Existential Crisis

[Anonymous 1]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Have any of you been through an existential crisis after taking the red pill or what Thinking-Ape mentions as the post-red pill malaise? I am suffering from so much depression and anxiety and would appreciate any help you brothers can share.

Yes, I think everyone probably has. I started down the red pill at a very early age. I felt like I was living in solitary confinement. I was practically a prisoner in my own bedroom. What helped me was reading about all the great men who came before. I got a lot of inspiration from Nikola Tesla and Oliver Heaviside. Get some biographies and you realize that intelligent men have always been lonely and wrestled with this existential crisis. Tesla was going to kill himself when he was 30 years old after life had totally screwed him over. He bounced back and invented the AC Induction Motor. After J.P. Morgan ruined his Wardenclyffe Power Tower (Wireless Power Station) he became a recluse living in all but solitary confinement. I’m sure he was depressed as hell, but he endured if only for the sake of unravelling the mysteries of nature. Continue your passion and remember that you are living in a magical world filled with strange energies and invisible forces. Remember, you are never alone and never have been.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Heavicidal,

Yes. Nikola Tesla is a man I really look up to, considering my passion in electrical/electronics engineering. Since your avatar is of Oliver Heaviside, I shall share my website that I am working on with you (www.microcontrollertutorial.com). I am about to revamp the whole site with new tutorials and content. I enjoy learning and sharing knowledge, whatever little knowledge I have. It is an artwork to me. Thank you.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Anonymous 1]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Yes. Nikola Tesla is a man I really look up to, considering my passion in electrical/electronics engineering. Since your avatar is of Oliver Heaviside, I shall share my website that I am working on with you (www.microcontrollertutorial.com). I am about to revamp the whole site with new tutorials and content. I enjoy learning and sharing knowledge, whatever little knowledge I have. It is an artwork to me. Thank you.

Very cool website, I work with PIC all the time. I have not gotten around to Arduino, but people tell me it’s great for beginners. I used to post PIC tutorials on the Microchip forum quite a bit. I will have to share my synthesizer project with you when its done. I read you mission statement. I also was very disappointed in the EE program I attended. They really tried to take the fun and excitement out of everything.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Heavicidal,

That’s awesome mate. I am honoured to share your ideas and give you credit on my website. I am eager to learn more. I am aware that the educational system is designed in such a way to remove creativity and replace it with conformity. An Arduino is just a microcontroller on training wheels. It is super easy to use. Setting it up is almost plug and play, after installing the Arduino IDE. It has its own programming tool built into the board so you don’t need an external burning tool like ICD for PICs. Plus the programming is super easy. No need to setup fuses/bits. Overall it is good for quick testing and analysis but I wouldn’t use it for a serious project. Such a thrilling end to a dark day. Two brothers, one passion.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[FreedomParticipant 295]

Mike,

You must take time to do focused relaxation. Where you spend a good half hour not engaged in a distraction, and just breathing and relaxing and letting your emotions (however unpleasant, however nonsensical, or however absent) be fully felt. It is a well-known and widely prescribed therapeutic technique that helps people recover from depression (and many other issues). The stress you face will distort your perspective and deplete your serotonin; you need a practice like this to defend yourself against that.

On the one hand, your parents probably want grand kids, and also they are probably so invested in the mindset of the world in which they grew up that they can’t adapt to the realities of the modern world. These issues are THEIRS, not yours.
On the other hand, they probably want you in their lives, regardless. It gives you quite a lot of negotiating leverage. If they continue to pressure YOU to meet THEIR needs, you can move some distance away, and their behavior will change.

I found the book “existentialism for dummies” to be very entertaining and helpful.

