Could anything be worse than a cruise with your wife?

[Anonymous 43]

fu yz, you brought up all these s~~~ty memories…its all your fault!

omg what did I just do?

im sorry there buddy… I don’t know what came over me

[TwistParticipant]

May – you were at the f~~~ing aquarium, right? Maybe an Orca exhibit? That was your out. And then you could have sorbed up the sympathy….

[Anonymous 0]

Anonymous wrote:

fu yz, you brought up all these s~~~ty memories…its all your fault!

omg what did I just do?

im sorry there buddy… I don’t know what came over me

No, no, no. It was most excellent. You confirmed what I had only theorized and you did it in a big way. Thank you brother.

[Anonymous 0]

OP’s Question
Could anything be worse than a cruise with your wife?
YES
A cruise with your ex wife!
Or Gawd forbid, a cruise with both of them
Or pure hell, all three of them!

[sidecarParticipant 35862]

Anonymous wrote:

Also, there’s the possibility for mechanical failure and the ship gets stranded for days/weeks with no electricity or clean water.

And that’s on top of the tedium of being stuck on some boat with a bunch of retirees and families for days on end even if everything goes right.

Honestly, by the third day I’d be looking forward to Somali Pirates.

Anonymous wrote:

been on Disney cruise with c~~~ and 2 kids.

F~~~ing hell.

Those Somali Pirates are looking better and better. Yo ho ho!

[Anonymous 43]

yz glad I could help. omg two horrible weeks as a guest of the Disney company.

it made the divorce bulls~~~ seem tame in comparison. Just endless bitching about everything. Makes me appreciate the silence I enjoy now.

Jesus I forgot about the postcard thing…we docked on this special island and walk past a post office shack thing. She bought some cards in the gift extortion emporium and wanted to send them. We wrote out cards at this restaurant, a mile or 2 from the dock. She goes in her purse and puts American stamps on them and tells me to go mail these cards. Bahamas isn’t going to take American postage…she flies into a full blown rage and asks me who am I to be the f~~~ing expert…I collected stamps when I was a kid. Put the postage of that country on out going international mail. More rage because more rage will get the cards back to her mom and dad. So I get out of there, with her f~~~ing cards, and I can hear her off in the distance bitchin and whiuning. So I get the post office shed…it’s closed. F~~~. I threw the cards in the trash and walked back.

Bitch asked me if I mailed the s~~~ and told her yes.

Some moron walks up behind me and returns the cards to me…I thought you confused the post box with the trash can he says, handing me the cards…f~~~ing boyscout omg I could have ripped this dudes trachea out. Then he says, you can tmail these here they have American postage, you need Bahama stamps. Here I have some extra stamps. The post box is on the wall of the shack. Have a good day folks…

S~~~.

omg boned right there by some f~~~ing f~~~ do gooder. lol c~~~ was so p~~~ed I shoulda swam home.

[Eric LauderParticipant 12053]

Anonymous wrote:

Autolite wrote:

Maybe a cruise with your wife and her twin sister perhaps???

Wife and mother in law?

What about my wife (and children) + my mother + my sister + my sister’s daughter being 16 and asking me to accompany her at the night at the ship’s disco (all others were sleeping) then going drunk (with single coca cola + cointreau) then insisting to pretend to flirt with me in order to make jealous a 18-20 yo unknown guy and then me yelling her “Stop! Stop immediatly or I’ll tell to my sister!”?
What about my ex wife who while in Dubrovnik wished to buy a rare and very expensive parrot? And then got mad because I didn’t buy it?
What about my ex wife missing a precious chiseled lighter-carrier in silver on the ship while she didn’t even smoke and was using the lighter to create stupid necklaces with plastic fake stones?

