Did that make you feel better?

[DocParticipant]

Quote taken straight out of The Daily Stoic and meant for today 8th February

“You cry, I’m suffering severe pain! Are you then relieved from feeling it if you bear it in an unmanly way?” – Seneca, Moral Letters, 78.17

INTERPRETATION
The next time someone gets upset near you – crying, yelling, breaking something, being pointed or cruel- watch how quickly this statement will stop them cold. “I hope this is making you fee better”.
Because, of course it isn’t. Only in the bubble of extreme emotion can we justify that kind of behavior – and when called to account for it we usually feel sheepish or embarrassed.

It is worth applying that standard to yourself. The next time you find yourself in the middle of a freakout, or moaning and groaning with flulike symptoms, crying tears of regret, just ask “is this actually making me feel any better? Is this actually relieving any of the symptoms I wish were gone?”

MY VIEW – used to think that getting things of my chest and screaming from the roof tops actually helped. After reading the above daily note from the Daily Stoic I came to realise that it’s not always the case.

I believe it can make some feel better. A bit like a placebo but I have also come to recognise that restraint does not make the pain harder to bear.

But I think the quote not only applies to the really painful things we have gone through but our responses to what people post in the threads here too.

So the question I guess is “do we feel better having a good moan?”
And
“Do we feel any better for getting p~~~ed at people who have a good moan?”

I ask because I don’t know the answer.

Over to you.

Condition – no fighting please Gentlemen. Nice and easy debate. No call outs.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[Anonymous 12]

How about Red pill Rage, as displayed here at times?
Obviously not a good place to be or go through, but is Emotion not a natural thing to have as a human?
Taken to the extreme… any emotion good or bad, takes away from logical thinking.
Therefor emotion is bad.

Bite the internet cable and transform yourself into a matrix battery then… only serving an inhuman cause.

How far do you push it?

or is the question:

“Does one need an audience”?

[DocParticipant]

I don’t know G-mow.

I see both sides. Trust me a rage like f~~~ and can be a Whiney bastard but after reading that quote this morning I wondered if I feel better after my outbursts or not.

I have always preferred emotional composure but see it as not something a person can necessarily master in totality and permanently.

I just wondered how often we have our outbursts and even though we think we feel better do we actually feel any better than if we didn’t have the outbursts.

I hate the fence so to speak but I’m sat squarely on it right now. Maybe as this thread unfolds I’ll come down on one side or another.

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape, finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. Marcus Aurelius

[Anonymous 54]

I think its a matter of duration.
To momentaraly express anger or sadness releives some pressure.
But to maintain it reenforces the negative thought.
I hate feeling angry.I find someone getting me to laugh snaps me out of it.

I like the concept of Stoisim, but dont like the part about giveing up joy.
Can you be Stoic about negative feelings, but emotional about positive ones?

[Anonymous 54]

Anonymous wrote:

“Does one need an audience”?

Some clearly do.
Ive have zero respect for that.

Some take this for a theatre gig.

See how hard it is to get a real theater gig.
Forceing it on a captive audience is just cheap.

[Anonymous 54]

Do I cry for my own loss, or for their suffering.
There is a big difference.

[Anonymous 12]

When your judgement, and therefor your course of action is clouded by a strong emotion, anything from depressed, angry, miserable, having first world problems, or feelings of lightness, easy-going, happiness, excessive optimism, one must overcome this emotion to regain a sane mind.

What we(MGTOW) want to do is many things, but there is a fundamental agreement that we wish to not be part of the slave class, subdued and exploited.
That means we are free to throw “temper tantrums” and “whine bitch and moan” as we please, provided we accept their consequences.

Sometimes our Emotions are to be lived through, sometimes we share them to willing listeners or unwilling bystanders.
Emotions are a part of our life, and at times we go through bad types of emotions.

As long as we “go through” them, and hopefully fast and controlled enough to create no consequences, i think it is okay, because that is what defines us as humans.

Else… are you really still alive?

[GeraldParticipant 3635]

I’ve been on a lot of sides of this, mostly in the past six months. I’ve studied some Stoicism and have a stoic daily reading book I look at sometimes (yeah, daily reading I read once a week, I get it).

When I lost my wife, being calm and collected versus being visibly upset made no real difference to my overall emotional health, as I experienced both. Being visibly upset though I found drew some people to me and repelled others during it.

Overall though, my study of being in control, managing my emotions, has made this easier to bear. I remain calm and collected, even in the face of the new revelations and rage they want to bring out of me, because I know there is nothing I can do about it and in the end none of it matters.

Empty chair is the mantra that seems to suit this best, meaning, don’t be there screaming, yelling and exacerbating the situation, just separate yourself from the drama.

Although I will add… years ago I put my fist through a wall in front of my girlfriend, destroying the drywall and breaking two fingers… and it drove the point home. Interestingly enough, I was calm throughout it. So I’m not sure if that was a calm rage or an outburst…

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[Anonymous 42]

Doc wrote:

The next time someone gets upset near you – crying, yelling, breaking something, being pointed or cruel- watch how quickly this statement will stop them cold. “I hope this is making you fee better”.

To be honest, Doc, I found walking away is the only way to handle s~~~ like that from others and let them stew in their own juices.

