Ex Still Haunting Me

[VectorParticipant 178]

I am just getting out of a 2 year relationship. The thought of not having her around I know will be painful. Plenty of nights in sorrow jerking off to her. The only way to get past that feeling is to bang new chicks. Ain’t no pussy like some new pussy. Once you get a few new ones in rotation, you’ll feel a lot better man, trust me.

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

I just got out of a 2 year relationship in which I was engaged, with a 4 time nation cheerleading champion, that looked like a hotter version of Kate Winslet.

She was a cheerleader at my school, I was a nerd, she liked me. I dated her 8 years after graduation, she had no kids, but she fell in the triple S rule…

 

She was SEXY, she was SINGLE, but she wasn’t SANE.  Not even in the semi-normal manageable way.

I got hung up on her after I left her ass, you know what helped me get over her fast?!  Pursue other women, GET NUMBERS, get ATTENTION from other women, DO NOTHING WITH THEM.

After your mind has been flooded with a multitude of women that have eye f~~~ed you, drop it all, do not get any rebound action and go straight to doing what you want  (Including rebound action if you want, but get a vasectomy first).

That’s what I did, and honestly, I’m a soon to be 32 year old, she was 31, her clock was going off, she was still fine, but nuts.

It took rebounding on a 20 year old FINE ass redhead to clear my mind. I don’t chase this redhead and I’ve moved on to be about me.

I now RARELY EVER think of this bitch (Kate Winslet one), and when I do, it’s only about how incredibly s~~~ she was… *shudders*

This may not be the best advice, but it’s what has worked for me. GL

[BrainPilotParticipant 7662]

Best solution to losing beautiful woman…is another beautiful woman.
Best solution to losing funny woman…is the next funny woman.
Best solution to losing smart woman…is the next smart woman.

The big head thinks, “this one is special!”, and this leads to bad feelings about her absence.

The little head knows better, and will prove it to you, if you just bring on the next woman and give it the chance…

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[HateSweetLiesParticipant 50]

BrainPilot wrote:

Best solution to losing beautiful woman…is another beautiful woman. Best solution to losing funny woman…is the next funny woman. Best solution to losing smart woman…is the next smart woman. The big head thinks, “this one is special!”, and this leads to bad feelings about her absence. The little head knows better, and will prove it to you, if you just bring on the next woman and give it the chance…

I deeply believe it is true. I would love to do this. It is just – when you speak of that it sound like it is easy. I have no problem meeting new women, taking their numbers, going on dates – even kissing them. Still when it comes to moving toward sex I want it but… I feel an invisible wall. It is this feeling that I will make something very bad if I will bang her (and I will be punished). I know it is bulls~~~, but it works on me.

So most of the times I feel similar issues to other men you are helping in this topic. I believe that my innability to get laid anymore is because of it feelings.

The Ludophile wrote:

As you may have guessed: I’m still very emotionally upset about my ex and previous relationship. She pops into my thoughts quite frequently, ruining my mood, interrupting my leisure time, and I can’t see her name or hear someone talking about her without going into all-out emotional shutdown. Unhealthy, sure. I’m in therapy to fix it, but it’s been an incredibly slow process.

I know exactly what you feel my friend… Also it slows up up my goals because this thinking occupy my time.  And I also thinks about every woman I was dating. Every single one that used my time and gave nothing in return. If I could just get some it will be great. But everybody knows that I am not getting anything with this attitude. It is so stupid circle…

 

You used me
To get ya anything you wanted
Oh...but I'm a changed man
It's your other friend that gets ya what you want now

,,Bad Influence"
Robert Cray

[The LudophileParticipant 187]

Thank you all for your advice. It seems a common element here is “find another woman to get over your ex”. But there are some issues with that.

1. I don’t have any opportunities to meet/date women.

2. I have no interest in meeting or dating or f~~~ing or any of that.

3. I cannot pick up women. I am nerdy, honest, and generally emotionally repressed; none of which interest the modern woman (hence, this website exists).

4. The red pill has convinced me I want nothing to do with women. All I am looking for is respite from thinking about my ex. Nothing more.

I have been struggling with thoughts of suicide for the last few days. I can’t identify exactly where this is coming from, but I certainly feel alone and desperate. I wish to Go My Own Way, but there are still issues to resolve before I can leave my old life behind.

