Ex Still Haunting Me

[The LudophileParticipant 187]

Hey MGTOW,

I don’t expect responses, advice, or anything really. This post is for me. I need to vent this somewhere, and MGTOW feels like the most appropriate place. But if I don’t do this, I may just get drunk alone tonight…again….

I visited some of my friends this weekend that I hadn’t seen in many years. The last time I saw them was when I was dating my ultra-evil-AWALT-ex. So, as you might expect, and to my extreme discomfort, there were conversations about my ex. How things went down, how everyone thought she was the wrong one for me, and all that jazz. I tried to keep it cool, but inside I was twisting in pain with every utterance of her name. Every moment I had to remember and convey to answer a simple question felt like my heart and b~~~~ were being crushed. I made it through, but I was certainly not in a great mood when I left.

On the way home, I spoke with my sister shortly about relations~~~s. Unfortunately, this did not improve my disposition.

Today, I encountered my roommate and best friend and asked him what he had been up to this weekend. He said he was at my ex’s birthday party. My heart sank to the floor and I wanted to tell him that I wish he wasn’t her friend and that I hope she is miserable. I know it’s unfair to ask the former and I know the latter is not the case, and probably never will.

As you may have guessed: I’m still very emotionally upset about my ex and previous relationship. She pops into my thoughts quite frequently, ruining my mood, interrupting my leisure time, and I can’t see her name or hear someone talking about her without going into all-out emotional shutdown. Unhealthy, sure. I’m in therapy to fix it, but it’s been an incredibly slow process.

I get that I dodged the marriage bullet. I get that lots of MGTOW have it worse. I get that complaining about my ex and my continued emotional pain is the definition of “first world problems.” And I get that this is really the only place that I can write this without ridicule or echoes of “suck it up”.

…I think I feel better? Maybe another beer wouldn’t hurt…

"There is no bad weather; only wrong clothes." ~ Scandinavian saying "I'm happy to see that the U.S. is abandoning the savagery and lies of religion more and more each year. I'm sad to see that politics and feelings are taking religions' place." ~ Me "Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. And, above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty." ~ OldBill

[33wolfmanParticipant 216]

Get that s~~~ off your chest, you’ll feel better. Bottling that s~~~ in will only drive you crazy, find something you love to do and focus on that, push all the other s~~~ out of your mind. Try to say away from and circle’s she’s in and tell your roommate you don’t want to hear about anything related to her. The farther you distance yourself from her the better.

[cuntychopsParticipant 3]

Hey brother, I have just been thru something very similar and very hurtfull. Won’t bore you with the dirty details but let’s just say she is right at the top of the naughty list.

I knew I needed to get into something as I tend to take these things badly. so I started focusing on my body and working out like hell while studying nutrition and what helps maintains a good bod. I’m also expanding my mind into new subjects and I will stay on this path as it is serving me well .

Without her f~~~ing me over I probably wouldn’t have done this. so make some massive changes and take it as a blessing.

fall in love with your self again and they will come to you. We shouldn’t have to chase these creatures.

Your worst day can become your best day

Peace and love man

 

 

 

[Q_ElementParticipant 19]

Another beer wouldn’t hurt. Go hit a local spot and check things out. Get out and talk to people and do whatever it takes to keep your mind of her s~~~. This may sound bizarre but try and mentally block everything about her from your mind. I think there is a certain psychological reference to it called denial.  Everytime she pops up turn the switch off. It’s hard but it will work once you put it in practice. Too bad you have mutual friends that know her, that doesn’t help the situation; but there is a thing called “guy code”. Male mutual friends of their buddy’s ex shouldn’t have anything to do with girls. Perhaps explaining that to your friend-roomate would set him straight to understand the concept.

Also travel helps. Get the hell out and hit a major City like NYC, LA, Miami, etc. for a few days. I find that can help too.

