit greatly from you guys posting your stories such as this that have already been through that hell.

It’s only a matter of time before younger men will eventually go MGTOW as well!

[Bestieboy666Participant 2358]

That’s a great story and outcome. I’m very happy for you.
Have you approached the police about the domestic violence? At least file a complaint so it shows statistically you were a victim.

Women are so bad, if they changed the law so I kept the house, I still wouldn't marry one. I'd rather be homeless.

[Anonymous 5]

What a terrific little camera!
Night vision, motion activated and most importantly for long term use,,,it loops.

This post is fantastic advice for men trapped in relations~~~s.
Yes, it’s better if you use a female solicitor to badger the female or it could come across as patriarchal abuse.
You’re right, you can only block as best you can when attacked by a woman, to be certain it won’t be misconstrued as excessive force. It’s best to get THE F~~~ away from her as quickly as possible.

****BEST POINT****,,,DON’T TELL HER OR ANYONE ELSE ABOUT SURVEILLANCE, LEGAL HOMEWORK OR INTENTIONS OR ANYTHING ELSE!
The best defense is attack and the best form of attack is surprise.

Congratulations, well done, you deserve your freedom.

[Wolf redpillmanSpectator 1658]

Here.in.nj.unless she`s.on crack a father.won’t get custody no.matter how many videos you show that’s judges that mangina.judges will said how dare you violated that precious flower spaces, i sentences you to.one week.in jail

[RhettParticipant 637]

Great news brother! Welcome home.

Single guys come home, look at what’s in the fridge, and go to bed. Married guys come home, look at what’s in bed, and go to the fridge.......But the best representative of MGTOW is…………… an empty chair,.

[TexasFatherWinsParticipant 37]

Bestieboy666 wrote:

That’s a great story and outcome. I’m very happy for you.
Have you approached the police about the domestic violence? At least file a complaint so it shows statistically you were a victim.

I have not yet filed a formal complaint and my statute of limitations for filing charges runs out in about 6 months. I go back and forth on this. I did not mention that I am a lawyer and my career has been temporarily f~~~ed by the last 4 years (last two years of the marriage getting progressively and two years for the divorce). So here I am, I am finally free of the creature from hell. My career is getting back on track. I know that she will not be convicted because she never broke bones or sent me to the emergency room. If the roles were reversed (ie she were a male doing what she did on the video), she would be convicted of felony assault and probably felony sexual assault (yeah). I have talked to police and prosecutors and we all agree that she is unlikely to be arrested, tried and/or convicted because she is a woman and I am a man. The jury would be unlikely to convict a woman of abusing an athletic man who is 100 pounds heavier. They would say, “why didn’t you just stop her?” My only answer would have been that the police would never have believed me and they would have arrested me instead.

Ignoring all that, my most important consideration is my son. She still gets possession of my son on the first, third and fifth weekends. So, . . . I have custody but she still gets unsupervised weekend visitation because I have not caught her abusing my son yet. As much as I want justice for me, I want my son’s life to be as smooth as possible from here on. Reopening the can of worms by pressing charges just to get satisfaction is not worth putting him in the cross fire. I am watching for any injury to him as it is. I don’t want to be the cause of any more of her crap coming down on him.

He’s too important and has suffered enough as it is.

Also, some measure of justice is gained every time she has to admit to her next guy or girlfriend that she does not have custody. Because the assumption that mothers get custody is so strong, the natural reaction here in Texas is “Damn, you must be a horrible mother and/or person.”

Wolf redpillman wrote:

Here.in.nj.unless she`s.on crack a father.won’t get custody no.matter how many videos you show that’s judges that mangina.judges will said how dare you violated that precious flower spaces, i sentences you to.one week.in jail

I want to respond to this because I don’t want other father’s to get discouraged. Texas is notoriously pro-mother/anti-father when it comes to custody. Some areas of Texas are liberal (Austin) and are somewhat more balanced with stay at home Dads winning custody. Alas, I am not from Austin. My county is old school in its thinking. Moms get custody by default and dads get custody if they can prove beyond doubt mom is bad.