Oi. Sorry. Got heavy real fast. Tl;dr: “hooking up” is not an option for

"There is no bad weather; only wrong clothes." ~ Scandinavian saying "I'm happy to see that the U.S. is abandoning the savagery and lies of religion more and more each year. I'm sad to see that politics and feelings are taking religions' place." ~ Me "Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. And, above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty." ~ OldBill

[ComingInHotParticipant 160]

The Ludophile wrote:

Thank you all for your advice. It seems a common element here is “find another woman to get over your ex”. But there are some issues with that. 1. I don’t have any opportunities to meet/date women. 2. I have no interest in meeting or dating or f~~~ing or any of that. 3. I cannot pick up women. I am nerdy, honest, and generally emotionally repressed; none of which interest the modern woman (hence, this website exists). 4. The red pill has convinced me I want nothing to do with women. All I am looking for is respite from thinking about my ex. Nothing more. I have been struggling with thoughts of suicide for the last few days. I can’t identify exactly where this is coming from, but I certainly feel alone and desperate. I wish to Go My Own Way, but there are still issues to resolve before I can leave my old life behind. Oi. Sorry. Got heavy real fast. Tl;dr: “hooking up” is not an option for

 

Things to do:

1.) Stop drinking, it is a depressant and it only makes things worse in this case.

2.) As you said: take up hobbies and if I may, start working out.

3.) Eat right, meditate and start a new day, this day is the beginning of your new life.

4.) If you have health insurance, go see a therapist and psychiatrist if you think you need medication, someone to talk to though is a must, you need to realize the loss and pain you feel is from chemicals in your brain that are released when thinking of her.  Example, youre not having sex, so your not putting out droves of vasopressin, oxytocin and dopamine and getting attached to someone else.  The empty feeling you have is all due to chemicals in your brain.  You need to start a corrective action immediately to get out of this rut.  You need to follow the list and go get laid by a smokin hot escort so your brain can do what it does best, release chemicals when having sex and building new memories and feelings to supersede those of the past.

If you need anything at all just post, we are here for you as much as possible, but you have to remember to put one foot in front of the other and keep going!

[KahnParticipant 41]

I’m in a similar boat to this guy,

And everyone gives the same advice: just go get laid.

Honestly though, something about that just seems f~~~ing sad, I mean, the girl who did this to me just went and f~~~ing replaced me. It was easy for her, I doubt she felt anything or got over it in like… a day.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to just go and hit the reset button on my brain and just start over. I know she threw me away like a f~~~ing toy, and probably never cared to begin with. Even if I could “work things out” and come to some sort of peace with her, I wouldn’t want anything to do with her.

I don’t know… It bothers me that my feelings are so f~~~ing cheap and at the end of the day just provide a way for women to manipulate me. Just going and f~~~ing another woman just to forget about her and pretending I never got hurt seems like just a really efficient way to avoid the issue, but I can’t help but wonder if there is something beyond that, if there is another way to move on that leads to some kind of serenity rather than just rekindling the biological urge to f~~~.

Also, I’m kinda of traumatized to be honest; when a women looks at me with those big moon eyes warning lights go off in my head, and all I see is her and I think to myself “F~~~… what is this (other) woman going to try and scam me for?”

Now that I know love is probably, at best, just some kind of biological fail-safe (not even a very good one at that) to help ensure reproduction (by making the male stick around for a little while – even through pregnancy), all of it seems so f~~~ing worthless. The feelings are worthless, the sex is worthless, and the woman? she is worse than worthless: she’s f~~~ing dangerous and just wants to use me.

I don’t want to go back to the mind games, I’m tired of them.

[The LudophileParticipant 187]

Holy s~~~. @kahn, are you secretly me?! You very eloquently expressed what has been haunting me recently; and for that I thank you.

You really hit upon an important point: the red pill has revealed a simple truth: I am replaceable. My love and dedication didn’t prevent that. My hard work and hard-earned experience will not save me from this.

Additionally, I too am skeptical of womens’ motivations now as well. I have *never* been treated as important or desirable by women, which just makes me more wary and alarmed when one begins to show interest. I don’t want sex anymore because I recognize it is an easy avenue to be harmed. I don’t want to interact with women anymore, because I know that I will be painted as a monster for standing up for myself. The red pill has opened my eyes, but closed many doors.