SUPREME LEADER KIM JONG-UN'S FASHION STYLIST - if you want a new look or if you're a very beautiful trans you can call me, phone number +85079255312 / mobile 01921421211. The worth of a man isn't the usefulness that women get from him. Avoiding living with a woman, a man isn't rejecting a lot of sex: he's rejecting sexual starvation. MGTOW IS TACKLING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN COMPLIANCE WITH CONVENTION OF ISTANBUL: http://www.coe.int/en/web/conventions/full-list/-/conventions/rms/090000168008482e --- Article 4, Section 4 "Special measures that are necessary to prevent and protect women from gender-based violence shall not be considered discrimination under the terms of this Convention". WHAT I LEARNT FROM A GENDER STUDIES CLASS IN LUND, SWEDEN: every time feminists accuses men of doing something, odds are likely either them or persons associated with them are doing the exact same thing but a lot worse. WHO I'M RIGHT NOW https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1okpAj7Fhw Basically my former life have been a conflict between this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yz_RQVkvke4 and this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFIMeyTK-sU That's, more or less, all about me.

[RennieParticipant]

sidecar wrote:

Wasn’t there a sitcom about this?

Would that be called “The Love Boat” by any chance? Never watched it. But I can only imagine that’s what it’s about.

Anonymous wrote:

I forgot about that little jewel. Also, there’s the possibility for mechanical failure and the ship gets stranded for days/weeks with no electricity or clean water.

Which has happened in recent history. Carnival Triumph. Cough.

[sidecarParticipant 35862]

Rennie wrote:

Never watched it. But I can only imagine that’s what it’s about.

Me neither, but I’ll bet anything it was blue pill as f~~~.

[SwimcatParticipant 3601]

Taking a wife on a cruise is like taking a peanut butter sandwich to a gourmet banquet.

[Anonymous 43]

omg 70’s tv

The love boat and fantasy island jesus what a s~~~show. and Hotel in the 80s absolute trash

[53ClicksUpParticipant 1345]

Yep, I was stupid enough to fall for that one too! At the behest of my crazy ex, I booked us on the Carnival Dream because it was a brand new ship. Got a cabin with a private balcony which turned out to have no sun because of the shade from the lifeboats suspended overhead. I tried to make the best of it, but the bitch wasn’t having any of it.

Our cabin was adjacent to a huge loading hatch where all the dry goods and supplies were loaded onto the ship. It got rough a couple of times at sea and the hull of the ship was torquing and twisting so badly that those giant steel doors were creaking and groaning all night long. Mark my words…. when that ship breaks up and goes down, it will be because the hull fractured right there thru the structural weak point that was introduced into the design by those large external hatches.

Being at sea wasn’t so bad, but the on-shore activities were ridiculously expensive. Where ever we dropped anchor in port, there were 5 or more other cruise ships all pulling in at the same time. So if you do the math, that’s 5 ships multiplied by 5,000 asshole tourists on each ship, all descending on the the little village in Belize at the same time. Imagine trying to have a relaxing time with 25,000 liberal jack offs from New Jersey and New York running amok competing for the limited available resources.

Oh, an don’t forget the dreaded Ledo deck. This is where all the parents dumped their kids unsupervised at the pool which was surrounded by 4 giant jumbo tron screens with non-stop music and movies blaring continuously. If I could have gotten my hands on a heavy crew served automatic weapon, I would have turned all those screaming little bastards into shark chum.

That cruise was exactly the type of experience I feared it was going to be. Plus after I had spent all those thousands of dollars, during the long 15 hour drive home, at night, in the freezing cold, it was then that the wife chose to tell me the cruise had left her feeling “hollow inside”.

Listen guys. An open ocean cruise can be one of the most beautiful and cathartic experiences anyone can have. But you’re not going to find it on a cruise ship. I strongly recommend taking a basic sailing class and then simply renting a 30 foot sailboat and just single handed cruise the Abacos Islands in the Bahamas.

It will cost a lot less money and you will have a far more enjoyable time. You can cruise at your own pace anywhere you want to go. Pull into a small harbor, go ashore drink and dance at night. F~~~ young German girls and never see them again. Weigh anchor in the morning, sail to the next island and then boink a couple Dutch girls. You can repeat the process as many times as you care to.