It is wise to fear dangerous commitments.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Freedom,

Thank-you my MGTOW brother. I shall engage in breathing for at least 30 mins per day and be one with my thoughts/emotions. As with what you say about my parents wanting grand kids, even though they don’t talk about it, makes a lot of sense as well. That deep disappointment in them perhaps. From what I notice, it is mainly the cold shoulder that my father is giving me which hurts a lot. The silent treatment and no encouragement. I need to break away from this dependency for validation from him. I will also look at the book you recommend.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[Anonymous 1]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

That’s awesome mate. I am honoured to share your ideas and give you credit on my website. I am eager to learn more. I am aware that the educational system is designed in such a way to remove creativity and replace it with conformity. An Arduino is just a microcontroller on training wheels. It is super easy to use. Setting it up is almost plug and play, after installing the Arduino IDE. It has its own programming tool built into the board so you don’t need an external burning tool like ICD for PICs. Plus the programming is super easy. No need to setup fuses/bits. Overall it is good for quick testing and analysis but I wouldn’t use it for a serious project. Such a thrilling end to a dark day. Two brothers, one passion.

I’m glad to have found you and your website. I’m rather frustrated being an EE at the moment. Too many software projects at work dealing with HMI and servo motors, ethernet and profibus. I’ve been having a hard time staying positive. It’s a crazy industry and things change at such a fast pace, I feel like a hamster in a wheel trying to keep up with it all. What I really enjoy is tinkering around with analog circuits more than the digital stuff. Most of the time I get failed motor controllers back from customers. The MOV will be blown and I can easily fix it, but my boss will say, just throw it out and send them a new one. Everything has become so disposable, I never to get fix anything anymore. That’s why I’m planning on doing some tutorial videos on building your own analog synthesizer. I will keep you posted, when I finally finish it. Cheers! 🙂

[Jack HarperParticipant 2863]

To quickly dovetail off of what Freedom said; I’d also recommend yoga. I’ve been doing it for the last several months and I find it beneficial. It’s meditative, focus on breathing, stretching and building strength. Something my doctors and persoanal trainers recommended for me and I believe it is beneficial.

But this thread strongly resonates with me. As someone predisposed to clinical depression with a family history of it; I was hit especially hard after my divorce. I hit rock bottom and I’m crawling back up. It’s been a long exhausting journey. One step at a time; one day at a time (as my dad used to say) one foot in front of the other. Focus on getting the little things done and big things will follow.

I know what it is to despair. To isolate. To feel alone. I still find myself doing it and I’ve always been something of a loner. I would love to have male friends my own age but I’m not sure how to meet them in the area. Gets harder as we get older.

But like many when I was younger I thought finding a woman would ‘normalize’ me. make things better. instead my two major relationships with women have been emotionally devastating where they both cheated and both treated me like dog s~~~. I was well on my way to red pill thought (as many men are) before even finding the term MGTOW. As I’ve stated before it is painful to come to accept the true nature of women. And I do find myself sometimes (part of me anyway) longing for that kind of unconditional love relationship society promised us. But I now know it’s a mirage. An illusion. Smoke & mirrors to amuse the masses and keep the great wheels of society moving on the backs of good men.

Now my focus is on starting over. Back in school. Studying for a new career. Improving my body and my mind. Traveling. Learning. The same general path as many MGTOW. With the ultimate goal of finding peace and contentment. But it’s certainly not an easy road and can be a lonely one.

I believe for now we must protect our real identities but I do hope one day there will be a way for MGTOW men to meet up as DYD and Greg Honda did recently. To meet kindred spirits. That would be good.

Also something that resonated with me always in the back of my mind. A doctor I used to see was fond of saying “Life is each person’s journey alone.”

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Heavicidal,

I understand where you are coming from bro. The first day on the job is all exciting and after a while it become the most repetitive soul sucking ground-hog day like scenario. This is the reason why I quit the mining industry. It reminded me of one of Sandman’s videos (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHf1oJoIntQ) where he explains what we do will come and pass and we have to find something new. I have thought about this many times and it is scary to think that something we are so passionate about, all of a sudden comes to an end. I am going to try engaging in multiple different activities in my life to keep a balance. Right now, as you probably can see by now, my life is severely imbalanced and I am dangerously relying on my one and only lifeline in electronics. I guess having different and motivational things to do will sustain a balance.

