Do You Still Go Out? Are You Becoming Detached From People?

[HeracliusParticipant 57]

Lately I’ve been getting more engrossed in MGTOW material, and my desire to go out or even be around woman has lessened significantly. I feel like there is absolutely zero benefit and it’s even detrimental, because it get’s my mind all worked up. It’s an instinctive desire to impress women, and it just creates stress and makes you act all alpha and s~~~ and I personally feel stupid when doing that but I can’t help acting differently around women.

Since I now realize for sure that there is no benefit to having a relationship, I feel very little desire to go out, and even communicate with people at all. The biological urge to have sex is still there, as strong as ever, but I’ve been taking care of that through regular masturbation. So whenever I find myself thinking about doing something to pursue women, I rub one out and I’m good for the day. The problem is that not going out or not planning to have sex/get a gf/get married makes you seem weird and you start to become more and more detached from everyone, because friends and family are in that hedonistic mode, in which they do everything to “feel happy”.

I’m currently in a stage where the only thing that brings me to a state of relative satisfaction is being at peace with myself and progressing in some way or another. It can be little things like watching an interesting Joe Rogan podcast, or training, meditating, reading a book, or making money. Whatever it is, I feel like the only possible mode of action that I can tolerate is being alone for most of my days, sprinkled with a cup of coffee with someone from time to time. The truth is that most people bring nothing to the conversation. I’m not saying that they’re bad at verbal communication, it’s just that they have very little interest to discuss things of importance. I like to analyze things, whether it’s life, business, some cool self-development goals etc. But what I get out of conversations is usually random chatter, so I feel like my time is much better invested in listening to an interview of someone sharing a valuable life lesson or a cool piece of information. Perhaps my old friends are losers, and I should get new ones? But I assume it’s pretty hard to find MGTOW friends in real life who are all about self-development, meditation and stuff like that. I bet 99% of people are pursuing the hedonistic treadmill lifestyle.

So I’m wondering, do any of you feel that way as well? Like not being able to “tolerate” going out any longer, because there’s just no benefit or end goal to it? And do you feel that you’re getting more detached from the people around you due to your MGTOW lifestyle, becoming a solitary creature in the process? I’d like to hear your thoughts on this.

[Anonymous 7]

I rarely go out except to grocery shop and the like.
I do got out to ride my motorcycle but that is usually a solo activity for me.

I have gotten to the point where I just don’t wan’t to engage with other people. The exception is this place.

[Anonymous 6]

I’m detached from people who don’t think like me

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

Going to my buddies house tonight to watch UFC.

During past 4 years relationship with GF, I NEVER did that. I blew my guy friends off all the time. I was so whipped. COuldn’t see straight.

Last weekend, my other buddy came over and we played Call of Duty. His wife kept calling. He goes “WTF is her problem!! THat’s so f~~~ing rude!!!….oh s~~~ bro, its 4am!!!!!”

LOLOLOLOL

[MonkParticipant 17069]

I don’t tolerate fools gladly.

That tends to cut down my options a bit.

[surfdude12Participant 4103]

I recently read Ayn Rand. She believes EVERYONE should detach from people who don’t display virtue. This goes for MGTOWs, non-MGTOWs, women, everyone. If a person is not virtuous (i.e. lying, greedy, selfish, etc) do not give them any of your precise time or resources. Women in relationships demonstrate those character traits, hence I avoid relationshisp with women. I”d also avoid a friendship with a dude named Bob if he demonstrated any of them.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

I understand everything you said here VERY well and found myself nodding a lot while reading it.

You didn’t indicate your age, but personally, I’m not 21 and “curious” anymore. Curiosity and limited understanding used to inspire me to socialize more… but I no longer look to others for social cues.

When you stop looking to others for social cues, or to establish your own “values” system, your private time and solitude becomes more important to you. So I don’t see it as a problem. Others become a distraction.

Where peers might suggest “you should get out more”… it’s because they still feel a need to be around people, noise, and crowds etc. But I am now more sensitive to “noise” than ever, and would rather be without it.

99% of the time, I don’t even listen to music while working, but others around me have their headphones on, jog with their phones listening to music, and I would just rather not. I was also like that at in my 20s too. I just had other interests while they went out and partied – which always seemed silly to me.

