Do you know any men in a happy marriage?

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

A few years ago I asked my mom how many couples in her set, she’s 84 right now, and her set didn’t get divorced, I don’t know of one divorce in her crowd.  I asked her of the couples that had these long term marriages of greater than 50 years how many did she think were happy.  I know that she was happy, my dad seemed honestly happy.  My aunts and uncles might have been less known to me but appeared at least contented and used to one another.

My mother said that in her opinion 25% of these “1950’s” style stay married till you died marriages were happy.  So even in the day when divorce was unthinkable and, frankly, illegal, 75% of marriages were unhappy.

I think she vastly overestimates.  She is a feminist although she would disavow that word vehemently if you accused her of it.  But even an old pro-marriage feminist thinks that marriage is a suckers bet.

Shame she didn’t tell me that when I was younger.  Not that I would have listened.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

Who said marriage is supposed to be happy? It’s not a f~~~ing rave party. It’s a lot of work
But I do know plenty  of content marriages
and if not content – they’re at least tolerable
When they aren’t tolerable – they fall apart, and you can’t “know” them when they fall apart.

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[NinjaParticipant 39]

Marriages: Decreasing, but see new ones all the time
Unhappy Marriages: Lots, everywhere, one only needs to look at the environment
Prearranged Marriages: Not many, subset of unhappy marriage
Happy Marriages: Like trying to find the Sasquatch in the rockies

Most men I see are “happy” in a sense that they are resigned to their fate and don’t know anything better. An analogy is like a wild lion, free and dominating in his own domain, but then it gets enslaved, beaten, house trained and years later that spark in the lion’s eyes is gone. I see this loss of spirit just absolutely extinguished when I see these poor sob’s.

Does it count as a happy marriage if I marry a sex android? 🙂

[uchibenkeiParticipant 7965]

I know a few couples who appear happy but you never know what is going on behind closed doors.  It’s natural to put on an air of happiness in front of others.  I don’t trust my eyes when it comes to marital happiness.  lol  I will say that those couples are “old fashioned”.  The wife stays home and enjoys being a housewife, dad works.  The nuclear family.  There is only 1 couple that is not “old fashioned” and I’m pretty sure the wife has cheated on him and he knows it but won’t talk about it, trying to protect her “honor”.

I bathe in the tears of single moms.

[DarthWParticipant 70]

I might know one or two “happy” marriages out of dozens that seem stressed, argumentative, etc.  My sister and brother-in-law seem happy, but really my brother-in-law drew the short stick marrying my often entitled, whiny sister.

As for most of the other married men I know, when I ask them “If you had the chance would you get married again?”  These men – and sometimes even the occasional woman I ask – will reply in some way like “I love my spouse, but if something would happen to her I would never marry again.”  And that’s all I ever needed to hear to cast my doubts about marriage, because if they were in the midst of marriage, and marriage were so, so great, these men would say something much more positive about marriage.

[Anonymous 13]

Scandinavian wrote:

itself and making the husband the legal father of any children automatically if no complaints are made,

hmm, it sounds like your country is an orphan hatchery then.  You point out a complication that seriously needs revisited here.

[DJCParticipant 44]

I know a guy, he lives in Cali, wife lives in Washington Dc, he seems super happy.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

My first marriage was a happy one. Best wife ever!!
She lived in Brooklyn, I lived in Minneapolis. I spent $10 on her. I haven’t heard a single complaint from her. We have been happily married for 4 years. Divorced by mail. No alimony no children no child support. We never even had sex, but that’s a positive, because she was a 6.5 and I was not attracted to her. She was a citizen of Belarus, so she was eligible to apply for political asylum. I got it through her as her husband. All she wanted from me is to split the immigration lawyer bill 50/50. Best wife ever.

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[mgtow_85Participant 752]

Both of my brothers-in-law seem happy in their marriages with my sisters.

My younger sister has been married 10 years and has 5 kids. She seems to keep her husband on a long leash. He can play video games after work, hang out with the other guys, etc., and never catch any hell from her for it. Apparently, they rarely argue as well. My sister jokes that they get along so well because he’s gone at work a lot working 12-hour shifts to provide for the family.

Or maybe it’s not a joke, but what the hell? He seems happy enough and doesn’t seem to resent anything about his life at all in all the time I know him.

My older sister just celebrated her first year of marriage two days ago. They also seem happy enough, but hey, give it time. I used to share a house with my older sister, and if I bought a burger for her, she’d get mad at me because she’s “on a diet”, and if I didn’t buy s~~~ for her on a burger-spending spree, she’d get mad at me for being “selfish” and not including her. So I say, just give that marriage some time.

[JollyMisanthropeParticipant 3356]

I’m not privy to the goings on beyond the keeping up appearances interactions that most married couples adhere to. Things may look fine on the surface but who knows.

The Children of Doom... Doom's Children. They told my lord the way to the Mountain of Power. They told him to throw down his sword and return to the Earth... Ha! Time enough for the Earth in the grave.

[ApplejackSpectator 235]

No.  I know of a few men that have resigned to their fate and try to get as much happiness as possible given the circumstances.  But no one that’s just openly happy.  If you find a newlywed couple, the guy is usually pretty happy.  But it fades rather quickly.  If you find an old traditional couple, they’re usually at least content.  I’ll put it to you this way…neither of them are “happy,” but at least they’re not miserable and they’re both equally satisfied with each other.  But those days are long gone.

[UmbreonParticipant 152]

Taking stock of married people I have talked to in the last couple years (I typically avoid them as I do not want to be around their kids).

#1: Married, happy for the first three years, have two kids now and are miserable. Staying together “for the kids” and hating life.

#2: Married, sterilized. Mostly happy even if he’s a moody mangina.

#3: Married five years, three kids, staying together entirely for the insurance and money as he’s in the military. Funny- the military is booting him out soon as he hurt his back so the relationship is falling apart!

#4: Married 50 years, not happy but think they’re too old to bother with trying again.

#5: Three marriages, none of them happy after the first two years. Three divorces, too.

#7: Married, not really happy but they spend enough time apart due to work to not want to kill each other.

…I’m starting to see a pattern.

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

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