Even when become frustrated I walk away and let my mind rest and think of a new strategy rather than get p~~~ed and smash something to feel good temporary, then regret the replacement cost and the screw I didn’t see that only needed tightening.

I have successfully squelched my bad temper and gained control over my emotions by simply walking away immediately when I feel my blood begin to boil with the haze of anger blurring my ability to rationally extrapolate.

I’ve done a good job of rewiring my head if you ask me!

Doc wrote:

MY VIEW – used to think that getting things of my chest and screaming from the roof tops actually helped. After reading the above daily note from the Daily Stoic I came to realise that it’s not always the case.

Funny you should say that, in the arts and on the mountain skiing I’ve been trained to give short verbal bursts when hitting hard, be it reactionary or intentional, seems to help with becoming solid and unbreakable against impact. Having the wind knocked out of me doing a bomb-hole not withstanding, those sounds are involuntary!

[Anonymous 12]

I’ve done a good job of rewiring my head if you ask me!

NO.

sure as flippin hell not.
Seriously Whaaaat de Faaaak…
Your wiring is more messed up than my ICT Rack.
Be for real, YOOOoooooo

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

I have few, if any emotional impulses anymore. I look at emotions to be like a drug addiction, and emotional outbursts to be like a drug overdose.

It gives me a more passive demeanor, although I know how to convincingly fake every emotion, especially since I used to have emotions and I am self-aware enough to know which situations are appropriate to fake them.

It’d be a mistake to interpret my general tranquility for passiveness or weakness, because I could respond to a threat by cleaving someone’s head off and go right back to drinking tea without my heart beating any faster.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[Anonymous 42]

Anonymous wrote:

I’ve done a good job of rewiring my head if you ask me!

NO.

sure as flippin hell not.
Seriously Whaaaat de Faaaak…
Your wiring is more messed up than my ICT Rack.
Be for real, YOOOoooooo

Can you be more precise? That’s a pretty fat black brush you used with a deep dunk and slap on approach.

Go find someone else’s leg to p~~~ on…

[OldBillParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

How about Red pill Rage, as displayed here at times?

I consider Red Pill rage to be part of a “grieving” process all MGTOWs go through. The real problem isn’t that many here haven’t completed that process, it’s that they don’t want to complete that process. They’re “emotionally stillborn” as it were.

Obviously not a good place to be or go through, but is Emotion not a natural thing to have as a human?

Stoicism doesn’t say that emotions are unnatural, quite to the contrary actually. Stoicism teaches that you should be aware of and understand your emotions. Once you begin to understand why you react and feel the way you do to certain stimuli, you can begin to live in a more peaceful way while accepting the tumult around you.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[LurchParticipant 3871]

Doc wrote:

The next time someone gets upset near you – crying, yelling, breaking something, being pointed or cruel

… you know someone has just tapped 1 red mana and casted,

Blue-Pill Virgin: Women hate me! That's what it is.
MGTOW Man: Hate them back; it works for me.

[Anonymous 42]

Ranger One wrote:

I have few, if any emotional impulses anymore. I look at emotions to be like a drug addiction, and emotional outbursts to be like a drug overdose.

I’ve watched countless hot heads flame over and blow up on everyone around them, they feed it to themselves, more and more and more, until they explode, out of control, off to prison. They don’t think things through to the other side and have no idea how crazy they look, then back to normal like nothing ever happened. Drama! I hate DRAMA! I rather be electrocuted!

Ranger One wrote:

It’d be a mistake to interpret my general tranquility for passiveness or weakness, because I could respond to a threat by cleaving someone’s head off and go right back to drinking tea without my heart beating any faster.

Green or regular? I like regular.

[It’sallbsParticipant]

http://www.leavemeansleave.eu

[BoBParticipant 823]

If I feel the need to scream or yell (not that it necessarily helps), I do so into a pillow in a private room. The release it brings me is usually temporary. I haven’t done it in years.

[Anonymous 42]

It’sallbs wrote:

<iframe width=”500″ height=”281″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/EU91qZbzYIA?feature=oembed” frameborder=”0″ allow=”autoplay; encrypted-media” allowfullscreen=””></iframe>

I’ll give Trump one thing! He put four torpedoes down the port side of Political Correctness!

(((BOOM))) (((BOOM))) (((BOOM))) (((BOOM)))

[Anonymous 12]

I think Emotional outbursts are like massive Potholes in a more or less steady street.
It shakes one to the bones, and it is rarely a good sight.

But, as OldBill says… one has to complete the process.
snap out of it, get through it.
It can be a 5 minute battle or a 6 month struggle… the sane mind has to win.
Until it does, a man can not walk on, keep growing, solving issues and riddles.

so
“did that make you feel better”
does not sound like an useful question.
Depending how it is made, it is belittling and has a shaming component regarding a man’ s human weaknesses.

But let’ s answer it anyway with this:
“yea, because now i can think straight again after the rage has settled”

The focus is on progress, not on the outburst.

[OldBillParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

The focus is on progress, not on the outburst.

Bingo. You summarize in one sentence what I couldn’t in two paragraphs.

Sadly, too many here prefer the outburst to the progress and thus never really go their own way.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[Author]

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