I preferred to work, so I always had a second (or third) job or interest.

Heraclius wrote:

The truth is that most people bring nothing to the conversation.

Agree totally and I know what you mean. I can’t abide “small talk” either. I hate it.

Heraclius wrote:

I can’t help acting differently around women.

This I don’t have a problem with, but I see it in other guys – and a good friend of mine too. He changes completely around women, but then again, we have very different backgrounds, and I was always surrounded by girls in private ( boarding ) school 24/7. It was like growing up with 300 sisters ( and brothers ).

So when he sees a cleavage or a skirt, something changes in him. Where other men might cave when a woman bats her eyes or wants something, I am more the incorruptible exception.

Otherwise, I don’t believe I am more “isolated” than anyone else. And if I am, its certainly not a problem. I’d rather see a movie late on a Monday night and be the only person there, than a full theatre where I am forced to listen to the bus driver behind me explain filmmaking to his wife.

As long as you LIKE all of this about yourself, then there is no reason to change.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[OldBillParticipant]

Heraclius wrote:

So I’m wondering, do any of you feel that way as well? Like not being able to “tolerate” going out any longer, because there’s just no benefit or end goal to it? And do you feel that you’re getting more detached from the people around you due to your MGTOW lifestyle, becoming a solitary creature in the process? I’d like to hear your thoughts on this.

I make a point of going out so as to maintain some amount of sociability. Solitude is good, but too much of any good thing can be bad.

Solitude is also very seductive and should be resisted on that basis alone.

I purposely cultivate interest and activities which require me leaving my home and interacting with other people. I hike, canoe, go to art galleries, and enjoy live music and theater among other things.

What I don’t do is go out just to go out. I don’t “hang out” somewhere. I’m out and about with a reason and for a purpose. There’s no muddling along, no empty hours. I’m doing something.

Man is a social animal. Only a very few can or should ignore that aspect of ourselves. Not all of us can or should be Dick Proenneke.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

surfdude12 wrote:

Going to my buddies house tonight to watch UFC.

Me too! I hope Jones gets wrecked!

My life was never centered around chasing pussy so the concept of not chasing pussy doesn’t mean I have no reason to go out or be social. I still have friends I do things with and lots of family in the area.

If anything has changed, its my financial goals. Once you take things like a house, kids, and a wife out of the equation, you realize you can be financially set for life at a rather young age.

[Anonymous 1]

Heraclius wrote:

And do you feel that you’re getting more detached from the people around you due to your MGTOW lifestyle, becoming a solitary creature in the process?

I always felt detached from the people around me, even in Elementary School. I hated the continuous noise and pointless chatter. I would say my MGTOW lifestyle is a direct result of my detachment from people, not the other way around. It is a necessity for my survival. I can’t imagine my life being any other way.

[HeracliusParticipant 57]

Keymaster wrote:

I understand everything you said here VERY well and found myself nodding a lot while reading it.

You didn’t indicate your age, but personally, I’m not 21 and “curious” anymore. Curiosity and limited understanding used to inspire me to socialize more… but I no longer look to others for social cues.

When you stop looking to others for social cues, or to establish your own “values” system, your private time and solitude becomes more important to you. So I don’t see it as a problem. Others become a distraction.

Where peers might suggest “you should get out more”… it’s because they still feel a need to be around people, noise, and crowds etc. But I am now more sensitive to “noise” than ever, and would rather be without it.

99% of the time, I don’t even listen to music while working, but others around me have their headphones on, jog with their phones listening to music, and I would just rather not. I was also like that at in my 20s too. I just had other interests while they went out and partied – which always seemed silly to me.

I preferred to work, so I always had a second (or third) job or interest.

Heraclius wrote:

The truth is that most people bring nothing to the conversation.

Agree totally and I know what you mean. I can’t abide “small talk” either. I hate it.

Heraclius wrote:

I can’t help acting differently around women.

This I don’t have a problem with, but I see it in other guys – and a good friend of mine too. He changes completely around women, but then again, we have very different backgrounds, and I was always surrounded by girls in private ( boarding ) school 24/7. It was like growing up with 300 sisters ( and brothers ).