Or simply sail to a lagoon, read a book and later barter beer and cigarettes with the local fisherman for fresh seafood. You paddle your dingy to shore, start a fire on the beach, grill up your fresh caught Grouper and have a feast. Drink rum, be mellow, and fall asleep on the sand with a full moon and gently swaying palm trees overhead.

This is why I bought my own sailboat last year. Another couple of years working to save money and practice sailing on the Chesapeake and then I will retire. The dog and I will be headed South to the Florida Keys first. After that maybe the Caribbean, Bahamas, maybe Central America. Basically any where I f~~~ing feel like going. And I will be happy and content, because I won’t have 25,000 tourist c~~~s with their manginas to compete with on shore, or one stupid and bitchy wife in my bunk at night ruining the whole experience for me.

[Elric GreenstoneParticipant 1637]

Anonymous wrote:

been on Disney cruise with c~~~ and 2 kids.

I’ve been on a few good vacations with exes (wife and gf).

Actually, that last sentence came out awesome. Alas, not really. I have never been on a vacation with my wife and girlfriend at the same time. I’ve also never had a wife and girlfriend at the same time.

I’ve been on a few good vacations with an ex.

I’ve also been on any number of really awful vacations with an ex, many of which, for some insane reason, involved visiting the ex’s family. At least it was cheap. No, no, it usually wasn’t cheap, because we had to buy gifts and take them out to dinner because they were nice enough (?!?!?!?!?) to let us stay with them instead of at a hotel where I wanted to stay. Like, say, in another state. That hotel. The one on the other side of the Rockies.

"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."

[Pedal, run, rowParticipant]

Swimcat wrote:

Taking a wife on a cruise is like taking a peanut butter sandwich to a gourmet banquet.

Uhhh, you haven’t been on a cruise ship in the past 20 years I assume? One of the big attractions is the 24 hour buffet. I remember fat women marveling at how they had cholate fountains to dip your cake into… Probably 90% of the women are overweight and 50% obese. The choice of women is far from gourmet.

Take wife
Get her drunk
Help her fall overboard in the dead of night
Great cruise!

[Anonymous 43]

here ya go 53

[Elric GreenstoneParticipant 1637]

53ClicksUp wrote:

it was then that the wife chose to tell me the cruise had left her feeling “hollow inside”.

I’m assuming this wasn’t her way of telling you she wanted coitus.

53ClicksUp wrote:

simply renting a 30 foot sailboat and just single handed cruise the Abacos Islands in the Bahamas.

It will cost a lot less money and you will have a far more enjoyable time. You can cruise at your own pace anywhere you want to go. Pull into a small harbor, go ashore drink and dance at night. F~~~ young German girls and never see them again. Weigh anchor in the morning, sail to the next island and then boink a couple Dutch girls. You can repeat the process as many times as you care to.

Or simply sail to a lagoon, read a book and later barter beer and cigarettes with the local fisherman for fresh seafood.

Glad you brought it up. Sailing a small craft with a reasonable draft is not wildly difficult with satellite GPS.

53ClicksUp wrote:

The dog and I will be headed South to the Florida Keys first. After that maybe the Caribbean, Bahamas, maybe Central America. Basically any where I f~~~ing feel like going. And I will be happy and content, because I won’t have 25,000 tourist c~~~s with their manginas to compete with on shore, or one stupid and bitchy wife in my bunk at night ruining the whole experience for me.

You have, in fact, just stated my fantasy life. Good luck, brother.

"You can either love women, or understand women. You can't do both. Because once you understand women, you realize that there is really nothing to love."

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Never did a cruise and never want to. Whales in the ocean and on deck lol. Not my way to relax. I prefer to pack up the camping gear, hiking boots, cooking stuff and hit the trail. Those you may run into tend not to be obese disgusting pigs with their fat asses scarfing down a chicken wing from the all night orgy. There is so much blubber on those cruise ships I’m surprised those boats can float. Outdoor trips lend to more healthy types and less brats. And if you do run into some bulls~~~ers – just hike in the other direction. If you got a no strings young lady – bring her along. Nothing better than a good f~~~ under the stars. Either way – it’s peaceful.

