You are taking this far too much to heart. Yeah, I know it’s very easy for me to say, but I think she probably knows that she’s pushing your buttons.
You need to give yourself some mental space to make some plans, your thoughts are all over the place at the moment and it’s not a good time to make big decisions. Solitude is a state of mind.
The way to get some relief is to get a firm grip of yourself and stop reacting, focus on the cerebral rather than the emotional, you are in control of your emotions and no one else. If you live on your emotions, some f~~~er will always come along and push your buttons – you leave yourself open to manipulation, and even if you think you’re winning the argument, you’ve already lost by being drawn in by bulls~~~. Only move when you choose to, when the moving suits you, and not before. Don’t be drawn in and remain on guard.
Have a look on the net for some simple meditation techniques. Even this will work – just count ten exhales and then repeat, breathe normally but your breath will slow and you can collect your thoughts. Work towards being ice cold in your decisions. That doesn’t mean don’t be friendly, it just means that you operate from a place of calm and full advantage, a conscious human rather than a dumb emotional animal. Your colleagues will never make this distinction, it will put you at an immediate advantage, they all swing from one emotion to another all day long – rise above this meager way of existence and take control.
You can choose not to be affected by another person, you can detach and observe their behaviour without becoming emotionally involved. This doesn’t mean suppressing stuff, it means realising that you are engaging emotions before intellect and then choosing to do it the other way around. Team problems, work problems are for your manager to sort out. Do your best and work on you – use this as your Ninja training, train your mind to be calm in the face of these emotional overgrown children Be glad of it, it’s a test, life is supposed to be like this so you can grow.
Make a routine – when you come home from work, get a cuppa, sit down comfortably and do the breathing thing for 20 min every day whilst you sip your tea/coffee, you don’t have to be in some silly lotus position or some crap, that’s all bulls~~~. If your mind wanders, just come back to focusing on the counting.
When you have a grip on that, and it wont take you long, start thing about HOW you want to live, what is important to you in your work, and let that guide your decisions – you’ll never answer the ‘what to do with my life?’ question, it’s too big and too vague, but you can decide what you WANT, and think about what environment will suit you best.
This life is just a game, a virtual reality. Have fun with it, don’t take it too seriously but make sure you go after the life you want, and don’t let the obstacles slow you down, they’re just traps to overcome, have a wry smile to yourself that you outwitted life’s bulls~~~ when it tried to nail you and remained true to yourself and steady. Let the tests come, they will matter less and less as you grow stronger. Soon you’ll welcome them.
We only dream this bondage. Wake up and let it go. - Vivekananda
Anonymous 4 years, 2 months ago.
