Divorce Stories /Therapy /NoHoldsBarred

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

Tell your divorce story here.  It will be therapeutic for me to talk about mine, because I haven’t in awhile.  If you’d like to share yours, please join the conversation.

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

I skipped my first 2 ex wives and got married when I was 28.  She was 24.  We were married for a year before she became pregnant.  When my daughter was 1 and healthy, I got a vasectomy.  We only wanted 1.  In 2008, my daughter was 4 and the economy crashed.  I work as an oilfield engineer, so I traveled from rig to rig doing gamma logs and data collection/interpretation/presentation, etc.  I was due for a big promotion in March of 2009, it was already done, I was just finishing up the project I was working on before starting on the new track.  On March 3rd, I was called into the office.  We were excited as we drove up together.  I was already making over 200k and was looking to make even more.  The company had been laying off a lot of people, so I was secretly worried that they were going to lay me off too.  I didn’t let her know I was worried.  I had seniority in my department, and I thought worse-case would be that I’d have to wait on the promotion.  I was wrong.

We had enough money saved to live on for a few years, if it took that long to get back to work (it took 1 year).  It was her last semester of college.  She was graduating summa in finance.  Her dad and step-mom worked in finance in the oil industry.  I had paid her way through, and she graduated without any debt.  We had a great looking future.

Forward SEVEN DAYS and TEN HOURS after I was laid off.  March 10, 2009.  We went to dinner and had a few drinks.  We came home and paid the babysitter to leave, she was wearing a black dress, heels, diamond pendant, etc.  She tiptoe kissed me when the door shut.  Then, mid-kiss, she pulled away.  I guess she was caught up in the moment.  This is where I begin quoting her word for word.  She said “We have to talk.”  I said, “OK, whatsup?”  She said “I’m gay.” I said, “What?” She said “I’m gay.”  I just looked at her.  Then she said the words I’ll never forget.  “I don’t love you anymore, and I haven’t loved you for a long time.  The only reason I’ve been with you this long is because of the money.  Now that’s gone, there’s no reason for me to stay.”  I just looked at her, thinking ‘what?’.  She picked up her keys and purse, and walked out the door.  She came back the next day to get our daughter.

She had been cheating on me while I travelled.  She was sucking internet pussy while I was away.  Turns out that internet lesbians don’t think too much of married women cheating on their hubbies with them.  They want relationships, not flings.  I was severely limiting her options.  So when the money stopped, so did she.

I am the one to blame here.  I shouldn’t have married her.  I married her, and I got what I deserved.  Now I am glad she is gone.  I miss my family, but I don’t miss her.  I just see the life we could have had as a family, the life I could have given my daughter, and that’s what really kills me.

It turns out that she is not really gay.  She followed the ‘L-Word’ fad straight onto the internet, then when the show was cancelled, and she wasn’t into chicks anymore, she hopped back onto the same dick carousel on which I found her.  Like I said, it was my fault.  I was naïve.

Maybe if I had known of Briffault’s Law I wouldn’t have had the vasectomy.  Perhaps I would have let her incur debt.  Perhaps I would have seen the signs.  Hindsight, eh?

Hindsight also tells me that I am a better man now than I was then.  When I went back to work, my grandmother asked me if she would take me back now that I have a job.  I looked straight at my grandmother, who is a very traditional christian woman, and said, “Grandma, I wanted a wife. Not a whore.”

I married a whore.

[FreeGhostSpectator 318]

Your fault? She lied to you at least twice, you did nothing wrong. Women are master manipulators, it is incredibly difficult to decipher which (very minute percentage) are truly honest. My condolences brother.

[JinParticipant 77]

Wow, she was a straight gold digger. At least you’ve learned from your mistake, and you are a better man now.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"

[RoyDalParticipant]

Yep, we spot our mistakes, learn from them, make appropriate course corrections, and we go on. MGTOW.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Mover1799Participant 58]

Jeezes man I just do not know how some women could do that, when a man puts in the effort…I tried the marriage thing, never again man, there is just something f~~~ up in our current society to where men and women cannot be monogamous

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

Well I partly touched on my divorce/relations~~~ story in my intro but I did not tell all as I was trying to keep from taking a few pages. Since you shared I thought you might like to hear others tales of woe.