The key is, you have to prove her actions beyond doubt. No one will ask “who is the better parent.” They will ask “why should mom not get custody.”

I had to face facts because MY OWN THINKING is geared this way. My expectation is dad is the breadwinner and mom is primary nurturer and secondary breadwinner. My expectation is that when domestic violence occurs, the woman is more likely to be the victim. The problem is that society has now formed a presumption of guilt for men!!!!

This is why you have to overcome your hesitance and get the evidence you need to change the judge’s mind. I mean pulling hair, scratching, shoving, punching, kicking, and so on. You also need her to talk if possible. The best video I had was one where she was gloating over her legal invincibility as she attacked me.

No matter who the judge is, if you get your evidence lined up, you can win. There are no guarantees in life. All you can do is try your best.

[Frank V.Participant 2445]

Glad to hear the good news.

When she is willing to lie and conspire to frame you, there is nothing dishonorable in recording the facts honestly.

It was seeing this kind of insanity in my teen years that played a huge role in choosing to go my own way.

Welcome

Frank V.

[Maraudrz1Participant 2250]

A ray of light coming out of a black hole. Do not hesitate to include any other facts you may have forgotten and then remembered.

Women's brains and vagina have one thing in common. There is nothing in there until a man puts something in there.

[RoyDalParticipant]

First, congratulations on your perspicacity and strong will.
Second, this is another of the golden threads that should be preserved through the ages!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

I won primary parent status 1 Because i had a good attorney and 2 because she actually was arrested for DV.She got mad at me one night at my mothers house and my mother tried to step between.

My advice is never show any mercy to an ex when it comes to the law.

If she goes to jail for DV o well.If she cant pay child support and goes to jail o well.If she loses her job,house,car,ddrivers license, or what ever else ,its not your responsibility.

Women dont show mercy to men.As far as women are concerned men who need mercy dont deserve it.Kind of like how credit was given out decades ago.You had to show you didnt need credit to get credit.You had to show you didnt need a loan to get a loan.Thats how women(and law) are with empathy and sympathy for men.Expect no mercy from a woman no matter what she says.

My other advice is the first time a woman acts up is to leave the first time shes not watching.Slip out the door and dont look back.Or go to work one day and just dont come back..

My other other advice is never get a woman pregnant and never never live with a woman.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

Congradulations.Stand strong,keep your eyes and ears open.

If you even smell a wiff of your ex abusing your child consider counseling.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

Something else i want to point out.

Women and people weather conservative trad con or liberal feminist both are gynocentric.To both of them Womanness is next to Godlynes.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[TexasFatherWinsParticipant 37]

MgtowWave wrote:

I won primary parent status 1 Because i had a good attorney and 2 because she actually was arrested for DV.She got mad at me one night at my mothers house and my mother tried to step between.

How did you prove the domestic violence? Was she stupid enough to do it in front of non-related witnesses, on camera, or did you wind up with substantial visible injuries when the cops arrived?

MgtowWave wrote:

My advice is never show any mercy to an ex when it comes to the law.

If she goes to jail for DV o well.If she cant pay child support and goes to jail o well.If she loses her job,house,car,ddrivers license, or what ever else ,its not your responsibility.

Agreed. The only concerns you should EVER have is your children and yourself. Remember, SHE WILL TRY TO SEND YOU TO JAIL to save herself. Don’t show mercy or try to work things out because you deserve better, your children deserve better and that abusive creature will NEVER be better.

MgtowWave wrote:

My other advice is the first time a woman acts up is to leave the first time shes not watching.Slip out the door and dont look back.Or go to work one day and just dont come back..

My other other advice is never get a woman pregnant and never never live with a woman.

Agreed. If possible, don’t stick around to get into the position I found myself in. Honestly, I missed some warning signs but, for the most part, the real monster did not come out until six months after my son was born. At first, I blamed stress. I kept hoping she would go back to normal. It took a very long time to realize that this was her normal and that the prior four years was an act.