Our emotions as men are cheapened and discarded at every turn. The emotional struggle I am facing is shrugged off, even by fellow MGTOW (no offense intended, gentlemen). I know I cannot speak to anyone else about this and I am stricken with guilt and shame even just writing this post. When I have confided in friends and coworkers, I inevitably get the “suck it up” final comment. I’m after one of two outcomes: resolution or detachment. I’m not sure which one is worse…

"There is no bad weather; only wrong clothes." ~ Scandinavian saying "I'm happy to see that the U.S. is abandoning the savagery and lies of religion more and more each year. I'm sad to see that politics and feelings are taking religions' place." ~ Me "Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. And, above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty." ~ OldBill

[cuntychopsParticipant 3]

Same over here, i recently split with mine and i took it really badly.

Wont bore with the sticky details but when i went to grab my stuff she slammed the door in my face as if I was trying to sell her something.

she had been using my spare iphone for 2 months so when I got it back i did a recovery on it and saw what she had been doing. All the sex messages to other guys and she hooked up with one the night after an argument that “she” caused.

silly thing to put myself thru but its the closure that alot of guys just dont get, and even tho reading all those messages made me sick, its was the medicine i needed.

At least i know she is not sitting crying over me. Hurts like hell but it allowed me to move on. Still not hit the dating scene or made any moves in that direction but i am focusing more on my health and well being.

Sorry to hijack the OP but my advice is radically change your outlook/health/fitness. Use this nasty experience as leverage to change.

i dont believe booze and getting laid is the answer.

[DanLimitlessParticipant 26]

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHTYi2LrVWg[/youtube]

Watch this and you can be free.

[KahnParticipant 41]

The Ludophile wrote:

Holy s~~~. @kahn, are you secretly me?!

Well, in a way you could say we are brothers.
I’ve been thinking about this, and I think part of the reason the “just go get laid” advice stinks so much is that people are literally saying that the solution to your woman problem is… another woman.
And I’m just sitting here thinking: Are. You. F~~~ing. Serious.

Also, I agree with you about our feelings as men just being absolutely disparaged. I remember watching a Girl Writes What video (on nice guys) and in it she said something that just hit me like a truck (paraphrasing): Men have powerful and uncontrollable feelings too. The way she said it was like that was perfectly normal and ok. No one has ever really said anything like that to me before, as a man, my feelings are always just treated as a problem and they need to be “dealt with” or “suppressed” or even just “replaced.”
But this simple phrase made me realize something: we as men, have a right to the full range of human emotions just like women. And even though society might tell us that’s wrong, even going so far as to criminalize it in some cases; quite frankly I say F~~~ SOCIETY. They only have women’s best interest at heart, not ours.
Indeed, I suspect that men actually experience deeper and more powerful emotions then women do for two reasons:
1. Women get over their feelings very quickly, usually 2 days to 2 weeks tops. Men don’t; usually a minimum of 6 months.
2. Women wear their emotions on their sleeves, so to speak. Men don’t, when we feel something it has meaning: not just a temper tantrum or a mood swing, it has SIGNIFICANCE.
Now, I’m not saying you should become like a woman and wear your emotions on your sleeve like NO. 2, but don’t be ashamed of your feelings: own them. They are a part of you.
And it really is sad that the worst of this disparagement comes from other men, even other MGTOW men. This only goes to show just how deeply entrenched gynocentrism is on most people’s minds; hell, just today on these forums I saw a thread where people were complaining about how chivalry is dead. Chivalry, the second most gynocentric institution right up there with the feminism that “destroyed” it. It made me sick.
That said, you have to take things with a grain of salt, a lot of these guys a pretty new to MGTOW as well.
Anyway, a video that helped me is E-tenebris by Stardusk. Sadly, I don’t think his grasp on this is much better than ours is, and what he suggests is a lot easier said than done, but to be fair; its an almost completely new idea: that men can live without needing women.
And that’s what MGTOW is; something new. It’s a path that is new and unmapped, with only a few markers left by those who have come before. We MGTOW are the adventurers sailing out onto the Atlantic Ocean, not knowing what we will find, but hopeful at finding a brave new world. Though others may tell us we will be eaten by a giant sea serpent for trying, or fall of the edge of the earth, we will continue on-wards because the thirst to find something new, something different is a part of our being as men, and because the old world simply has nothing to offer us. And although some of us might not make it, the new world calls all the same.

Best of luck to you, I don’t have answers, but I hope this helps, even if just a little.