I want to start by saying that I realize I was a huge blue pill mangina white knight so please don’t hold that against me now.

Unfortunately in my case I cannot talk about the divorce independent from the rest of the relationship because it is all tied together from the beginning. I met her in High School and she was actually my first Girlfriend as well. Looking back on it I see all the signs I could have ever asked for but was too stupid “In Love” and uneducated in the ways of women to ever know how stupid I was. Firstly I was dating down on the social ladder as expected and she was dating up. Not that I come from money or anything but her mother was constantly on welfare and section 8 etc so when you are at the bottom it does not take much to be a large step up.

I had been told tales that she had been raped earlier on in life etc, and while we were dating before we ever started having sex she screwed another guy and I forgave her. Like I said stupid, anyway after a series of things that should have driven me away but didn’t she got pregnant. I was 22 at the time and was still a foolish blue pill. I asked her to marry me and we did get married. For the first 2 years everything seemed pretty great and I actually did enjoy being married though it was through the lens of the blue pill. Then she got pregnant again and by this time we were starting to have some problems but I did not know how far they had gone. After our second child came she claimed depression and said that she needed her space. She was working overnight at a Hotel and had virtually nothing to do with our second son.

This went on for about a year and things were not getting better, we were fighting and she was never home and never kept any commitments she made to me. We even had one fight where she “caught” me watching pornography which had never been a problem before and threatened to take the kids and leave. She told me that the courts would side with her no matter what because she was the woman. I begged her to stay and promised to change and she stayed for a while but eventually said that she needed her space and got an apartment and strung me along telling me that it would be best for our relationship. She took all the things she cared about to the apartment which I noticed did not include the things she had professed to care about prior to our marriage but was almost exclusively things she had supposedly bought me as gifts.

I had kept the children that night while she moved but she was supposed to come pick them up the next day so I could go to work. Naturally she did not make it and so I went to the apartment and got a key from the front desk as I had cosigned for it. As you might expect she was in bed with another man and I simply stood there what felt like forever while I contemplated whether or not I could murder them both and not get caught. In the end I decided I could not get away with it and woke her up, we had a heated conversation and I left with the children. She picked them up much later that day and kept them except for when she had to go in to work when I watched them. She expected me to be a baby sitter any time she wanted even if she did not let me know she would need me to watch them and even that caused a fight when one night that I had not had notice I would need to keep them I got a very p~~~ed off voicemail because “I was not helping at all.”

During this time I found out later she was out at all times and our kids were watched by random people. One day she tells me with about 3 days notice that she is flying to Oregon and that I will have to keep the kids because she is going there looking for a job. As far as I can figure she went there to be on her back for some guy she knew. This actually turned out to be a blessing for me. I was not making enough at the time to completely cover the cost of daycare and my parents both still worked so its not like I had anyone who could watch them all days of the week. I went to the local DHS and got on the daycare assistance program one of the stipulations being that I file for child support against her. As a side note I will mention that when I was sitting in the office with the dhs worker he ended up asking me about 3 times if I was only applying for the daycare assistance since in his words “I never get to do one of these independent from food stamps/wic/medical etc.”

She came back from Oregon with no job and mounting debt and lost the apartment. Around this time she also got fired for what I later found out was embezzlement and could not pay for her court costs and wound up with a bench warrant. We spent a year or so in a temporary divorce order and she apparently realized that she was failing even with the constant stream of people she was bilking of cash and appeared to be getting her life together. It was during this time that she started trying to repair her relationship with me and again all I can say is that I was a stupid blue pill because I let her do so. I let her move back with me and we stabilized her finances, and she got and held a job at a bar working nights which did not help the situation but for about 5 months things were seeming to go well. The old pattern of disappearing and never being reachable started showing up and she was never around for me at all again. A couple of months later I pretty much told her to get out and set a date for the finalized divorce hearing.

