Divorce Stories /Therapy /NoHoldsBarred

[KranitzParticipant 22]

Yes, it was due to my own stupidity and good intentions, and we know where good intentions lead..

And she luckily has only had contact with me in order to handle paperwork. The kids aren’t mine, and I have paperwork signed by the both of us on record. That was her idea, as she had taken her twin sister’s idea of popping out kids for welfare money and ran with it. I feel bad for Paycheck and Paycheck Jr. but they are no relation to me, I have never seen them in person, and you can’t save every puppy in the pound.

And she has pretty much destroyed her own life. I offered her love and support, and I tried like hell to make the relationship work, but it seems I was the only one trying, which isn’t the first or last time it went that way.

Don’t go into a relationship thinking you can change someone, fix them, or just simply “make it work”. The person may have no intention of contributing to the relationship, no matter what they say. It seems women want to be constantly entertained and excited, even when it puts them and others in dangers, and is obviously against their best interest, IE women dating thugs, rapists, etc.

[Soul ManParticipant 1856]

Well…all I can say is I’ve never had anyone damage me the way this one did.  I’ve had more women than I can keep count in my lifetime.  Most just flings…a couple of serious girlfriends that sucked when they were over….but….the last one just haunts my psyche to this day.  She was “the one” that finally snapped something inside of me that I can’t fix.  We have a beautiful little boy who is the singular joy of my life.  But that means every week I have to be reminded of her betrayal and treachery and the foolish love I have had for her.  It’s literally a death by 1,000 cuts to my soul.  Why her?  Why now?  I was a hardcore poon dog before she came along…

F~~~…I’ve had a really bad day today.  I hope tomorrow is better.

HISTORY...learn from it, memorize it, DON'T repeat it...

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

Soul Man wrote:

We have a beautiful little boy who is the singular joy of my life.

Exactly right.  From what I have read, she gave so much more than she took.  Someday, hopefully soon, you will make peace with it all.

Thanks for posting your story, bro.  I hope it helps.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

RedHeadedStranger wrote:

Hey Cap285,  Amazing post.  ……I think i’ll get a tshirt made with the saying you have at the bottom of your posts about the wall.  its badass.

Cap is true MGHOW Veteran and it’s funny you guys picked up on The Wall™ (quote in his signature) which is a play on words from Arnold Schwarzennegger’s original Terminator. I also liked it so much, he – and that quote – was the direct inspiration for our “The Wall” HD trailer which we created and dedicated to him. And we even named the archives (“the wall” of videos etc) because of it. It was an instant MGHOW classic.

It’s Caps’ personal star on the MGTOW walk of fame.

/video/the-wall/

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

I appreciate that. I just try to contribute as best I can. Thank you.

I saw somebody use that quote on YouTube recently. As Popp says, spread it far and wide.

Fuck this planet.

[BeatenDownParticipant 1]

Women are praying mantis.  They use the male to produce offspring.  Then they kill and eat the male that just impregnated them.

[dee_nmi_ceeParticipant 13]

I could right a novel about the first ex-wife but I’ll break it down to the smiley bits.

After twenty years of marriage she was popped for a DUI at three AM on a Tuesday in 2010 and had the janitor from her work in the car with her. The janitor was cut loose and yelled nothing but, “THANK YOU, OFFICERS!” as he quickly walked home.

As details emerged, she admitted to having an affair with the janitor as well as a few other guys. She had begged the janitor to let her move in but he refused and told her, “That ain’t what this is about”. She actually cried when she told me about that.

A few years earlier we were about to close on a house when she backed out at the last second. I very nearly lost my escrow money, had the seller and I not been haggling a bit over the price I would have lost the money. Now that the marriage was ending I asked why she backed out on the deal. She smiled and said she figured I would put the deed in my name only. I looked at her dumbfounded and and asked if she knew what “community property” was. She didn’t, I explained the concept and made her understand that (most likely) she would have been awarded the house or I might have had to pay her for half. She got this shocked look that suggested she believed me and that she was going to get confirmation of the concept from her f~~~ buddies the next time she saw one of them.

On our twenty-second anniversary, I picked up the forms for an uncontested divorce. She happily signed them and soon announced that she was moving in with a girl she knew from her high school days. I wished her well and had her go through the house picking out what ever she wanted and told her that if she decided later she wanted anything else she could probably have that too. She just rolled her eyes and laughed.