[The LudophileParticipant 187]

Thanks, guys. I have been pretty good about focusing on my hobbies and doing my best to stay away from contact with her. The relapses seem to come in waves, about a month between each. But when those relapses occur, it wrecks my hobby rhythm and makes forgetting her that much harder.

Again, I’m still struggling with the idea that I will be alone for the rest of my life. I’m trying to make the best of it: planning trips to foreign countries; buying things I want/need; and not engaging with any women beyond the friend zone.

Anyway, one of the thoughts I had after finishing that post: I’m legit afraid of my roommate and her beginning to date. I don’t know what I would do that about that…

"There is no bad weather; only wrong clothes." ~ Scandinavian saying "I'm happy to see that the U.S. is abandoning the savagery and lies of religion more and more each year. I'm sad to see that politics and feelings are taking religions' place." ~ Me "Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. And, above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty." ~ OldBill

[33wolfmanParticipant 216]

One other thing, do you think she cares how your feeling? She could give two farts in the wind on how you feel, you were out of her mind 2minute after you last seen each other. Sun Tzu, know your enemy.

[The LudophileParticipant 187]

@33wolfman Oh, I am acutely aware that she doesn’t give a s~~~ about me. I don’t expect her to care. I hope she doesn’t know how much damage she dealt to me. I don’t want her to have that satisfaction. It was obvious during the break-up that she didn’t care at all about me.

"There is no bad weather; only wrong clothes." ~ Scandinavian saying "I'm happy to see that the U.S. is abandoning the savagery and lies of religion more and more each year. I'm sad to see that politics and feelings are taking religions' place." ~ Me "Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. And, above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty." ~ OldBill

[33wolfmanParticipant 216]

There you go, anytime thoughts or feelings about her pop in your head remember that and use it like a sledgehammer to smash the s~~~ out of those thoughts and feelings.

[cuntychopsParticipant 3]

That’s probably not a rational thought so put it away just now. Get to a place where something as horrible as that won’t budge you because you are the f~~~ing man.

Weakness repels , strengthen your body and your mind in full knowledge that you will be a better person at the other end.

If you do start to think about her then just thank her (in your head) for doing this too you because let’s face it, it was gonna happen eventually and your going to be so much stronger as a result.

Hard to see it like tht just now but it will come.

These people are ment to pop up and do this s~~~ to us so we can get training for the next level.

 

 

 

 

[Q_ElementParticipant 19]

If your roommate starts seeing her (which could be his intention), then ALL bets are off. Kick his ass out or move ASAP. If there is a lease-agreement then deal with a buyout or whatever you have to do to break it. This is exactly what you don’t need and it will show both of them you a measure of b~~~~ to take them on.

[Anonymous 43]

@Ludophile, What you’re feeling is normal, it’s the ache of a broken heart, women do not feel the same as men. She does not care about your well being, the sooner you realize that, the sooner you will be free in spirit, I don’t recommend drinking to numb the pain and frustration, alcohol only makes it worse the next day. Focus on being free, focus on your future. Feelings of remorse are human nature, we can’t change the past, we can only navigate the future. I saw an X-girlfriend recently, from years ago; it sparked emotion, even though I hadn’t seen her since the early 1990’s. I disallowed my self to be manipulated by her and her deceptive treachery. That monkey was looking for a branch. I cut all my branches off, she recognized this and became “naturally” cold and disengaging. I precipitated my coldness right back to her, I was not interested. I don’t care if I ever see her again.

Time combined with strengthening your MGHOW mindset will release you from any feelings that may arise, freedom lasts forever; freedom is a state of mind, freedom will prevail! It’s all up to you!

Hang in there brother, your life awaits you, freedom welcomes you, we welcome you……

It’s your turn!

[DJKevgeezParticipant 141]

You sound like you just stepped out of the Mangina bro.  That first post was very feminine…

Let go.

Have you fkd any chicks since her?  There’s no reason why you should still be upset about her.

See how much you care after you’ve hit a few other chicks.