I told the lawyer to go for broke and ask for everything and give her as little as legally possible. On the court date she did not show up and I am guessing it had something to do with the bench warrant. The child support order that I had gotten against her was still in effect and became part of our divorce decree, I got full custody. She saw the kids for a while but I finally told her that unless the assholes she hangs around with were not with her she would not see them and she chose those assholes over her own children. She continues to fail at life and I am more than happy to leave her in the dust.

Well I think this is the most complete account I have given of my relations~~~ to date with anyone other than close friends.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

wow Lazarus.  I’m so glad you have the kids.  that bench warrant saved their futures.  good for you dude, seriously.  they say that living well is the best revenge.  I’m glad you didn’t get violent.  that’s hard to do man.  stay on the high road with your kids, and don’t talk s~~~ about her to them.  I assume you don’t; but I am tempted daily to tell my daughter some truths.  that won’t go away.  just wait until they are grown and out on their own before you lay it out for them.

I have a buddy in Denver with a similar situation.  She just completely went off the cliff into a life of self-destruction.  its so sad to see it happen to another family.

thanks for sharing your story, I hope sharing it was as therapeutic for you as it was for me to share mine.  hang tough dude, its a long row to hoe, but remember, you are cultivating 2 of the most important people who will ever live.  to that end, and if you haven’t yet, it is wise to take a parenting class, read about effective methods, and learn what to avoid.  I recommend ahaparenting.com to start.  they really helped me become a better dad.  (I’m not affiliated, and unsure if it’s ok to ‘plug’ a site here).

 

[Lazarus LongParticipant 365]

It was nice to share it especially when I first came onto the site. The one thing that really cemented this place to me was that I was able to share and no one judged what happened. I only got real connections, people had sympathy and understanding that is hard to find in the world.

This was several years ago now and I had been moving toward full red pill for about the last year (It took almost 3 years to quit being p~~~ed about it) and once I found this place it just clicked into place. I can say that was definitely when I finally released the last of the anger and pain because the world finally made sense. I figured out that probably the biggest reason for my anger and pain was that I had been trying to believe the lies about the world instead of believing what I knew to be true. As Terry Goodkind puts it “People will believe a lie because they want it to be true or they fear it to be true” and I really wanted the world that I was told existed to be true.

I can say that I do not talk my ex-wife down to my children though recently my youngest has started asking why he does not see his mother and all I can tell him is that she has made a choice. I will definitely check the site out. Thanks.

Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. -Terry Goodkind

[Ayam SiriasParticipant 24]

I married the unicorn Asian woman, in her own country. A stranger in a strange land. I converted to her religion of Islam, I learned her language, her culture her ways. I tried to fit in. I embraced her family while my own family was thousands of miles away. After 6 months of marriage she was pregnant with my child. I worked 12 hour days to make her happy and comfortable while she stayed home which was her choice. While she was pregnant I noticed a change. She became physically and emotionally abusive. I frequently would call her mother in the middle of the night to come to our house, pleading her to talk some sense into her daughter. (My wifes father had already passed away). Her mother would come to our house and see me covered in bruises, bite marks and scratches. She had no idea how to handle the situation. Months later I had a beautiful baby boy and it was the happiest moment of my life when I witnessed his birth. 5 years later, with frequent violent outbursts from her in between, I decided to take her back to Canada to give her a chance at a life she might not have had before. After 2 months in Canada she said she wanted to go home. I said yes but needed to stay for another 4 months to finish a work contract. She left back to Indonesia with my son. 2 months later she sends me a long email saying she wants to divorce me. I finish my contract and fly back to Indonesia to repair what damage may have happened in my marriage. It was useless. She was convinced that it was over. I snooped and found she had been seeing other men while I was in Canada. I still tried to fix it. I hired counselors. During one session she looked the counselor in the eye and said. “I don’t love him. I never loved him.” She said this in front of my face. I walked out. Days later the counselor asked me to meet her. She said maybe I should give up and start looking to make changes because my wife obviously didn’t want to be with me any more. She left my house with my son and moved in with her parents. I held on to hope for 2 more years. She kidnapped my son to Bali. I tracked them down and after 2 months of searching I found them and managed to take my son back. I lost my house, my car, my life. I spent every other cent I had on expensive lawyers to make sure my divorce was final and my son was legally in my custody. I haven’t looked back. There are no unicorns. There are no NAWALT. Women are women all over the world. Be safe. Be wise. Be MGTOW.