On the day of our court date she failed to show. The judge gave me the divorce, I collected the documents, took them home, scanned that stuff into the computer and posted them on facebook. Kinda white trashy? Yeah, probably but it felt good at the time.

I was a little sad to see my marriage end but I took solace in the fact that she and I would both be happy in our newly found and mutually desired freedom. However, she began to drive by the house constantly with a sad look on her face. After a few weeks of this I asked my daughter, in frustration, “What the hell is your mom’s problem!?! My God! What did she tell about this!?!”.

My sweet, wonderfully naïve twenty-something daughter just shrugged and said, “I dunno, dad. Mom would just smile and say, ‘Well, he might have filed for divorce but he’ll NEVER go through with it!’ “. Bam! I understood now why she had no problem giving me an uncontested!

Care to guess which of us is now the bitter party talking about how they were “tricked” out of everything in the divorce? It ain’t this old cowboy!!!

[YAZParticipant 140]

I’m currently at the tail end of a major back issue…herniated discs and some cervical spondylosis…..tail end of my leave of absence from work anyway…..I’ll be dealing with it for the rest of my life.  Won’t have much time to post lengthy stuff anymore but Y’all will still get the occasional bulls~~~ from me now & then….

 

I’ll give you some background….

 

Did the dating game for over two decades.  No kids and never got married.  Well, until a few days before I turned 41.  I was a party animal.  Gentlemen, I wanted to f~~~ ’em all.  I was addicted to pussy.  (Still like pussy).  Officially engaged once, lived with a whore once.  I worked a s~~~load of hours and put myself through college.  Most of my relations~~~s were done within 90 days.  I liked drinking and I liked f~~~ing.  I knew by the time I was 30 that I didn’t want kids.  Golf was much more rewarding.

Born & raised in Michigan, I received a very cool job offer in Arizona.  I was 40 years old and looking for adventure.  I wanted something “new.”  Besides, the good pussy in my hometown was either already taken or I already had it.  Sold my home, packed up my s~~~, and moved to Phoenix.

 

Call it my mid-life crisis ifya want…..but I KNEW this is what I wanted and it was gonna be fun….

 

Four months in…and I met a woman.  Well, I met a few others before that and we f~~~ed.  It was good.

 

But this one had a nice curvy ass and t~~~ too.  And she gave head.  Everything I wanted:  Independent, good job, had her s~~~ together.   My family loved her too.  We married in 2005, and like every marriage….ups & downs along the way.  Yeah, marriage is a roller coaster ride for sure.  So much s~~~ going through my head right now so I’ll try to use some brevity…cut to the chase….so to speak….

 

2011.  Her stepfather died and we decided that it was a good idea for her to go back “home” to be with family and I would stay behind and take care of the dogs.  Not to mention that I had just started a kick-ass money making helluva job six weeks prior.  It was a good plan.

 

She got f~~~ed up in the hotel bar every night that she was away.  Spent at least one night with a free c~~~ in HIS hotel room the night before the funeral.  (Any man that wants to know how I found out is encouraged to ask).  I was p~~~ed off.  Six months of hell followed at home….and I managed to control my anger the whole time……an occasional snippet from my potty mouth would escalate things once in a while, but for the most part…I was in control.  Can one imagine if I f~~~ed a whore when I was away to attend my father’s funeral?  No.  “Cuz I wouldn’t do that.  I was attending to matters.  I spent a week on family’s and friend’s couches.  It sucked.

That was when I decided I am a MGHOW.  I’ll enjoy myself along with reaping the wonderful rewards of being married.   I golfed, I fished, I hiked the mother f~~~ing Grand Canyon.  Without her.  I’m a bad ass cook too.  BBQ is my forte, but I’m pretty f~~~ing good in the kitchen too.  I learned at a fairly young age that pizza and Mickey-Dees ain’t yer best options….20+ years of being a “bachelor” has served me well….

 

On to 2014….she pronounces that she wants a divorce.  Friday night; after a whole week of toil…she springs it on me.  She’s drunk, and so am I.  She recedes to the home office; I proceed to get more f~~~ed up on the patio….. poolside.  She goes to bed….I go to the office in my drunken state.  There it is…..she left her Facebook page open.  Chat function.  Painfully obvious that she’s f~~~ing a dike.  Incredible.  I leave.  Got a room close by and figured that I’d come back in the morning…..cool off…so to speak.