Exactly what you say, these days it is just “throw it out”. Anyone can throw something out, but it takes a whole new level of appreciation towards even the most simplest of systems in electromechanical engineering. Speaking about synthesizers, it reminded me of the awesome intro theme for Stranger Things. Perhaps when you accomplish your synthesizer, you can earn to play the Stranger Things theme so people who want to replicate your design can play it with ease. Or perhaps…..you can make an automated lighting effect to highlight each key in sequence to teach newbies. That is what I love, and perhaps you too, about electronics. There are infinite possibilities and at the end of the day, only costing a pocketful of change.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Jack Harper,

Thanks brother for replying to me in this dark time. I sympathise what you have gone through with your divorce. I never have been married so I have no idea how emotionally and financially damaging it is. Watching divorced men on YouTube speaking about their pains, especially that documentary “Divorce Corp”, makes my chest hurt. I am lucky to avoid that scenario. This is why I have so much respect for men like you who open up and share their pain with others and help others to be aware of the issues.

You know what my brother. I don’t care if you are 30/40/50/60 or even 100 years old. The human mind is meant to be fed and nurtured new information and keep on experiencing and learning. Most people just give up when things get hard. You have the guts to go through not one but two messy relationships and come out the other side, come on this forum and help me in my darkest time, you definitely are heading towards an exciting and new beginning. I can pretty much say the same thing about all of us, we all have to start over.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[BushidoParticipant 637]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

Have any of you been through an existential crisis after taking the red pill or what Thinking-Ape mentions as the post-red pill malaise?

It’s hard to deal with the concept of mortality. The mind simply isn’t capable of understanding the concept of being Nothing when it has always been Something. This is natural; for living beings it is nigh impossible to conceptualize such a paradox.

Avoiding the depths of the rabbit hole, I have also experienced my own existential crises. You had your world shaken up, it’s normal to be off-kilter for some time. Try to spend some time seeking self-improvement in some way and giving yourself a reason to enjoy what you have now and inspire yourself to keep getting better.

Your thoughts will eventually subside and will leave you a better person than you were before.

Logic guides your actions, emotion guides your morals. Only you may decide how you use them.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

Bushido,

You make complete sense. It is a paradox that will never end. Question after question. Cheers man.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[QuellParticipant 2538]

Hey Mike,

First off what you are feeling is pretty normal. I believe most of the people, if not all, have felt what you are feeling currently: despondency. Know that it won’t last forever and that we all go through periods (months or years even) where things just plain suck. It will swing back around, I guarantee it.

I too have suffered depression for years on end. I kept it to myself all bottled up when my life fell apart. That was the worst thing I could have done for myself.

There are three pieces of advice I’m going to give you:

1. Nobody cares about you or what you do. You are not in competition with anyone else on this journey called life. You are sad because you are not “winning” at life right now compared to those in your peer group. Doesn’t matter. There are no blue ribbons at this end of this journey. You have built it up in your own head that you are not as good as everyone else.

2. Take action of some sort. Sounds like you are on the right path with your electronic engineering pursuits. That is good! You have found your passion and are following it. I guarantee it will bring you much joy later in your life if you stay the course. The hardest thing you will deal with is not quitting the pathway. Between right now (living with your parents) and a successful career where you are fulfilled all you have to do is make 1 good decision per day. It can be something small as doing your homework, getting an A on your test or learning a new technique in your field. Between right now and your end goal there are probably 10000 small individual decisions you have to make to accomplish your mission. Doing your homework vs. not doing your homework. Skipping class vs. going. It really is that easy. Just stay the course and DON’T TRY and accomplish those 10000 steps all at once. That is mental and physical suicide. At the end of every day I think back, if I did just one good thing that day it is a win.

3. Let go. Let go of people, your past or anything part of your past that is weighing you down. If you have to really force relationships with people; let go of them. It is only causing you stress. Only allow people in to your life who want to be there. You must accept the here and now and be OKAY with that. Know that acceptance of yourself and your situation takes time. Don’t ever hate yourself for any reason.

I would also suggest getting a part time job. Something easy, that you enjoy and won’t stress you out. Maybe working at a local electronics repair shop part time might be beneficial to your mental well being. You would also get a chance to interact with customers and people which will help build your self worth and confidence talking with strangers. If you can swing it, move out of your parents house and find a small apartment with a roommate.

I’m no guru but I’ve found these things work for me. Let me know if you have any questions. We are all here to help each other on our individual pathways in life.