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4353]

Few things can f~~~ up a man’s life like a woman can.Il get around to telling my story about my foreign born ex some time.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

Sirias, thanks for telling your story.  I’m  so damned glad you have your son.  She would have begun to abuse him sooner or later.  It cost you, but you saved him.  Gratz man.  I hope talking about helps.  And I hope others take heed of your advice, that women are women are women — no matter the country.  I think many men still cling to the hope that there is some magical country in some far away place (without cell phones and tindr) where women are sane.  I hope some of those men read your post.  Again, thanks dude.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

Well, you never really know a woman until you meet her in court. I heard for years that if we ever got divorced that it would be quick and cheap and she didn’t want any of my stuff. The divorce papers said otherwise. I have to pay her legal fees? I would only get supervised visitation one or twice a month? All this because of ‘irreconcilable differences’? (She cheated) and now she was going to yank my daughter out of the school system she had been in since 1st grade as she was going into 6th grade so she could go have her new life? Who gives a f~~~ who gets hurt in the process. Her step-father had the nerve to tell her that he didn’t cheat with her mom and now is pulling the “we’re a family” s~~~. She frequently needs to vent as her mom badgers her all the time that she doesn’t hug him or call him dad, etc. I explained to her that during the separation/divorce, he wouldn’t have gave two s~~~s if you were in 50 schools (the ex moved about 4 times) as long as your mom kept the pussy rolling in. Her entire argument in court was that she was going to prove what an asshole I was and surely, she’d get custody and her way. Well, not even a lawyer who does this sort of thing for a living can tell someone who thinks they know everything what to do. Her first lawyer seemed like a decent old guy (for a lawyer) who told her she was asking for too much for the situation. She quickly s~~~ canned him and got another. Did I mention she treated him and his staff like s~~~?

On to the next lawyer who I believe just let her do what she wanted so he could make the most amount of money. She shows up in court with 6 boxes that reams of paper come in. Six. Filled with paperwork to prove what an asshole I was. Well, when a child is involved, the court only cares about said child’s welfare. Not who the asshole or cheater was. More on this later. Long story short: she hung herself on the stand and my lawyer kept feeding her rope. My buddies were there all 2 1/2 days I was in court and they told me she had frequent meltdowns and the judge saw every one of them. She actually yelled at her lawyer after the second day because she thought it would be done and was p~~~ed she had to come back again. According to my sister, who is a judge/lawyer, these types of outbursts and behavior are not appreciated in court. After the second day, her lawyer got together with mine and said that she hung herself and that we won and need to come to an agreement. Did I mention she treated her second lawyer and his staff life s~~~? So, for in upwards of $10k, she basically gave up. I got custody and child support and my daughter got to stay in school with her friends while she moved an hour away and saw her every other weekend for two years while my daughter was becoming a young lady. The court had a guardian ad litem come in for my daughter. The freakin’ c~~~ ex had the nerve to say I was making this cost more than necessary and dragging it out when it could have been over at a lawyers office for the $2k retainer. Excuse the s~~~ out of me for worrying about our only child’s welfare.

That was October, 2010.

October, 2009:
We had been separated for 5 months(after she gave me the divorce papers on our anniversary) and I was playing video games minding my own business. For those of you that don’t know, I knew she had cheated but never went after the guy…until that day. She shows up at the door with my daughter saying she needs $60 of her money for some reason.

