Contacted my ex

[the roadParticipant 3125]

My 5 year old son and her son (less than a year older) were friends and my son keeps asking about them and wanting to spend time with them.

I sent her an email last night regarding a playdate for them and she replied this morning. She said that she was actually about to email me regarding getting them together to play. Her son liked me as well but she made sure to specifically say that he was asking about ‘James’ and not ‘you and James’. It probably sounds like I am nit picking on a tiny detail but I know her and how her mind works. Just that little detail is huge to her.

Anyway, just this simple interaction makes my overall stress level go up. I didn’t want to ever talk to her again but I don’t think it’s fair to my son to cut him off from his friend like that. I know that she is going to go out of her way to act cold and distant toward me and probably find a way to try and make me jealous about something.

I don’t want to be with her but I haven’t gotten over the situation all the way yet. She was such a s~~~ stirring bitch and my money disappeared quickly each month because of her. It was like a constant war against my mind. Constant arguing, constant s~~~ tests. It was relentless. If I had married her, guaranteed that we would be divorcing. And she is the type that would try to punish me as hard as she could- so you know that she would be going after my money. I escaped with my wallet intact, my sanity, and I’m close to purchasing a home now (which wouldn’t be happening if I had stayed with her).

I know that I wouldn’t be writing about this unless there is still something deep down in me that is still hung up on her. The truth that we’ll never be together again isn’t enough to stop the anger. I guess I should have waited a couple more months. Need to keep taking my red pills.

#MANOUT

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

the road wrote:

I don’t want to be with her but I haven’t gotten over the situation all the way yet. She was such a s~~~ stirring bitch and my money disappeared quickly each month because of her. It was like a constant war against my mind. Constant arguing, constant s~~~ tests. It was relentless. If I had married her, guaranteed that we would be divorcing. And she is the type that would try to punish me as hard as she could- so you know that she would be going after my money. I escaped with my wallet intact, my sanity, and I’m close to purchasing a home now (which wouldn’t be happening if I had stayed with her).

So why again are you contacting her? What’s toxic for the parent becomes toxic for the child, there are millions of kids in this world so I’m confident your son will find another pal, but by no means should you use his request as proxy to get within the same company as your ex.

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[narwhalParticipant]

When you say they were friends, what does that mean? Were you living with your ex? If so, for how long? Do they practically have a brother type relationship?

Exactly, what are you thinking you’re going to accomplish with this playdate? I mean, is this going to be a regular thing you do for as long as the boys want to spend time together, or is it a one time deal that you hope will get it out his system?

IMO, unfortunately, kids will have to break relationship with kids and adults based on the actions of their parents. It happens whenever a kid has to move. It happens during divorce and similar situations like yours. It’s ok for them to have to deal with it, regardless of whether it’s fair or not.

When I was a kid, my family moved once a year, so I was very familiar with losing friends. My kids have had to move once and lose friends, and of course, they had to deal with the drama of Dad not being there anymore. They are fine with everything now.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, you make the decision, but you could actually making the separation more difficult for your son… and not giving yourself the proper opportunity to move past it all.

Ok. Then do it.

[OldBillParticipant]

A five year old? You reconnected with this harpy because of a five year old?

When he asks where his “friend” is and why he can’t see him, tell him that his friend moved too far away to visit and end the conversation. He’s five. If your words and actions hadn’t been helping him remember the other boy, he would have forgotten about him in days.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[the roadParticipant 3125]

MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To Give wrote:

So why again are you contacting her? What’s toxic for the parent becomes toxic for the child, there are millions of kids in this world so I’m confident your son will find another pal, but by no means should you use his request as proxy to get within the same company as your ex.

I was hoping that I could figure out a mechanism that would allow me to barely speak with her but allow our boys to play. Now that I say this I realize how stupid it sounds. I would think that logically we should be able to return to being friends with enough time. I have known my ex since we were teenagers, 20+ years. I know that I have had enough time to be cordial but I don’t take s~~~ off of anyone and that’s what I’m afraid of.

narwhal wrote:

When you say they were friends, what does that mean? Were you living with your ex? If so, for how long? Do they practically have a brother type relationship?

Exactly, what are you thinking you’re going to accomplish with this playdate? I mean, is this going to be a regular thing you do for as long as the boys want to spend time together, or is it a one time deal that you hope will get it out his system?

IMO, unfortunately, kids will have to break relationship with kids and adults based on the actions of their parents. It happens whenever a kid has to move. It happens during divorce and similar situations like yours. It’s ok for them to have to deal with it, regardless of whether it’s fair or not.

