Child pickup

[GrizzlyParticipant 42]

I have a temporary parenting plan and working on a permanent one. It’s been 7 months and I’m looking for advice on interactions with my ex or her parents. Right now I just completely ignore them unless they ask a question directly related to my son. I’m finding it difficult to not care what she does or what she has. I guess that’s pretty vague but I imagine someone here has been in my shoes.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Anything you do or say can be held against you etc.

My situation was that my ex violated every agreed upon decision on court documents.

I could have gone back to court and had the judge tell her to be a descent human being. But, in the end no one gives a s~~~ about your situation.

It comes down to two people working out what works for them.

The reality is how much do you want to be in your children’s life? The greater the want the larger the amount of s~~~ you must be willing to endure.

In my case, she took the child 4 states away and I spent two years not seeing him. But then she found a Chad and wanted date time so she asked if I wanted him back?

Like my lawyer said when I was upset about her taking the child away. No one (woman) goes to jail over child custody disputes.

Remember this please. When you enter a contract with another person what’s written on a piece of paper isn’t what’s important. What’s important is the persons character. You can’t make someone be a decent human being. You can take them to court and pay an extreme amount of money to get a judgement.

When you enter a marriage contract you are dependant on her character.

Good luck

Peace brothers

[HitmanParticipant]

my brother,
you have to play “let’s make a deal” all the time.
be as civil as possible.
smile and be the better person as often as possible.
give up your weekends and free time willingly for the child.
you will not regret it.
take the high road.
be tactful and negotiate terms that work for you..
don’t try to win all the time.
be far more than fair.
.
once a child is in the picture,
their well being has to come first.

[Nice Guy EddieParticipant 527]

I’m in a very similar position.

Document every interaction you have with her.

Insist on email and/or txt messaging unless the matter is truly urgent.

If you rely on phone or face-to-face interaction, it will become a “he said, she said” situation, and there is only one winner in that situation.

Good luck

NGE

[GrizzlyParticipant 42]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hitman has given that “be civil” recommendation before.

He’s a single Dad so ……

/forums/topic/being-civil-in-a-divorce/

A real calmness goes a long way. Custody battles are stupid and any parent who would deny the other parent access to a child is not fit to parent in the first place. But I really enjoyed that post from him where he emphasizes being civil.

A woman won’t be, so you have to be.

My cousin is going through this s~~~ now so I’m seeing it first hand. His ex wife is a pistol and needs to be right about everything ALL the time. It’s taking all his self control to just take it easy. His patience is being tested. Thats’ for sure.

It’s a long video, but notice the difference in attitude between the father and the mother here. Which one is more civil and calm? That’s the one the son wants to live with.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Author]

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