Caps note: Once she left, she apparently couldn’t pay her rent or buy coffee or cigarettes. She asked her mom for money to which she replied “I thought Cap was the cause of all your money problems? What’s your excuse now?” Funny how the guy she was f~~~ing wouldn’t shell out the cash for the people he claimed to ‘care’ about. Fight ensues because her mom wouldn’t give her money, you know the drill.

So I tell her f~~~ you, I’m not giving you the kids money, have Mr. Wonderful give you the money. She literally stamped her feet like a kid having a tantrum because I wouldn’t give her the money. I s~~~ you not. As I escort her to the door, I notice that her boyfriend had driven her there. Well, you can only disrespect me so much. I snapped. I yank him out of the car and proceed to give him repeated blows to his stomach. The instant she took out her phone and tried to call the cops I yanked it out of her hand and smashed it. No help is coming. Time for your boyfriend to ‘man up’. I didn’t go for the knockout or kill. I went for pain. Only hit his face once: one shot in the nose, enough to make him bleed and choke on his own blood. Rammed his head into his car door. When I let him go, he fell on his back. I then stomped him in the gut. Now, he can’t get air and is choking on blood. I pick him and put him in a choke hold. I tell the ex if you two don’t fess up to the entire cheating thing, I’m going to choke him until he changes colors. She actually let me choke him for a good long while until she finally admitted it. That’s what it took for her to tell the truth (that everybody knew anyway) beating and choking her boyfriend. I left him in a bloody heap at my feet. “That’s what you left me for?” My only regret is that my daughter saw me go full on military on this sap. She didn’t need to see that.

This is relevant to her definition of what a ‘real man’ is. A ‘real man’ lives on his own, has a good car and can take care of himself. Apparently, that means living with your mom rent free (while she cleans up the mess you made from making your lunch in the morning), driving a s~~~ box car and messing around with married women. I.E. tingles. Make no mistake lurkers, the gina tingles negate everything a woman says she ever wanted or believed in. I’m Catholic. For years, she mocked my religion, the Pope, etc. Turns out this guy is too and she wanted to convert and my daughter as well after a lifetime of being Lutheran. Remember how I said she thought she knew everything? Well, the Catholic church frowns upon cheating and children being born out of wedlock. So, when their first child was born (yes, she’s having more kids at 40) the Catholic church told them no way on a baptism. Oh well, back to being Lutheran. Also, for years she had said Mexicans stare and rape white girls. Well, this guy is Mexican. I wonder if she says that at his family get togethers. Mexicans are rapists and f~~~ the Catholic church. Guess how well that would get over? Also, I guess real men get drunk and crash the car or stay out all night with their friends. By that time, she would’ve have looked like an idiot for leaving the guy and just had to deal with it. Again, lurkers, the tingles negate all.

Myself, and other MGTOW have said that women have no code, honor, morals, use sex to extract material goods, etc. Yet women ignore countless personal stories of the opposite. For years, I was accused of cheating. Once I was even accused of running around with hookers (To which my buddy left a message in his best Huggy Bear impression and much hilarity ensued). “Once a cheater always a cheater” was her mantra. Guess it didn’t apply to her. Typical female “Do as I say not as I do” s~~~. My daughter just started dating. The basement at her moms house has a futon, TV, Xbox and is her little area. Her mom has told her that she’s not allowed down there with her boyfriend because “that’s how girls get pregnant” and “sex is only for reproduction”. Really? I wonder if her husband is aware of this and if that’s what she told him when she started cheating? Bold face hypocrisy and double standards they don’t even know they have. F~~~ing mental illness. Also, Miss preachy got knocked up before they were married and was at the courthouse 7 months pregnant, what a great example. Now that she’s got the ring; she back to a mortgage, car payments and bitching that he doesn’t help with the chores. With a second kid on the way, this bastard is trapped and is on the hook for 18 years of child support for two kids. She won’t f~~~ that up again.

