Divorce – Advice?

[RegularJoughParticipant 258]

Had court today.

Honestly, it was too fast to process.

Her lawyer wanted between $200-$242 per week. I said no to all of it, and we saw the judge.

Judge only asked a few questions about my overtime, then said HE’D render a verdict.

I spoke so little, I’m not sure I conveyed enough about how overtime negatively effects my parenting time.

Well, I’ll let you guys know how it all goes, but I’m not feeling too confident right now. I had stacks and stacks of forms and papers and everything every online poster has ever said that could be useful, AND I NEEDED NONE OF IT.

Get this, this is how f~~~ed Massachusetts is. Years ago, I was a foster parent. My ex and I were paid $50 PER DAY to care for foster kids. Now, if I never even saw my kids, no custody or visitation, I’d pay the c~~~ $292 per week, and if her and her lawyer get what they want I’ll pay $242 per week. This state is saying my 50/50 custody arrangement has a monetary value of $50 PER WEEK.

That’s the cash value of a father, $50.

Even the chick handling our case before we saw the judge was shocked to see such a low number giving the 50/50 child care, even my ex said “whoa”. Yeah f~~~ing whoa, fatherhood is only worth $50 nowadays.

So, I have no idea what’s gonna happen now. I’m hoping for $170 per week, which is my straight time pay only. If not, I’ll be working overtime, 7 days a week, for the next ten years, or until I have a heart attack.

Shit tested, Brother approved.

[RegularJoughParticipant 258]

Just one more update, because I can’t sleep at all.

No matter what, I have to work overtime. Even if they don’t count it into my child support, my bills are too high to pay the minimum and make ends meet.

Not only that, I’m not sure why I even fought this AT ALL in the first place!! Even if I had custody of the kids and she was a “weekend mom”, ID STILL HAVE TO PAY HER $100 per week!!

There’s no escape from this, there is no end game, no “resolution”, nothing will work in my favor and all the prep work was for nothing. I got new clothes for court, pants shirts and ties. Tried to look my best, but there was no reason for it. Tried to “run the numbers”, tried to figure this out so maybe I’d have $5 to my name afterwards, all for nothing. There is no winning, and no losing, just getting screwed. 36 year old woman, works part time, and I worked 62 hours last week and I’m -$200 in my checking account.

Guys, I can’t keep this up. I know where this story goes, and I want no part of it. I can’t spend years being hollowed out, to work like a slave, to give everything and be left with nothing.

I just can’t do it.

Shit tested, Brother approved.

[Anonymous 3]

RegularJough,

I dont know what us going through your mind, but I worry.

Before you do something foolish, I want to make your options clear: everything is done by your consent only!

The law only works if people abide by the law.

You can simply sell everything and go to another country, starting life from fresh.
You can simply refuse to pay anything and go to jail. Instead of slaving for you ex you have the state sheltering you and feeding you.
You can sell everything and quit your job, becoming homeless until the law gives up on you.

While there is life, there is options. Just don’t think about taking your life. That would solve nothing.

[RegularJoughParticipant 258]

Anonymous wrote:

RegularJough,

I dont know what us going through your mind, but I worry.

Before you do something foolish, I want to make your options clear: everything is done by your consent only!

The law only works if people abide by the law.

You can simply sell everything and go to another country, starting life from fresh.
You can simply refuse to pay anything and go to jail. Instead of slaving for you ex you have the state sheltering you and feeding you.
You can sell everything and quit your job, becoming homeless until the law gives up on you.

While there is life, there is options. Just don’t think about taking your life. That would solve nothing.

Went to court after work today.

Judge decided I need to pay $200 per week.

I walked out and called a lawyer.

The lawyer was surprised both by the only issue being child support, and my level of preparation. Everything she asked for I have in triplicate. I’ll see her Wednesday. Either she’ll say I have a case, or I’m wasting my time trying to get lower than $200 a week.

I’m not going down without a fight.

Shit tested, Brother approved.

[OldBillParticipant]

RegularJough wrote:

I walked out and called a lawyer.

Now you’re getting a lawyer?

Your brothers here had been telling you to do that for six f~~~ing weeks but you knew better, didn’t you?

I hope she can help you. I also hope you’ll help men in the future by telling them to get a f~~~ing lawyer and not make the mistakes you did.

Good luck.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[RegularJoughParticipant 258]

Hey Old Bill, I can do math.

By the numbers, I’m getting off easy.

I could be forced to pay $242 or even more because she’s still “impoverished” at this income.

All I can think is that she’s lying.

It’s all good old bill, it’s temporary orders, this is not even part of the divorce yet. There’s still time, still hope.

Not only that, if I take this lawyer, I’m walking the path to pay for her lawyer as well.

Either way, I’ll be bankrupt. Lawyer, no lawyer, high child support or low, this is a end game for me.

There was and is NO mistakes I could make. I won’t get out of this, I won’t win, all I want to do now is hurt her bottom line. But really, all I can do is put off the inevitable.

Shit tested, Brother approved.

[RegularJoughParticipant 258]

And I’ll be sure to tell each and every one of you just how screwed I WILL STILL BE after the lawyer takes over.

I don’t have $50, but the lawyer fees, and hers, will cost at least a few thousand, so even if I “win” I’m still dead in the water.

See? No win, no matter what.

Shit tested, Brother approved.

[WA4SWJParticipant 366]

Once love is gone from her (if there ever truly was any) a divorce is just a business deal and the entire state and her lawyers are on her side ordering requirements against you. You must get a lawyer. Please listen to the advice given above. She doesn’t care about you. All she wants is out with maximum $$$$ from the business deal. Sorry and the best of luck!

Ed

[RegularJoughParticipant 258]

WA4SWJ wrote:

Once love is gone from her (if there ever truly was any) a divorce is just a business deal and the entire state and her lawyers are on her side ordering requirements against you. You must get a lawyer. Please listen to the advice given above. She doesn’t care about you. All she wants is out with maximum $$$$ from the business deal. Sorry and the best of luck!

Oh, I now have a lawyer.

Lawyer said, giving the judge who made the ruling, me having a lawyer the first time may have pushed the judge to force me into the max payments. The judge is heavy on support payments and does not like hearing about men fighting for lower payments.

Now, my lawyer will probably try for lower payments, if everything goes right. But, even if it goes crazy in my favor, I’ll pay her $100 per week, but I’ll still be tight each month.

On top of all the money issues, my ex has succeeded in turning my oldest kid against me. She’s read all the text messages, my ex has cherry picked stuff and screen shotted it to my kid. Real dirty game she’s playing.

Every day gets a little worse, between the kids not liking my apartment and my ex raping me for every last nickel I have.

On more note about this website, men, courts and advice…..

I didn’t think a judge would force me to work 7 days a week to pay child support. I was wrong.

This website, and many others, recommend a lawyer. Other websites say NO lawyer. Tough call. However, I went with no lawyer at first because the overwhelming attitude here is that men WILL get f~~~ed, and to just accept it. So, logical, why pay extra money to a person when I’ll just get f~~~ed anyways?

And advice…..

The overwhelming advice was to stop paying for everything. The car insurance, the child support and anything else. Got me NOWHERE. I was in court, ordered to pay the exact amount I was paying freely to her within two weeks. I quit the insurance before I even filed for divorce, but now I’ll be brought up on comtempt charges, because the end date for the insurance was after I filed for divorce.

Her lawyer will have 30 days to respond to each request we make. I’ll be on court within 6 weeks from now, if we go, to battle this out again.

This s~~~, and not just the divorce, really really really really blows.

Shit tested, Brother approved.

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