If you are already in too deep to simply cut things off, GET EVIDENCE. Don’t risk everything on the hope that the court will recognize the truth of your words. Get her on video, record your phone calls, SOMETHING. Also, make sure you record as much as possible. The video has to be you acting normally and not look staged. Do not try to get her to admit to something. Just act normally and let her hang herself.

[narwhalParticipant]

Congratulations! Glad to hear it’s turning out ok for you.

One comment I have is that the fact that she does not have custody of her kids does not mean that other men will stay away from her. Most men are no where near as familiar with the law as you are, even if they have been through divorce and are relatively smart myself. I was fooled myself, to be honest. I had dated a woman who didn’t have custody and she convinced me that her ex had screwed her over, made false accusations, had money and power to gain custody. The truth was that she was mentally ill and would actually cut herself when depressed, thus making her unfit to maintain custody. She actually believed everything that she told me (as your ex probably would as well), and I had no other way to know differently, so it wasn’t that hard to believe.

Also want to know if you’ve heard of, and have an opinion on the Cordell & Cordell law firm, which specializes in family law for men only. They have a big presence in Texas, particularly in Houston where I live.

Ok. Then do it.

[TexasFatherWinsParticipant 37]

narwhal wrote:

Congratulations! Glad to hear it’s turning out ok for you.

One comment I have is that the fact that she does not have custody of her kids does not mean that other men will stay away from her. Most men are no where near as familiar with the law as you are, even if they have been through divorce and are relatively smart myself. I was fooled myself, to be honest.

Well, thanks for ruining it for me asshole.

Just kidding. Yeah, I know that not all guys are going to stay away from her. However, I still get the satisfaction that she has to scrounge around for an excuse rather than being able to say I was a rapist abuser and just be instantly believed.

narwhal wrote:

I had dated a woman who didn’t have custody and she convinced me that her ex had screwed her over, made false accusations, had money and power to gain custody. The truth was that she was mentally ill and would actually cut herself when depressed, thus making her unfit to maintain custody. She actually believed everything that she told me (as your ex probably would as well), and I had no other way to know differently, so it wasn’t that hard to believe.

It’s a little late for this advice for the two of us, but, men need to realize that explanations from women that rely on men being horrible monsters that explain away something that is exceptionally bad for her should be taken with a grain of salt.

In all honesty, some of the warning signs I missed with my creature were explanations like the ones you mentioned (but not about kids).

narwhal wrote:

Also want to know if you’ve heard of, and have an opinion on the Cordell & Cordell law firm, which specializes in family law for men only. They have a big presence in Texas, particularly in Houston where I live.

I can’t really you render a knowledgable opinion of Cordell & Cordell. If I remember correctly, they are the men for men divorce lawyers. The reason I did not approach Cordell & Cordell myself is that I wanted a female attorney because I knew my attorney will be attacking a woman.

One thing to realize about women, and women attorneys in particular, they really hate women that messed up the reputation of women. My attorney was likely a feminist. Because she could see what happened with her own eyes, she developed a hatred that rivaled or surpassed my own. Men forget that women are usually the strongest critics when talking about individual women.

Attorneys vary widely in skill and knowledge, even within a single Law Firm. Some less skilled and less capable attorneys are very good at putting on a front and convincing people that they are the best Advocate that you could have. This is true in all areas of law but I think it’s especially true in divorce law.

That’s why I recommend getting a referral from a divorce lawyer who cannot represent you. Ask more than one. I went for references from a fixed fee divorce attorney because these attorneys don’t go to court and cannot represent you in an actual legal battle. As such, they won’t try to sell themselves to you and are more likely to give a good referral based on actual knowledge of how other divorce lawyers in your area perform in court. Remember, the lawyer you choose will decide your future. Don’t leave it up to advertisements or how well they sell themselves.

Sorry for any typos, I am dictating this to my smart phone.

[Author]

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