So when he sees a cleavage or a skirt, something changes in him. Where other men might cave when a woman bats her eyes or wants something, I am more the incorruptible exception.

Otherwise, I don’t believe I am more “isolated” than anyone else. And if I am, its certainly not a problem. I’d rather see a movie late on a Monday night and be the only person there, than a full theatre where I am forced to listen to the bus driver behind me explain filmmaking to his wife.

As long as you LIKE all of this about yourself, then there is no reason to change.

That’s a great reply. I’m 24. I’ve always been a loner type, but still had the urge to hang out. It slowly fades away the more I realize the downfalls of relationships and the lack of value that they bring in the long run. It just seems like a waste of time and energy for the sole purpose of being “happy”. I don’t want to be happy. I prefer pain and suffering as long as it has a purpose behind it. As Nietzsche says, man is the rope that stretches between the beast and the Overman. Perhaps a bit cringy, but that’s how I feel about life. We have enormous potential, why squander it on “hanging out” and feeling goody.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

I find most of people really uncomfortable to be around.

Places where people go “out” usually involve drinking or dancing, I don’t like either.

I do interact with coworkers and colleagues, nothing more.

Don’t know who are my neighbors and I don’t care.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

“Happy ” is just a mental state.

Like laughter can be induced by someone laughing for no reason.

I met a guy 65 years old, diabetic, both legs amputated, had an infection that was eating him alive in the stump, there was no more tissue to cut off and antibiotics where almost useless.

The guy was dead basically, happiest guy on earth… how is possible?

Happiness is a mental state, you can’t buy it, can’t steal it, can’t get it, can’t pass it nor be received.

You just are happy or not, is up to you.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[xenonParticipant 2007]

This is a great post with great replies. Many of you echoed pretty much how I feel.

[ghostParticipant]

Heraclius – I feel 100% the same as you brother. I do the exact same things as well. I couldn’t have written this post better myself.

[MrMeParticipant 651]

No, I live in a cave and haven’t seen the sun for 30 years.

[xenonParticipant 2007]

And another great reply rolls in. My sentiments exactly.

[MonkeyMindParticipant 5340]

[HeracliusParticipant 57]

Carnage wrote:

“Happy ” is just a mental state.

Like laughter can be induced by someone laughing for no reason.

I met a guy 65 years old, diabetic, both legs amputated, had an infection that was eating him alive in the stump, there was no more tissue to cut off and antibiotics where almost useless.

The guy was dead basically, happiest guy on earth… how is possible?

Happiness is a mental state, you can’t buy it, can’t steal it, can’t get it, can’t pass it nor be received.

You just are happy or not, is up to you.

Yep, my grandma was the same way. Also diabetic and ended up in the bed in a nursing home, but she was laughing all the way to the grave. My other grandma is super-negative although her health is far better.

ghost wrote:

Heraclius – I feel 100% the same as you brother. I do the exact same things as well. I couldn’t have written this post better myself.

Thanks, that’s nice to hear.

[GregB0Participant]

OldBill wrote:

Heraclius wrote:

So I’m wondering, do any of you feel that way as well? Like not being able to “tolerate” going out any longer, because there’s just no benefit or end goal to it?

I make a point of going out so as to maintain some amount of sociability. Solitude is good, but too much of any good thing can be bad.

Solitude is also very seductive and should be resisted on that basis alone.

I purposely cultivate interest and activities which require me leaving my home and interacting with other people. I hike, canoe, go to art galleries, and enjoy live music and theater among other things.

What I don’t do is go out just to go out. I don’t “hang out” somewhere. I’m out and about with a reason and for a purpose. There’s no muddling along, no empty hours. I’m doing something.

Man is a social animal. Only a very few can or should ignore that aspect of ourselves. Not all of us can or should be Dick Proenneke.

Engaging in those activities that have personal interest or cultural / historic significance to you are important to your evolution as a person. Reading and listening had its role, but actual first hand experience cannot be replaced.

As others have commented, get out but do it on your terms. Don’t allow yourself to become part of the “I’ve been there and I’ve done that crowd.”

It’s ensuring that you get what you want out of the social experience, not that you do something just to tell others about.

It’s your life, live it and have no regrets.

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland

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