When you see people here saying not to resort to violence when you’ve been cheated on….listen to them. I’m still getting legal bills in the mail and it’s 5 years later. I felt good for 5 minutes but I’ve been paying for it for 5 years. In the divorce trial, my lawyer brought up the fact that she had cheated but slightly mispronounced the guys name. So she said she didn’t cheat so technically, she didn’t perjure herself. So fast forward to the assault hearing for the beating I dished out. They figure they can nail on me this, except they forgot to factor in why I did it in the first place. As I said earlier, she hung herself as usual. The judge asked why I would do this and she said she didn’t know. Lie. So, my lawyer and the judge talked her into a corner where she admitted to cheating. The judge mentioned in the divorce hearing that she denied cheating. Oops. Perjury. Between that, my veteran status and having a clean record my entire life, I got off easy. Granted, the judge told me you can’t act that way, we have laws, etc. But she really laid into them. It was beautiful: “You’re both a couple of cheaters. What did you expect him to do?”

Mind you, this is but a fraction of my marriage and divorce. A drop in the sea. After all that, you figure you’ll try and start dating again…and we all know how that turns out. Post wall women looking for the next sucker to give them the white picket fence and all that other bulls~~~. Or post wall women who have been a dating sited for 6 years and still haven’t found Mr. Right. I looked at POF recently. A girl I dated in the summer of 2009 is still on there. Only now, she’s older and fatter. She actually put “a few extra pounds” in the description. Another who’s been on there for six years is bitching “what’s wrong with these waters?” As usual, it’s us. Not these old hags with out of control entitlements. What they fail to realize is that men know who they are, want they want and have exhausted all of their options. Did they really not find anyone in six years on multiple dating sites in a 100 mile radius of the Chicagoland area? Really? What’s funny is that over on YouTube, there are women still running their yaps about how MGTOW is a cult, religion, etc. One I’m arguing with now actually believes we get paid to do this. Yes, you read correctly. We’re paid ‘trolls’ to ruin relationships between men and women. Her problem? Why, men aren’t courting women and giving them free s~~~ and attention. She has yet to confess any wrong doing by women. We’re just ‘little boys’ and ‘brats’ who fail with women because we won’t give up our financial resources and sanity.

I’ve said online dating is an asylum where you voluntarily commit yourself. I guess YouTube is the same. I just can’t sit idly and not warn other men what could happen to them if they choose to interact with women. I would be a disservice to my fellow man. Nor can I tolerate women’s bulls~~~ and manipulation to get their own way. I think MGTOW’s my age are born out of bad divorces and relationships. I’m seeing many younger MGTOW’s born because they simply can’t win and that many environments are toxic for males. Couple that with the fact that really is no reward for marriage, only servitude and debt so they choose to make life enjoyable for themselves….and we know how much women like us having fun. I’ve had to nerve to bitch for several paragraphs when I know of MGTOW’s who are divorced and haven’t seen there kids since then. I simply can’t imagine not having my daughter for the past 6 years. I don’t know how they deal with their kids being stolen. I just don’t. It’s wrong and my heart goes out to them. My marriage (and many others) was separation from my friends, loss of hobbies, playing hockey under protest, not being allowed to train at the gym, selling my Star Wars stuff, selling my guns, endless chores, being told I dress like a gym teacher (while she dressed and had the haircut of a school teacher), not being entitled to cent I earned or a nanosecond of my free time. All this for what? Missionary sex once a month and the begrudged birthday BJ? Short hair and granny panties? So, women have yet to explain why I should do this once, let alone twice?

Because vagina.

You have no power here. I will not give up my free will for a 5 second orgasm. Your company is overrated. Love is drug no different than smoking a joint. If you are trapped in a burning car, I will watch the flesh melt off your face. This is what it’s come to, and if you think I woke up this way, you obviously didn’t read what I just wrote.

Passive aggressive acceptance of evil is not a virtue.

Fuck this planet.