[Boston StranglerParticipant 14]

Got My X Back Real Good Today
This story covers a span of 25 years, but you are getting the abridged version. My X and I were living together for 8 years when she tells me I’m a Workaholic, she gets no attention and wants to quit the relationship (Cohabitation Agreement). She says I’ll never be rich. She wants to start a new life. I buy her half of the house. She moves out. She’s 40 and started to lose her looks. She doesnt find a new guy. She turns to spirituality and meditation to find her purpose in life she says. I am shattered. But I want to p~~~ her off so I start a relationship with a younger Chinese woman just emigrated to Canada. I didnt realize it but this Chinese gal is one phenomenal business woman and wields an enormous amount of power in China. We form an International Trading Company. It takes her just three years to make US$5 million tax free for both of us. I put my ill-gotten gains into an Alter Ego Trust with my kids from previous marriage as beneficiaries. The Chinese spouse wants a baby. I get her pregnant. I become a father again at the age of 51. Hearing of the pregnancy p~~~es the X off even more. She sees I am happy without her. I start another business and within 10 years I sell it and retire at the age of 54. I join forces with a few other guys and we get into the hydroelectric generation business. We complete three projects, the largest if which is $200 million. It has just been finished. We are now at 2014. I put my portion of the income stream which will be $27 million into a Family Trust and give to my kids. Neither I or the Chinese spouse need it. We already have plenty.

OK now the story. I contact the X with a letter telling her I don’t want a response. She can laugh at it and/or delete it. It takes me two pages to tell her how beautiful she was, how much I loved her and that I still loved her, and especially how much devastation and hurt she caused me, blah, blah, blah. Told her I didnt understand? Why didnt she try to make things work. Even after 25 years I am still hurting. I secretly hope she would respond and she did with a nice two page letter telling me her side of the story and apologizing. Tells me all about her life, that she never met anyone and lives alone, and then she gives me an opening. She says I always wondered how you were and how you were doing. She doesn’t know I am now extremely wealthy. I respond with another two page letter telling her how great my Chinese spouse is, how great the relationship is (now 24 years), how great our son is (now in university) and then I tell her how much money I have made and transferred to my kids. I give her enough details to prove it is no bulls~~~. Names of people both she and I know. She can check the facts. Yeah, The guy who will never ever get rich. I give her a Chinese proverb which says “Who Will Cry For You” implying that I have people who will grieve when I am gone (I am now 70) whereas she is 65 and has nobody (other than good friends). I tell her I don’t want to create a thread and so this was my last letter ever. I get a real short note back and I mean real short. Her spirituality and meditations streak kicks in). She tells me that the universe is unfolding as it should. She doesn’t want anyone to cry for her. She wants everyone to have a party. Yeah, that’s going to happen. I can see she is one p~~~ed off X. So guys, without asking for a vote, I am positive I won that round handily.

I am a MGTOW. The relationship with the Chinese spouse is not even Common Law. She has her place and I have mine.

[Anonymous 2]

I always feel haunted by girls that never became that ex. Girls that never got the chance to prove their true inner uglyness. Last month I couln’t stop thinking about this one gorgeous girl dated once. But now she’s turning into a heartless c~~~ that has a f~~~ton of other priorities so I guess it won’t take long to get rid of it. It gets better with age and a diet of red pills.

[secomikeParticipant 27]

Sidecar, you are right on. The best revenge is living well.
Ludophile, it hurts for a while. Then it gets better. There is a cosmic misalignment of forces here. When a man and a woman first break up, the woman feels free and alive (did you ever see a dog who just broke off his tether?). She’s gonna enjoy that freedom partly because she knows you’re hurting. And you are. The man on the other hand feels hurt, betrayed, lacking. But the forces realign themselves soon enough. She’ll start to miss you. She’ll call…they always do. The question is: will you let her back in? Buddy, if you do, you can count on her doing the same thing again…anytime she figures you ain’t towing the line to her liking. Tell her to p~~~ up a rope, my good man. You’ll be glad you did in years to come.
As for now, here are a few rules:
Don’t listen to love songs…or any music that reminds you of her. Listen to power classics. Don’t watch anything on TV that you used to watch with her. Same with movies…it goes without saying that anything that even remotely resembles a chick flick is out. Watch Bonanza or a John Wayne movie. Change restaurants. Don’t go where you went with her. If you work out or take a course or otherwise try to improve your mind and body, do it for yourself. Don’t do it harboring hopes that she’ll like the new and improved you. Don’t BLAME YOURSELF. Don’t dive into a bottle.
Your roommate ain’t helping. Get another one…or live alone.
Stick it out, buddy. Stick it out. Put on your happy face and get on with life. My old man told me one of the greatest truths I ever heard years ago.
If a woman doesn’t want to be with you, walk away smiling.
And always remember…if you really want one, they’re like buses. Another one will be along in about ten minutes.