[Anonymous 43]

bestest camping place…Sparta Elroy bike trail in Wisconsin

great camping, awesome bike ride on the trail, little towns, tunnels no cellphones, no computers no bulls~~~.
Just ride along and enjoy the day. no worries, no stress, and a couple miles ouside town/camp, no idiots.

I want to go back this summer.

F~~~ everything and go get lost in the middle of nowhere

[sidecarParticipant 35862]

Pedal, run, row wrote:

Probably 90% of the women are overweight and 50% obese. The choice of women is far from gourmet.

Apparently the all-gay cruises are also nothing but a buffet of blubber. One of my employees came back after two weeks complaining he was the fittest man on the boat. Also it was filled up with angry lesbians. Landwhale housefraus are bad enough, but I can only imagine the horror of a ship full of landwhale dykes on the prowl.

Help her fall overboard in the dead of night

The ships have sensors to detect that these days.

You’d probably have better luck getting her “kidnapped” on one of the excursions.

[RennieParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

been on Disney cruise with c~~~ and 2 kids.

#1 problem excursions…going to the desk to get excursions is a pita

#2 daycare…on a strict schedule, no exceptions who knew there were 1000 children on a f~~~ing Disney cruise?

#5 pain. I slept on the floor sea sick for 3 nights in the hallway next to the bathroom. Vibrating floor, party downstairs all night, seasick, in major pain.

#6 signature book mayhem…gotta get the characters to sigh the $20 book. up until midnight chasing some college kid intern around the boat at midnight. yeah some fun there.

#7 Food. All the f~~~ing food you could eat. moar cinnamon rolls, free soda and icecream refills. So many landwhales it was suicidal to go eat. I lived very well on dropped food.

#8 pools, slides, shows, giftshop and anything fun on the boat was jammed with bodies and unavailable. Mostly I was walking the decks with the kids while the c~~~ went to the spa for cucumber facials and nail treatments.

#10 C~~~ refused to leave the stateroom at the appointed time to leave the boat. She didn’t want to put her luggage out the night before so we carried all our s~~~ through the line. we were maybe within the last 100 to leave the ship. We were the only ones who carried luggage, had to take it all apart for inspection, pull it all apart, then stuff it all together to leave. Again all my f~~~ing fault. Put the luggage out the night before, it was randomly xrayed and sent along in seconds. All my fault.

So, I was hurt, seasick, bitched out at least 4 times, c~~~ signed all the travelers checks within the port, one kid lost her shoes, my camera broke, broiled in the sun for an hour during boat drill in port and got heat issues, food was sickeningly sweet and over plentiful, not much sleep chasing peter pan through 5 decks, didn’t even get as much as a quicky handy in bed. She f~~~ed up the travelers checks, the daycare arrangements, the excursions, bitched about the rain, the third world transportation system, the aquarium debacle, she lost $2000 in a casino in 12 seconds, bitched about everything blamed me for all the s~~~, bought a huge pile of s~~~ in the giftshop, and cursed me out a couple times a day for s~~~ beyond my control.

Basically everything that is wrong with cruising today.

53ClicksUp wrote:

Oh, an don’t forget the dreaded Ledo deck. This is where all the parents dumped their kids unsupervised at the pool which was surrounded by 4 giant jumbo tron screens with non-stop music and movies blaring continuously. If I could have gotten my hands on a heavy crew served automatic weapon, I would have turned all those screaming little bastards into shark chum.

That’s a big part of what I was referring to when I said sensory overload. They all have those big stupid televisions with huge speakers blasting at atleast the level of a heavy metal rock concert constantly. I understand the pools are usually hugely overcrowded as well.

No thanks.

[Author]

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