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

Hey Cap285,  Amazing post.  I don’t even know what to say, man.  ‘cept maybe thanks for taking the time to lay it out there.  I’m glad you beat the f~~~ out of that worm.  sorry your daughter saw it, that’s gotta be rough on you.  one time, I was about to kick a guys ass, but I looked over at my daughter and decided not to do it.  she was 8.  she said, ‘dad, why didn’t you do anything?’ that was/is still tough on me.  I told her, I did do something; I decided he wasn’t worth hurting.  but still, I wish I had beat the f~~~ out of him.  this is not about me though, sorry.  I am glad that you got custody bro.  it seems that most of us are good fathers, which makes sense I guess because we care about justice and morality.

I think i’ll get a tshirt made with the saying you have at the bottom of your posts about the wall.  its badass.

[Cap285Participant 6007]

RedHeadedStranger wrote:

Hey Cap285, Amazing post. I don’t even know what to say, man. ‘cept maybe thanks for taking the time to lay it out there. I’m glad you beat the f~~~ out of that worm. sorry your daughter saw it, that’s gotta be rough on you. one time, I was about to kick a guys ass, but I looked over at my daughter and decided not to do it. she was 8. she said, ‘dad, why didn’t you do anything?’ that was/is still tough on me. I told her, I did do something; I decided he wasn’t worth hurting. but still, I wish I had beat the f~~~ out of him. this is not about me though, sorry. I am glad that you got custody bro. it seems that most of us are good fathers, which makes sense I guess because we care about justice and morality.

I think i’ll get a tshirt made with the saying you have at the bottom of your posts about the wall. its badass.

Thanks. You did do the right thing. You don’t have legal fees coming in years later and you set a good example for your daughter.

That quote is just doctored from The Terminator. Post a picture of the shirt if you have it made.

Fuck this planet.

[DarthWParticipant 70]

Thanks for sharing guys.  Thanfully, I never did marry, but I was definitely a blue piller up until the last few years.  Maybe it was my 35+ years that gave me a little more wisdom (when I started really thinking maybe I ought to look at getting married) that made me start questioning the women I was dating who showed similar signs of self-destruction, and poor choices, and bitchiness.  Course the first one I ended a relationship with I thought “that is just her”, then the next one had similar issues, and then the next and next.  After a few serious relationships with women who seemed to only care about getting my money, my work, and my time, while she gave little and claimed she was some type of a relationship expert who knew better than I how a relationship should work simply because she was a woman.  The more I did the math, the more the equations in relationships showed the women would end up better off, and I would end up in Hell.

Your stories confirm what I feared back then, and remind me why.

 

[RoninParticipant 42]

Redheaded stranger and Lazarus, your blue pill haze is universal among divorced men. Redheaded stranger, your grandmother came from a different generation; before no fault divorce. Before 1969, if a woman wanted a divorce she had to show a valid reason such as abuse or infidelity. In addition you had the social stigma. They had a vested interest, or deposit, in the enterprise of marriage.

Today, as my ex did, they put no funds, no deposit, no interest into the marriage. Men risk everything and gain little from it. It means nothing when a woman says she married you; you are just waiting for the day when you must pay for her cash out and enjoy her life without you.

It is the ultimate get rich quick scam. Also I respect whores, at least they are honest from the start money for sex, no manipulation.

[Anonymous 9]

This s~~~ is disgusting.

I’d have a similar story had I married my so called high school sweetheart or whatever the f~~~ she was.

Most of us were probably considered blue pill at one point in time. But that’s all it is – time. A bunch of fleeting moments that we look back on with nostalgia. But if we’re honest with ourselves it wasn’t that great considering we’re on this site frequently sharing our experiences to hopefully warn others of what’s out there.

We needed something drastic to happen in waking us up; with divorce impacting the kids, as well as the couples themselves, a marriage which leads to divorce is probably the most drastic measure for awareness, but these stories are definite eye openers.