 

She moved her dike girlfriend in overnight.  I was f~~~ed.  I am out of doors, gentlemen.  I’m homeless. Put all of your fantasies aside for  a moment, because this dike that moved in was a 240 pounder.  Uglier than sin.

I have no idea how I stayed out of jail when these events unfolded, so I’ll give our God some credit.  So…..I continued to be a the best gentleman that I was raised to be…..

 

The bitch moved out with her dike lover eventually.  I cleaned up the mess.  My house now.

 

Follow me around these forums and I’ll share what the vagina owners do…..

Whore Magnet

[idaveParticipant 9]

Well guys, I’m a straight up guy, maybe an Uber guy. Had a great family and extended family growing up, great male and female role models. I was a smart kid that jumped ahead a year in school, 9 letter man in track and field in HS. My goal was to get into West Point. I was a runner up. I haven’t until recently been a day between jobs since I was 13 yrs/old. Why now? I just retired at 55 with a significant pension for life. I served from 17-21 in the Army, high speed, Special Forces operator. Always stayed in the Army after active duty, 21 years, Infantry, Drill Sergeant, Lanes Trainer. When I got out of active duty, President Reagan fired the air traffic controllers and I got a job and after 33 years retired. I know I’ve been high speed most of my life, Alpha Dog guy. But that great upbringing made me a stand-up straight arrow. I loved the military life, but, the money didn’t pay the bills, so I went part time. I was feeling a little too ate up and dark after active duty, thought I should settle down, get a good job, start a family. I’ve always been the black sheep/over achiever in my extended family. I look back and see how immature and naive I was back then, but back then, I wasn’t reachable. I knew everything and had all the answers. I married the first pretty girl I met that came from a good family, sweet, religious; but wanted to get out from under all her family repression. I save things, fix things, succeed by force of will and hard effort. We got pregnant and had our first of three daughters that first year. I’m old school, do everything like all my role models growing up. Had to teach my wife to cook, clean, do laundry, tend kids.

 

Well life was always good, I’m making great money, working two careers. I’m never out with the boys, I come home to be the good husband and Dad. I’m the guy that kisses his wife good morning, kisses her off to work I go, kisses her when I get home and good night. I loved being a Dad, the middle of the night floor walker and feeder, background in medicine as a specialty from the military as my extra specialization. The wife? gorgeous, trophy type, I’m so proud. She’s extroverted, but a bit of a hypochondriac. I deal and make happy for 17 years. I’m invested in our future, two pensions in my future, college funds for three daughters, money in the bank, paid for cars, handling the mortgage, no credit debt. Crazy in love with my wife after 16 years of marriage and doting Dad. We never had an argument, always civil discussions. Pillars of the Church, social circle of friends, extended family on both sides love us and we help everybody if problems arise. She decides she’d like to get into politics, helping with campaigns. We’re conservative Republicans, the big dinners in the state and county. I can’t officially run for office, but I help several big state and national campaigns. The wife works with me. My wife wants to run for state representative. I buy in; my thinking, I been the heavy lifter, she been on the sidelines and the shadows. My plan at the time was retire at 46 yrs/old. She runs and wins, starts being a politician. Six months after taking office, my oldest daughter tells me she thinks Mom’s having an affair. I think it’s pretty funny, so I’ll talk to the wife about it and put her fears to bed.

Well shock of my life, yes she’s having an affair and wants a divorce. She was always sweet and spoke well as in educated. All of a sudden, she’s a gutter mouth and I’m a pig and disgusting. I’m 38, she’s throwing me over for a 26 year old, that lives with his parents and is 300 pounds. He’s a night time security guard at a warehouse. A real poufta with stringy long blonde hair. Me, I’m 38 buff, 175 lbs. After 15 months, I’m divorced. Paying child support, alimony, the mortgage and utilities for 5 years. My oldest, lives with me and the court doesn’t count her as a dependent, just the two younger girls that are 6 and 8. She gets all the bank accounts and my military pension. I’m making $150 thousand plus, now living on $26 thousand. lost the house, the furnishings, one vehicle and she doesn’t work. I asked her why at the end, I’m stupid and can’t put it together. She tells me, when I met you, I knew you’d be a great husband, provider and Dad. You were a safe bet! I never liked, never mind loved you. You screwed everything up by finding out and I couldn’t live the lies anymore. I wanna live, drink, f~~~ and have a good time. Turns out, 17 years of marriage, 21 affairs the last 13 years. I’m a sap, a cuckold and an enabler.