[Shadow1275Participant 1178]

Hey Mike welcome back,

I always sort of knew that marriage and relations~~~s were rigged against us back when I was blue pill. My first two relationships however were pretty good. They both lasted less than six months. It wasn’t until my third girl that I learned my lesson. She was a freshman in college and wanted to try the hook up game. I warned her not to but she did it anyways. The first guy she did it with she got attached to and he dumped her within a week. She ended up at the door to my dorm crying, mascara running, hair frazzled everywhere, etc. Idk why I did it but I took her in, slowly built her back up again, helped her with her studies, and within a month I had her smiling and happy again. And she told me she loved me.

Then about 3 months later she cheated on me, lied about cheating on me, etc.

I was furious. More angry than I ever had been in my life. I remember looking at the lying text she sent me and just staring at it for hours. I was so angry I couldn’t even move, because I felt like if I did I would kill her. I just kept breathing hard in and out like I was a heat furnace or something. Then when we broke up she dropped an even larger bomb, “I never loved you at all.”

The anger was absolutely maddening. It was like I was ground zero of an atomic bomb, like I was the bomb. And then my focus shifted from the small picture to the big picture. If love really exists then how could someone throw it out so carelessly? If love is really as strong as society claims than why would someone toss it aside like it is trash?

And at that point I realized that it’s bullcrap. Your “value” to a woman is simply what you can provide to them at that moment. You are a number, a statistic, a “Value”. If another man comes along who is a higher “Value” than you than she will no longer “Love” you. You are then nothing to her, trash, garbage.

In other words this fantasy that someone will match your love and sacrifice is bulls~~~. You are useful until you can’t do the job anymore or until she finds someone “Better”

And this revelation HURT hard. It also took a while for me to come to that conclusion because I really didn’t want to admit that. I thought that If I acted really alpha and dominant that would be the glue that worked. I was wrong. I was always angry and it was like POISON.

But… I also realized that just bc I had no value doesn’t mean it had to stay that way. I could improve myself, NOT for the sake of any WOMAN, BUT FOR MYSELF. I had gained a good amount of weight after that harlot, I loved chips and french fries. I used to eat a full large bag of chips everyday, sometimes family size.

NOW I Measure ALL of my calories AND I CUT THAT S~~~ RIGHT OUT. All I eat is healthy whole foods now, I workout like crazy 6 times a week. I’ve trimmed out big time without any loose skin and am looking to bulk soon. I WILL NOT STOP until I look like SUPERMAN.

I am already making plans in the future to eventually purchase a motorcycle

I am starting Law School with a 30,000 dollar Scholarship and have already started interning with a top ten Florida Law Firm.

I PLAN on settling down in Tampa Bay, getting season tickets to the Lightning, getting a german shepherd, and living a HAPPY, Long, Debtfree life.

Women have an All-in tendency, except when it is left uncontrolled by men it always leads to disaster. They go All-In with one man, then find a “Better Value” and go All-Inn with him next.

Don’t let women define your value, DEFINE YOUR OWN VALUE

He who is Brave is Free - Seneca

[Maraudrz1Participant 2250]

Some really great and sage advice in this thread. I recommend it for Top Gun forum.

Women's brains and vagina have one thing in common. There is nothing in there until a man puts something in there.

[ghostParticipant]

I read through this thread and was wondering how you are feeling now after a few months?

[X11Spectator 4520]

If you live with yr parents you kinda have to respect their rules and views.

Sure you save money at home but I think it will drive you into the ground, you need to get out of there.

[MGTOW_MikeParticipant 6253]

ghost wrote:

I read through this thread and was wondering how you are feeling now after a few months?

Thanks Gambit, I am feeling much much better, brother. I realized this was caused by my parents putting so much pressure on me, leading to this event. I can now see the big picture and my parents true hidden agenda. I am no longer depressed whatsoever. I have been meditating on this for quite some time. The thing that screwed me up the most is not seeing the true colors of my parents. Now I am at peace with myself.

A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.

[ghostParticipant]

MGTOW_Mike wrote:

I am feeling much much better, brother.

I’m glad to hear that. I read what you said about meditating and I’m definitely going to try your method.

[Author]

Posts