[SoldanoParticipant 108]

I’ve been trough that and it’s hard, harder than losing someone, because it seems the world lives to remind you of her,

Everybody will tell you the same thing, what you need to do is get over it by focusing on something else. Avoid all the places and people you know in common. Change cities if you can, go to thailand and f~~~ as many bar girls as you can, if you can’t stock on food and start a TV show marathon. Play videogames like it’s real life. Meet new people.

You need time to recover but most of all what you need is to be in a place which doesn’t remind you constantly of your failed relationship. What’s done is done it happens to everyone, focus on something you and if you can’t sleep because of that tell yourself: hey man, don’t be like that, Soldano and the guys on the MGTOW forum would tell you to snap out of it. Keep your mind busy.

If you read a book make sure it’s stupid and fun and doesn’t contain love stories. If you l;ike music make sure it’s either heavy metal, or some hardcore s~~~, but no ballads and piano. Play GTA where you can not final fantasy X.

Avoid girls for a while. Not too long.

After one month i started dating. The breakup somewhat freed me as i got much more pussy than i expected, but i wasn’t ready to be serious and the girls wouldn’t hear it so after i while i stopped dating completely for a couple of months. Eventually i learned that there are more girls available at any given point than time on your schedule, it’s in fact harder to kick them out than get them in.

[HateSweetLiesParticipant 50]

Soldano wrote:

Eventually i learned that there are more girls available at any given point than time on your schedule, it’s in fact harder to kick them out than get them in.

I would love to have a situation like that. My situation is slightly different – I am single for over 2 years (well if few dates and kissses counts then 2 weeks bu no sex for 2 years), most of women don’t give me any attention (some black girl does, maybe because I am very pale but even with them it never went beyond calling them and asking out for a date. They never come). Because of that all my ex and girls that rejected me are taking over my thoughts.

Well to all men that like myself have difficulty clearing their mind from bitches – lets team up. Lets make a statement here and lets win with that!

Ok so officially I want to state that from now on every time I will start thinking about my exes or girls that rejected me I will redirect my thoughts to anything that is good for me (my studies, my games, my favourite food).

Also I will refrain from viewing any pictures/videos/profiles of them!

I start this now – guys, think what you need to redirect and start with me!

You used me
To get ya anything you wanted
Oh...but I'm a changed man
It's your other friend that gets ya what you want now

,,Bad Influence"
Robert Cray

[hankmoodyforuParticipant 16]

Thank god there are other men out there that thinks the way I do. If you and your boys are friends with your girl an once you yall break up your boys cut her off too. Point blank its the code of honor. I think its more to it than that if your male friend is still hanging out with your ex girlfriend then that male frined is up to something maybe trying to sleep with her. Im just saying.

your tears of regret cannot turn back the hands of time!

[BlackEagleParticipant 54]

Hello, as some above me have mentioned, stay way from booze. Work out bend some bars drops some plates release that inner hurt. Someone here also said use denial, actually am completely against denial  as Kubler  Ross said there is 5 stages of  which a person experiences when in heart ache or emotional trauma. are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. If you keep denying what has happend you will not be able to heal.  The only one i believe you should experience as little as possible is depression, this is where physical work and keeping busy will help you .Accept it ,get busy, physical release. Start doing things you liked to do when you were single before her. embody what you learned from this experience use to your advantage. One other thing  that made me move one a a little sooner from my heart ache is a made her an enemy. She was all that was against me i had to make my self better to conquer her kind. Take care brother keep your chin up.

[Anonymous 9]

What helped me get over the pain of a major breakup was to go on a f~~~ing spree.

It may seem sophomoric to say, but that’s the only way I really got over the hurt. Then once I started f~~~ing other girls I knew what my problem was…

It wasn’t love that I was missing, but I had to channel all of that pain into being a man who doesn’t give a f~~~, and continue in my rampage of trying to screw as many women as possible.

It worked too. Then I was able to find out about the many nuances of sex, and the variety that I had been missing while dating that bitch.

You’re a free man now.

Go out and conquer, and once you start f~~~ing different women you won’t even give a s~~~.

 

 

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