 

I’m not going to lie, I was rocked hard, started falling apart. Never feared a thing in life, now I live in mortal fear of this woman I loved and was married to. Court was supposed to justify me, I hadn’t done anything wrong. I was Mister squeaky clean, straight arrow. Three days in divorce court, Mister Teflon with her lawyer. She admits to affairs, stealing from household accounts, how she mistreated my oldest daughter after outing her to me. The Judge is a male, liberal. I remember the look he gave me, when my lawyer talked of my government service and military background and career. The many civic and church things I was involved with. He looked at me like I was a bug that needed to be crushed and exterminated. We appealed to the NH Supreme court because of his harsh and excessive orders, more than my wife was asking for. I was truly screwed and feeling like a criminal not incarcerated. My hands and feet felt handcuffed and shackled. I never demeaned her to the kids, had 60% of the custody of the younger girls and 100 % of the eldest. I was $ 70 thousand in debt in two years, trying to give the kids a basic life style. I paid for everything, clothes, medical and dental, christmas. She didn’t buy anything for the kids. Spent it all on herself, had a big party and several boyfriends over three years. Trips, vacations what ever her whim. She also drank. After three years, she took me back to court for more as the alimony period was up. I bought in the expense reports, showed the time and things I contributed to my kids. The Judge couldn’t care less, Alimony extended another three years and cost of living adjustments. I had to give up the military career as my custody was weekends, so I was working for cash under the table, bouncing at a strip club and doing construction at night in good weather, plowing snow in the winter for a contractor. It was never enough to just barely get by. My eldest daughter in high school started working full time and also part time in addition to school at 16. 60 hour work weeks and school and an honor graduate. Taking the burden off me to assist her sisters. Quite a kid and my steel strength during all this post divorce time.

How did it end? 2003, my Ex had become a full blown alcoholic by then and was reported to the school for picking up my youngest daughters while drunk on school grounds and almost running some other kids over. Shortly thereafter, she was taken from home three separate times to the emergency room for alcohol poisoning. Her family intervened and asked me to go to court and they would back me to sue for total custody. The Judge had retired, we had a new Judge and she was a woman. We went to court and she looked at the records for 10 minutes. She awarded me full custody and canceled all payments of child support and alimony. The Ex, got the house. She had to sell because she lost me as her primary income and made $180 thousand in equity. The Ex, then rapidly declined, had two DUI’s and spent time in jail. In March 2005, she took her own life, penniless and with debt of $30 thousand. Tough on the kids and me, but also good for me. I got all the kids through school, bought a new home and put two through college. I got myself back on track and was able to retire in May 2015. I’ve had several relationships over the years. It always comes down to what I can do for them in one way or another. I canceled them and have decided, I’m worth something and don’t need help from women to live and find happiness in life. I mentor young men now on career choices and how to be good men and lead good lives. My daughters all now adults, are close and are pursuing their own lives. I have an 11 yr/old grandson that I spend a lot of time with.

 

But during the bad years and times, I withdrew from my extended family, mostly out of embarrassment and shame. I do everything for myself, had to become a Dad and Mother to my kids and make things happen and work. I don’t know why and give credit to my kids, but no bad crowds, no drugs, no alcohol. They chose good paths and I’m lucky for their choices. My youngest at 24 still lives with me, my house mouse! My 26 and 33 year olds, have there own lives and careers and they are strong independent women. I couldn’t be prouder of them and they give great meaning to my life.

However, there were many tough times and I almost cracked several times. I know I’m unusually strong and resilient of purpose and spirit. I have spent a good deal of time pondering my life and lessons over the years. At every turn I try to offer advice, councilling and mentorship ship to young people, but especially men on how to make good choices, remain strong and do the right things. I’m here guys for you or anyone that needs help. I made it, got over the top, survived! I’m not a know it all, but I have done much to rise up and succeed. I’m not asking for anything, but I’m offering, whatever I can that could help 1, 10, 100 or a 1000 men through the maze of dealing with women and staying strong and having successful lives and how you can do it by yourselves. We are all brothers and times have changed. Those of us who can, must help those of you that follow!

[Sessna12Participant 119]

These are very touching stories. Three of them sound like they belong in a straight up horror film. My heart goes out to you guys and your children. Glad you are still here to share your stories.

Sebastian

"We can no more stop him from marrying than we can stop him from making a well researched decision to poke his eyes out with a stick."
-Sidecar

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