When I was a kid, my family moved once a year, so I was very familiar with losing friends. My kids have had to move once and lose friends, and of course, they had to deal with the drama of Dad not being there anymore. They are fine with everything now.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, you make the decision, but you could actually making the separation more difficult for your son… and not giving yourself the proper opportunity to move past it all.

We didn’t live with each other but that was the plan. They really did have a brother type relationship. We spent most of our time together for a couple years. Trips, daily stuff, making dinner, holiday stuff, sleepovers, etc.

What am I hoping to accomplish? That’s a great question. I am hoping to find a way to let them play without me being angry and fighting with the bitch. There is no way we’re getting back together, there is no desire/hope of that either.

OldBill wrote:

A five year old? You reconnected with this harpy because of a five year old?

When he asks where his “friend” is and why he can’t see him, tell him that his friend moved too far away to visit and end the conversation. He’s five. If your words and actions hadn’t been helping him remember the other boy, he would have forgotten about him in days.

Trust me when I say that I never talk about the bitch or bring them up. I instantly change the subject each time he mentions them. He has been asking more and more about them and I have a difficult time lying to him, that’s the problem. I didn’t want to tell him that I can’t stand her ass and that’s why I went out and started f~~~ing other chicks. Didn’t think that would sound good.

You guys just made me realize that if I am this leery of the situation then there is no reason why I should even be attempting this. I believe I have my answer. There is a bit of guilt on my side because I’ve always felt like s~~~ that I couldn’t give my son a family but that’s just the way it is.

#MANOUT

[Anonymous 2]

Each topic like this is another Red Pill. No kids for me. I’ll probably end up freezing my seed and burying a time capsule. I don’t have kids but my gut agrees with OldBill.

[the roadParticipant 3125]

Anonymous wrote:

Each topic like this is another Red Pill. No kids for me. I’ll probably end up freezing my seed and burying a time capsule. I don’t have kids but my gut agrees with OldBill.

It can be a nightmare brother. I never wanted kids. My son was unplanned. My plan was to work my job in IT, make enough to travel, play in a traveling band, and pound as much pussy as possible in each city that I went through.

There is zero chance of that now. So get the snip is my advice.

#MANOUT

[Just a ManParticipant 934]

Well, OP, do yourself a favor and have some fun. Put on your dirt clothes and go play with the kids and ignore her. At 5 and 6 you and they will have a blast. Make it all about them. If you throw yourself into it you will forget all about her and make sure to tell her, beforehand, it is about the kids. Unfortunately, the more her kid likes you the more she will probably hate you, but hey, so what?

Bring pirate stuff for sure.

Philosophy, the female repellent

[experiencedParticipant]

MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To Give wrote:

the road wrote:

I don’t want to be with her but I haven’t gotten over the situation all the way yet. She was such a s~~~ stirring bitch and my money disappeared quickly each month because of her. It was like a constant war against my mind. Constant arguing, constant s~~~ tests. It was relentless. If I had married her, guaranteed that we would be divorcing. And she is the type that would try to punish me as hard as she could- so you know that she would be going after my money. I escaped with my wallet intact, my sanity, and I’m close to purchasing a home now (which wouldn’t be happening if I had stayed with her).

So why again are you contacting her? What’s toxic for the parent becomes toxic for the child, there are millions of kids in this world so I’m confident your son will find another pal, but by no means should you use his request as proxy to get within the same company as your ex.

AGREED.

Take your child to the park.
Take your child to combo pizzaAndKids game amusement places, take your kid to the zoo, bowling, arcades, video game stores, tiny pet shops, get him a golden retriever puppy …. …. …. …. ….AND WHILE YOU ARE AT ALL OF THEM, MAKE CONTACT WITH THE OTHER KIDS PARENTS TO SET UP PLAY DATES.
I realize this will involve effort but consider the cesspool quagmire that YOU will be responsible for putting YOUR KID through if you continue to do his socializing through her. What, he’ll meet his first lay via her and that first lay will get OOpsey pregnant with another guys semen.
GET AWAY AND GET YOUR KID AWAY FROM THE C~~~.

What’s next??????? I contacted my EX because…. NO! GET IT INTO YOUR OWN HEAD NOW TODAY THIS SECCOND THAT YOU WILL NOT BE CONTACTING HER ..EVER! SHE HAD HER CHANCE. IT IS OVER.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Anonymous 42]

Contacted my ex

Road, you exhumed a dead f~~~ing body and expect it not to stink? WTF dude? What are you thinking?
Now what happens to you and your sons new life?
What about the next time he’s pulled away?
From what you’ve said, I think it’s best to live on and forget!
A man who crosses back over burnt bridges always falls in…
Nothing good will come of this….