 

[KranitzParticipant 22]

Well I guess i might as well throw my story in here too. I had dated a few girls before I met my now ex-wife. They had all either dumped me for some abusive asshole, or turned out to be crazier than a s~~~house rat. I was getting a ride to work, and while another person was in the gas station we normally stopped at, she came out and asked me what was going on. I usually go into to grab whatever on my way to work, but I’m a shy, quiet guy, and not very talkative, and 99.999% NEVER approached by women. Well I asked some male-workers what to do, as she seemed like a nice girl, had a job, etc, and they said to give her my number. Well the next night I tried, but she gave me her’s instead. I was told this was a good sign, so we dated for a bit. The relationship progressed to me going over to her place right after work, which was completely new and very nice, as all my previous, and most relationships thereafter, were long distance. She never turned me down for sex, which in hindsight, should have been a warning sign, but I figured why look a gifthorse in the mouth. Well as time went on, I learned more about her crazy twin sister and her mother, and since I was still living at home, the only way I could get her out of that situation was to marry her. My relatives would have to let us stay there. I’m a massive idiot, I know.

My parents are not the nicest of people, so I have grown up quite sheltered, and have a myriad of mental issues, along with some physical ones, so I’m not the best at relationships. That being said, after her sister had dropped us off on the side of the road in an angry fit, I proposed to her. She said yes. And thus began another of my huge mistakes. She insulted my relatives after staying at my family’s home for a few months, which considering my strained relationship I could have cared less about, but they pressured us to move out after that. We got an apartment, and I was working 2-3 jobs to help with us stay above water. She ended up losing her job, and due to my various illnesses, I did too. Well we ended up at a shelter, since her mother wouldn’t take her in unless she divorced me, and even thou my relatives claimed they’d let me come back, I wasn’t going to leave her, she was my wife.

Well one day she ups and disappears, and I file a missing persons report. She is spotted in our home town with some guy in a green SUV, and her twin sister finally contacts me and tells me they found my wife and she wants to meet up with me. Well we meet up after her having been missing for several days, and I had been sick with flu and exhaustion in the hospital. As I sit there, she comes down off of a concoction of drugs I have never heard of before and since, and she comes to the realization she was raped by the two guys she ran off to a hotel room to get high with and hang out. I urge her to go to the hospital, get a rape kit, and file a police report. I also get to hear a replay of the events she can remember concerning the rape, which still haunts me to this day. I don’t know if the relationship will continue after this ,but we end up staying with her relatives, and then several friends over the course of the following month. She insist I return to my parents when we run out of people to stay with, and my job hunting leads nowhere. I reluctantly agree and she stays in a shelter, later finding out she was looking to ride the carousel the moment she stepped in the door. She gets a job babysitting a couple we had met in the shelter, and then ends up f~~~ing the husband while his wife is giving birth in the hospital to their fourth child. She drives over to tell me this, and we fight and argue, with her driving off again. She then starts hanging out with who I later discover to be a convicted felon, a child rapist at that. She finally leaves me for him, after I had tried to work things out between us. She has transformed into a soul less whore,more concerned about being excited than anything else. She finally comes to tell me all this, but insists on driving me and her new lover and his friend out to the woods, refusing to tell me otherwise. Looking back I expect that had intended to leave me out there after I flipped out, but I take everything calmly, which only enrages her as she speeds me back to my family’s house and drops me off.

She had agreed to pay for the divorce she wanted in the first place, but I ended up sighing multiple copies of the paperwork over the years, which she never ended up filing. I have only worked sporadically since then, so I haven’t had the money to file myself. Luckily thou, i was able to file as a destitute person, since I have normally have no income, and I finally filled out the paperwork, with the help of her twin sister, who seems a hair less crazy now. It took me around 7 years to get divorced, over the course of which she had three different kids with whichever man would sleep with her, and is living off welfare now according to her twin sister, and selling her body to a married cop on the side.

I have more tales from the trainwreck that is my life if anyone cares to listen.

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

Christ, Gendo, you said it right — its a goddamned trainwreck.  Sorry about your situation, but at least you are rid of her.  Hopefully, she stays the hell out of your life.  This chick is dangerous though, man.  I’d consider leaving the country before she sues you for child support and sends you to prison.

Seriously dude, run.  She is making her bed, don’t be the one to lie in it.

Thanks for sharing your story, I hope it helped you to tell it.  I hope someone reads it and learns from it.  Again, thanks for the post.

[Author]

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