 

[sidecarParticipant 35874]

@The Ludophile
The best revenge is to live well. It’s also the best therapy too. I know you’re hurting, but you’re only thinking about that bitch because you don’t have something better to occupy your mind. So find something to occupy it. Preferably something that improves your life.

If you concentrate on self improvement, work on your physique, work on your career, work on your savings, do everything you can to improve your life with no f~~~s given, I can guarantee that in a few years time she will take another look at you and come to deeply regret what she missed out on. And then it will be you haunting her for the rest of her life. They always regret most the ones that got away. Meantime you’re Going Your Own Way, and have zero f~~~s to send her way.

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

Ludophile:

 

Been there, suffered for it too many times.  The first time my head was seriously messed up because of a woman was in my late teens and it took me about 2 years to finally put it behind me.  The last time, I was in my early 40s, and it took a few months, though it helped that the man she dumped me for got her pregnant.

 

My advice is to immerse yourself in your work and your hobbies.  It’ll take your mind off your ex and it’ll allow you time to decompress.  Going to the gym on a regular basis can help a lot, too.  Get the stress of being dumped out of your system.  But, don’t overdo it with the booze.  Trust me:  there’s nothing worse than wasting a hangover on a woman who couldn’t care less about you.

 

 

 

[The LudophileParticipant 187]

@djkevgeez

@sidecar & @Quarter Wave Vertical: You’re right. I just need to double down on my hobbies. Thanks again.

"There is no bad weather; only wrong clothes." ~ Scandinavian saying "I'm happy to see that the U.S. is abandoning the savagery and lies of religion more and more each year. I'm sad to see that politics and feelings are taking religions' place." ~ Me "Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. And, above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty." ~ OldBill

[RennieParticipant]

33wolfman wrote:

There you go, anytime thoughts or feelings about her pop in your head remember that and use it like a sledgehammer to smash the s~~~ out of those thoughts and feelings.

It must be destroyed immediately, before it gets entrenched.

[finallyfreeParticipant 341]

Hey Ludophile ” I tried to keep it cool, but inside I was twisting in pain with every utterance of her name. Every moment I had to remember and convey to answer a simple question felt like my heart and b~~~~ were being crushed. I made it through, but I was certainly not in a great mood when I left”.

I feel like you just told my story in detail. I know exactly how that feels. My ex haunts me too.  I had to tell my family to never even mention her name around me. Not sure how to get over this 100% . But I can say that some of the above comments  on how to get over this are good. You have to completely block her from memory (which is extremely hard to do). Get rid of all and I mean “ALL” things that remind you of her. Quickly change the subject when friends or family bring her up. I even deleted my face book page because her pics kept popping up after I blocked her. I know it sounds drastic but it did help some.

[gamesman800Participant 4]

hey dude i have a question for you
How often do you think she thinks about you?
Why would she call your bestfriend to her party?
And why the f~~~ is she in your head? Tell that bitch to GTFO!
Please don’t get offended just think on those questions…

[gamesman800Participant 4]

But bottling that s~~~ up in your mind is really dangerous cause when you encounter that s~~~ in any type of fashion in anyway like simply meeting her…your mind and body will be destroyed inside and out

You gotta use the thoughts of her to destroy itself
think of the times when she would f~~~ you over or how the broke up ended and how you think she feels and f~~~ing use that to destroy those thoughts!
you will see how full of yourself you will get and then when you meet her in person…she’ll be like trash to you and no one can change you mind! -Brodread

[– Deleted on Request –Spectator 936]

How often will your ex think of you?  In statistics, that number would be an empty set.  (No, not zero.  Zero is still considered a quantity.)

 

I was reminded of that when I was much younger.  I made the mistake of contacting some old flames with a “remember me” phone call.  They didn’t even know who I was any more, even though the previous time I’d spoken to them was on the order of 10 or 12 years.  It was as if I had never even existed.

 

The moral of the story is that once it’s over, it’s over.  There’s no point in wasting any time pining about someone who has completely wiped one from her memory.  Let the wounds heal, stand up again, and move on.

 

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