[narwhalParticipant]

Just a Man wrote:

Well, OP, do yourself a favor and have some fun. Put on your dirt clothes and go play with the kids and ignore her. At 5 and 6 you and they will have a blast. Make it all about them. If you throw yourself into it you will forget all about her and make sure to tell her, beforehand, it is about the kids. Unfortunately, the more her kid likes you the more she will probably hate you, but hey, so what?

Bring pirate stuff for sure.

Disagree on this. You cannot successfully separate the child from it’s mom. It won’t happen, and there is nothing good that could come from it. It’s like you’re trying to pull off the Band-Aid slowly…just rip it off already.

Say you do this play date and it actually goes well…then what? Do you have to schedule it again so you don’t disappoint your son? Eventually, you will have to cut it off, so do it now.

If your boy needs friends, then sign him up for boy scouts, a sports team, something like that. If OP wants to get highly involved, I’m sure it will be welcomed.

Ok. Then do it.

[Anonymous 5]

Your Ex is pulling the same NAWALT stunt on your son as she she pulled on you.
Think back to how good her NAWALT routine was with you, a grown man. What chance does a 5 year old have?
You can bet she’s mentioning your son to her son constantly. She’s using him as well.
She’s using your son as the perfect Trojan.

Do you really want this woman to be using your son to undermine you when he’s 10?, 15?, 20?
She’ll be laying on the sweetness with a trowel, while all the time subtlety playing the victim, and subtlety portraying you as the bastard.

All the time your son will be the torn victim, the meat in the sandwich, the swinging voter, the innocent civilian in an adult relationship war.

If you had kids together you’d be in the usual nightmare with no way out. She’d be able to torture you forever, using the kids as hostages and weapons.
But you have more than a choice, you have an obligation to your son to give him the best childhood you can give him.

GET YOUR SON AWAY FROM THAT TOXIC BITCH,,,,DON’T LET HIM PAY FOR YOUR MISTAKES.

[the roadParticipant 3125]

Thanks for the advice my brethren. Some good points here.

#MANOUT

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

the road wrote:

Thanks for the advice my brethren. Some good points here.

Now then. Cancel the playdate and tell your boy they live too far away.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[Wolf redpillmanSpectator 1658]

You.on that same.boat as.my cousin about 8 year ago my cousin.met this chick who is 5 year younger than him she had a child from a previous relationship with some bad boy that is doin.life for murdered ,so my cousin move her in with him and her child then he have a child with her ,after 3 year that c~~~ just left him she call her mother and left my cousin ,now my cousin have to see her face everytime he want to see his 8 year old son back them.i was a blue.pill man that was in 2008 lucky for me i never make his mistake now my cousin stuck with that c~~~

[the roadParticipant 3125]

Nerevar wrote:

the road wrote:

Thanks for the advice my brethren. Some good points here.

Now then. Cancel the playdate and tell your boy they live too far away.

I never actually set one up so I’m good, I only inquired about it. And I never told my son so he’s not expecting it either.

On a side note, not sure if I came through clear but I never had a child with her. We both have 1 child each from previous relationships.

#MANOUT

[Just a ManParticipant 934]

Wasn’t trying to separate the child from his mother. Just my advice on the children and since they are 5 and 6 and basically live in the moment, he can enjoy it with them. The mother is irrelevant other than being his sons friends mother.

Philosophy, the female repellent

[MemberParticipant 323]

Things get so complicated when kids are involved. That’s why I would rather not date than let my children get emotionally attached to another leech. I see people all the time drag their kids through one girlfriend of boyfriend after another not realizing that the kids get attached to them as well. When you break up with someone it can be painful for the kids too.

Make any excuse you can and avoid talking to her again. No reason to get into the details on why but just Ghost. She can go ruin someone else’s life and let you and your kid be.

[MaleficsParticipant 53]

the road wrote:

On a side note, not sure if I came through clear but I never had a child with her. We both have 1 child each from previous relationships.

…This makes your situation a lot easier. For a second there I thought she was the mother of your child. If she’s just your ex and you don’t even have a child with her, than this is a no brainer. Don’t even bother with her. In time your son will know you did the right decision.

AWALT. Never forget.

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

the road wrote:

There is a bit of guilt on my side because I’ve always felt like s~~~ that I couldn’t give my son a family but that’s just the way it is.

You are giving him a family..YOU,Single moms do this all the time,the difference is they raise dysfunctional offspring due to inherent flaws(after 4-5 y/o females roles start to diminish at a high speed). You are right on time for being an active male their to raise your son into a decent man. I know a two men with two boys each,both have custody and their boys are turning out great. Females bring disfunction to any area they reside in.

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[Author]

Posts